I need some help on a fan fiction I’m making. Spoilers

[JustFEM]

So basically, this fanfiction will be called “GTA: Three-Dimensional War”, which provides a fitting end to nearly everyone in the GTA 3D universe. It will even have one of those “(character who survived the game) dies in his sleep at 93 years.” And it will also include Carcer City from Manhunt, just as a reference.

 

It’s 2003. Claude and Maria visit CJ in Los Santos to tell him the good news (Claude killing Catalina). They become best friends, teaming up in their criminal activities. Tommy is (trying to be) retired, having a wife and 2 kids who have no idea about Tommy’s killing past (and sometimes present). Toni Cipriani has taken over the entire of Liberty City, realizing that he will have to go to other cities to find Claude. Mike (GTA Advance) is… I’ll just let him stay in Colombia. 
 

Tommy goes to Las Venturas with his family, after they begged him God knows how many times. A little bit before, Toni flies to San Fierro, after finding no trace of Claude in Vice City and no trace in Carcer City. Toni did notice Tommy, but he decided to respect Tommy’s attempt to retire.

 

Unfortunately, the trip does not end well for Tommy, as a former Forelli exploded Tommy’s Sultan, killing his whole family. Tommy swore to achieve revenge, causing him to go back to his world of crime. He headed to Los Santos, hoping to find this Forelli after unsuccessful anttempts ant San Fierro, the Countryside, and Las Venturas. This time, he’s not being forced. Toni receives intel from Leone spies that Claude is in Los Santos, helping Grove Street maintain their territory.

 

The protagonists are all in Los Santos, and a huge war is about to cause hell on earth. Only few characters will survive. Is Toni going to kill Claude? Will Tommy find the Forelli? Are Rosenberg and Vercetti finally going to see each other? All will be answered!

 

Now, I don’t know everything. I haven’t finished the San Andreas storyline. I never played Liberty City Stories, or Vice City Stories. If anyone could help me with more knowledge and/or suggest improvements to the fan fiction, I would really like that.

 

I already have 2 planned kills:

Tommy killing Donald Love

Maria or Claude killing Toni

 

 

Edited February 6, 2024 by JustFEM
Banshee is a 2-seater, not a 4-seater

[Kyoto]

Just a few questions, OP...

 

2 hours ago, JustFEM said:

Claude and Maria visit CJ in Los Santos to tell him the good news

How did they find CJ, exactly?

 

2 hours ago, JustFEM said:

a former Forelli exploded Tommy’s Banshee, killing his whole family

How does a family fit in a Banshee if it's a two-seater?

 

2 hours ago, JustFEM said:

Maria or Claude killing Toni

What are they going to do after he respawns at a hospital?

[SM-W]

I'm not sure how a meeting between Claude and CJ would go. Setting aside that Claude is mute in all his appearances (as I'm assuming that he speaks in your fanfic), CJ had a very unpleasant view of Claude. I'm not sure if he would count Catalina's betrayal / death as "good news" so-to-speak. I suppose there's an interesting "conflict" to be had there in terms of how they would interact with each other 11 years later, to inform CJ that his former crazy "girlfriend(?)" who left him for "that mute asshole" ended up betraying the guy and then he killed her. The words "conflict of emotions" would probably be an apt description. You say that Claude is now apparently helping CJ maintain the Families in Los Santos, but one must ask why would CJ give him any control and why would the Families accept Claude in some kind of leadership position when he's not a part of their gang. (I suppose he could do "contractor" work for them, getting his hands dirty and getting heat off of the Families while they keep their hands clean.)

Spoiler

That said, the conflict between the Bloods and the Crips (who the Families and Ballas are based off of) had more-or-less wound down quite a bit by 2003, but that depends on if you want to keep your concept in line with real life events or go full on towards the realm of fiction.

 

The idea of Tommy Vercetti having a family does feel weird to me, but then again, my headcannon is that he didn't live to see the new millennium as a result of his lifestyle and possible cocaine addiction, so I'm kind of biased by my own beliefs in that regard. I think my main question is why someone who is a former Forelli member would still be after Tommy (or what is his motive is for suddenly going after Tommy and his family) an entire 17 years after the events of Vice City. (It's not like Tommy exactly had a low-key life to start with, and Sonny knew where he lived anyway.) Is this only the most recent of other previous attempts? I feel like some explanation would be required of the intervening years and what the Forellis did/felt about Tommy during that time frame.

Again, this is your own fanfic so you should do whatever feels right to you - plus I can appreciate a different view than myself. However, I feel like, if the Forellis were to target anyone in 2003, it would probably be Claude, since he killed a number of their people only 2 years prior in service of Salvatore and the Leone crime family.
 

 

Also: As for not having played VCS, I suppose it's not entirely necessary: Victor Vance gets killed before you even control Tommy for the first time, and Lance Vance dies at the end of Vice City, so pretty much everything in VCS gets wrapped up in one way or another ..... unless you plan to include Phil Collins as a character, which is an idea I could 100% get behind!

 

"After the dust settles, the only survivor of the battle is Tactical Phil Collins, who then leaves to finish up the Brother Bear soundtrack for Disney."

Edited February 6, 2024 by SM-W

[JustFEM]

12 hours ago, Kyoto said:

Just a few questions, OP...

 

How did they find CJ, exactly?

 

How does a family fit in a Banshee if it's a two-seater?

 

What are they going to do after he respawns at a hospital?

Oh I did not realize that a Banshee is a two-seater. Thanks

 

Claude would travel around San Andreas I guess, eventually finding CJ in Grove Street (I haven’t finished the entire San Andreas storyline)

 

Uh… there’s no hospital. Dying once equals permanent

[JustFEM]

20 hours ago, SM-W said:

I'm not sure how a meeting between Claude and CJ would go. Setting aside that Claude is mute in all his appearances (as I'm assuming that he speaks in your fanfic), CJ had a very unpleasant view of Claude. I'm not sure if he would count Catalina's betrayal / death as "good news" so-to-speak. I suppose there's an interesting "conflict" to be had there in terms of how they would interact with each other 11 years later, to inform CJ that his former crazy "girlfriend(?)" who left him for "that mute asshole" ended up betraying the guy and then he killed her. The words "conflict of emotions" would probably be an apt description. You say that Claude is now apparently helping CJ maintain the Families in Los Santos, but one must ask why would CJ give him any control and why would the Families accept Claude in some kind of leadership position when he's not a part of their gang. (I suppose he could do "contractor" work for them, getting his hands dirty and getting heat off of the Families while they keep their hands clean.)

  Hide contents

That said, the conflict between the Bloods and the Crips (who the Families and Ballas are based off of) had more-or-less wound down quite a bit by 2003, but that depends on if you want to keep your concept in line with real life events or go full on towards the realm of fiction.

 

The idea of Tommy Vercetti having a family does feel weird to me, but then again, my headcannon is that he didn't live to see the new millennium as a result of his lifestyle and possible cocaine addiction, so I'm kind of biased by my own beliefs in that regard. I think my main question is why someone who is a former Forelli member would still be after Tommy (or what is his motive is for suddenly going after Tommy and his family) an entire 17 years after the events of Vice City. (It's not like Tommy exactly had a low-key life to start with, and Sonny knew where he lived anyway.) Is this only the most recent of other previous attempts? I feel like some explanation would be required of the intervening years and what the Forellis did/felt about Tommy during that time frame.

Again, this is your own fanfic so you should do whatever feels right to you - plus I can appreciate a different view than myself. However, I feel like, if the Forellis were to target anyone in 2003, it would probably be Claude, since he killed a number of their people only 2 years prior in service of Salvatore and the Leone crime family.
 

 

Also: As for not having played VCS, I suppose it's not entirely necessary: Victor Vance gets killed before you even control Tommy for the first time, and Lance Vance dies at the end of Vice City, so pretty much everything in VCS gets wrapped up in one way or another ..... unless you plan to include Phil Collins as a character, which is an idea I could 100% get behind!

 

"After the dust settles, the only survivor of the battle is Tactical Phil Collins, who then leaves to finish up the Brother Bear soundtrack for Disney."

I’m not sure if Claude would speak. Maybe just one single word or line, but it’s possible since the guy isn’t clinically mute. He still has groan and pain sounds, I think

[JustFEM]

9 hours ago, JustFEM said:

Oh I did not realize that a Banshee is a two-seater. Thanks

 

Claude would travel around San Andreas I guess, eventually finding CJ in Grove Street (I haven’t finished the entire San Andreas storyline)

 

Uh… there’s no hospital. Dying once equals permanent death

 

Edited February 6, 2024 by JustFEM

[Prasdana21]

How far are you with San Andreas? I don't want to accidentaly give you spoilers (even if I can hide them).

 

I assume Claude would talk in your fan-fic too?