MOTW #226

[RedBaronFromTheUG]

MOTW #226

For rules and guidelines, click here.

 

IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER

Posting reviews/feedback before the participation deadline is strictly NOT allowed. You may post reviews/feedback once voting starts.

 

Theme:

Archeology

 

 

Description of the theme

Uncover the ancient history of human civilization through DYOM, making the player collect an artifact for future study
and / or on field studies of the location / object of interest. Tip: Try to use DYOM# custom other pickup ID 21 (VC tiki)
if you want an interesting artifact for the player to collect and then have further study upon it, to fit into the theme.
Custom object id 1276 (VC Tiki) with DYOM# Tab search on Objects & Effects for a tease of the artifact if you want to.

 

IMPORTANT NOTE: Blatant troll behavior will NOT be tolerated.

 

Entries

 

Stardust101



Eye Of The Jaguar

Jayshizzo



INDIANA JONES - ANCIENT ARTIFACTS

RedBaron



TIA - Pompeii Intricacy

 

Deadlines

Participation: 07 / 13 /  2023 - 18:00 PM (GMT Timezone)

Voting: 07 / 15 / 2023 - 18:00 PM (GMT Timezone)

 

Participation Timer

Voting Timer

 

Credits

AnDReJ98 - Founder & Co-Leader

RithRake24 - Co-Leader (2019-present)

Target13 - Co-Leader (2014, 2018-2019)

Chips237 - Co-Leader (2013)

The Odyssey - Founder of the first MOTW Discussion Thread

@RedBaronFromTheUG - Winner of MOTW #225 and host

 

Edited July 15 by RedBaronFromTheUG
fixing up embedding

[Stardust101]

Hey everyone. Here's my entry: https://dyom.gtagames.nl/show/74669

[jayshizzo]

20 hours ago, Stardust101 said:

Hey everyone. Here's my entry: https://dyom.gtagames.nl/show/74669

I like your consistency and  making of fast missions. You are  either a truly skilled individual or  you have more free time.

[RedBaronFromTheUG]

On 7/8/2023 at 1:05 AM, Stardust101 said:

Hey everyone. Here's my entry: https://dyom.gtagames.nl/show/74669

Thanks for publishing your entry.

Edited July 10 by RedBaronFromTheUG

[jayshizzo]

On 7/9/2023 at 3:44 AM, RedBaronFromTheUG said:

Good mission, i liked it, lots of good aspects, you improved a lot since the last mission, 9 / 10.

I thought you were not supposed to review the mission until voting starts ?

[RedBaronFromTheUG]

11 hours ago, jayshizzo said:

I thought you were not supposed to review the mission until voting starts ?

Oh you're right! Thank you, i fixed my mistake.

Edited July 10 by RedBaronFromTheUG

[jayshizzo]

1 hour ago, RedBaronFromTheUG said:

Oh you're right! Thank you, i fixed my mistake.

how come startdust is not posted on the participant list ?

[RedBaronFromTheUG]

15 minutes ago, jayshizzo said:

how come startdust is not posted on the participant list ?

Oh right, that too, thank you for giving me another heads up, i've not been paying attention to things so much lately, i'm sleeping too much and as a result, i'm getting sloppy, so i'm glad you're helping me rn.

[jayshizzo]

7 hours ago, RedBaronFromTheUG said:

Oh right, that too, thank you for giving me another heads up, i've not been paying attention to things so much lately, i'm sleeping too much and as a result, i'm getting sloppy, so i'm glad you're helping me rn.

making missions is time consuming. i am on a work leave so my missions will coming in like a hot cake.hopefully

[RedBaronFromTheUG]

1 hour ago, jayshizzo said:

making missions is time consuming. i am on a work leave so my missions will coming in like a hot cake.hopefully

I've had to scrap and rework a mission entirely due to one little thing not going my way. (ie. crap rock wall object)
By the way, if you are making an entry, hurry and finish it before the deadline, got it?

Edited July 11 by RedBaronFromTheUG

[jayshizzo]

17 minutes ago, RedBaronFromTheUG said:

I've had to scrap and rework a mission entirely due to one little thing not going my way. (ie. crap rock wall object)
By the way, if you are making an entry, hurry and finish it before the deadline, got it?

sure. I am done with the mission.working on the sound .can you dm me some tips on sound without audio fx

[jayshizzo]

Here is the game Indiana Jones-Ancient Artifacts 

 

 

Edited July 11 by jayshizzo

[RedBaronFromTheUG]

8 hours ago, jayshizzo said:

Here is the game Indiana Jones-Ancient Artifacts 

 

 

Thank you very much for your entry, and wow, it seems your entry is very popular! You have quite the public.

Edited July 11 by RedBaronFromTheUG

[RedBaronFromTheUG]

22 hours ago, jayshizzo said:

sure. I am done with the mission.working on the sound .can you dm me some tips on sound without audio fx

Too late now but i'll still help you with your request.

[RedBaronFromTheUG]

Here's my entry: 



[MOTW #226] - The Italian Archeologists - Pompeii Intricacy

Download + More Info at: https://dyom.gtagames.nl/show/74708

[jayshizzo]

4 hours ago, RedBaronFromTheUG said:

Here's my entry: 



[MOTW #226] - The Italian Archeologists - Pompeii Intricacy

Download + More Info at: https://dyom.gtagames.nl/show/74708

I didnt know that hosts can post their missions too.. the main reason why i didn't bother about the last one  was because it was only one entry. You feel me

[RedBaronFromTheUG]

6 hours ago, jayshizzo said:

I didnt know that hosts can post their missions too.. the main reason why i didn't bother about the last one  was because it was only one entry. You feel me

Hosts are allowed to post missions for a long time, RithRake24 told me after i won MOTW #224.

[RedBaronFromTheUG]

Mission Making Deadline over.

[RedBaronFromTheUG]

I recorded all entries: 
 

 

[jayshizzo]

1 hour ago, RedBaronFromTheUG said:

I recorded all entries: 
 

 

nice. You speak italian?

[RedBaronFromTheUG]

48 minutes ago, jayshizzo said:

nice. You speak italian?

Nah, portuguese. But i do have some sort of italian blood in me, even if small, my surname is Italian. I only put all the dialogue in italian because it's a story set in Italy, Naple.

Edited July 14 by RedBaronFromTheUG

[jayshizzo]

3 hours ago, RedBaronFromTheUG said:

I recorded all entries: 
 

 

 I would have personally prefer you did a review so those who missed a chance of playing  to play  it themselves, also you can tell us what we do right and wrong  in the missions we created. I Still appreciate the effort but can you make the video private and after the votes you make it public thanks.

Edited July 14 by jayshizzo

[RedBaronFromTheUG]

To the request of @jayshizzo, here's a review of all missions:

Eye Of The Jaguar by Stardust101
 

The Good:
- Amazing Story, worldbuilding and characters with their own personalities and unique aspects.
- Excellent abandoned city landscape
- Good usage of Jeep vehicle.
- Good exposition regarding the main artifact to be collected.
- Stellar grammar as always.

The Bad:
- Short yet sweet, it makes you wish for more! I would've liked to have seen more, perhaps going into more abandoned cities to search for more statues like the main one and having to deal with increasingly more natives trying to protect their artifacts or simply rival archeologists trying to take credit and/or kill natives, and we clearly see the protagonist's against killing.

The Nitpicking:
- No nitpicks from me, besides that issue, the mission's phenomenal.

GRADE: 7.5 / 10

Personal Advice: Keep writing, designing the missions and keep improving!

INDIANA JONES:ANCIENT ARTIFACTS by Jayshizzo

The Good:
- Decent Story.

- Good use of AI voices.
- Nice use of varied collectibles.
- Nice enemy placement on the tribesmen section and bandits hangout.
- Nice object placement for the hidden village.
- Exceptional Pickup placement.
- Excellent Soundtrack, felt like something truly out of Indiana Jones.
- Nice use of the jeep vehicle.

The Bad:

- You forgot to introduce the moonshine man and how he wants 5 moonshine bottles before he can be of any help to Jones
- You forgot to explain why would he want 5 moonshine before talking to Jones.
- The Entire mission became a fetch quest due to moonshine man! Indiana Jones would've simply figured the bandits's location on his own by asking the towns folk. Indiana Jones is not an errand boy for criminals, he fights criminals on his way.
- The army soldiers in the hangar warehouse have inconsistent behavior, 99% of them run straight into Jones and the 1% hide out protecting the hangar, only half or 1/4 of the soldiers should leave the hangar, the rest should protect the darned thing.
- Several Attack Direct Shotgunners is a crime to humanity.
- Why would Indiana Jones attack a Military Base just to steal a plane that he could've easily discreetly robbed in an civilian airport without attracting too much attention.
- 200 Health seems like a little too much and makes the mission far too easy.
- "I would have to retrieve the artifact, i would have not to harm the tribesmen" Indiana Jones wasn't ordered to get the artifacts, he looks like he's orchestrating it himself, so, the correct should be "I WILL retrieve the artifact, but i shouldn't harm the tribesmen" that sort of speech pattern sounds like something out of elementary grade, that's the only bad issue with the dialogue.

The Nitpicking:
- "Artificacts" WHAT?! Other than that, your grammar improved drastically, i'm impressed!

- The placement of some bandits in the bar region could've been less linear, they're all in a straight line, apart from 1 or 2 bad guys there, maybe you could've made some more to the diagonal / front / back to have some variety.
- Same thing with the Hangar Warehouse bad guys, the other military men in the airport, have a placement that looks adequate, in the control room and the garage.
- The moonshine man, has a weird extremely LQ voice, more so than Jones, but other than that, it was alright.

GRADE: 8 / 10

Personal Advice: Keep writing, designing the missions and keep improving! Check the English Dictionary every once in a while too, you're getting there, i'm proud of your accomplishments!

Reviews over. Now for the DNA of my mission...

The DNA of TIA - Pompeii Intricacy by RedBaron

Not so Fun Fact:

This mission would've been something else entirely, a Tomb Raider mission, with a new interior (Cavern with Tribe houses from LV desert) and exterior locations (Entire Outdoor Location secluded from the outside world), but what made me scrap the mission entirely was the exterior of the mission, in which the wall objects had openings on the sides which made my job as a DYOM Designer difficult, causing me to lose all motivation of choosing another location and scrapping the mission entirely.

Here are some screenshots: 







(Yes it was inside mt. chiliad)




Yeah, it was a very sad day, but! There would be no TIA - PI without Tomb Raider: And The Great Treasure of Korak. The only remains of this mission on the new version, are the RXtech company and it's bad men on TIA.

THE ITALIAN ARCHEOLOGISTS, DETAILED BEHIND THE SCENES OF SUCH A MISSION



MISSION GAMEPLAY:

I used the linear / semi-open mission structure where you can explore the map and find collectibles (Health, Armor, Guns) whilst completing the mission objectives. This mission pushes the most limits possible before reaching a barrier of limitations, as demonstrated by the amount of things i put into my mission to make it as special and unique as possible: 



MISSION STORY:

I mixed some real and fictional events into each other, to make an unique storyline that could potentially take place in the Tomb Raider: Core Design universe as implied by the mention and inclusion of the RXtech badguys. All the characters in the cast are fictional, but the exposition on the journals scattered around Pompeii detail what truly happened in reality.

MISSION PROPS / LOCATION:

I chose a desert because it resembles the stoney-like, ash-like atmosphere of Pompeii with the clear skies and abandoned locations. There was an attempt to recreate Pompeii inside the desert, with a very grandeour, fallen castle walls and wide-spread amount of houses, abandoned rundown and destroyed church and a graveyard. I included objects in the final location to ease the protection of the actor (Don't worry, this escort is so easy, you only have to worry about yourself, your comrades will not only attempt to protect the actor in question but also try to destroy your enemies too) and your self-defense assasinations before the sequence can be completed. I also included a 'safehouse' / workplace where the MC can sleep once and get health, armor and a 9mm for self-defense, as well as the iconic Jeep, issue of the archeology company due to rival company attacks and to make travelling between Pompeii and the nearby small town of Naple easier. The most favorite thing i did with the prop placement, was the ash-filled statues of Pompeii, a reminder of the gruesome death the roman folks experienced during their last living-breathing moments.

MISSION ACTORS:

You can see people working on the archeology project on the hideout, a man making food (he even makes your breakfast), some guy looking out the window, your friend Aldo, managing the place and keeping everything in check. Whilst in Pompeii, dangerous people lurk around, trying to sabotage your friend, Aldo's Excavation / Artifact Discovery company. Besides those unfriendly characters, you can find your colleague, Luigi, there, managing the workplace of Pompeii through his Cabin, alongside his unknown veteran friend, who helps him write down the Journal findings / Common Knowledge, there's also some more people in Town, either translating latin prompts or just admnistering / admiring the enviroment. The shady characters return in the final showdown where you protect yourself from the bad guys and allow such a discovery of another artifact without the bad guys griping their dirty hands on it.

MISSION PICKUPS:

The ultimate incentive for Exploration, these bad boys will give you quite the starting line in the final conflict, grab anything you can find that can be of aid!

MISSION SOUNDS:

Great work was put into making the most polished, detailed and satisfying experience, possible! The characters talk, express themselves through AI voices of real people. The soundtrack takes what represents Italy and their people and puts it into an amazing harmonious combination, with the best audio mixing and compression available, allowing for a high quality experience.

FINAL NOTES:

Please, play my mission or watch it's gameplay if you can't do anything. Also don't forget to vote on your favorite entry as well, have a nice day, reader.

Edited July 14 by RedBaronFromTheUG

[jayshizzo]

5 hours ago, RedBaronFromTheUG said:

To the request of @jayshizzo, here's a review of all missions:

Eye Of The Jaguar by Stardust101
 

The Good:
- Amazing Story, worldbuilding and characters with their own personalities and unique aspects.
- Excellent abandoned city landscape
- Good usage of Jeep vehicle.
- Good exposition regarding the main artifact to be collected.
- Stellar grammar as always.

The Bad:
- Short yet sweet, it makes you wish for more! I would've liked to have seen more, perhaps going into more abandoned cities to search for more statues like the main one and having to deal with increasingly more natives trying to protect their artifacts or simply rival archeologists trying to take credit and/or kill natives, and we clearly see the protagonist's against killing.

The Nitpicking:
- No nitpicks from me, besides that issue, the mission's phenomenal.

GRADE: 7.5 / 10

Personal Advice: Keep writing, designing the missions and keep improving!

INDIANA JONES:ANCIENT ARTIFACTS by Jayshizzo

The Good:
- Decent Story.

- Good use of AI voices.
- Nice use of varied collectibles.
- Nice enemy placement on the tribesmen section and bandits hangout.
- Nice object placement for the hidden village.
- Exceptional Pickup placement.
- Excellent Soundtrack, felt like something truly out of Indiana Jones.
- Nice use of the jeep vehicle.

The Bad:

- You forgot to introduce the moonshine man and how he wants 5 moonshine bottles before he can be of any help to Jones
- You forgot to explain why would he want 5 moonshine before talking to Jones.
- The Entire mission became a fetch quest due to moonshine man! Indiana Jones would've simply figured the bandits's location on his own by asking the towns folk. Indiana Jones is not an errand boy for criminals, he fights criminals on his way.
- The army soldiers in the hangar warehouse have inconsistent behavior, 99% of them run straight into Jones and the 1% hide out protecting the hangar, only half or 1/4 of the soldiers should leave the hangar, the rest should protect the darned thing.
- Several Attack Direct Shotgunners is a crime to humanity.
- Why would Indiana Jones attack a Military Base just to steal a plane that he could've easily discreetly robbed in an civilian airport without attracting too much attention.
- 200 Health seems like a little too much and makes the mission far too easy.
- "I would have to retrieve the artifact, i would have not to harm the tribesmen" Indiana Jones wasn't ordered to get the artifacts, he looks like he's orchestrating it himself, so, the correct should be "I WILL retrieve the artifact, but i shouldn't harm the tribesmen" that sort of speech pattern sounds like something out of elementary grade, that's the only bad issue with the dialogue.

The Nitpicking:
- "Artificacts" WHAT?! Other than that, your grammar improved drastically, i'm impressed!
- The placement of some bandits in the bar region could've been less linear, they're all in a straight line, apart from 1 or 2 bad guys there, maybe you could've made some more to the diagonal / front / back to have some variety.
- Same thing with the Hangar Warehouse bad guys, the other military men in the airport, have a placement that looks adequate, in the control room and the garage.
- The moonshine man, has a weird extremely LQ voice, more so than Jones, but other than that, it was alright.

GRADE: 8 / 10

Personal Advice: Keep writing, designing the missions and keep improving! Check the English Dictionary every once in a while too, you're getting there, i'm proud of your accomplishments!

Reviews over. Now for the DNA of my mission...

The DNA of TIA - Pompeii Intricacy by RedBaron

Not so Fun Fact:

This mission would've been something else entirely, a Tomb Raider mission, with a new interior (Cavern with Tribe houses from LV desert) and exterior locations (Entire Outdoor Location secluded from the outside world), but what made me scrap the mission entirely was the exterior of the mission, in which the wall objects had openings on the sides which made my job as a DYOM Designer difficult, causing me to lose all motivation of choosing another location and scrapping the mission entirely.

Here are some screenshots: 







(Yes it was inside mt. chiliad)




Yeah, it was a very sad day, but! There would be no TIA - PI without Tomb Raider: And The Great Treasure of Korak. The only remains of this mission on the new version, are the RXtech company and it's bad men on TIA.

THE ITALIAN ARCHEOLOGISTS, DETAILED BEHIND THE SCENES OF SUCH A MISSION



MISSION GAMEPLAY:

I used the linear / semi-open mission structure where you can explore the map and find collectibles (Health, Armor, Guns) whilst completing the mission objectives. This mission pushes the most limits possible before reaching a barrier of limitations, as demonstrated by the amount of things i put into my mission to make it as special and unique as possible: 



MISSION STORY:

I mixed some real and fictional events into each other, to make an unique storyline that could potentially take place in the Tomb Raider: Core Design universe as implied by the mention and inclusion of the RXtech badguys. All the characters in the cast are fictional, but the exposition on the journals scattered around Pompeii detail what truly happened in reality.

MISSION PROPS / LOCATION:

I chose a desert because it resembles the stoney-like, ash-like atmosphere of Pompeii with the clear skies and abandoned locations. There was an attempt to recreate Pompeii inside the desert, with a very grandeour, fallen castle walls and wide-spread amount of houses, abandoned rundown and destroyed church and a graveyard. I included objects in the final location to ease the protection of the actor (Don't worry, this escort is so easy, you only have to worry about yourself, your comrades will not only attempt to protect the actor in question but also try to destroy your enemies too) and your self-defense assasinations before the sequence can be completed. I also included a 'safehouse' / workplace where the MC can sleep once and get health, armor and a 9mm for self-defense, as well as the iconic Jeep, issue of the archeology company due to rival company attacks and to make travelling between Pompeii and the nearby small town of Naple easier. The most favorite thing i did with the prop placement, was the ash-filled statues of Pompeii, a reminder of the gruesome death the roman folks experienced during their last living-breathing moments.

MISSION ACTORS:

You can see people working on the archeology project on the hideout, a man making food (he even makes your breakfast), some guy looking out the window, your friend Aldo, managing the place and keeping everything in check. Whilst in Pompeii, dangerous people lurk around, trying to sabotage your friend, Aldo's Excavation / Artifact Discovery company. Besides those unfriendly characters, you can find your colleague, Luigi, there, managing the workplace of Pompeii through his Cabin, alongside his unknown veteran friend, who helps him write down the Journal findings / Common Knowledge, there's also some more people in Town, either translating latin prompts or just admnistering / admiring the enviroment. The shady characters return in the final showdown where you protect yourself from the bad guys and allow such a discovery of another artifact without the bad guys griping their dirty hands on it.

MISSION PICKUPS:

The ultimate incentive for Exploration, these bad boys will give you quite the starting line in the final conflict, grab anything you can find that can be of aid!

MISSION SOUNDS:

Great work was put into making the most polished, detailed and satisfying experience, possible! The characters talk, express themselves through AI voices of real people. The soundtrack takes what represents Italy and their people and puts it into an amazing harmonious combination, with the best audio mixing and compression available, allowing for a high quality experience.

FINAL NOTES:

Please, play my mission or watch it's gameplay if you can't do anything. Also don't forget to vote on your favorite entry as well, have a nice day, reader.

great review. 

[jayshizzo]

It looks like if I put in more effort, I get only one vote. if I put in less effort , I get one vote.  so here is what we will do. I don't need your votes anymore. You can keep them. All I need is a review. I would participate when I feel like it and when I have the time. I will not kill my time,energy and effort  just to get mediocre votes. Thank you.

Edited July 15 by jayshizzo

[RithRake24]

Congratulations to @RedBaronFromTheUG for winning MOTW #226! On a roll here!

 

Spoiler

A suggestion for next time: make the mission thumbnails smaller and of the same width so that they don't clutter up the post. I would've fixed this up myself but I was away from home due to a close family member having a surgery.

 

[RedBaronFromTheUG]

6 minutes ago, RithRake24 said:

Congratulations to @RedBaronFromTheUG for winning MOTW #226! On a roll here!

 

  Hide contents

A suggestion for next time: make the mission thumbnails smaller and of the same width so that they don't clutter up the post. I would've fixed this up myself but I was away from home due to a close family member having a surgery.

 

Ok i will take the suggestion in mind, thanks for giving me advice!