Grand Theft Auto III Funny Quotes Thread

[Hell No..]

Hello there, ive seen a few topics on this but they seemed to not last long, but hopefully with this new topic we will try and get them all. (doubt it though. lol)

Ill start you all off. Here we go.

1. "Im getting to old for this"
2. "Here's my buisness card"
3. "Ive been revived 240 times"
4. "I need some overtime"
5. "Been there, done that"
6. "Scumbag"
7. "I smell great"
8. "You like my shoes?"
9. "The sea, it's in my blood"
10. "$5 to heaven"
11. "$25 to heaven Rambo"
12. "Arrrrr she blows"
13. "You damn pussy"
14. "My names Brad, but i guess you knew that"
15. "Up at six, home by nine"
16. "I dont like you"
17. "Whats a bro got to do?"
18. "Hyka damn"
19. "Never known that"
20. "My back is killing me"
21. "I know how to clean that"
22. "This tie was really expensive"
23. "Hey what time is it?"
24. "Hitting ladies now are we?"
25. "I aint scared of you"
26. "What are you doing?"
27. "You smell horribe"
28. "Ill fight you if i have to"
29. "Im getting my boyfriend"
30. "I wanna"
31. "Oh lord"
32. "Im just big boned"
33. "I wanna eat soon"
34. "Help"
35. "Thats nasty"
36. "Im getting to old for this"
37. "Back on land"
38. "Whats up?"
39. "You should have changed your optition"
40. "The sea, she calls me"
41. "Im so happy i could sh*t"
42. "That guys a lunatic"
43. "My dog ate my homework"
44. "I bet the diners open"
45. "That guys a maniac"
46. "You hate fat people dont you"
47. "What was that?"
48. "Hey ill eat you crusts"
49. "Oh sh*t i broke a nail"
50 ."Hey baby"
51. "Like dude"
52. "Lets get out of here"
53. "Dude real heavy"
54. "Be careful"
55. "I got a class"
56. "Even better down south"
57. "Im very busy"
58. "Your revulting"
59. "I got really high grades"
60. "She likes me"
61. "Oh look at me im dripping"
62. "You got a diet soda?"
63. "I got to hand in my assignment"
64. "Yep ive been drinking again"
65. "I can bearly move"
66. "Im gonna start jogging soon"
67. "I just love the cocktails"
68. "Do i look fat in this?"
69. "Someone call 911"
70. "Jesus"
71. "You got any bright ideas what to say?"
72. "I got to go on vacation"
73. "He nearly knocked me over"
74. "What kind of country is this?"
75. "No way hosay"
76. "Hi yall"
77. "Howdy"
78. "Come on you cocks"
79. "Jackass"
80. "Hey mister im sorry"
81. "She likes me"
82. "You see that?"
83. "No dude"
84. "What are you nuts?"
85. "I cant believe this is happening."
86. "Get out of here"
87. "Come on honey"
88. "Cheep b***ards"
89. "What no tip?"
90. "Im gonna get ya"
91. "Damn citizens"
92. "It's your funeral"
93. "Im gonna eat ya"
94. "Call the YMCA"
95. "You can sail the seven seas"
96. "Young man"
97. "I got kids azzhole"
98. "In the navy"
99. "Dip sh*t"
100. "I got an itch"
101. "Were going to Aruba"
102. "Thats the taste of corn on the cob"
103. "You aint no gentlemen"
104. "Shake it girlfriend"
105. "Oh it's you again"
106. "He's no good"
107. "I need a cigarette"
108. "Holy millenium dome"
109. "Get your hands off me arse"
110. "Honestly im an englishman"
111. "Scuse me mustache"
112. "I hate cafeteria food"
113. "Come here honey"
114. "You bas*ard"
115. "Not me"
116. "What are you doing?"
117. "Forget About it punk"
118. "You play cards?"
119. "Wheres my tools?"
120. "Hell No"
121. "Are you on spank?"
122. "Do you feel the need to pick on sissies?"
123. "Im sorry"
124. "Oh do it"
125. "Cant you read?"
126. "Drive carefully"
127. "Get your hands off me"
128. "Just relax"
129. "Thats cool.thats cool,easy"
130. "Look im extreamly busy"
131. "Please"
132. "Easy there partner"
133. "Please dont kill me"
134. "Im gay"
135. "You are a no good physco"
136. "Oh please no"
137. "Take it easy pal"
138. "Come on,put it down"
139. "Oh no"
140. "Dont touch my face"
141. "God no"
142. "I smell of piss"
143. "I used to be a model"
144. "Chill out"
145. "Take it easy"
146. "Sh*t he's got a gun"
147. "This city sucks"
148. "Hey I know you"
149. "Hey I'm in IT"
150. "You P**** you hit me"
151. "Down, down Christ no"
152. "Take it easy"
153. "Hey I'm really sorry"
154. "Hey I'm a designer"
155. "I'm going to get you"
156. "Don't hit me"
157. "It's not worth it"
158. "I've got a family"
159. "Hey cool, cool"
160. "Please not me"
161. "Picking on all the women now"
162. "Oh no, hell no"
163. "Who are you"
164. "I'm too young to die"
165. "You wanna die"
166. "Someone looking to get dusted"
167. "Are you for real"
168. "You messing with the crew"
169. "Yeah baby"
170. "I do kick boxing"
171. "Do you know who I am"
172. "Show me the money"
173. "Loser"
174. "Azzhole"
175. "Buy low sell high"
176. "O.K. then"
177. "Anytime any place"
178. "Kiss your ass goodbye"
179. "Please don't hurt me I'm important"
180. "You're mine"
181. "Better recgonise"
182. "You want some of this"
183. "You punch bag"
184. "I'm gonna rip you up"
185. "You wanna death wish"
186. "You got a name?"
187. "You don't want trouble"
188. "What she's my cousin"
189. "I swear I thought she was my second cousin"
190. "I drill your ass"
191. "Only a game"
192. "It's your funeral"
193. "Want a party?"
194. "I'll roast you"
195. "You gotta be kidding"
196. "You want some of this"
197. "Your Momma's so fat"
198. "b*tch you don't want this"
199. "Kiss my ass"
200. "Do you wanna know something"
201. "There he goes take him down"
202. "Stop now"
203. "Stop right there"
204. "I'm gonna kill you"
205. "There he goes get a lid on him"
206. "There he is"
207. "Get that guy"
208. "Move it"
209. "Move it out of here"
210. "This is the army"
211. "I love this job"
212. "Prepare to die"
213. "Coming through"
214. "Roadkill"
215. "You're a freaking hazard"
216. "P*** off*
217. "Get lost"
218. "Watch the cab punk"
219. "Get off of the road"
220. "Hey my cab"
221. "Hurry up"
222. "Come on get a move on"
223. "I got to get to the hospital"
224. "Squeal like a pig"
225. "It's my car idiot"
226. "Pathetic"
227. "I kill you"
228. "Hey stop"
229. "Police"
230. "We will open fire"
231. "You are risking you life"
232. "This is the LCPD"
233. "Take him out"
234. "Take him down"
235. "Get that guy"
236. "Alright drop down"
237. "Get him"
238. "Stop"
239. "Police department"
240. "This is the Police stop"
241. "I prefer a moving target"
242. "You wanna get some help man"
243. "This is the FBI"
244. "Get me another doughnut I'm hungry"
245. "Uneducated moron"
246. "Give him CPR"
247. "In all my years"
248. "I aint never seen that before"
249. "Watch where you're going azzhole"
250. "Drive slower"
251. "You wanna fight"
252. "Dead ahead"
253. "He took my car"
254. "You skinny bum"
255. "I'm gonna get a gun"
256. "I'm late for a meeting"
257. "I think there's a sale at the mall"
258. "Shop, Shop, Shop"
259. "This is what I call a proper shore leave"
260. "Baby I look so good"
261. "Anymore miracles and I'll be a saint"
262. "Get in the back ahhh"
263. "You p***k get off my cab"
264. "I can't believe this is happening"
265. "You are risking your life"
267. "They don't speak Chinese"
268. "Watch the wheels dringo"
269. "Watch the frame"
270. "You pimping bi*ch"
271. "My name's Charlie"
272. "Damn kids got no respect"
273. "Leave me along"
274. "I'm a working lady"
275. "I'm a working girl idiot"
276. "I need my face plucked"
277. "I need a facial"
278. "That's a company car"
279. "Tht's my boyfriend's car"
280. "I'm warning you"
281. "I just got that cleaned"
282. "Just chilling smoking"
283. "Just like old times"
284. "Oye you big trouble"
285. "Wo easy on the gas"
286. "Get his licence"
287. "I got your number"
288. "Screw you"
289. "Who the hell are you talking to"
290. "Come on baby"
291. "Runs in the family"
292. "Don't you drive"
293. "Move it or I'll flatten you"
294. "You are the one"
295. "That's my wheels"
296. "Keep it, it's sh*t"
297. "Dame Police"
298. "Ha ha"
299. "I'm great did you know that"
300. "I'm a beautician"
301. "Hey you see my knee that's not my knee"
302. "Oh it's you again"
303. "That guy almost hit me"
304. "Come here honey"
305. "Feeling abit hungry"
306. "How are you"
307. "Hey slow down"
308. "Hey you dead dringo"
309. "You looking for business"
310. "You having fun over there"
311. "Man overboard"
312. "Where am I"
313. "There's no need to feel down"
314. "Out of my way you fool"
315. "You got any bright ideas what to say"
316. 'You blind"
317. "It's no problem to kill you'
318. "Check out the zeppelin"
319. "What are you doing fella?"
320. "For gods sake"
321. "I am a honest women"
322. "He's on fire"
323. "You messing with the uni?"
324. "I wrecon it'll be alright"
325. "Talk to the hand"
326. "Useless driver"
327. "It's embarrasing"
328. "Oh my god, what if you hit me"
329. "Leave me alone animal"
330. "Oh it's you again"
331. "I got nothing for yee"
332. "Looking for an ass wooping?"
334. "Ive got an itch"
335. "Thats about usual"
336. "This is serious"
337. "1,2,3,4"
338. "Physco, Physco"
339. "You are an old goon"
340. "La,La,La"
341. "So screw you"
342. "Forgive me"
342. "Faster,Faster"
343. "Dont do it"
344. "It's not worth it"
345. "Get out of the car"
346. "What are you looking at?"
347. "It's not worth it"
348. "What are you looking at?"
349. "Thats so lat season"
350. "Hey look, but dont touch"
351. "Im gonna run you out"
352. "Call in the camera crew"
353. "My damn car"
354. "Im gonna become big"
355. "What are you wearing?"
356. "You looking for troublr dringo?"
357. "I dont deserve this"
358. "Oh my car"
359. "Hole"
360. "Hey man relax"
361. "Dont kill me"
362. "What are you doing fella?"
363. "Your one crazy bi*ch"
364. "Dont shoot you daddy baby"
365. "Come on just one more trick"
366. "Oh mighty fine"
367. "You take my money"
368. "Get out of my face mister"
369. "I got just the thing for you"
370. "You need some company"
371. "Dont move a muscle"
372. "Ill show you driving"
373. "You about to pay sucker"
374. "Asta lavista baby"
375. "Oh no not my wheels"
376. "I warn you"
377. "Put it down"
378. "Shift it pri*k"
379. "Shure,sure take it"
380. "Give me your coat"
381. "Oh you smell"
382. "I need a bath"
383. "This is a war"
384. "Kill him"
385. "Take the enemy down"
386. "Shoot him,Shoot him"
387. "Fire"
388. "Cover me"
389. "This is the army"
390. "Take him to the peir"
391. "Oh your funny"
392. "We got him"
393. "A reason"
394. "Make him dissapear"
395. "What are you nuts,nuts"
396. "Lend us you coat"
397. "Got a wee bit of change"
398. "Pick up a load of manure"
399. "Always shoveling"
400. "Just about the usual"
401. "Oh im sweating allover"
402. "Book him"
403. "Oyee stop police"
404. "This is the police, stop"
405. "Hotdogs"
406. "Panzy"
407. "You drive like a pussy"
408 "You better call your momma"
409. "You about to get rolled on"
410. "Your real smart"
411. "What the didleo"
412. "Your going down"
413. "I dnt know where i am and im hungry"
414. "You got any doughnuts?"
415. "Im late for a meeting"
416. "Your rubbish"
417. "You cant drive atall"
418. "Get out of the way"
419. "Orrrr yo pesent"
420. "Out of the way"
421. "Hoolagen"
422. "Dangerous azzhole"
423. "Does everybody like this?"
424. "You nutter"
425. "Out of the way this is an emergency"
426. "Ok over here"
427. "I got a better car than you"
428. "Keep your eyes on the road"
429. "Hey look but dont touch"
430. "We got a real live one boys"
431. "Better call 911"
432. "You drive like sh*t"
433. "Ok ok we make deal"
434. "How much you pay?"
435. "Not today"
436. "Hey you cant do that"
437. "My mothers my sister"
438."I don't need to see identification, you look thrustworthy"
438."all i wanna do is knock boots"
439."Guns dont kill people, people kill people."
440."Hey i like gold, not lead."
441." Hey! Get cha eyes checked!"
442."I see blood in my rear-view mirror!"
443."I kill you"
444."Punk ass b*tch"
445."push it to the limit".
446."Im going to kill you!"
447."You cant say that"
448."I'm hungry and I don't know where I am!"
449."I don't need to see identification, you look thrustworthy"
450."Just chilin, smoking"
451."Just like old times"
452."There's a Place You can go"
453."Frikin Landlover"
454."Get out of may face"
455."Im gonna eat ya"
456."You looking for an ass whooping?"
457."You aint from around here are you?"
458."You got a death wish?"
459."Its your funeral"
460."Wheres my damn tools?"
461."Come on pretty boy"
462."Ill roast you"
463."Got any doughnuts?"
464."I cant run in these"
465."Rush rush to the ya-yo"
456."Your just another sorry ass*
457."Bitch you dont want this"
458."You kidding me?"
459."What you up to?"
460."Your mental"
461."Im homeless"
462."We love LC cockrals"
463."Are you a punchbag?"
464."Any time any place"
465."I lived out my pention"
466."Freakin maniac"
467."Skinny punk"
468."Mind my car"
469."Drive slower"
470."Just say arr"
471."Get going"
472."You are nuts"
473."You wanna fight?"
474."Not me"
475."Get your hands off me"
476."Damn you"
477."You wanna learn some respect"
478."Picking on old women now?"
479."Please! im a male nurse"
480."For god sakes"
481."Leave me alone"
482."Get off me"
483."I aint scared of you"
484."Im gonna get a gun"
485."I aint responsible"
486."I'm scared, gringo!"
487."You want the chainsaw, gringo"
487."Eh gringo"
488."I kill you, gringo"
489."Never mess with the best"
490."Somebody call a medic"
491."Tell my wife I love her"
492."Pain is my middle name"
493."Get off the road"
494."Ai slow down"
495."You smell horrible"
496."The tacky sack"
497."For f*ck sake"
498."For god sake"
499."Been bruised"
500."I'll get ya get ya"
501."Fire at will"
502."Get in the back, ahhhh!
503."Ok ok, we make deal!"
504."I see pain in your future".
505."You feel lucky punk?".
506."I kill you, dragon breath"
507."Im Blind"
508."I cant feel my legs"
509."Ive just had my hair done"
510."Erase him"
511."This is what i joined up for"
512."I wanna kill him"
513."I see him, take cover"
514."We got a real live one boys"
515."Im glad i joined the military"
516."Do we get medals for this?"
517."Hell man, this is action!"
518."Follow me, lets kills this bastard"
519."Engage and destroy"
520."Hey you man,big trouble"
521."Licky licky rude boy"
522."What you want stressing about"
523."He's all oily man"
524."You a dead boy now"
525."One love rasta man"
526."One love to the beat man"
527."Here ya come now"
528."Big up da Liberty boyz!"
529."Hey hot stepper"
530."Dick-wad"
531."For real"
532."Picking on old women now"
533."I'm hot and you're not
534."I got friends, wiseguy!"
535."Watch my implants!"
536."I ain't b*tchin yo"
537."Watch the shopping bags azzhole!"
538."Mother of gods!"
539."Get me outta here!"
540."Yer messin' with the union..."
541."Lets hackysack"
542."Im 62 years old dammit!"
543."Jesus, get out of my way"
544."Whats that noise?"
545."Need's more... mozzarella!"
546."My money, my problem"
547."How much you pay?"
548."We make deal, we make deal"
549."It's all fresh"
550."You drive like azzhole!"
551."You wanna get dead?"
552."Let's color"
553."Oh so close!!"
554."Thats my Job!"
555."Aaaah hes killing everybody!"
556:"Learn to Drive"
557:"I can't believe this is happening"
558:"Watch it, Asshole"
559."I'm going to Aruba"
560."Come here an' sit on ma' knee!"
561."You call that a pistola?"
562."Oh ese no!"
563."You crazy muchacho!"
564."hmm.. chiquita"
565."Hasta la vista!!!....."
566."Lookin for love baby?"
567."No way holmes!"
568."You know the name , u know the face!"
569."Hasta la vista baby"
570."You get the wrong way holmes!"
571."What you think ur doing!?"
580."You are gonna pay for that! "
581."Eh amigo q pasa?"
582."I'll never forget ma' familia"
583."Trouble ahea"
584."...Animals!!!"
585."Mamma Mia"
586."Animal why you fool!"
587." I'm Hot and your not haha"
588."Run in the family"
589."Leave me alone"
590."Where's my damn tools?"
591."I'm an old lady for christ sakes"
592."Don't you have any respect for your elders?"

If you ever need/want to put these elsewhere, please either ask me first, or just give credit. Thanks.



Please Note: There may be some duplicates in Sayings, this is only because more than one person says them.

[Lawley]

"Thats a taste of corn on the cob"

 

cool u musta put a lotta effort in

 

it deserves a pin

[Lawley]

sorry for the sh*tty duoble post blame my dad

 

 

[stingergta]

i agree with lawley that one you put alot of affort into that how long did it take you to do it all.

[Hell No..]

List updated.

 

It took me about 3 quarters of an hour.

 

 

[Icarus]

How could you forget this one:

 

"My mother's my sister!"

 

Also a well known mod here at the forums

[Mr. Wongs]

Bah. What's the bloody point of starting an identical topic?

[Hell No..]

How could you forget this one:

 

"My mother's my sister!"

 

Also a well known mod here at the forums

I havent put that one in yet.

 

I still got 346 "sayings" to add.  

[Lawley]

whoa uve put a lot of hard work in to this cool

and the answer is yes it deserves a pin

definately

[Hell No..]

Could this be pinned? pleaseeeee.

[DJDeez]

Will someone please listen to all thousands of .wav files on the play disc and write them down lol. Hehe, nice list Hell no...

 

Do you have this one already, from the guy inside ammu-nation:

 

I don't need to see identification, you look thrustworthy.

 

I made some topic about cop sayings a while ago with THUG77, I don't know if you got them all yet, there are quite some you know.

[Hell No..]

Thankyou, i did not have that one.

 

List updated.  

[BenMillard]

Lots of those are wrong.  Such as:

"There he is, get a LID on him!"

 

That should be "LIGHT" why would they want to put a lid on you?

[dizzy_gopher]

98. "In the Navy."

64. "Yup. I've been drinkin' again."

 

Yah! My favorite sayings!

 

Good Job. Someone was bored!

[Hell No..]

Get a LIGHT on him.  

 

Get a LID on him.  

 

Sorry but i would have to disagree with you there.

 

I heard the cop say it.

 

What do you think people?

[Prodigy.]

Can someone say...Too much time on hands?

[Hell No..]

I never sat there and did them all.

 

I did it all over 3 days.

[DJDeez]

Have you ever listened to FBI guys or army people, they say pretty funny things sometimes too. I don't remember exactly what they usually say, but if you want them on yer list, just get some stars, lure a tank into the portland hideout area, grab the bribes, save, come out and listen to what they gotta say. Same can be done with FBI people.

 

[Hell No..]

Thanks i will try that.  

[GTA3Rockstar]

This isn't GTA3, but GTA2...

 

"Rockie, Talkie, T|tt|e Ockie, T|tt|e Ockie. Tastes like suckie...

Anyone remember that saying in GTA2

[weezer]

Number 1 and 36 are the same. I like the parametics and how they sing. lol  

[Hell No..]

The only reason thier there twice is because that saying comes from 2 different people.

[Takuan]

 

Great topic! Maybe this is a newbie question, but I was driving around in a copcar last might, and I heard chattering over the radio... (not in a mission btw). Has anyone been able to identify what is said there?

[Hell No..]

It's the cops. speaking over the radio.

[-Gnobe-]

He means can anyone translate it, Well if its hard to listen to what they are saying then your not supposed to hear them then, just some rambling to make it seem a bit more realistic, but the ones in Gta Vice crack me up    

[Hell No..]

It seems that Uno Carb's post didnt get posted,wonder what he said.  

 

come on is anyone interested?

 

 

[Lawley]

 

uve added tonnes more since i last looked keep it up

[renatoe]

WOW!  

That's a great job, pin!

 

My favourite saying in "GTA 3" is and forever will be..."Leave me alone...animals!"

[eyerer]

some gangster hoe

"all i wanna do is knock boots"

[Hell No..]

Thanks eyerer i will add that to the list.