Zero's missions do not belong in the series.

[Grotti Vigilante]

When people complain about Zero's missions in GTA San Andreas, it usually relates to the difficulty of them, most notably Supply Lines which was so notoriously difficult in the original PlayStation 2 release that it had to be patched so the fuel tank was more forgiving and less likely to run dry on you. But on this occasion I want to make the case that Zero's missions, regardless of their difficulty, are bad missions simply because they do not belong in the Grand Theft Auto series.

 

First thing's first let's go over the story of Zero's missions. As children, Zero won first-prize in a science fair which triggered a rivalry that persisted well into adulthood. Upon returning to San Fierro his rival launches a full scale assault on Zero's store using RC planes, then you use your own RC plane to destroy some of his delivery vans, and then it all finally culminates in a battle against RC tanks while you help an RC car get across a small set. Now let me tell you, if you said Sheldon instead of Zero and Kripke instead of Berkley, then I think you could genuinely fool people into believing this was an episode of The Big Bang Theory. You could not convince me that two nerds fighting with toy vehicles was ever a mission in a GTA game. But alas, San Andreas not only has you do this should you seek to complete the game fully, it has you doing so unironically and with full expectations that you take it seriously, and I genuinely wonder what went through the minds of the writers when they decided that these would be in a GTA game.

 

Yes, RC missions are not new to the series, because previously you had Demolition Man and Bombs Away! in Vice City. However, in both these situations, they were done for purely criminal purposes, the former mission being part of a corrupt real estate scheme, and the latter mission as part of a gang war where you are basically blowing up rival gangsters. In San Andreas though the worst thing you do is commit criminal damage with toys against innocent couriers, and that in itself is again just part of the story of childhood rivals who Rockstar somehow treat as seriously as the likes of Cesar Vialpando, the leader of a Hispanic street gang, Wu Zi Mu, the leader of the Mountain Cloud Boy Triads, Catalina, a crazy psychopathic robber and murderer, Frank Tenpenny, a corrupt police officer, and many other characters. Even Big Smoke who is huge meme material was a deadly character who became a drug lord corrupted by power and money. Just looking at the whole cast of characters you can easily single Zero as the odd one out.

 

And to be honest, I would be fine with that if the game actually treated him that way. If CJ was ever outspoken about how stupid the whole thing was and was only doing it as a favour for a friend, it would probably be fine. But instead CJ just goes along with it as if it is just another job for him. I know he just bought the property and wants to protect his interest, but it doesn't take away from the nature of the missions and the underlying subplot within them. But not only is Zero not the type who should be taken seriously, in a game like GTA he is the sort of character who would actively get bullied, because despite treating his story very seriously, the game still treats him like a pathetic little dweeb, yet everyone seems to view him as an equal when we all know that he isn't.

 

But that said, I'm always open to discussions, so I'd like to know what you all think. Do you agree with my points? Do you maybe even have anything to add? Or perhaps you disagree, in which case I would be very interested to hear why as long as we can all have a civil discussion about things. Leave your thoughts below!