Unwritten* rules of GTA Online

[Gridl0k]

Sending a mugger is never not funny

[Valiant ENT CEO]

Rule #427

 

Only kick players from your mission based off usernames/skins. Not rank.

 

 

[theguy1998]

Playing heists with randoms is never a good idea.

[Marciliojunior01]

If you detect a gta+ user on your lobby you automatically turn off hsw uogrades 

[Spider-Vice]

You must punch Felipe every time you visit the Diamond Casino & Resort. But please also help him out with his fundraiser.

[Guest]

In a 1v1 you must kill yourself more than you kill your opponent to win. 

 

K/D ratio is the only thing that measures wether you good or bad at this game. 

 

Do not take time to enjoy the game.  Speedrun, grind and do missions in the cheapest way to be rich and bored instead. 

Edited May 5 by BumpyJohnson

[o_Marvelous]

7 hours ago, SpaceBeagle said:

rule 69, backed up with precise statistic - 69.69% of all in-game chat on PC is following line: "Is there a modder in session, can you drop me some money!"

69% of chat on PS Lobbies is n***a this and that, and non stop abuse being hurled back and forth. The rest is a mixture of 8-11 year old kids begging for sh*t, someone hot mic'ing while blasting absolute TRASH music or the odd helpful/funny person.

[Zaniness]

Triple boxville sale, poster hanging popularity mission and rescue monkey security contract are all known under one codename: switch session.

Edited May 5 by Zaniness

[Rotorhead359]

39 minutes ago, Zaniness said:

Triple boxville sale, poster hanging popularity mission and rescue monkey security contract are all known under one codename: switch session.

Don't forget the dune buggies from the bunker

[Big Molio]

Every Open Wheel race will be littered with cars with no back tyres, each dragging themselves along pathetically like a dog that has just been run over.

 

Blocking noobs in shops with vehicles is always funny.

 

Stealing I/E cars and leaving them in stupid places with the Cargobob is always funny

 

Leaving ignition bomb cars outside Los Santos Customs is always funny

 

Shooting jet griefers with the explosive sniper is always satisfying

 

Noobs will always pull up in their vomit-inducing, garishly painted clown cars honking at you to get in...

 

...then try and kill you when you politely decline

 

[Tomtomsengermany]

No matter which weapon ur using in PVP. Ur a noob.

[DrEeveell]

7 hours ago, AirWolf359 said:

Don't forget the dune buggies from the bunker

 

I've actually done the dune buggy a couple of times. I've found the prox mines a lot more helpful than the mini-gun.

[halifaxbboy]

10 hours ago, o_Marvelous said:

69% of chat on PS Lobbies is n***a this and that, and non stop abuse being hurled back and forth. The rest is a mixture of 8-11 year old kids begging for sh*t, someone hot mic'ing while blasting absolute TRASH music or the odd helpful/funny person.

Facts

Tryhards will try to bait you into 1v1, but get salty and call you trash when you use their own tactics against them.

[Gunbladelad]

Griefers and Try-hards can never resist a nice easy-looking target.

Haulage attracts all the griefers in the session that aren't actively spawn-trapping some poor newbie.

ALWAYS do Haulage with an MOC cab - Griefers can NEVER understand why their first 2 oppressor missiles didn't kill you - and will remain committed to the kill, despite needing a minimum of 4 oppressors to destroy a maxed out MOC cab.

[Jehannum]

26. In a public session, when you get the bug where everyone else leaves, your reaction will be: "YESSSS!!!".

[Jenkiiii]

27. Business Battles will be on triple payout but you will never see one .

 

[Tomtomsengermany]

2 hours ago, Jenkiiii said:

27. Business Battles will be on triple payout but you will never see one .

 

27a

 

And when you see one, its the USS Lexington

[RyuNova]

You never fart on another man's balls.

[paperbagdude]

You report anyone who seems to have glitched under the map where the subway tunnels should be located

[TheFroggmann]

If a high-level player is orbiting your sale but not attacking or getting in position to attack, especially in a non-meme vehicle, they are offering their help not hindering your sale. Don't fire at them, or else they will become a hindrance. 

 

It's amazing how many people don't understand this. It is also the only time I intentionally destroy cargo. 

[Arrows to Athens]

On 5/5/2022 at 12:51 PM, Valiant ENT CEO said:

Rule #427

 

Only kick players from your mission based off usernames/skins. Not rank.

 

 

Or based off their behaviour and IQ level.

[theEwing1979]

There are two types of GTA online player.... 

 

1. Those that have f*cked whores and then burnt them alive. 

 

2. Liars. 

[Giantsgiants]

When doing auto shop contracts, you must take out KDJ any opportunity you get before his “motherf*ckers” poison everyone’s ears.

[Gridl0k]

Robbing some banks? Expect some close quarter battles inside the FIB building? Sharpshooter is the weapons loadout for you!

[SummerFreeze]

16 hours ago, TheFroggmann said:

If a high-level player is orbiting your sale but not attacking or getting in position to attack, especially in a non-meme vehicle, they are offering their help not hindering your sale. Don't fire at them, or else they will become a hindrance. 

 

It's amazing how many people don't understand this. It is also the only time I intentionally destroy cargo. 

If you're "protecting" a sale without declaring your intention to the seller, don't be surprised when you get shot at. Otherwise your "retaliation" is just a weak excuse to destroy cargo.

 

It's amazing there are people who don't know any player interference is a possible threat when transporting cargo.

Edited May 7 by SummerFreeze

[Leftover Pizza]

The number you see in the Player List in a Public Lobby is not the amount of players currently in the lobby. It's their average IQ.

[Hécate-II]

5 hours ago, SummerFreeze said:

Otherwise your "retaliation" is just a weak excuse to destroy cargo.

 

It's amazing there are people who don't know any player interference is a possible threat when transporting cargo.

 

Agreed, some players(low levels or dont look invisible anklet tryhards) seem unharmful but the reality is always that 99% heading to you when you're carrying stuff come to kill you.. Or they "wanted to help but you shooted first"...

 

The last time I farmed Special Cargo last year I ended Savaging mostly low levels(-75 lvl) because...these pos were the only ones trying to blow up my crates when I was going back and forth. But thats probably an unpopular opinion here: low levels are just assholes who can't yet buy a broomstick or a clown car. 

 

Edited May 7 by Hécate-II

[tjakal]

When a 'Business Battle' spawns ~8 out of 10 times it will be the USS Luxington. ~ 9 out of these 10 times you will be the only one in session flying a Lazer back and forth to your nightclub collecting the packets.

(Because it's 'mid DLC' and nothing else is happening) The 10th time there will be a organization with ~2 noobs who don't know air defenses is/can be disabled collecting packages by boat.

 

You'll buzz past them dipping your wings to pay respect.

[Yellow Dog with Cone]

You always have to knock those yellow things (I forgor their name) in the middle on the road when driving through the Fort Zancudo bridge, no exceptions.

[Gridl0k]

Nobody will believe you are a top-level player unless you have invisible ankles

 

However, if you are unable to get them you can wear this one specific top, for some reason.