Weird things you used to think when you were young about the GTA series

[Panzermann11]

On 10/26/2021 at 10:58 PM, Vince Vance said:

Once while playing San Andreas with my younger cousins, I was shooting up the police station in Los Santos and one of them told me to go to the showers to get the "purple sword". It was a dildo. I was old enough to know what it was (well actually probably not, but I knew anyway) but I didn't want to spoil their innocence (lol, we were shooting up a police station) so I just went along with it and pretended it was an oddly shaped, incredibly blunt sword.

Just wait 'till you (Or they for that matter) find out about Saints Row 4. That game literally has a dildo sword. No kidding.

Edited July 4 by Panzermann11

[Midnight Hitman]

i wanted to lick tracy de santa's starfish

[Xane_MM]

On 4/26/2021 at 4:45 AM, Panzermann11 said:

When I heard Ginuwine - Pony in GTA 4, I thought "Juices flowing down your thigh" was "Jesus glowing, damn you're fine". I thought they were trying to put some weird Christian sh*t.

When a friend and I played Vice City, we SOMEHOW thought “Owner of a Lonely Heart” was singing “Goin' round a loopty-loop”. I still don't know how we misinterpreted that line. I think our TV's audio wasn't the best so maybe that made it harder to understand.

On 6/12/2021 at 11:21 AM, CynicalMexican said:

I used to think the Portland safe house (Eddie's Garage) was actually owned by Eddy from Ed Edd n Eddy

 

I'm vaguely recalling that I might have thought that Luigi in GTA 3 was somehow the Luigi from Super Mario… I'm not too sure if I'm remembering it correctly, though.

 

(I'm in my phone so the editor won't let me remove the quote below.)

On 10/25/2021 at 1:58 PM, Panzermann11 said:

 

 

[Panzermann11]

On 12/3/2021 at 3:53 AM, Xane_MM said:

I'm vaguely recalling that I might have thought that Luigi in GTA 3 was somehow the Luigi from Super Mario… I'm not too sure if I'm remembering it correctly, though.

That reminds me, when I was playing Vice City I thought one of the Mario guys around Tommy's mansion was saying "I told myself Wario, take it easy!". Now that I think about it, we seem to always think of a plumber wearing red with an M on his hat whenever we hear the name "Mario"...

Edited July 4 by Panzermann11

[Yannerrins]

I had a wierd cracked version of GTA SA in my childhood, and it had a SWAT APCs and FBI Trucks driving around countryside.

I used to think that San Andreas state is on martial law because of that... 

[Solid Squirrel]

I'm italian and as a kid, I used to say "Big Small" instead of Big Smoke. 

[2017bizarresummer]

On 11/3/2021 at 1:52 AM, Panzermann11 said:

Reminds me when I was young, I searched for Xbox 360, PS3, 3DS emulators and what I failed to realize the "emulators" I looked for were scams.

 

What I realized, the menu layout of the "emulators" look the same, the names of them are generically named and they ask for BIOs, which download links either require some sort of password you have no chance of getting or surveys which you'll never complete. The YouTube comments on the videos also have comments like "It worked! The dislike button worked!".

 

Now, fast forward years later and we have actual Xbox 360, PS3 and 3DS emulators, Xenia, RPCS3 and Citra.

I vaguely remember Rapidshare, but I didn't see how was it bad. 

 

It was bad in the sense that download speed was very low if you didn't had a paid account (to add salt to the injury my internet connection was terrible at that time). Also they took down files regularily, and it was bad if the game you wanted to download was split in 20 parts (who remembers that from back in the days?) and a random file was taken down.

Edited December 5, 2021 by 2017bizarresummer

[bahraini_carguy]

9 hours ago, 2017bizarresummer said:

 

It was bad in the sense that download speed was very low if you didn't had a paid account (to add salt to the injury my internet connection was terrible at that time). Also they took down files regularily, and it was bad if the game you wanted to download was split in 20 parts (who remembers that from back in the days?) and a random file was taken down.

Man you brought back some bad memories with that one lol.

----
Not sure if i ever mentioned this before but i always thought that these two character artworks were supposed to be CJ.




While i eventually figured out long time ago that the second artwork were clearly an artwork of Cesar and that child me was just dumb af. I actually didn't realize until lately that the first artwork is somehow supposed to be OG Loc of all people. Seriously, aside from maybe the chain, he looks nothing like the in-game OG LOC to me.

 

Sorry for my garbage engrish.

Edited December 6, 2021 by FalconKing

[Xerukal]

Funnily enough, I don't think CJ looks like himself in any of the artworks depicting him for SA. Except for maybe the one with the face mask? If that's even him. 

 

 

 

[VegMadeKid]

I used to think Tommy was really selling ice cream in Vice City with the Mr. Whoopee Ice Cream truck, and would be utterly confused as to why I would gain wanted level starsvlol

Edited December 7, 2021 by VegMadeKid

[Americana]

Maybe he doesn't pay an income tax.

[Panzermann11]

8 hours ago, VegMadeKid said:

I used to think Tommy was really selling ice cream in Vice City with the Mr. Whoopee Ice Cream truck, and would be utterly confused as to why I would gain wanted level starsvlol

Yeah, that's exactly what I thought a while ago.

 

 

[Themaster9565]

I spent my childhood playing GTA Vice City mostly. Whenever I picked up a prostitute from the street, I used to think she's only sharing some food with Tommy to let him gain extra 25 HP. I never know what actually they shared with each other, until I become a 16-year-old boy.

We all were so innocent with imagining what is happening in a game.

Edited December 8, 2021 by Themaster9565

[Mz. Hazey]

When I first started playing my little cousin introduced me and he was so young he used to call it Gran Fafato and I thought that was the name for a year or so. Lol. 

 

 

[imViolet]

On 4/11/2021 at 10:06 PM, JaeDan 101 said:

When I was young I tried to shoot a woman's tits in GTA IV and I thought breast milk will come out

lol

i've heard a lot of bad women's anatomy... but this has to take the cake

[Ifxfdh]

i thought that Dom was Franklins son. (Do not ask why)

[Panzermann11]

On 11/3/2021 at 12:00 PM, CynicalMexican said:

A Max Payne game in CDMX would be f*cking dope, or even a game like Sleeping Dogs.

 

On 10/26/2021 at 2:53 AM, 2017bizarresummer said:

Seriously, a well done GTA Mexico is my pipe dream, it would be so much fun travelling through fictionalized versions of CDMX or Tamaulipas.

May I introduce you guys to Total Overdose? It's a GTA-like game set in Mexico and it makes use of a bullet time system similar to Max Payne. Pretty much the closest you can get to a GTA game that's set in Mexico.

Edited April 11 by Panzermann11

[2017bizarresummer]

On 2/5/2021 at 12:51 PM, E Revere said:

I thought that Gonzales and Diaz were the same person, and that the "Diaz' health" bar from Guardian Angels was signifying the health of your attackers in relation to Lance's health representing the health of your allies. So when I did Rub Out, I also thought that the "Diaz! I've come to take over your business!" line was actually spoken by Gonzales (actually Diaz) who, for some reason, called Tommy as Diaz.

 

I went through most of the game without understanding a single word. In Eastern Europe, you had two choices, either play with a horribly-translated version with immersion-breaking texture mods or play in English with original textures. I played the English version despite having little to no English knowledge just because I could at least guess what the characters were talking about. To actually know the story, I read a summary written by someone in some forum who actually knew English. The guy talked about how Tommy was betrayed in Liberty City in an ambush, killed 15 men and got sent to prison. My little mind took that as: Mainland Vice City is Liberty City, and this so-called ambush was what happened in the opening cutscene. Keep in mind I had only played GTA VC up to this point. I also thought that the ambush was set up by Sonny, not Diaz, and that it was what made Tommy so angry.

 

I thought that Earnest Kelly was Tommy's father.

 

As for SA, for some reason, I assumed that Toreno was British.

 

Regarding those awful translations, just to show you how bad they really were, Back Alley Brawl was translated as Alley Brawl is Back, as if Alley Brawl is the name of someone who returned from somewhere. Because of that, I assumed Leo Teal's name was Alley Brawl. The same idiot who made that translation patch, many years later, did another for TLAD and translated chopper (as in motorcycle) as helicopter.

Do you have more translation wrecks? The sole idea of the motorcycle being called helicopter reminds me of that crappy OFFICIAL Final Fantasy 7 translation made in Spain.

[Ondr4H]

On 10/25/2021 at 9:14 PM, BilalKurd said:

My parents didn't let me play the games for a while, but when San Andreas came out for some reason they changed their minds. Anyway, because my parents told me the game wasn't appropriate for kids I thought GTA was some sort of horror game or something and was scared shirtless whenever I tried to play it.

Well, San Andreas is kinda horror game when you are messing with interior map and believe in myth in game.

 

I hate horror games, but when I was 13 years old I was scared to play GTA at night.

[H-G]

It's not something I thought of when I was young, but Pay 'n' Spray's name kinda implied on first impression that customers have to do all of that coloring, bodywork etc. all by themselves and that the $100 payment is for simply using the provided spare parts and paint machines.

 

This thought was shaken off when I saw the Pay 'n' Spray garage texts.

[sabitsuki]

On 12/7/2021 at 2:04 PM, VegMadeKid said:

I used to think Tommy was really selling ice cream in Vice City with the Mr. Whoopee Ice Cream truck, and would be utterly confused as to why I would gain wanted level starsvlol

He actually was. Vcpd just hates ice cream

[GhettoJesus]

Here are some of the weird things I used to think about SA. I first played the game with a pretty poor quality fan translation so naturally if the translators didn't know what a phrase meant or mistranslated something or just translated a phrase literally (all of which happened quite a lot) then I didn't know it either as I wasn't paying close attention to the English audio.

 

• I used to think that Ryder buried an actual bottle of water in his garden. When he was making sherm in Catalyst I used to think he was making soup. When Ryder shows Tenpenny the jar I simply thought it contained spices for the soup.
• When Ryder said "weekend soldier" I thought that these people work regular jobs from Monday to Friday and then they work as soldiers on the weekends.
• I used to think that the Mountain Cloud Boys, or at least Ran Fa Li and Suzie, looked down on CJ after seeing him cycling in the first mission. Originally Suzie sarcastically asks Woozie whether CJ is a biker. In the fan translation he asks Woozie whether CJ is a cyclist, hence my confusion.
• I used to think that CJ bought entire hotels, not just individual suites

Edited April 4 by GhettoJesus

[H-G]

7 hours ago, GhettoJesus said:

I used to think that CJ bought entire hotels, not just individual suites

Me too, lol.

 

IIRC one of my friends even commented on how I bought a whole damn hotel with just $6,000 once and I was like "Yeah, good point, what is this?" when I actually thought about it. Silly me.

Edited April 4 by H-G

[Carbonox]

Screw just hotels, if he'd been able to buy entire casinos like the Camel's Toe, that sh*t would've been the tits.

[H-G]

55 minutes ago, Carbonox said:

Screw just hotels, if he'd been able to buy entire casinos like the Camel's Toe, that sh*t would've been the tits.

...Coming to think of it, that would've been helluva lit.

 

But now that I think of it, I find a little disappointing that entering all these big hotel safehouses in SA directly takes you to your apartment's interior and that one room is all about that corresponding building.

Edited April 4 by H-G

[donnits]

i used to think the protagonist in gta 3 and vice city were the same character. the reason he didnt talk in gta 3 was that he was depressed cause liberty city is so depressing

[Zello]

On 4/4/2022 at 4:14 AM, GhettoJesus said:

 

• When Ryder said "weekend soldier" I thought that these people work regular jobs from Monday to Friday and then they work as soldiers on the weekends.

That's actually pretty real. The reserves and National guard require people to work once a month or every weekend. I work with a couple of dudes who are in the Marine Reserves and every other week or so they're required to do their duty.

[StreetLife101]

Back in 2017 I used to believe on those GTA VI "leaked" screenshots and gameplay. I'm new to the GTA series in that time so yeah..

[sabitsuki]

probably counts more as Mandela effect but when Chinatown Wars came out I thought it had a prostitution minigame where you could fool around with the hooker using the DS touchscreen.

Edited April 9 by sabitsuki

[Ondr4H]

On 12/2/2021 at 8:23 PM, Midnight Hitman said:

i wanted to lick tracy de santa's starfish

Island?