MOTW #171

[YGE 9]

5 hours ago, The John David said:

I played all the entries and here's my feedback and reviews for them. If there's someone I miss, let me know.

 

@Luitger: Procession

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Great job! I've seen potential of your mission you made since your last participation was miscomprehended. Everything's good including the BGM in SD. Spelling and grammars are commonly mistakes I founded so it's alright. But I do have an confirmation about the intro texts. it says that Andrei is working as one of the Mafia members, it also state that he is NOT a real mafia member? He's already an MAFIA member, and he's already working with his boss decades or whatever. That doesn't make sense?

 

@zeko: Causa Inopinatum

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Very good, the storytelling of the mission truly impressed me with an unbelievable variety of object tricks you made and all dialogues each cutscenes had unique effects too. However, the gameplay of your mission is disconcerted because the enemies had deadly strategies and accuracy that can kill me nor my allies in short period of time. I died 8 or more times trying to accomplish by eliminating all the guards out there. Not only the guards are deadly, but the cops are more irritating and appearing nowhere. No health packs / armor to refill my status. So yeah? I'm just disturbed playing this mission. And I suspected that you forgot to turn off the wanted level condition.

 

@ElectricFish: A Hard Bargain To Drive

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The mission is amazing. Everything's great to accomplish it without any further consequences. Your only common mistakes I've found is your spelling and grammars so it's alright. Oh by the way, congrats for your previous MOTW participation.

 

@YGE: A Deal With An Old Friend

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This mission is a bit complicated to understand, but also it has nice summarization. Some advice, you don't need to capitalized each first letter typing a word. You can literally use the DYOMTemp.txt, check every dialogues you made, try observing the sentences and make changes if you missed something to add it. But you're getting improved a bit since your last participation. So good job for this.

 

Since the voting hasn't open yet? I'll later reveal that person once the voting started.

Cheers & Stay safe everyone 

Thanks for feedback for my mission and next time i won't capitalized words next time

[boy of the cones 708]

Hey guys, don't make any reviews because my mission it's almost done! 

[The John David 706]

2 hours ago, zeko said:

@The John David

 

appreciated the review! 

 

don't read if you haven't played my entry in this MOTW. 

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yeah, there were mistakes in this mission and let me tell you this; it used to be much difficult before i even published it to the site. 

 

not only you had to deal with enemies with high accuracy, but you also had a timelimit at the first half. i did make them hard intentionally because the player needs to figure out a strategy and it's not just about sitting in one place and shoot everyone up. you never felt secure anytime and that's how i wanted it to progress. also about the cops, yes, i forgot to turn the wanted level off.

 

 

 

I already making every move to get rid the enemies that have red pointed arrows one at a time because the ammo of my weapons are rarely to find and picked. Honestly, the only makes everything hard here is the f*cking cops that I couldn't passed the mission, including the ride back on the warehouse after they confiscated the stuffs. Cops is everywhere! Holy cr*p!

Edited November 29, 2020 by The John David

[Luitger 2]

8 hours ago, The John David said:

I played all the entries and here's my feedback and reviews for them. If there's someone I miss, let me know.

 

@Luitger: Procession

  Reveal hidden contents

Great job! I've seen potential of your mission you made since your last participation was miscomprehended. Everything's good including the BGM in SD. Spelling and grammars are commonly mistakes I founded so it's alright. But I do have an confirmation about the intro texts. it says that Andrei is working as one of the Mafia members, it also state that he is NOT a real mafia member? He's already an MAFIA member, and he's already working with his boss decades or whatever. That doesn't make sense?

 

@zeko: Causa Inopinatum

  Reveal hidden contents

Very good, the storytelling of the mission truly impressed me with an unbelievable variety of object tricks you made and all dialogues each cutscenes had unique effects too. However, the gameplay of your mission is disconcerted because the enemies had deadly strategies and accuracy that can kill me nor my allies in short period of time. I died 8 or more times trying to accomplish by eliminating all the guards out there. Not only the guards are deadly, but the cops are more irritating and appearing nowhere. No health packs / armor to refill my status. So yeah? I'm just disturbed playing this mission. And I suspected that you forgot to turn off the wanted level condition.

 

@ElectricFish: A Hard Bargain To Drive

  Reveal hidden contents

The mission is amazing. Everything's great to accomplish it without any further consequences. Your only common mistakes I've found is your spelling and grammars so it's alright. Oh by the way, congrats for your previous MOTW participation.

 

@YGE: A Deal With An Old Friend

  Reveal hidden contents

This mission is a bit complicated to understand, but also it has nice summarization. Some advice, you don't need to capitalized each first letter typing a word. You can literally use the DYOMTemp.txt, check every dialogues you made, try observing the sentences and make changes if you missed something to add it. But you're getting improved a bit since your last participation. So good job for this.

 

Since the voting hasn't open yet? I'll later reveal that person once the voting started.

Cheers & Stay safe everyone 

Thank you for your feedback. About Andre, he works with the Mafia, but isn't a member. I wrote it a little inaccurate sorry for that, and about the grammer, I'll try to improve it next time

Edited November 29, 2020 by Luitger

[zeko 930]

44 minutes ago, The John David said:

I already making every move to get rid the enemies that have red pointed arrows one at a time because the ammo of my weapons are rarely to find and picked. Honestly, the only makes everything hard here is the f*cking cops that I couldn't passed the mission, including the ride back on the warehouse after they confiscated the stuffs. Cops is everywhere! Holy cr*p!

well, you had a minigun and a good amount of ammo to shred them in seconds, really

[Aymunz 284]

1 hour ago, zeko said:

well, you had a minigun and a good amount of ammo to shred them in seconds, really

A mini gun, AND a low HP, AND a trembling pick up truck that you'd fall from in any second..

[YGE 9]

@The John David I will edit the mission and remove the capitalized words

 

Edit: i edited the mission and the capitalized is deleted 

Edited November 29, 2020 by YGE

[zeko 930]

18 minutes ago, Aymunz said:

A mini gun, AND a low HP, AND a trembling pick up truck that you'd fall from in any second..

can't use the mods to make the player glued to the truck though, so yeah... 

[lascha2nd 34]

here my entry (sorry if the storyline was bad)

https://dyom.gtagames.nl/show/67324

[Axoez 31]

On 11/25/2020 at 5:54 PM, ElectricFish said:

rith said that as long as you involve the mod, it's no problem

involve the mod? but it's like portal gun mod, the mission will involve the portal gun

[boy of the cones 708]

Guys, https://dyom.gtagames.nl/show/67329

 

Spoiler

if the mission it's bad or good i don't care about it 

 

[The John David 706]

On 11/29/2020 at 8:54 PM, zeko said:

well, you had a minigun and a good amount of ammo to shred them in seconds, really

Well, not for long... @Aymunz got a point.

 

Anyway, those late participants posted the mission. I've played them completely and here's my review both of them.

@lascha2nd: Interrupted Deal

Spoiler

Wow! Your mission is refreshingly good, the storytelling is quite adequacy enough, but what's more amazed me here is the a lot of object placements, and the gunfight ambush BGM as I break through the Militia goons to rescue the secretary agent than having a bet for them. Everything's too easy without using cheats, but same as @zeko entry, you forgot to turn off the wanted level and even to publish the mission. But it's alright, those cops aren't pain in the a** out there, the enemies have balance accuracy and limit spawn, since my top priority is to get rid of their boss. Excellent!

 

@boy of the cones: Unforgettable

Spoiler

Your mission was quite hard a bit, I took much time observing each houses that ballas guarded, Some reason, I can't figure out where's the house am I supposed to get in to find the key? But time is running out. Although, your entry is focus on "Stealth, Sneaky" instead of the "Deal" that is indicated today. I don't want to disappoint you? But for me, it's alright. You did your best :D. Nice!

 

Edited November 30, 2020 by The John David

[zeko 930]

hopefully there won't be a problem

 

https://dyom.gtagames.nl/show/67348

 

remade it with a new story

[Axoez 31]

My vote goes to: zeko
Review for all missions (It's in order from my favorite to my least favorite):
zeko's Causa Inopinatum:

Spoiler

One word, Amazing, The story was great, the gameplay was great, the plot was great, and it makes more sense now than the original version, it was a good idea to remake the mission,
keep up the good work!

ElectricFish's A Hard Bargain To Drive

Spoiler

It's a perfect recreation of that one mission from Mafia: Definitive Edition!

lascha2nd's Interrupted Deal

Spoiler

The story was ok, there's a bit of spelling and grammar problem, the gameplay was great, you also got some more stuff to learn about DYOM, but the details made with objects, wow!

Coneboy's Unforgettable

Spoiler

I like how you merged MOTW 170 and MOTW 171, I also like your creativeness using "SWAT Costume" as a replacement for mask, I was a little bit confused finding the van, but overall, nice!

Luitger's Procession

Spoiler

I like the way you forced the player (us) to download the SD unless they want to watch a funny scene with CJ and Big Smoke xd, so the gameplay was easy because you have 200 healths, I also think the fact that Andre being a non-member to the mafia is unnecessary.

YGE's A Deal With Old Friend

Spoiler

It was cool, but why the weird plot twist at the end? There's also a lot of grammar problems, but don't let that demotivate you!

 

Edited December 2, 2020 by Axoez
fart

[Polski Oski 133]

My vote goes to ElectricFish again. I really like missions which recreate other games missions. Good work! 

[The John David 706]

My vote goes to @lascha2nd

Spoiler

I forgot to add this on my post:

- Your mission is more focus in creativity and the theme is in exact phase. That's why you earned my vote. Goodluck!

 

Edited December 1, 2020 by The John David

[ElectricFish 17]

2 hours ago, Polski Oski said:

My vote goes to ElectricFish again. I really like missions which recreate other games missions. Good work! 

i appreciate that

[Robert17 23]

Well now I've made my own feedback about these awesome missions you guys made!

Procession (by Luitger)

--------------------------------

Spoiler

Overall, the mission was ok. But I don't know why would a non-member of the families participate in some kind of a secret deal? Anyways, the use of SD music at that part where Aztescas show up is kind of strange, I don't know how would a happy music fit with this part (maybe it's just me). The gameplay was ok, all you had to do was kill the Aztescas and that dude who stole the drug, but why would Aztescas gang get involved in this? The story is kinda confusing.. And finally: the cutscenes! The cutscenes are really good, especially in slowmotion when Aztescas come to disturb the deal.

Story: 6.5/10

Gameplay: 7.5/10

Cutscenes: 9/10

SD: 7/10

Causa inopinatum (by zeko)

Spoiler

The mission had a ton of action! It was hard to shoot the dudes with an AK, perhaps you could give the player a M4 instead (because it has more range). The SD files made the action more intense, you did a great job with the SD files! I had to attempt this mission a few times (I died because of the guys with combat shotguns), so that's why the gameplay will not be 10/10. I didn't quite understand the story tho, to me it looked like some continuation of an MP or something, all I understood is it's about some agency and other stuff. The cutscenes were truly briliant, and I'm also talking about that nice door animation when Oliver comes in!

Story: 8/10

Gameplay: 9/10

Cutscenes: 10/10

SD: 10/10

A Hard Bargain To Drive (by ElectricFish)

Spoiler

Since you are the host, you know exactly what this theme is about! The story was classic, like you make some kind of deal and then get disturbed by some goons, not exactly an interesting story, but at least it's something that fits with the theme really well. The cutscenes were alright, I mean the objects and everything being organized in a warehouse, but when I see actors dissapearing and reappearing, it kinda ruins it. You gotta know when to spawn the actors, and when to hide them. The gameplay was good, and the drive by part made it better.

Story: 8/10

Gameplay: 8/10

Cutscenes: 7/10

A Deal With Old Friend (by YGE)

Spoiler

I'll start with the worst thing. The story was bad, you didn't put your mind into it (and the plot twist at the end just made it worse). The cutscenes were really boring, they only had static effect, there were some ways you could make the cutscenes look better but you didn't care about that at all. I can't say the gameplay is bad, but it's short. There's basically many things wrong with your mission, please don't do these mistakes again.

I'm sorry you gotta see this feedback you didn't expect. But that's the only way to improve, you gotta learn from mistakes.

Story: 4/10

Gameplay: 6/10

Cutscenes: 5/10

Interrupted Deal (by Iascha2nd)

Spoiler

I'm impressed by the gameplay, the music made it awesome! And the phone call sound too, it's a nice small addon for the mission! But just to let you know that there's a setting called "kill whole gang" when editing objective actor (you set it on so then you have to kill all actors before proceeding to the next part). The story doesn't really make sense, I mean some secretary agent who got kidnapped and is about to be "sold", and why would the militia kidnap him? And I don't know what to say about the cutscenes, I can say they were great.

Story: 6/10

Gameplay: 8/10

Cutscenes: 8.5/10

SD: 10/10 (with 3 sound files making a good part)

Unforgettable (by boy of the cones aka coneboy)

Spoiler

The checkpoint isn't marked on the map, i've searched around East Beach and I couldn't find any pilot. So at this moment I can't give a proper feedback.

Story: ???

Gameplay: ???

Cutscenes: ???

--------------------------------

And now with all these feedbacks, my vote goes to...

Spoiler

Zeko! Nice job! You're truly a dedicated mission designer. You have my vote!

And good job to you guys as well! Some of these missions were amazing, but unfortunately I can only vote the best mission out here.

 

Edited December 1, 2020 by Robert17

[Luitger 2]

14 hours ago, Robert17 said:

Well now I've made my own feedback about these awesome missions you guys made!

Procession (by Luitger)

--------------------------------

  Hide contents

Overall, the mission was ok. But I don't know why would a non-member of the families participate in some kind of a secret deal? Anyways, the use of SD music at that part where Aztescas show up is kind of strange, I don't know how would a happy music fit with this part (maybe it's just me). The gameplay was ok, all you had to do was kill the Aztescas and that dude who stole the drug, but why would Aztescas gang get involved in this? The story is kinda confusing.. And finally: the cutscenes! The cutscenes are really good, especially in slowmotion when Aztescas come to disturb the deal.

Story: 6.5/10

Gameplay: 7.5/10

Cutscenes: 9/10

SD: 7/10

Causa inopinatum (by zeko)

  Reveal hidden contents

The mission had a ton of action! It was hard to shoot the dudes with an AK, perhaps you could give the player a M4 instead (because it has more range). The SD files made the action more intense, you did a great job with the SD files! I had to attempt this mission a few times (I died because of the guys with combat shotguns), so that's why the gameplay will not be 10/10. I didn't quite understand the story tho, to me it looked like some continuation of an MP or something, all I understood is it's about some agency and other stuff. The cutscenes were truly briliant, and I'm also talking about that nice door animation when Oliver comes in!

Story: 8/10

Gameplay: 9/10

Cutscenes: 10/10

SD: 10/10

A Hard Bargain To Drive (by ElectricFish)

  Reveal hidden contents

Since you are the host, you know exactly what this theme is about! The story was classic, like you make some kind of deal and then get disturbed by some goons, not exactly an interesting story, but at least it's something that fits with the theme really well. The cutscenes were alright, I mean the objects and everything being organized in a warehouse, but when I see actors dissapearing and reappearing, it kinda ruins it. You gotta know when to spawn the actors, and when to hide them. The gameplay was good, and the drive by part made it better.

Story: 8/10

Gameplay: 8/10

Cutscenes: 7/10

A Deal With Old Friend (by YGE)

  Reveal hidden contents

I'll start with the worst thing. The story was bad, you didn't put your mind into it (and the plot twist at the end just made it worse). The cutscenes were really boring, they only had static effect, there were some ways you could make the cutscenes look better but you didn't care about that at all. I can't say the gameplay is bad, but it's short. There's basically many things wrong with your mission, please don't do these mistakes again.

I'm sorry you gotta see this feedback you didn't expect. But that's the only way to improve, you gotta learn from mistakes.

Story: 4/10

Gameplay: 6/10

Cutscenes: 5/10

Interrupted Deal (by Iascha2nd)

  Reveal hidden contents

I'm impressed by the gameplay, the music made it awesome! And the phone call sound too, it's a nice small addon for the mission! But just to let you know that there's a setting called "kill whole gang" when editing objective actor (you set it on so then you have to kill all actors before proceeding to the next part). The story doesn't really make sense, I mean some secretary agent who got kidnapped and is about to be "sold", and why would the militia kidnap him? And I don't know what to say about the cutscenes, I can say they were great.

Story: 6/10

Gameplay: 8/10

Cutscenes: 8.5/10

SD: 10/10 (with 3 sound files making a good part)

Unforgettable (by boy of the cones aka coneboy)

  Reveal hidden contents

The checkpoint isn't marked on the map, i've searched around East Beach and I couldn't find any pilot. So at this moment I can't give a proper feedback.

Story: ???

Gameplay: ???

Cutscenes: ???

--------------------------------

And now with all these feedbacks, my vote goes to...

  Reveal hidden contents

Zeko! Nice job! You're truly a dedicated mission designer. You have my vote!

And good job to you guys as well! Some of these missions were amazing, but unfortunately I can only vote the best mission out here.

 

Okay I know about this guy Andre not being in the Mafia was kinda confusing and didn't make sense, I can see that now, won't happen next time, but what do you mean happy music? In the song the guy sings how he has no living in his live because somebody left him and he hasn't got anything, yeah really happy. I chose the song quickly because first I like the song and second I thought it would be suitable in this scene. But thank you overall for your onest opinion about the mission, I'll try to improve next time.

Edited December 2, 2020 by Luitger

[Robert17 23]

2 minutes ago, Luitger said:

Okay I know about this guy Andre not being in the Mafia was kinda confusing and didn't make sense, I can see that now, won't happen next time, but what do you mean happy music? In the song the guy sings how he has no living in his live because somebody left him and he hasn't got anything, yeah really happy. I chose the song quickly because first I like the song and second I thought it would be suitable in this scene. But thank you overall for your onest opinion about the mission, I'll try to improve next time.

Well i'm talking about how the music sounded, not the lyrics. There could be a better song suitable for this mission honestly.

[Axoez 31]

congratulations zeko for winning