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Ruin-A-Scene


Staunton Assassin

Recommended Posts

Americana
 

Title: Give You Liberty

(Claude and his brother, 8-Ball, survived a car accident)

8-Ball: I know a place on the edge of the Red Light where we can lay low, and my hands ain't messed up, so I better drive, brother.

 


 

Edited by Ronald Reagan
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JetNormalGuy
Spoiler

How GTA IV Could've ended

 

Type: ruined GTA IV scene

 

Niko gets kidnapped by Mikhail's worker and is put with his cousin in the basement

when woken up, the worker starts asking him questions to which Nike responds with sarcastic answers 

the worker gets fed up and beats him with the saw he had then Mikhail comes in and shoots his worker

Then out of nowhere Mikhail's wife come in with A shot gun and yells (I THOUGHT I SAID TO KEEP QUIET IM WATCHING MY COOKING SHOW!)

she kills everybody in the basement and torches it and lied to the police saying that they had an electric problem which cause the basement to f*cking blow up.

 

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JetNormalGuy
Spoiler

How GTA VC Could've ended

 

Type:Ruined  Upgraded GTA scene

 

Tommy Vercetti Goes to make a deal with the vance brothers but it turns out to be an ambush but before they got shot Lance did Lance Vance Dance and emitted a shield to protect them and blinded the attackers because he got them move.

they do the deal and everyone lives happily ever after

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------THE END--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Edited by JetNormalGuy
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Niobium
 

 


Title: Mr. Bellic

Ruined Upgraded exisiting scene

 

_______________________________


Johnny: f*ck you Trevor.

Trevor: Aw.

Johnny: I still love her...

Johnny: I'm sorry man..... I messed up...

Trevor: Shhh.... it's okay cowboy... give me a hug....shhhh it's okay.....

Johnny: Shiet, I'd let you kiss me but I'm afraid you'd stick a knife in my back while I was doing it!

*Johnny kicks Trevor in the nuts, then Trevor falls to the ground*

Johnny: Ha, I was just kidding! I never loved Ashley! You two can do drugs and f*ck each other all day long, I don't care!

*Johnny gets in Trevor's red truck, laughs maniacally, and drives away*

*Trevor is curled up on the ground, with his hands on his balls*

Trevor: EURRRRRRRGH MIKAEL!!!!!!!1!

*from a distance, a yellow Rhapsody is driving closer towards trevor*

*as the car moves closer, the driver is revealed to be Niko*

Trevor: WHAT THE f*ck

Niko: YELLOW CAAAAAR! AAAAAARGH.

*Niko slams the gas pedal*

Niko: AAAAAAARGH MADDERFACKERS

*The car runs over Trevor. He fu*king dies. The end.*

 
 

 

Edited by Niobium
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  • 2 months later...
Staunton Assassin
Spoiler

Title: Not a Nice Bike

Type: Ruined existing GTA scene

 

Transcript:

 

[Tommy shows up at Rafael's clothing store on a pink Faggio, he goes in and instantly comes back out wearing the Soiree outfit.]

Bike Guy: [pulling over on a white Freeway across the street[ "Hmm, nice-" [Tommy shoots the bike guy with a Rocket Launcher, sending him flying out of the game world's boundaries] "BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIKE!" [falls through the fake water placed outside the boundaries and gets stuck indefinitely falling through Blue Hell.]

Tommy: [realizes he accidentally destroyed the Freeway] "Aw, man." [looks at the Faggio] "Well, at least I have this."

 

[Later that day...]

 

[Tommy shows Mercedes the Faggio at the Vice City Marina.]

Tommy: "This... is my bike." [facepalms, embarrassed.]

Mercedes: "This is your bike?!" [walks off] "Huh, and I thought you were a classy guy..."

 

MISSION FAILED!

You failed to impress the Colonel's daughter. Next time, try to steal the bike like a normal person!

Edited by The Eddo
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DownInThePMs
Spoiler

In The Crosshairs

------------

 

Cue Luis on the rooftop.

 

Bulgarin: Ah, yeah okay. You are in position. Do you see a box in front of you?

 

(Luis looks around and finds a box on the rooftop)

 

Luis: Yeah.

 

Bulgarin: Open it....

 

(Luis walks towards the box)

 

Bulgarin: Have you opened it yet?

 

Luis: No, give me a sec...

 

Bulgarin: Noooo?

 

Luis: Okay, I'm here.

 

(Luis opens the cake box, revealing an actual birthday cake inside it, complete with lit candles and a banner with the words "happy birthday louise" written in on it.)

 

Luis: ...Coño.

 

Bulgarin: How you like surprise? Timur baked and decorated cake himself last night. He was #1 wedding baker in Kyiv before he went work for me.

 

Luis: I don't know what to say, man. Not even momma remembers when my birthday is.

 

Bulgarin: Excellent. Enjoy it on me for helping me take out Ashvilli on short notice, and Luis?

 

(Luis scoops part of the cake up with his hands and stuffs it in his mouth like an animal)

 

Luis: Yeah?

 

Bulgarin: You and fa**ot shouldn't have tried to steal my diamonds!

 

(Sniper fire erupts from a distance, landing on the cake, splattering it and interrupting Luis's feast, as he recoils backwards in surprise, covered in cake)

 

Luis: Sh*t! F*cking great.

 

Edited by DownInTheHole
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Staunton Assassin
Spoiler

Title: Nothing Commander

Type: Ruined existing GTA scene

 

Transcript:

 

[Catalina and CJ are at the gas station in Dillimore, Catalina holds the gas station employee at gunpoint with a Pump-Action Shotgun through a window made out of bullet-proof glass.]

Catalina: "HAND OVER THE TAKINGS, OR I BLOW YOUR FISHING BILLS OFF!"

Employee: "This here's bullet-proof glass! So you can just fish off, batch, before I call the sheriff!"

 

CJ: [with a Baseball Bat] "Oh yeah? Well, this bat won't think so!" [smashes the window to pieces.]

Employee: [looks at CJ with a very huge WTF expression and then looks at Catalina while laughing nervously] "WILD BULL ALERT! WILD BULL ALERT! EVERYBODY, RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" [the whole town of Dillimore evacuates with an overly melodramatic and very long montage of people running for their lives.]

 

Derek: "What were you doing, son? You should've just given her the cash!" [flees through the backdoor, only to get run over by the damn train with four Vagos gang members standing on the top of it and wielding MP5s.]

Employee: [also flees through the backdoor, but Buster CJ and Big Smoke riding on a yellow Sanchez run him over.]

 

Catalina and CJ: [look at each other with very huge WTF expressions on their faces] "Whoa."

Big Smoke: [wielding a Tec-9] "All we had to do, was follow the damn train, CJ!"

 

CJ: "Hey, let's just grab every thing and get up outta here!"

Catalina: [literally puts the entire gas station into a briefcase, creating a very large entrance to Blue Hell] "GO, GO, GO!" [jumps onto a Quad with CJ and the two ride off.]

Edited by The Eddo
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Naughtius Maximus
Spoiler

Title: How Much Do You Charge to Kill Someone?

 

Niko: f*ck you! Strange choices? How much?

Darko: (laughs) A thousand.

Niko: You killed my friends for one thousand dollars?

Darko: How much do you charge to kill someone?

Niko: Well, I mean I could've done it for five grand. You gotta bargain over these things, so you have a place to go.

 

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Spoiler

Title: That Special Something

Type: Ruined existing GTA scene

 

Transcript:

 

phone rings

-Tommy.

-Sonny.

-Obviously you are suffering from hearing problems, so I'll try again. Where is the goddamn money, where is the goddamn stuff, and where is the dick you said you will mail to me?

-I sent it your way days ago, and I'm still looking for the money. You didn't give me a lot of support down here, Sonny.

-You want help from me, Tommy? Cus' I can't even help myself with the dick you were supposed to send. You better be screwing me with it, Tommy, because you know I'm a man to be screwed with.

 

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  • 2 weeks later...
Staunton Assassin

.

Edited by Staunton Assassin
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Staunton Assassin
Spoiler

Title: Smoke's Diet

Type: Ruined existing GTA scene

 

Transcript:

 

[CJ drives Sweet's Greenwood through the drive-thru alley of the Cluckin' Bell outlet in Willowfield and pulls over in front of the drive-thru speaker.]

A Cluckin' Bell employee: [through the speaker] "Can I take your order, please?"

CJ: "Hey, I'll take a number nine... fat boy."

 

Ryder: [sitting on the front passenger seat] "Gimme a number nine, just like his."

Sweet: [sitting on the right side of the backseat] "Well, let me get a number six with extra dip."

 

Big Smoke: [sitting on the left side of the backseat] "I'll have a salad meal, thank you." [everyone stare at Big Smoke with very huge WTF expressions on their faces.]

A pedestrian: [drops a burning cigarette on a trail of petrol going towards the Ballas gang members' Voodoo. The car catches fire and explodes with the gang members inside.]

Edited by Staunton Assassin
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  • 5 months later...
Staunton Assassin
Spoiler

Title: Don't Bat Ma Playa Up
Type: Ruined existing GTA scene

 

Transcript:

 

[Claude runs up the steps of the backdoor of Luigi's club and knocks on the door.]
Mickey: [opens the door from the inside, walks outside and walks up to Claude, holding a Baseball Bat] "Luigi said- To- To give you this so- Here. Here, take it!" [hits Claude with the bat.]

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Americana
 

Title: No Liberty


8-Ball: I don't know any place on the edge of the Red Light where we could lay low, and my hands are messed up, so we are doomed.

Claude: ...

 

 


Edited by Americana
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Spoiler

Title: Smoking kills

Type: Ruined existing GTA scene

 

One afternoon, Trevor is drinking gasoline to fill his daily patriotic doses. Suddenly, Patricia approaches him and hands him over a cigar and light it up with a matches.

Trevor: Ah yeah darling, that taste good... oh wait...

 

MISSION FAILED

Gasolina? No.

 

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GhettoJesus
Spoiler

Title: Not only in 3rd world countries
Type: Ruined existing GTA scene


Transcript:

Vlad: And Roman, tell this f*cking yokel here if he doesn't stop staring at me I'll have his head chopped off and put a film of it on the internet
Niko keeps staring

Niko: Hey Roman what is this liveleak.com thing near my head?

 

Edited by GhettoJesus
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ThatBenGuy
Spoiler

Title: Ending B (alternate take)

Type: Ruined existing GTA scene
 

Transcript:

Franklin is holding Michael as he’s about to fall off the high tower in ending B to GTA V. If the player waits a certain amount of time, a truck filled with pillows pulls up underneath Michael. The game will automatically pick for you and this will be the cutscene...

Michael: Ha! Nice try, Franklin! (lets go)
Franklin: MICHAEL!!! (reaches his hand out)

The truck filled with pillows drives away then a truck filled with barbed wire pulls up. Michael lands right in the back of it.

Michael: Curse you Franklin Clinton! (truck drives away)

Franklin then begins crying for a full minute then in the next scene, he is seen, holding up a “Begging for Mentor” sign.

This really sounds like my kinda thread! :D

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Spoiler

Title: Broken at the Caligulas casino.

[Zero]: Okay good, I've hacked into their emergency lighting protocols, Im going to blow the charges you put at the dam!
Here goes nothing!
...
The lights didnt go off, CJ forgot to plant the bomb at the emergency generator over at the dam, Hes spotted by security guards and is forced to abort the robbery.

 

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Americana
 

Title: Luigi's Not Here


8-Ball: This is Luigi's club, lets go round the back and use the service door.

(Claude and 8-Ball walk to the back door)

8-Ball: Wait here man while I go in and talk to Luigi.

(8-Ball knocks on the Sex Club Seven door)

8-Ball: Hehe... any minute now...

(8-Ball knocks once more)

8-Ball: Come on... come on!

(8-Ball knocks one more time, but nobody opens)

Claude: .... ?

8-Ball: Damn, looks like he's not here, man.

Claude: ...

8-Ball: Listen, I can't stay here. Sorry, I can't promise you anything. I have to go.

Claude: ...

(Claude observes as 8-Ball runs away, embarassed)

 


 

 

 

Edited by Americana
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Staunton Assassin
Spoiler

Title: Homies, Over Here!

Type: Ruined existing GTA scene

 

Transcript:

 

[CJ and Sweet exit Jefferson Motel from around the back and reach the sidewalk.]

Sweet: "Ah, bedsheet, what now?" [Big Smoke drives Sweet's Greenwood towards CJ and Sweet with Ryder.]

CJ: "It's Smoke and Ryder!"

 

Big Smoke: "Cluckin' Bell, here I come!" [drives straight past CJ and Sweet.]

CJ: "HEY!"

Edited by Staunton Assassin
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RenegadeAngel
Spoiler

Title: Deal gone right

 

[Vik Vance arrives at the meeting in a fancy helicopter, gets out carrying two heavy briefcases and slowly approaches Tommy who's been waiting for quite some time already]

Tommy: "Got it?"

Vik: "100 percent pure grade-A colombian, my friend."

Tommy: "Hold on a second, I think there's a bunch of hired guns hiding behind those crates literally 6 feet away from us"

Vik: "Haha, yes, how foolish of me not to spot them, they're right there. My brother has been telling me for a long time to get some glasses."

Tommy: "Yeah, well, something tells me those gentlemen do not like drug deals as much as we do. We should postpone our meeting and make sure we're not accompanied by shady-looking folks like that next time."

Vik: "Good idea. I'll be in touch."

 

[Tommy gets back to his car, Vik gets back to his helicopter and they leave]

 

Hired gun: "Wait. What the actual f*ck???"

 

[Credits roll, GTA Vice City never happens]

 

 

 

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Americana
Quote

Title: Weird Bellic

(Roman arrives to pick up his cousin, Niko.)

Roman: Niko, my cousin! Welcome to America!

Niko: Hey!

Roman: I have a place on the edge of Hove Beach where we can lay low...

Niko: But...

Roman: ...but my hands are messed up, so you better drive, cousin.

 

(Niko and Roman arrive at the destination.)


Roman: This is the place right here, let's get off the street and find a change of clothes!

 

(Niko and Roman enter the safehouse, change clothes and get back in the car.)

 

Roman: I know a guy, he's connected, his name's Luigi. Me an' him go back so I could probably get you some work. C'mon lets head over there.

 

Niko: Cousin, I've just arrived here and...

 

Roman: This is Luigi's club. Let's go round the back and use the service door. Wait here man while I go in and talk to Luigi.

 

Niko: But...

 

Luigi: Roman's got some business upstairs. Maybe you can do me a favor. One of my girls needs a ride so grab a car and pick up Misty from the clinic. Then bring her back here. Remember no one messes with my girls! So keep your hands...

 

Niko: What the f*ck?... 

 

(Niko turns back, hails a Taxi and goes back home.)

 


 

Edited by Americana
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  • 2 weeks later...
Staunton Assassin
Spoiler

Title: How III Could've Ended

Type: Ruined existing GTA scene

 

Transcript:

 

[The Colombian Cartel attacks the police convoy escorting Claude, 8-Ball and the Old Oriental Gentleman.]

Colombian dude: [with a fake M16] "COME ON!" [sees the cops holding real M16s] "FORGET IT!" [jumps back into the van with the other attackers and flees back to Staunton Island, taking the bomb he left on the bridge along as well which explodes in front of Belleville Park on Staunton Island.]

Claude: [grabs 8-Ball] "Die!" [throws 8-Ball at a cop, takes his M16 and takes out the rest of the cops] "Okay, we're good."

8-Ball: "Just how can you speak NOW of all this time?"

 

Claude: "I never had any dialogues until now, that's all."

Old Oriental Gentleman: "Thank you, take me to Mr. Love."

 

Claude: "WTF? You can speak?"

Old Oriental Gentleman: "Yes, and for the same reason as you."

 

[Claude and 8-Ball steal the Kuruma and take the Old Oriental Gentleman to Donald Love.]

Donald: "Thank you for retrieving my friend. Your enemy Catalina can be found at-"

 

[Before Donald can finish his words, Claude goes to the Staunton Plaza and kills Catalina with a headshot from the M16.]

Miguel: "Holy bedsheet! What have you done?"

Claude: "I saved you from Catalina's betrayal and Asuka's torture."

 

Miguel: "Whatever. Thanks, and see you around, I hope." [leaves.]

Claude: "Right."

 

THE END

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Americana
 

Title: Russian Conversation

(Niko enters the warehouse)

Dimitri: Hey, Niko. Glad you could make it.

Niko: Yes. You got the money?

Dimitri: Sure. 

Niko: Good

Dimitri: Yes. 

Niko: Okay.

Dimitri: You are Niko Bellic, correct?

Niko: Yes.

(Bulgarin enters the warehouse)

Bulgarin: Hello, Niko.

Niko: Hello... Mr. Bulgarin.

Bulgarin: Where's our money?

Niko: I don't know. I didn't rob you.

Bulgarin: Really?

Niko: Yes.

Bulgarin: Understandable. Have a nice day.

 


Edited by Americana
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Staunton Assassin
Spoiler

Title: Revenge Ending - Enhanced PS5 Edition

Type: Ruined existing GTA scene

 

Transcript:
 

[Niko and Kate pull over in front of the church in Suffolk in a black Stretch E.]

Niko: [turns off the car's engine and looks at the other side of the road with extreme paranoia] "Something isn't right here..."

Kate: "Did you say something?"

 

Niko: "Nothing. You go in, and raid the buffet or something."

Kate: [giggles] "Very witty. You're a real depression killer, Niko." [exits the car.]

 

Roman: [welcomes Kate at the church entrance] "Well, hello Mr. Kate!"

Kate: "Mr. Kate?"

 

Roman: [laughs] "Ah, I'm merely joking. Anyway, I am Roman Bellic. Niko's cousin and of course, Mallorie's groom."

Kate: [shakes hands with Roman] "Nice to meet you, Mr. Roman."

 

Roman: "Say, do you like bowling?"

Kate: "Uh..." [turns to Niko, who shows her a thumbs up sign, and turns back to Roman] "Yes."

 

Roman: "Oh, so you've infected her with the bowling addiction already, eh cousin?"

Niko: "Yes, the same way you infected me. Listen, you guys go inside while I go park this car and rejoin you."

 

Roman: "Okay, cousin." [takes Kate inside] "Come on, let's get me married."

Niko: [gets the car in ignition and sighs] "God knows what that Pegorino is up to."

 

[Niko drives around to the back of the block, parks the car, turns off the car's engine, makes sure all windows are rolled up and all doors are closed and gets out of the car.]

Niko: [pulls out his cell phone, closes the car's door and starts walking back to the church while dialing Patrick's number with his cell phone] "Okay..." [calls Patrick] "Hello, Packie? I need some fireworks for my cousin Roman's wedding."

 

[The camera cuts to Patrick riding by the church on a bicycle and dropping a small cardboard box on the side of the road opposite to the church's entrance.]

[Moments later, Niko, Kate, Roman, Mallorie, Brucie, Little Jacob and Real Badman exit the church, celebrating the wedding.]

 

[An angry Jimmy Pegorino shows up in a car on the other side of the road, parking the car right above the cardboard box.]

Pegorino: [lowers the car's window and aims at Niko with an AK-47] "Die, you traitorous scumbag!"

Niko: "Oh, really?!" [pulls out a detonator and sets off Patrick's explosives, Pegorino dies in the car explosion on the spot.]

 

Kate: "OH, MY GOD! Niko, what was that?!"

Niko: [turns to Kate and throws the detonator up into the air while Luis is coming on foot in the background] "Dial B-"

 

Luis: [the detonator hits him in the head] "OYE!" [falls unconscious.]

Niko: "...For bomb!"

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Fake Lilina
4 hours ago, Staunton Assassin said:
  Hide contents

Title: Revenge Ending - Enhanced PS5 Edition

Type: Ruined existing GTA scene

 

Transcript:
 

[Niko and Kate pull over in front of the church in Suffolk in a black Stretch E.]

Niko: [turns off the car's engine and looks at the other side of the road with extreme paranoia] "Something isn't right here..."

Kate: "Did you say something?"

 

Niko: "Nothing. You go in, and raid the buffet or something."

Kate: [giggles] "Very witty. You're a real depression killer, Niko." [exits the car.]

 

Roman: [welcomes Kate at the church entrance] "Well, hello Mr. Kate!"

Kate: "Mr. Kate?"

 

Roman: [laughs] "Ah, I'm merely joking. Anyway, I am Roman Bellic. Niko's cousin and of course, Mallorie's groom."

Kate: [shakes hands with Roman] "Nice to meet you, Mr. Roman."

 

Roman: "Say, do you like bowling?"

Kate: "Uh..." [turns to Niko, who shows her a thumbs up sign, and turns back to Roman] "Yes."

 

Roman: "Oh, so you've infected her with the bowling addiction already, eh cousin?"

Niko: "Yes, the same way you infected me. Listen, you guys go inside while I go park this car and rejoin you."

 

Roman: "Okay, cousin." [takes Kate inside] "Come on, let's get me married."

Niko: [gets the car in ignition and sighs] "God knows what that Pegorino is up to."

 

[Niko drives around to the back of the block, parks the car, turns off the car's engine, makes sure all windows are rolled up and all doors are closed and gets out of the car.]

Niko: [pulls out his cell phone, closes the car's door and starts walking back to the church while dialing Patrick's number with his cell phone] "Okay..." [calls Patrick] "Hello, Packie? I need some fireworks for my cousin Roman's wedding."

 

[The camera cuts to Patrick riding by the church on a bicycle and dropping a small cardboard box on the side of the road opposite to the church's entrance.]

[Moments later, Niko, Kate, Roman, Mallorie, Brucie, Little Jacob and Real Badman exit the church, celebrating the wedding.]

 

[An angry Jimmy Pegorino shows up in a car on the other side of the road, parking the car right above the cardboard box.]

Pegorino: [lowers the car's window and aims at Niko with an AK-47] "Die, you traitorous scumbag!"

Niko: "Oh, really?!" [pulls out a detonator and sets off Patrick's explosives, Pegorino dies in the car explosion on the spot.]

 

Kate: "OH, MY GOD! Niko, what was that?!"

Niko: [turns to Kate and throws the detonator up into the air while Luis is coming on foot in the background] "Dial B-"

 

Luis: [the detonator hits him in the head] "OYE!" [falls unconscious.]

Niko: "...For bomb!"

Kate lives.

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