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Ruin-A-Scene


Staunton Assassin

Recommended Posts

Staunton Assassin

Hey, whassup, y'all? Welcome to "Ruin-A-Scene"! As the name suggests, you have to write a transcript of any GTA scene, or at least a part of it, and then just totally ruin it with lots of randomness and comedy added into it. Alternatively, you can also write short, random and funny GTA scenes of your own instead of ruining the original and existing ones.

 

Here are a few rules to abide before you get playing:

 

- Always place each and every transcript you create into a Spoiler tab. Click on the eye icon in the editor when making/editing a post to create a Spoiler tab and then copy and paste your transcript into the tab.

- Each transcript, be it of a ruined existing GTA scene or a ruined custom GTA scene, must be placed into it's own and separate Spoiler tab.

- You should give your transcripts a funny title by adding "Title:" above each transcript and entering the title after it.

- You should distinguish between a ruined existing GTA scene transcript and a ruined custom GTA scene transcript by adding "Type:" above each transcript and entering either "Ruined existing GTA scene" or "Ruined custom GTA scene" after it.

- Each transcript should have "Transcript:" above it.

- Try not to write transcripts that are WAY TOO LONG.

- You can write as many ruined existing GTA scenes and ruined custom GTA scenes as you like.

- Try not to write WAY TOO MANY transcripts.

- Try your best to be completely original and come up with unique stories that haven't been written yet.

- The game is not turn-based. You can post your transcripts at any given time.

 

Anyway, with that said and done, let's mess up some scenes and create some messed up scenes of our own, transcript style! Take your time to look at these transcripts carefully and try to understand and learn the correct format of posting your transcripts.

 

Spoiler

Title: The Untimely and Unintended Kenji Kasen Assassination

Type: Ruined existing GTA scene

 

Transcript:

 

[Claude goes to see Kenji on the rooftop garden of Kenji's Casino.]

[Claude and Kenji walk up to each other and bow to each other as per the Japanese traditions of welcoming a person.]

[However, Claude accidentally bows too hard and ends up headbutting Kenji.]

 

[Kenji's head explodes with a very loud explosion sound that is heard everywhere in the 3D-era universe.]

[Not to mention the high-pressured air blast caused by the air inside Kenji's head.]

[And due to the air loss, Kenji's head deflates completely.]

 

Spoiler

Title: You Want The Chainsaw, Gringo?

Type: Ruined custom GTA scene

 

Transcript:

 

[Claude is stuck in a furious, one-against-one-zillion shootout with Colombian Cartel gang members armed with AK-47s.]

A random Colombian for no reason: "You want the chainsaw, gringo?"

Claude: [drops his Colt .45 and pulls out his wallet] "How much?"

Edited by Staunton Assassin
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DOUGL4S1
Spoiler

Title: BDSMerchant

 

Dave: Daddy's back, you bitcheeees!!

Niko: Dave, c'mon. Come on, Dave!

Hossam: Niko, what are you doing?

Niko: I want to join in and they're not letting me!

Hossam: ...

 

Later:

 

Roman: Oooh, mystery man... strange and exotic sailor! What happened? Did your captain made you pregnant?

Niko: No. Actually, it was a fellow sailor.

Roman: ...

Niko: What? It gets lonely in those ships!

 

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Americana
 

Title: Wrong House

(Carl Johnson, who has worked in Liberty City for 5 years, comes back to Los Santos.)


Carl Johnson: Ah, Grove Street. Home. 

(Carl Johnson enters the house)

Carl Johnson: Wait... is this even my house?

Inhabitant: You picked the wrong house, fool!


Carl Johnson: True, sorry. I must have been mistaken.

Inhabitant: Get out, now.

Carl Johnson: Yeah, sure. Sorry, man. My mistake...

(Carl Johnson gets kicked out of the house)

Carl Johnson: Ah, yes. I have been mistaken. My house is over there. What a story.

 


 

 

 

 

 

Edited by Ronald Reagan
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universetwisters



Title - Tommy sh*ts in Kens car and Ken gets angry

 

Ken: Hey wassup tommy and Harry and lee I’m taking y’all to the drug meet get in

 

-all of them get in Kens car and drive to the meet-

 

Ken: So they’re brothers alright? One operates the business and the other does the flying EURRRRGH what’s that smell!!!?!?!

 

Tommy: Sorry that was me I sh*t myself

 

Ken: what the f*ck Tommy you’re an adult

 

Tommy: Well forgive me, ken! I spent 15 years in jail and my asshole is as loose as an ill fitting glove and I have ZERO warning when I’m gonna sh*t!

 

Ken: f*ck!!!!

 

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Staunton Assassin
Spoiler

Title: Hungry Toni

Type: Ruined existing GTA scene

 

Transcript:

 

[Donald is eating some "meat" in front of Toni.]

Donald: "My God, this is good. It tastes just like chicken, but some how, more, err, sentient. You want some?"

Toni: [extremely hungry and drooling over the "meat"] "GIMME THAT!" [steals Donald's plate of "meat" and starts eating the "meat" like crazy.]

 

[Donald watches Toni eat all of the "meat" silently with a very huge WTF expression on his face.]

Donald: [waits until Toni has finished eating] "Uh, Toni?"

Toni: [with his mouth full of "meat"] "What?" [licks his fingers.]

 

Donald: "Now, you do realize that was human meat, and not chicken?"

Toni: [dies.]

Edited by The Eddo
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Americana
6 hours ago, universetwisters said:

 

  Hide contents

 

 


I poke my head out of the gutter for one freakin' second and Tommy shovels sh*t in my car!

 


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Staunton Assassin
Spoiler

Title: Stub Out

Type: Ruined existing GTA scene

 

Transcript:

 

[Tommy and Lance are about to kill Diaz.]

Diaz: "I trusted you, Tommy-" [coughs] "I WOULDA HAD YOU MADE!"

Tommy: [begins reconsidering] "Hmm."

 

[The camera cuts to Diaz arriving at Marco's Bistro in Liberty City. Diaz walks into the restaurant, shoots Sonny Forelli in the head and runs away with Tommy's extremely fast sprinting animation applied on him.]

 

[The camera cuts to Tommy sitting on a couch in the Vercetti Estate in Vice City.]

Tommy: "Diaz! Bring me a cup of tea."

Diaz: [wearing a butler's outfit] "SIR, YES SIR!" [runs towards the kitchen.]

Edited by The Eddo
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universetwisters




SCENE - Toni catches his mom blowing Vincenzo

 

Vincenzo: *on phone* Sho mama Ill call ya later-

 

Toni: Hey Vincenzo-

 

Vincenzo: Yea Ive been a good boy OH f*ck IM NUTTING. *hangs up the phone* Alright Mrs Cipriani, give it a rest now 

 

*Tonis mom comes up from under the desk*

Toni: What the f*ck mom why are you blowing him

Tonis Mom: Because I gotta be reminded WHAT A REAL MAN is like

 

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Staunton Assassin
13 minutes ago, universetwisters said:

 

  Reveal hidden contents

 

 

I'm looking forward to seeing a transcript of your "Toni killed CJ" theory. I wonder how you'll mess that up.

Edited by The Eddo
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universetwisters
2 minutes ago, The Eddo said:

I'm looking forward to seeing a transcript of your "Toni killed CJ" theory. I wonder how you'll mess that up.

 

More like how I'll perfect it amirite

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Staunton Assassin
Spoiler

Title: In Silence... DIAL 911!

Type: Ruined existing GTA scene

 

Transcript:

 

[Avery and Tommy are sitting in the back of Avery's limousine.]

Avery: "Would you like a drop of the old Kentucky?"

Tommy: "YEAH!" [grabs the bottle from Avery before he hands it to Tommy and starts drinking from the bottle hysterically.]

 

[Avery watches Tommy drink the entire bottle silently with a very huge WTF expression on his face.]

Avery: [waits until Tommy has finished drinking] "Uh, son?"

Tommy: "What?" [wipes his mouth.]

 

Avery: "Now, what if I told you... that was the Kentucky Tomato Ketchup?"

Tommy: "WHAT?!" [notices his mouth on fire and burning heavily] "AH!" [exits the limo and starts running around the construction site like crazy while screaming like an idiot.]

 

Avery: [quickly pulls out his cell phone and hysterically tries to dial the fire department's number] "Oh, my wig!" [puts his phone near his ear and waits for the fire department to pick up.]

Tommy: [now running around in circles] "AVERY, CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT!"

 

Avery: "Hang on right there, son!"

Firefighter: "Hello, sir, this is the VCFD, how can I help you?"

 

Avery: [watching Tommy as he does absurd stunts to try to put out the fire] "I've got a real serious situation down here at Vice Point! Come down here real quick, and bring whatever water you have! My friend's mouth is burning over here!"

Firefighter: "Vice Point? Hey, are you an idiot or something?! The bridges are closed and there's only one fire station in the whole city! And even that's in Downtown!"

 

Avery: "What?"

Firefighter: "Go to hell, prank caller." [hangs up the phone.]

 

Avery: "Hello? HELLO?! Damn it!" [puts away his phone and knocks on the black glass separating the back of the limo from the front of the limo, the glass lowers] "Hey, why don't you do something?"

Chauffeur: "What do you want me to do?"

 

Avery: "We gotta go find some water, let's go!"

Chauffeur: "Okay, okay, calm down." [starts up the limo.]

 

Avery: "Don't worry, Tommy! We'll be back in a while!"

Chauffeur: [the limo's engine ceases] "Oh, damn."

 

Avery: [sarcastically] "Excellent!"

Chauffeur: [starts pressing random buttons on the dashboard] "Come on, hurry up! Even a horse ain't so hard to handle back in the old Texas." [the limo fails to start, but instead starts playing a very loud and heavily bass-boosted version of "She's On Fire" by Amy Holland.]

 

[Avery and his chauffeur stare at each other with very huge WTF expressions on their faces.]

[Tommy starts dancing surprisingly well to the song while providing proper lip-sync in a flop attempt to put out the fire. Avery and his chauffeur stare at him with very huge WTF expressions on their faces while Tommy himself has a very huge WTF expression on his face.]

 

[The song plays from start to the end. While the song is playing, a very long montage consisting of Tommy dancing, Avery and his chauffeur watching Tommy and all of the population of Vice City being heavily annoyed by the song is shown. The song is loudly and clearly audible everywhere in the 3D-era universe.]

[Near the end of the song, at the point where "AND SHE'S BURNING!" is sung, people of Vice City get so annoyed that they open the bridges to the Vice City Mainland. A Firetruck finally arrives and sprays a sh*tload of water into Tommy's mouth, putting out the fire.]

Tommy: "OH, THANK GOD!" [falls onto the ground, KOed. The song stops playing.]

Edited by The Eddo
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Evil empire
2 hours ago, The Eddo said:
  Hide contents

Title: In Silence... CALL 911!

Type: GTA scene

 

Transcript:

 

[Avery and Tommy are sitting in Avery's limousine.]

Avery: "Would you like a drop of the old Kentucky?"

Tommy: "YEAH!" [grabs the bottle from Avery before he hands it to Tommy and starts drinking from the bottle hysterically.]

 

[Avery watches Tommy drink the entire bottle silently with a huge WTF expression on his face.]

Avery: [waits until Tommy has finished drinking] "Uh, son?"

Tommy: "What?" [wipes his mouth.]

 

Avery: "Now, what if I told you... that was the Kentucky Tomato Ketchup?"

Tommy: "WHAT?!" [notices his mouth on fire and burning heavily] "AHH!" [exits the limo and starts running around the construction site like crazy while screaming like an idiot.]

 

Avery: [quickly pulls out his cell phone and hysterically tries to dial the fire department's number] "Oh, my wig!" [puts his phone near his ear and waits for the fire department to pick up.]

Tommy: [now running around in circles] "AVERY, CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT!"

 

Avery: "Hang on right there, son!"

Firefighter: "Hello, sir, this is the VCFD, how can I help you?"

 

Avery: [watching Tommy as he does absurd stunts to try to put out the fire] "I've got a real serious situation down here at Vice Point! Come down here real quick, and bring whatever water you have! My friend's mouth is burning over here!"

Firefighter: "Vice Point? Hey, are you an idiot or something?! The bridges are closed and there's only one fire station in the whole city! And even that's in Downtown!"

 

Avery: "What?"

Firefighter: "Go to hell, prank caller." [hangs up the phone.]

 

Avery: "Hello? HELLO?! Damn it!" [puts away his phone and knocks on the glass separating the backseat from the driverseat, the glass lowers] "Hey, why don't you do something?"

Chauffeur: "What do you want me to do?"

 

Avery: "We gotta go find some water, let's go!"

Chauffeur: 'Okay, okay, calm down." [starts up the limo.]

 

Avery: "Don't worry, Tommy! We'll be back in a while!"

Chauffeur: [the limo's engine ceases] "Oh, damn."

 

Avery: [sarcastically] "Excellent!"

Chauffeur: [starts pressing random buttons on the dashboard] "Come on, hurry up! Even a horse ain't so hard to handle back in the old Texas." [the limo fails to start, but instead starts playing a very loud and heavily bass-boosted version of "She's On Fire" by Amy Holland.]

 

[Avery and his chauffeur stare at each other with WTF expressions on their faces.]

[Tommy starts dancing surprisingly well to the song while providing proper lip-sync in a flop attempt to put out the fire. Avery and his chauffeur stare at him with very huge WTF expressions on their faces while Tommy himself has a very huge WTF expression on his face.]

 

[The song plays from start to the end. While the song is playing, a very long montage consisting of Tommy dancing, Avery and his chauffeur watching Tommy and all of the population of Vice City being heavily annoyed by the song is shown. The song is loudly and clearly audible everywhere in the 3D-era universe.]

[Near the end of the song, at the point where "AND SHE'S BURNING!" is sung, people of Vice City get so annoyed that they open the bridges to the Vice City Mainland. A Firetruck finally arrives and sprays a sh*tload of water into Tommy's mouth, putting out the fire.]

Tommy: "OH, THANK GOD!" [falls to the ground, KOed. The song stops playing.]

Excellent! 39.gif

 

Spoiler

Title: Los sepulcros' deadly dance

 

Type: GTA scene

 

CJ, Sweet and some GSF homies arrive at the Los Santos cemetery in the middle of the night to kill Kane as he attends Little Weasel's funeral. They climb the wall and hide behind some tombstones.

 

Kane arrives in his Greenwood, CJ stands up ready to shoot and Kane notices him, suddenly the radio starts playing Michael Jackson's Thriller. The deads rise from their tombs and everyone feels bewitched, totally controlled by the music and starts dancing like voodoo zombies, even an Asian monk-like guy with a round hat and a white lotus dances among the dead, the GSF and the Ballas.

 

When the music stops a voice coming from nowhere yells "Finish him!" and the Asian guy throws his hat to Kane and beheads him.

 

CJ looks the scene astounded.

-We did it bro, let's get out!

Sweet: -You're joking you fool?! You didn't protect Bryan, you let Beverly die and now it's that random guy who kills Kane instead of you.

CJ: But I...........

Sweet: Shut up! You're no longer a GSF homie, come back in Liberty City, we don't need east coast scum like you!

 

CJ leaves the cemetery and goes in the LSX airport, picks up a dodo and flies to the north east but doesn't notice he's getting closer and closer of the Zone 69, the sol-air missiles explode the plane and kill CJ by the way.

 

The same voice still coming from nowhere yells "Zone 69 wins, fatality!".

 

Game over

 

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Staunton Assassin
Spoiler

Title: Not So Fast A.K.A. WAY TOO FAST

Type: Ruined existing GTA scene

 

Transcript:

 

[Niko, Johnny, Issac and his men are on the second floor inside the Libertonian museum, they are doing the legendary diamond deal which is about to go wrong.]

Mori: [inspecting the diamonds held out by Niko] "Issac, these are great!"

Luis: [shows up in a nearby window and shoots Mori dead with an AK-47] "Rest of you motherf*ckers wanna die?! Do something stupid, okay?!"

 

[Beat.]

A mobster: "F*ck you!" [tries to shoot at Luis but gets shot dead, along with a couple of more mobsters.]

Johnny: [takes the money from Issac while Luis is shooting at other mobsters] "Just get the sh*t, man!" [runs away] "C'MON!" [Niko throws the diamonds to Issac and runs away, who quickly takes the diamonds while Luis keeps shooting at him. Only for every single shot fired to miss badly.]

 

[Luis tries to shoot at Issac but he goes into the backroom, getting out of his sight. Luis drops the gun into the museum from the window, climbs into the window, jumps down into the museum and picks up his gun again. Issac quickly rushes his way up to the top of the ladder leading up to the roof of the museum.]

Luis: "OYE! Come back!" [shoots at Issac but he is still badly missing every single shot fired. Luis throws the gun away and goes after Issac on the ladder.]

Issac: [reaches the roof unharmed and sees the golden Buzzard] "Oh, my God! Is that thing real?!" [looks down, sees Luis coming, runs up to the helicopter and gets in as Luis reaches the roof] "HA-HA! See you later, black one!" [flies away as Luis watches him with his jaw dropped all the way down to the ground of Blue Hell.]

Edited by The Eddo
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Evil empire
Spoiler

Title: Fire hot killing

Type: GTA scene

 

Transcript:

[Asuka tells Claude to go kill Salvatore Leone when he goes out of Luigi's Sex club 7.

When Claude arrives on the place and goes to the stairs but Salvatore and his men spot him so Claude discretly puts something in one of his pockets. Salvatore leaves the car and goes to Claude visibly happy and relieved to see him.]

 

Salvatore: Oh Claude glad to see you! Do you remember this car I asked you to take in the Red light district? Well it looks like Curly Bob wasn't the only traitor in this family because someone rigged it. When I heard about the explosion I thought you were dead, fortunately it seems like the victim is one of those stupid dumbass street thugs. By the way have you seen Maria recently? I'm sure that bitch is cheating on me with a woman but anyway we'll fix these problems later. Claude, you're a made man, let's celebrate it in Woody's topless bar!

 

[Claude, Salvatore and the Leone mobsters go in the bar, Claude and Sal sit down in the bar which is filled with bottles and glasses besides many other customers while some others move on the dancefloor.]

 

Salvatore: -2 vodka bottles!

 

[The bartender brings 2 the vodka bottles. While she's leaving a customer nearly makes a bottle fall but Claude grabs the bottle and puts it in his pocket then punches the consumer who runs away scared.

Claude puts a ragged cloth, extracts the bottle from his pockets and pours the content in his glass.]

 

Salvatore: When we have a made man we drink a flambéed vodka!

 

[Salvatore and Claude clink their glasses.]

 

Salvatore: Bottoms up!

 

[Claude drinks the whole glass in one gulp and suddenly realizes the bottle he used to fill his glass is the Molotov cocktail he intended to throw on Salvatore.

Claude feels an intense fire burning him from the inside. The song stops and everybody can hear Sean Kingston sing

"Somebody call 911!
Shawty fire burning on the dance floor!*"

 

Claude who's on fire from the inside runs on the dancefloor desperately trying to reach the taps in the WC but falls on the ground charred as a peace of coal and dead as mutton.

 

The music stops and a voice yells "Absent-mindness wins! Fatality."

 

Game over]

 

*OK Sean Kingston released Fire burning in 2009 whereas GTA 3 takes place in 2001 but I wanted to be original and mention something else than Amy Holland's She's on fire.

 

Edited by Evil empire
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Staunton Assassin
12 hours ago, Evil empire said:
  Reveal hidden contents

Title: Sayonara Salvaore I'll see you back in hell

Type: GTA scene

 

Transcript:

[Asuka tells Claude to go kill Salvatore Leone when he goes out of Luigi's Sex club 7.

When Claude arrives on the place and goes to the stairs but Salvatore and his men spot him. Salvatore leaves the car and goes to Claude visibly happy and relieved to see him.]

 

Salvatore: Oh Claude glad to see you! Do you remember this car I asked you to take in the Red light district? Well it looks like Curly Bob wasn't the only traitor in this family because someone rigged it. When I heard about the explosion I thought you were dead, fortunately it seems like the victim is one of those stupid dumbass street thugs. By the way have you seen Maria recently? I'm sure that bitch is cheating on me with a woman but anyway we'll fix these problems later. Claude, you're a made man, let's celebrate it in Woody's topless bar!

 

[Claude, Salvatore and the Leone mobsters go in the bar, Claude and Sal sit down in the bar which is filled with bottles and glasses besides many other customers while some others move on the dancefloor.]

 

Salvatore: -2 vodka bottles!

 

[The bartender brings 2 the vodka bottles. While she's leaving a customer nearly makes a bottle fall but Claude grabs the bottle and puts it in his pocket then punches the consumer who runs away scared.

Claude puts a ragged cloth, extracts the bottle from his pockets and pours the content in his glass.]

 

Salvatore: When we have a made man we drink a flambéed vodka!

 

[Salvatore and Claude clink their glasses.]

 

Salvatore: Bottoms up!

 

[Claude drinks the whole glass in one gulp and suddenly realizes the bottle he used to fill his glass is the Molotov cocktail he intended to throw on Salvatore.

Claude feels an intense fire burning him from the inside. The song stops and everybody can hear Sean Kingston sing

"Somebody call 911!
Shawty fire burning on the dance floor!*"

 

Claude who's on fire from the inside runs on the dancefloor desperately trying to reach the taps in the WC but falls on the ground charred as a peace of coal and dead as mutton.

 

The music stops and a voice yells "Absent-mindness wins! Fatality."

 

Game over]

 

*OK Sean Kingston released Fire burning in 2009 whereas GTA 3 takes place in 2001 but I wanted to be original and mention something else than Amy Holland's She's on fire.

 

Ah, I see you have taken some inspiration from me. But you should also try to be original and write a unique and funny transcript.:)

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Staunton Assassin
27 minutes ago, Jeansowaty said:

You both really have an epic sense of humor lmao. I may write one too one day.

Good luck!:) And that's exactly what Ruin-A-Scene is for, writing small crackfictions to get big laughs out of GTA scenes.

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Evil empire
Spoiler

 

Title: The badlands' deadly madness

Type: GTA scene

 

[Tenpenny orders CJ to kill a witness who lives in a cabin on mount Chiliad. Carl kills the FBI agents protecting the target who runs away in a washington. CJ pops the tires on a road high on the slopes of the mountain and the witness leaves the vehicle.]

 

Target: -Oh please don't kill me!

CJ: -You really thought you could win against the CRASH you fool?

Target: -I need to denunce them, it's my duty.

CJ: -This is madness.

 

[Suddenly a tall muscular bearded white guy wearing an antique armor appears and looks at CJ with anger.]

Guy in antique armor: Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!

 

[The guy in armor kicks CJ who falls in the emptiness and lands far underneath dead as mutton.

A male voice coming from nowhere yells "Leonidas wins! Fatality.

 

GAME OVER]

 

 

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Staunton Assassin
1 hour ago, Evil empire said:
  Reveal hidden contents

 

Title: The badlands' deadly madness

Type: GTA scene

 

[Tenpenny orders CJ to kill a witness who lives in a cabin on mount Chiliad. Carl kills the FBI agents protecting the target who runs away in a washington. CJ pops the tires on a road high on the slopes of the mountain and the witness leaves the vehicle.]

 

Target: -Oh please don't kill me!

CJ: -You really thought you could win against the CRASH you fool?

Target: -I need to denunce them, it's my duty.

CJ: -This is madness.

 

[Suddenly a tall muscular bearded white guy wearing an antique armor appears and looks at CJ with anger.]

Guy in antique armor: Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!

 

[The guy in armor kicks CJ who falls in the emptiness and lands far underneath dead as mutton.

A male voice coming from nowhere yells "Leonidas wins! Fatality.

 

GAME OVER]

 

 

I've noticed you're giving the transcripts of your scenes the same title used by the missions they're from. You should give your transcripts a unique and funny title. Other than that, good work.:^:

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Evil empire
2 hours ago, The Eddo said:

I've noticed you're giving the transcripts of your scenes the same title used by the missions they're from. You should give your transcripts a unique and funny title. Other than that, good work.:^:

I give them a title looking like the original so those who didn't play the game can make an idea of the mission I distorted.

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Staunton Assassin
2 minutes ago, Evil empire said:

I give them a title looking like the original so those who didn't play the game can make an idea of the mission I distorted.

Well, you should also try to make unique transcript titles. You are free to make whatever you want, however.:)

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Staunton Assassin
Spoiler

Title: The Fat Man Knows Spanish

Type: Ruined existing GTA scene

 

Transcript:

 

[Big Smoke and CJ are inside Big Smoke's Glendale in East Los Santos. CJ is sitting on the driver seat while Big Smoke is sitting on the front passenger seat.]

Big Smoke: [as CJ slowly drives down the road] "Okay, my cousin Mary's in there. Sweet, sticky, bud fresh off the plantation." [points towards two Vagos gang members leaning against a fence in the street] "Hey, pull up here, let me do the talking."

CJ: [pulling over next to the gang members] "Man, I should've known."

 

Big Smoke: "Oye, perdón, José. Soy Gran Humo Y quiero esa hierba, comprende?" [laughs] "T-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh."

Vagos gang member: "Tenpenny te envió?"

 

Big Smoke: "Si."

Vagos gang member: [walks up to the front passenger side door] "De acuerdo, bien. Muy bien. Aquí está." [hands Big Smoke a package through the car door's window.]

 

Big Smoke: [to the Vagos gang member] "Gracias, amigo!" [to CJ] "Okay, CJ, let's shoot back to my crib!"

CJ: "What's in that package, Smoke?"

 

Big Smoke: [starts looking for excuses] "Uh..." [to the Vagos gang member] "Disculpe, José, este hombre te está insultando a ti y a tu familia. ¿Por qué no lo matas?"

Vagos gang member: "Oye! Entonces él piensa que es un hombre grande, ¿eh?" [runs up to the driver side door, opens it, pulls out a Colt .45 and holds CJ at gunpoint] "¡Muere, tonto!" [shoots CJ in the head.]

 

Big Smoke: [kicks CJ out of his car, moves onto the driver seat, closes the door and drives off while laughing hysterically] "BIG SMOKE, BABY, REMEMBER THE NAME!"

Vagos gang member: "Lo haremos, amigo, lo haremos." [drags CJ away.]

Edited by The Eddo
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JetNormalGuy
Spoiler

Title: How GTA SA could've ended

Type:Ruined GTA scene

 

Transcript: Big smoke and CJ arrive at Emmets's place, as they approach him Emmet accidentaly shoots his gun and notices two guys behind him

 (Emmet: Hey! who shot at me? what you kids want?)

 

Emmet shoots the skinny white tank dude without knowing that he killed CJ

 

(Emmet:sh*t! Brian is dead! AGAIN!)

(Smoke:nah dog thats Carl the other one...)

(Emmet:Ahh CJ, well he was a bit of a liability, put him in the trunk, we'll dump him in the ocean)

 

Smoke comes up with a story to tell sweet about what happened to carl and say that he went back to the east coast...

.

Edited by JetNormalGuy
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Spoiler

 

Title: Boomshine Blowout
type: ruined GTA scene

 

transcript

Arthur: I coulda sworn I locked this place up..

*walks over to warehouse and begins to open shutter*

Lenny: ARTHUR, DON'T OPEN THE-

*booby-trap explodes, knocking Arthur flat on the ground and setting warehouse ablaze as the screen fades out*
Arthur: LEEEEEEENY! LENNY! LENNY! LENNY! LENNY!

*scene fades back in after a few seconds as Arthur gets up, the pair now running into the burning warehouse*

Arthur: Scheming cholo 'driscoll bastards bobby trapped mah place..ain't no use running, when that moonshine blows, we're all gonna die..

Lenny: Get a grip! I'll get your damn liquor!!

*Arthur backs horse up towards warehouse as Lenny rushes inside and jumps onto fireproof horse and starts collecting the moonshine*

 

[scene skips to Lenny loading the last batch of moonshine onto Arthur's horse]

 

Arthur: I'd better put these babies in some safe place, huh?

 

[Lenny watches as Arthur commands his faithful horse to giddy-up and they gallop away]

 

 

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Evil empire
Spoiler

 

Title: The tyrannic and the submissive idiots

Type: Custom GTA scene

 

[Tommy has just killed the gangsters who kidnapped Ken Rosenberg in an abandoned Little Haiti bar.

Ken who managed to unleash his ties is on the other side on the counter so Tommy can't see what's on the other side.]

 

Ken: Tommy! I need to tell you that...........

Tommy: Shut up! I'm sick of your bullsh*t. Sit down and relax, we'll see this later.

Ken: But they..........

[Tommy looks at Ken filled with exasperation and points his gun to Ken who walks back and suddenly hits something and falls on a seated position.]

Ken: Tommy I.............

Tommy: Ken shut up unless you're ready to lose 1 of your arms! Do what I told you ; sit down and relax.

[Ken Rosenberg remains silent and visibly looks very nervous and scared.

After one minute Tommy who calmed down takes a look on the other side of the counter, what he sees is Ken sitting down on a detonator with the countdown at 1 second.

The bomb explodes blowing apart Ken and Tommy in a particularly impressing explosion.

A male voice coming from nowhere yells "Misunderstanding and foolishness win! Fatality."]

 

GAME OVER

 

 

Edited by Evil empire
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EkaSwede
Spoiler

Title: Floyd Becomes A Man

 

Type: Ruined GTA V Scene

 

Debra: Bob was right about you, Floyd. You're not a man at all!

 

Floyd: Who's Bob? f*ck Bob! *points at Trevor* And f*ck you, Trevor!

 

Trevor: *glares* What?

 

Floyd: I've had it up to here with your uncouth antics, motherf*cker, and you're getting out of here before I get really angry

 

Trevor: *gets up slowly* The f*ck did you just say to me?

 

Debra: It's too late, Floyd, you're not impressing me.

 

Floyd: *points to the nearest couch* Sit your ass down, Debra! *turns his attention back to Trevor* That's right, you heard what I called you, you unruly piece of garbage. Mother. f*cker

 

Trevor flies into an uncontrollable rage and charges towards Floyd. Floyd calmly catches Trevor's arm and effortlessly flips him over in one swift motion. Trevor scrambles to his feet and throws another punch at Floyd, who counters with a jab, jab, body blow and uppercut followed with a roundhouse kick.

 

Debra: FLOYD!

 

Floyd then grabs a stunned Trevor by his collar and drags him toward the nearest window and knees hi min the balls before opening the window. Then he throws him out the window.

 

Floyd: *dusts hands off* and that takes care of that!

 

Debra: Oh FLOYD, that was so MANLY! Bob was wrong about you!

 

Floyd: Of course, my darling Debra, of course.

 

Cut to Trevor lying on his back on the pavement, still dazed. Suddenly his face twists into a furious expression as he screams

 

Trevor: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHH MICHAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEL THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!

 

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