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Zello

The GTA VI Development team parody thread

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Zello

Inspired by @saintsrow old thread a couple of my old posts and this old thread

 

 

Pretend that you work for Rockstar games and are on the development team for the next Grand Theft Auto installment. You can be yourself, the housers, take two execs, leakers, fake leakers, the possibilities are endless. This is all just for fun.

 

 

Welcome to the world of fake leaks, drama, drugs, sex, and backstabbing. Welcome to Rockstar Games.

 

 

Rockstar Games Boardroom, New York.

 

I was with the team the top brass was in the room. We were having a lot of meetings as we entered into full development. Every meeting was important whether or not we were going to have crouching in the game or add realistic steak we stayed long hours every night going back and fourth on whether or not to keep them or cut them one day we'd agree on keeping them the next day a drunken Dan Houser would say f*ck it all and cut that sh*t out immediately. Tonight was another one of those long meetings that went on all evening we were discussing and arguing about the story.

 

"No no no. Absolutely not. We are not going to have a long story. We're going to make it shorter than GTA V."

 

"But after Red Dead Redemption 2 people are going to be expecting something that long or longer."

 

Dan Houser laughs

 

"Red Dead is not GTA. What we're going to do is make the main campaign 25 missions and immediately after the credits roll the game takes you straight to online."

 

"But how are we going to convince people who aren't fans of online?"

 

"Nonsense all of our fans love online. For those offline bastards we'll just mislead them with the trailers make them think it's a long, engaging deep story that touches on a lot of themes. When actually it's just the tutorial for online."

 

"We can't do that our fans are smart. Not to mention once the leakers get ahold of this and our personal janitors as well they'd crucify us in the media."

 

"Alright fine. I've got a better idea in the corner of the screen we'll have an annoying popup that won't leave that advertises online. It'll be in all the cutscenes. the pause menu, pretty much everywhere."

 

"That works. We can work with that."

 

Edited by Zello
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DOUGL4S1

**Sam and Dan are checking the Leaks, Hints and Speculation thread on GTAForums**

PR Member: "Sam, Dan! We just finished editing the first traier for GTA 6!"

Sam: "Okay."

PR Member: "So, when are you guys planning on releasing it?"

Dan: "That's what we're figuring out!"

PR Member: "On GTAForums? That's a fanbase website."

Sam: "That's a new game we created."

Dan: "Yeah. Every time someone speculates on a date, we delay the announcement by a day. And every fake leak that appears, we delay the announcement by a week!"

PR Member: "So, when is it getting released then?"

Sam: "So far? August 27th, 2025"

PR Member: "Ok, sounds fun, I guess I'll start working on the Bully II trailer then."

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DownInThePMs

Average meeting at Rockstar North offices.

 

 

Edited by DownInTheHole
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jnkmail

damn that would be wild

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Max.pain

Sam: GtaVI will be awesome

Dan: huh? you mean online II?

Sam: yeah whatever

Dan: i think we should also delete our older titles from earth, online forever!!

Sam: that’d be dope, remember to ban those moronic singleplayer fans as well. they don’t deserve to play our games anyway.

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Zello

Guys how can we make more money?

 

I'm still shocked people are hooked with Online after six years! Did we put some cocaine in the game or something? Well whatever we did we need more. 100 times more get people hooked especially on the sharkcards. In fact I want to take people off the dev team and put them on the sharkcard strategy team. Life has become more and more simple for us the more sharkcards we sell the more money we make.

 

f*ck making games! We are no longer video game developers we're salesmen now. So I want you all to go out and get those sharkcard sales numbers up or you're fired!

Edited by Zello
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Max.pain

Dan: (makes a official sharkcard site) #we NEED more SHARKcards

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Black_Jesus

Dan: hey nice portfolio 

 

R* employee: geez thanks

 

Dan: So let's just takes some of those assets and put them in the game.

 

R* employee: But wouldn't the customers see it?

 

Dan: f em

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Zello

GoXGsZU.png

 

 

After all these years we're finally proud to show off the final look of the protagonist. I'm so proud of this team!

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  • fir thi bairns 1

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Zello

This is an old post but what the hell.

 

 

Washington, DC. Secretary of Commerce's office.

 

Strauss Zelnick was meeting with the secretary to save his neck. Already with the release of the GTA Online Casino update he was expecting problems. With laws being passed around the world against lootboxes, online gambling, and microtransactions he was already having pressure everyday expecting the worst of waking up one day and losing an important market it could be one it could be two or it could be all of them. The China tariffs were already making things worse across the video game industry but at least he could still count on the microtransactions from GTA Online and their 2k sports titles which gave easier access to microtransactions to kids and get them hooked at an early age. He didn't just have R* and GTA to worry about but most of Take Two's business has been built from microtransactions.  He hated that those were the things that kept him up at night and made him lose sleep.

 

"Listen to me Mr. Secretary. I need to be sure I have your back. We can't just allow these countries to ban American business. Who the hell are they? What gives them the power to tell us what we can and cannot do?"

 

"Every country is different. My powers don't extend to what happens overseas. We can't regulate everything."

 

"Bullsh*t. You have the power to do whatever the hell you want. If you want to raise the price of corn in Aruba all it'd take is one phone call from you. The problem is microtransactions are the way to make money in my industry and it's spread everywhere even China with Tencent. It's in so deep that if they were to stop we'd all go belly up bankrupt and out of work and that's the last thing we need."

 

"What the f*ck do you want me to do then? Invade them?"

 

"Well...if it's an option send in the troops to collect my microtransaction money by force if needed shake them down and get every single cent that is owed to me. Look put the squeeze on them hard. REAL HARD. Not just overseas but we're also feeling stuff from here back home and the last thing I need is to lose our largest market. I need you to fight anything anti lootbox, anti microtransactions, and anti online gambling. Any bill, any commission, any investigation you kill it. Remember Robert is on the board over at Zenimax and them like us also depend on microtransactions to put bread on the table so when he starts feeling a huge hole in his wallet and can't pay for his bottles of Dom Perignon or get laughed at by his golf buddies at the country club because of your inaction you know who he has on speed dial."

 

The secretary sighed

 

"Fine I'll make some calls and see what I can do."

 

Zelnick leaves the Secretary's office and gets into a backseat of a black Escalade with tinted windows waiting for him outside. He sits down and looks over at Sam Houser who is sitting right beside him as the car pulls off.

 

"So how'd it go?"

 

"You know I hate dealing with politicians. Bunch of crooks all of them."

 

Strauss pours himself a glass of whiskey

 

"Just like you huh. I don't get why you don't get along you seem like a perfect match made for each other."

 

"Oh shut up. Money is always better than power. Power can only last you for so long. The real power is in money. What do you think got these crooks elected? Sure I could get some cushy government job with a corner office and a nice pension but my microtransactions will last for centuries after they're gone."

 

"Speaking of money. We're still working hard on the next GTA and already the next version of GTA online. This is the big one Strauss bigger than the current GTAO."

 

"You say that everytime. What about RDRO huh? How did that go. Not so good without your mighty Benz. When it comes to getting actual real work done you really suck at it."

 

Strauss starts to laugh and is met by a hard smack to the face from Sam.

 

"DONT BRING HIS NAME UP AGAIN!"

 

They rode in silence for a few minutes before Sam continued.

 

"As I was saying. This next version of GTA Online is the big one. I'm going to leave a legacy Strauss. The next GTA and GTA Online will be perfection. Just like when God created the earth and man. We're going to be Gods Strauss."

 

The car finally stopped and Strauss exited he had a black eye. He smoked a cigarette and then went for his jog.

Edited by Zello
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nicktestbranch

Nick Testbranch here, I was recently rehired after some smooth conversations with the Housers. They offered me my sixty-eighth chance on the condition that I stop posting leaks on here, but come on you know why I'm trying for another chance after this one.

 

So the game is set in the United States again, but you actually play as a developer for a huge gaming company. You don't take a car to work, in fact it's like the secret service tend to your every need. In the game, you have to show up for real-time hours everyday, sometimes staying the night. You're developing a mind-blowing game that will be about a game developer in your situation. You soon find out though that this company is not as great as it could be, so you have to find out who the bald guys are and stop this game company. However, you must finish and play the game to make sure it works, and that the game inside of it works, which again is based on the game you're playing, and so it goes....

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Zello

VAscq7J.png

 

My life as a R* insider

 

I went to go meet with Yan at his house. It's been a minute since we last saw each other. Tokyo and all the mess after RDR2 was a blur. I was nervous about meeting with him again we weren't on the best of terms when he sent me down to Tokyo, Sam knew I was leaking stuff and wanted me to give up Yan and Yan had his suspicions. But that was ages ago now and Yan was out of the leak game retired he says he did well for himself he was married now and lived out in a nice mansion in the country.

 

We were sitting down in his porch enjoying a couple of drinks and catching up

 

"Honey give me more lemonade please. So How's life at R* these days now huh?"

 

"Oh you know same old same old. Did you hear Nick Testbranch is back? It's bout to get crazy. Parties every night with that guy. Work forget about it. When he's around the game gets delayed about five times."

 

"Oh yeah that Testbranch guy. Wild crazy guy. New York was made for him that guy loves to party, do coke, and bang hookers. No more of that for me now though I'm retired."

 

"About that listen. I know you've swore off the life of leaking and all. That's not you anymore but I got some stuff you might want to see for old times sake huh?"

 

He gave me a look. It reminded me of the look that Sam gave employees when he got angry.

 

"I don't do that no more. That's not me."

 

I took out a folder that I had with me and gave it to him.

 

"Just a look you don't have to do anything. Just think of it as a peek between two friends. I want you to look at this."

 

He opened the folder and looked at the documents. It was about GTA VI and the protagonist. He gave it one quick glance and then gave it back to me immediately.

 

"I can't."

 

"Alright fine. I respect that man you have changed. No longer the leaker you used to be. Guess it's up to me to leak things myself now."

 

"Look man I don't know your problem. I can't leak anything. Take a look around what do you see?"

 

It took me a while then I saw a black SUV parked nearby up the street, a man in shades walking a dog but staring at Yan the entire time, and a helicopter fly by the house.

 

"I can't do sh*t. So stop trying to get me in more deep sh*t already. I'm not supposed to even have neighbors up here, the real estate agent told me no one lived out here but low and behold all these mysterious people show up just after I buy this property. Whatever you're trying to make me do I told you I can't so stop god damn f*ckin askin!"

 

We just sat in silence drinking our lemonade for a few minutes until Yan broke his silence and told me a story.

 

"A leaker and an insider are strolling along the streets talking about the Garden of eden. The Insider is drinking whiskey as he walks believes that Adam and Eve had every right to take that apple for that if God were kind why would he forbid them from eating that delicious fruit. The leaker just listens and nods. Then the Insider finishes the bottle and throws it on the streets. When the leaker frowns the Insider says Judge not lest ye be judged. When the Leaker frowns again, The insider says, You judge doubly, you sin twice. Where upon God smites the insider dead. The leaker digs the insiders grave. Than that night he witnesses the most beautiful leak ever made."

 

I just sat there trying to understand the meaning of the story and Yan offers me more lemonade. I think he's going to pour me some more in my glass instead he smacks my head with the pitcher breaking it and starts beating me. I thought I was going to die. But Yan spared me. All I remember was him standing over me and saying "f*ckin insider." before I woke up in a hospital.

Edited by Zello
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Zello

 

So the marketing team has all been fired because they were actually doing something we don't do around here, actual work. The Housers didn't like that so Sam was walking down the street and hired Russell Brand his magic show was pretty popular on the sidewalk and they believe the success of his magic show gives him the perfect vision for leading the marketing team so they literally hired him off the street.

 

giphy.gif

The new director of marketing ladies and gentlemen!

 

They gave him $2 million to make a trailer and start a marketing campaign. After months of hard work here is the first trailer for GTA VI

 

OcijxTQ.png?1

 

 

expect more info in a few weeks or so

Edited by Zello
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flawleagle

gta is dead bro. its been chewed up and spat out multiple times. besides, the way rockstar is only about the quick and cheap cashgrabs is more than enough reason to never buy any of their games again. very sad, thats what happens when they bully leslie benzies away. oh well, more money for me.

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Standard Deluxe 59

 Employee 1: "Dude! Did you see sales are still strong? Six years later and they're still going strong."

 

Employee 2 "Yeah man it's great, we're still outselling some new games. Damn!"

 

Zelnick walks in "What's up with the celebrations here?"

 

Employee 1 "Check out this sales chart. It's from the third fiscal quarter. Check out the fourth quarter projections."

 

Zelnick "How many times must I tell you, sales charts aren't as important to me as shark card charts!?" 

 

Employee 2 "Wait, so you're not happy that GTA V is still beating many newer games in sales?"

 

Zelnick "No! Tomorrow I want the damn shark card projection charts on my desk when I get here."

 

Employee 1 "Well sh*t, what's his problem?"

 

Employee 2 "Who cares? Let's go to the strip club, I know a guy there who'll get us in for free."

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Zello

Rockstar Games Holiday Party, Rockstar Games New York.

 

Travis Scott - Highest in the Room was playing very loudly

 

The music was loud, I saw Nick Testbranch in his underwear, he had a lampshade on his head and two women on each arm with coke on the table. Russell Brand, the new head of marketing was doing magic tricks, and Dan Houser was dressed up as a goat and making goat noises. This was a usual day at R* but since it was the holiday party it went twice as hard. Rockstar's parties were always huge and big they invited Travis Scott to perform this year and brought a bunch of the most sexiest strippers in the city. I had done so many drugs that day I lost count. I didn't feel like I was at the party or anywhere at all actually, I felt like I was flying.

 

The room around me dissapeared, and I was up in the clouds flying like a bird making bird noises. I felt free away from the crunch of the next deadline for GTAO and GTA VI work. Away from getting a bad performance review for not getting my sharkcard sales numbers up. I saw all of my coworkers on the ground and like a good bird I took a sh*t on all of them giving them some bird poo and laughing as I flapped my wings. 

 

It took this latina stripper to snap me out of it, she went by Layla I think. She had long dark hair, and some beautiful curves, with a micro bikini and high heels that would drive any man crazy. Already I was excited when I started feeling something in my pants. She was staring at me all night and I finally looked back at her straight into her brown eyes and she motioned with her fingers to come here I started following her to a private room for some "fun". I was about to go into the room just after her when I saw Strauss Zelnick and Sam Houser walk by they both looked pretty angry. It was rare to see a guy like Strauss at an event like this. I kept an eye on them and followed them instead slowly. They went upstairs to Sam's office and they left the door a crack open, I took a small peak in making sure they couldn't see me.

 

"What the hell is the meaning of this? You hired some hobo off the street to run the marketing department? What the feck is going on here?"

 

Sam said nothing and just shook his head

 

"That's not the worst part of it. I hear that you gave him Two million dollars. TWO MILLION! To make a trailer and he makes some bullsh*t that any kid in preschool could do. I'm worried Sam. I don't usually do this but I may have to step in."

 

Sam laughed

 

"Relax. We've already made great progress with the game. Look at my desk we have the protagonist and the story already completed." Sam said pointing to some pictures on his desk.

 

Strauss's face turned red.

 

"WHAT THE feck IS THIS?"

 

Strauss started shouting some more things at Sam but Sam just laughed.

 

"Look Strauss, Honey you are stressed. Forget about GTA VI, Take Two and all that. Tonight is the holiday party. We'll get everything sorted out in a few weeks or so later next year. The janitors are on our side GTA VI will be released on the Nintendo 64, Wii, and PS1 okay. For now enjoy the party. Here have some of this."

 

Sam handed him a joint. Strauss angrily refused.

 

"Not only do you make some joke of whatever the feck that project is but you're doing drugs. Get your feckin act together fast. Or I'll be forced to make some decisions you won't like."

 

Strauss stormed out of the room but didn't see me. Sam took a few hits from his joint and walked out of the room. He saw me and put his arm around me. 

 

"Oh Hey what are you doing up here? The party's downstairs. You wanna hit this?"

 

I took a hit from his joint and I started flying again.

Edited by Zello
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Zello

So the big wigs over at HBO decided to make the upcoming season of Hard Knocks about our marketing department instead of following an NFL team.

 

vSJrznK.jpg?1

 

https://youtu.be/JcfVKgN4Bb0?t=186

 

The Autumn Wind is a pirate
Blustering in from sea,
With a rollicking song, he sweeps along,

Swaggering boisterously.

 

He growls as he storms the country,
A villain big and bold.
And the trees all shake and quiver and quake,
As he robs them of their gold.

 

The Autumn Wind is the rockstar games marketing department,
Pillaging just for fun.
He'll knock you 'round and upside down,
And laugh when he's conquered and won.

 

Edited by Zello
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Zello

 

Employee of the month. That is how you crunch during crunch time by any means necessary.

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Zello

Los Angeles, California.

 

Jim Ryan, Strauss Zelnick, and the Housers were all having dinner at a fancy restaurant on Rodeo drive. Next Gen was just around the corner with The Xbox Series X and the PS5 expected to both come out during the holiday season and both companies wanted to be in the best position possible.

 

"So what the hell happened to Shawn Layden? We may have had our disagreements but I enjoyed doing business with him."

 

"Oh that asshole. He was such a pussy. I beat his ass he was soo ashamed and had to step down and now I'm president of Sony. I've heard the stories about what you guys did to him but trust me you won't be pulling none of that sh*t on me. Expect a lot of changes on how we do business going forward."

 

The Housers looked over at Strauss who was sweating and appeared to be very nervous.

 

"So when PS5 launches this December or November whenever we get a more concrete date, I can't wait for GTA VI to be a launch title. We're trying to hit the ground running next gen and with a heavy hitter like GTA coming out with some Sony exclusive content and our already very strong PS5 launch lineup we'll be unstoppable."

 

Dan and Sam looked at each other, glared at Strauss, then stared at Jim Ryan.

 

"What the f*ck y'all lookin at? Something on my face?"

 

"Umm... GTA VI isn't supposed to be a launch title for the PS5 or the new Xbox either there must be a misunderstanding. We aren't planning to release a new game for a while."

 

Jim Ryan sighed.

 

"Well tough sh*t me and Strauss made a deal. GTA VI better be a PS5 launch title or we're gonna have a problem. We sent over the dev kits a while ago what the f*ck get your asses to work already. I don't know what kinda ship Strauss runs over at Take Two but when we're in business together I expect sh*t to get done. I've got a lot of meetings with EA, Ubisoft, and Activision I'm reaching out to all the third parties to discuss our next gen strategy so please stop wasting my time. You guys better discuss this amongst yourselves or whatever time is f*ckin money."

 

Dan and Sam stand up and go outside Strauss follows them.

 

"WHAT THE f*ck WERE YOU THINKING GOIN BEHIND OUR f*ckIN BACKS!"

 

"I told you. Get your f*ckin act together. I need sh*t done. Every quarter I got to make money for the shareholders and you know 2k is 2k I barely got any heavy hitters on that side. It's all about what you've done for me lately, Red Dead Redemption 2 was strong sure but that was 2018 and I need 2020 money now. RDO just isn't as big as GTAO and slow and steady just doesn't win the race any f*ckin more you gotta take some steroids and PEDs and win all that sh*t immediately like right now. So yes I went behind your f*ckin backs and made a deal with Sony now get up off your lazy asses and get to f*ckin work you don't have much time."

 

Dan and Sam get into a black convertible and drive away with the top down.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4VVTnUglON0

 

The sun was setting in LA. Even if they lived in New York and preferred the fast paced lifestyle of the east coast.The laid back atmosphere of Los Angeles was a nice change of pace. It felt good to get away from the grind of meeting sharkcard sales numbers, and GTA VI production meetings. They drove down the sunset strip as it was all lit up, and saw a couple of celebrities Kendall Jenner was walking her dog, and Justin Bieber with his wife Hailey were trying very hard to avoid the paparazzi. They hated that, the fame, constant attention, they could never picture themselves living like that. It's one of the reasons why they were happy that they chose the Video game industry instead of being involved in music or Film/Television. They could live quiet lives and aside from hardcore video game fans no one would have any idea who they were.

 

The Housers had rented a place out in Beverly Hills.  It was a beautiful place in the hills with a breathtaking view of the city. The Housers went out back and started smoking some weed. Legalized recreational marijuana another thing California had over New York.

 

"Whatever happened to Leslie y'know. Yeah we ended on bad terms. But man he must be happy as hell right now. No Strauss breathing down your neck. Just do your f*ckin work on your own damn time."

 

"Leslie made his choices and we made ours. He hasn't done anything with whatever the f*ck project he's been workin on. He may have freedom sure but if it flops he'll be out on the street and homeless and he can forget about crawling back to me for a job. He burnt that bridge a long ass time ago."

 

"Yeah but he did give us online. The gift that keeps on giving."

 

"It's a blessing and a curse. Whatever the f*ck we do from now on will be judged from the success of Online. Look at RDO. Numbers this numbers that. Strauss gets a boner every quarter when the reports come out and wants even more. So yeah thank you Leslie for giving me headaches and migraines every god damn day.

 

"This whole thing. I'm getting tired of it Sam.  Bitching from Strauss over the next game, work for a couple years on it, release the game, then repeat and now he wants this sh*t done faster. He's out of his goddamn f*ckin mind. I'm putting in my letter of resignation when we get back to New York. I've had enough of this sh*t."

 

"Dan...are you sure? Many people would kill to be in our position and well let's be honest. Your writing has been incredible. If you leave...I"

 

Sam pauses for a moment remembering the darkness.

 

"Don't leave me Dan. Not only are you my brother but who will replace you?"

 

Dan laughs.

 

"Relax. We've got a great team a lot of my guys have learned a lot over the years. You'll be fine."

 

Dan goes back inside and Sam just stares at the lights of LA. He was alone now.

 

Edited by Zello
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Zello

Rockstar Games Motion capture Studio

 

You don't know who I am. I'm not a big time actor, my face is not all over your TV, or have a million followers on twitter, there are no hot instagram models that I'm banging, and I'm definitely not making those big boatloads of money. I take the bus to work everyday, my home is in this studio, and these rubber balls are part of my uniform. I work long hours all day and night, and chances are you don't even know my name...yet.

 

I'm a stuntman. I've gotten some acting gigs under my belt but mostly as an extra on cop shows like CSI or Law & Order and mainly as either a dead body, or a stunt double. Very rarely have I had jobs that required doing actual acting. My Agent runs his office out of a laundromat so anything he manages to get I take. The only offers I've been getting recently were video game roles doing mocap never as the lead but as an extra and beggars can't be choosers. Most of my day is spent recording lines for NPCs which mainly consists of yelling and screaming all day for hours. If I'm not doing that I'm risking my health performing dangerous stunts jumping up and down through the sets they build. Then getting shouted at by the directors who are never satisfied with the takes we do and they demand we do them over and over again. Every now and then some of the higher ups would come down and watch us and if they didn't like what they saw you'd clear out your locker, and be fired.

 

Me and Tim Neff and two other guys were doing a shootout scene today and the higher ups were watching. We'd done this exact scene many times before and did what we usually did we split up into two teams me and Tim Neff vs the other two guys. I was carrying a fake M16 and took cover and started "shooting". We did our best to make it look realistic as possible, pretending to reload the rifle, crouching, getting shot, we ended up putting a show for the higher ups because they seemed to enjoy it. Then they went upstairs to the office and started talking to each other, it felt like something serious was going on. Me and the guys just chilled for a bit and drank some water. Tim Neff started taking a bunch of selfies which we thought were a bad idea the last thing we wanted to do was violate an NDA but he ignored us.

 

A couple minutes later a bald guy came down the stairs, I recognized him only because people said that there were two people you didn't want to cross the bald guy, and the guy with the beard. The bald guy was Dan Houser. It was strange because he came up to me with a smile on his face and extended his hand.

 

"Son how would you like to be the next protagonist of GTA 6?"

Edited by Zello
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GrandTheftAutobot

'Great work guys with last weeks Girls Game Lab. Moving forward I think we should get Greta Thunberg to announce the next GTA in a submarine, to offset any of the critics of the series from the woke media....'

 

 

 

A year ago. A founding member quits. A Take Two executive calls out to him a few weeks later at a car boot sale.....

 

giphy.gif

 

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Zello

The Hookers and coke parties aren't going to be the same without Dan.

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gonnaenodaethat
2 hours ago, Zello said:

The Hookers and coke parties aren't going to be the same without Dan.

 

But the midgets will feel safer

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  • YEE 2
  • fir thi bairns 4

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Black_Jesus

Adds one R* employee I actually know via social media.

13 New Profiles views, 4 website views and a friend request.

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Zello
Posted (edited)

VAscq7J.png

 

My life as a R* Insider

 

New York, NY

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fo781LEHbqc

 

I was meeting with a contact of mine in the basement of a barbershop that I've been going to since I moved to New York. The owner and me became friends and he let me use the basement from time to time for any leaking related business. It was also the only place that I knew was safe. I was paranoid whenever I met with any of my leakers. I didn't trust going to bars, or meeting at parks, or coffee shops. Sam and Strauss would have probably had people following me and the fun ride I've had in the leaking game would be over.

 

With Yan and Fun on their way out of the leaking business I needed someone else to take my information and spread it like a virus. There weren't many good people out there and very quickly I realized that you couldn't trust anyone. One small mistake and you're cleaning out your office and looking for another job. I've had many close calls over the years and Sam already knows or at least I suspect he knows that I've been leaking why he's been letting this go on this long I have no idea. This new guy I was meeting with had connections to the Scottish guy who was shaking up all sorts of trees everywhere making a lot of noise which was perfect and just the thing that I needed. We were both smoking cigarettes in the dark basement.

 

"So what's going on in your neck of the woods?"

 

"Oh you know it's been pretty busy. We've been going through a transitional period since the big bald guy is stepping down. We'll miss him for sure but the career guys are seeing this as an opportunity to move up. I mean who wouldn't want a promotion? Making more money, buy yourself a big ol house, a brand new fancy car, put the kids in private school. Not to mention the power that you get."

 

"Any idea who's taking his place?"

 

"Well it's clearly not me."

 

We both laughed.

 

"Whoever it is though will have to deal with Sam and Strauss, and since they're gonna let them into their circle they're gonna be on a tight leash and even then I don't think Sam will fully trust them. But anyway onto business."

 

I handed him a couple of files and then looked him straight in the eyes.

 

"You get that to the Scottish man okay and whatever you do. Don't mention my name or who you got it from."

 

The man handed over a briefcase with $10,000 inside of it and then looked at his watch.

 

"I've got a flight to catch. Pleasure doing business with you."

 

 

Edited by Zello
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Zello
Posted (edited)

Since he left Dan Houser's office has been empty. Zelnick and his boys were having fun throwing parties in there now that he's gone. Someone wrote "in a few weeks or so." all over the walls in permanent marker and now all the janitors are pissed.

Edited by Zello
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Zello
Posted (edited)

old post but f*ck it

 

Los Angeles, California E3 2014

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5fssD9Da7Xw&feature=emb_title

 

It was late and after midnight. E3 was in full swing and earlier that night Sony announced GTA V was coming to next gen consoles on their stage. It was huge because Rockstar rarely attends E3. To celebrate The Benz and a couple other people went to a bar. The bar that night was full of the biggest names from around the industry. Sitting down with a couple Ubisoft employees was Yves Guilliemot, Andrew Wilson was enjoying a couple drinks by himself, and Hideo Kojima was having a heated conversation on the phone with Konami.

 

Shigeru Myamoto walks in and greets The Benz.

 

"Shigeru!"

 

"The Benz!"

 

"Sit down and have a drink. Give everyone a drink. Hell give those French f*cks over there a drink."

 

Yves Guillemot raises his glass

 

"There's only one Frenchman here. The rest of these guys are from Montreal."

 

"It feels good to be at E3."

 

Sam Houser walks into the bar. It wasn't everyday that Rockstar went to E3 even if it was Sony that made the announcement it was a special moment to see Rockstar here.

 

"Look at this Sam Houser all dressed up and doin the town. Look at this Sammy. Sammy! OH OH. Sammy!"

 

While he didn't look like it. Sam was furious at the Benz for putting his name at end of the GTA online credits. Everyone knows Sam's name always goes last. He hadn't spoken to The Benz in 8 months because of that. He thought The Benz was planning to take Rockstar away from him.

 

"Get over here I ain't seen ya in eight f*cking months. Jesus you look terrific."

 

"Watch the suit watch the suit. This sh*t cost me two thousand bucks."

 

"Watch the suit? I've known ya since the beginning. Don't let those sharkcards get to ya head."

 

"Yeah yeah just don't go bustin my balls okay."

 

"Sam if I was going to bust ya balls I'd tell ya to go get your boombox."

 

Sam Houser's face turns red and everyone at the bar starts laughing.

 

"We used to call him boomboxin Sammy. He'd always walk down the street with that thing. It was the best though you'd see him everyday on the corner bopping his head up and down."

 

"No more boomboxes Benz, I don't know if you heard but I don't do that sh*t no more."

 

"Relax I'm just joking around. I ain't seen ya in 8 f*cking months."

 

"It doesn't seem like it. Especially in front of everyone here."

 

"Jesus I'm sorry it won't happen again I promise. Now go home and get your boombox."

 

Sam Houser smashes his glass and starts shouting at The Benz. The music stops and a couple people held Sam back and escorted him out of the bar.

 

An hour passed and the bar had pretty much emptied out aside from The Benz and a couple Rockstar employees he was talking to them about his vision for GTA online.

 

"It shouldn't just be about sharkcards y'know. Online should be different than any other online experience out there it's how we get people to come back. Just wait until we release heists."

 

Sam Houser sneaks back into the bar and smacks The Benz in the back of the head with a bottle. They both start wrestling on the ground but Sam wins.

 

"I've had enough of your sh*t for years you're fired."

 

Sam left when hes get back to New York He'd say that The Benz was taking a sabbatical then convince Strauss they'd be better without him. When The Benz would show up again after the sabbitical he'd be fired.

Edited by Zello
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Zello

GTA VI is in early development

 

early...development

 

Bv8Jh9r.jpg

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