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[GAME] Describe a mission plot badly.


Grotti Vigilante

Recommended Posts

Pedinhuh

Black gang member helps his nerdy friend against his nerdy nemesis by playing with explosive toys.

 

 

New Model Army, Grand Theft Auto San Andreas

Edited by Pedinhuh
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Grotti Vigilante

Anxious homosexual pimps out his bodyguard on behalf of his mafioso stooge...

 

Boulevard Baby - The Ballad of Gay Tony

Edited by Grotti Vigilante
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Staunton Assassin

A mafia guy protects an enraged crazy midget from random kamikaze black bandits.

Spoiler

Guardian Angels - Vice City

Edited by The Eddo
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Grotti Vigilante
3 hours ago, The Eddo said:

Mafia man kill and cut up fat deli man to sell his meat and prove himself as the big bad mafia man to his mother.

  Reveal hidden contents

Dead Meat - Liberty City Stories

 

Some lonely Japanese girl set her husband's wallet ablaze, not through shopping though.

  Reveal hidden contents

Cash Clash - Liberty City Stories

 

Black man take flight back home in undershirt vest.

  Reveal hidden contents

In the beginning... - San Andreas

 

Black man read magazine and randomly go blow up talcum powder factory.

  Reveal hidden contents

Yay Ka-Boom Boom - San Andreas

 

Mafia man protect enraged crazy midget from random kamikaze black bandits who just wanted some talcum powder to whiten their black bodies and extra funds to spend on their daily routine.

  Reveal hidden contents

Guardian Angels - Vice City

 

Mafia man jump from heli and land on road outside mansion only to get on mansion roof.

  Reveal hidden contents

Phnom Penh '86 - Vice City

 

Vocally troubled man borrow ice cream van from local good man for a while and use childish ice cream jingle to lure baby-like innocent mafia men to explosive death who just wanted to try out new ice cream flavors.

  Reveal hidden contents

I Scream, You Scream - III

 

Vocally troubled man and bald black bomb man raid random base full of unknown armed bandits making new kind of talcum powder. But vocally troubled man got very slow sniper gun and bald black bomb man can't use guns, so winning almost always unlikely.

  Reveal hidden contents

Bomb Da Base: Act II - III

 

Some were obvious based on single words, but you have the right idea. I was especially caught out on the one about the midget and kamikaze gangsters.

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[Ambient]

You (and some other guys) try to do something, but something goes wrong later.

 

Spoiler

GTA V's prologue

 

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DOUGL4S1

You do some small renovations on a construction site's offices, and then kindly helps them fill a hole with concrete. Does anyoe hear screams coming from the ground?

Spoiler

Deconstruction, GTA San Andreas

 

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Staunton Assassin

You allegedly steal some plastic wrapper's boss and then leave him and his wife singing "I'm Too Fat For You (You're Too Fat For Me)!" at the bottom of the sea because an appliance fixer told you to do so.

Spoiler

Management Issues - San Andreas

 

You sell talcum powder while hiding under a vending machine.

Spoiler

Distribution - Vice City

 

Your employer smashes a box of photos before telling you what to do.

Spoiler

The Chase - Vice City

Edited by The Eddo
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DOUGL4S1

You must first smash some wee-woo boxes, but later you have to drive the wee-woo box without smashing it.

 

Spoiler

Intensive Care, GTA San Andreas

 

Edited by DOUGL4S1
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Staunton Assassin

You steal a cop uniform to slip into some locked-down place undetected and get some free coffee and donuts.

Spoiler

Cop Land - Vice City

 

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 2 months later...
Staunton Assassin

You get a brand-new car with an ornament that breathes.

Spoiler

Fender Ketchup - San Andreas

 

You DO NOT take a sea vehicle to a location, even though going there by sea makes sense, considering how the mission's theme suggests something like that.

Spoiler

Dam and Blast - San Andreas

 

EDIT:

 

Sorry for the large bump, it's just that I like this thread.

Edited by The Eddo
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DOUGL4S1

Rich dude gets angry at someone for sh*tposting on the internet.

 

Spoiler

Blog This!... and ...Blog This!, GTA TBoGT.

 

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Staunton Assassin

You try to write something on some papers with your completely empty and inanimate hands, then you drink from a cup filled to the top with nothing except thin air.

Spoiler

Fish in a Barrel - San Andreas

 

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Evil empire

You drive a car with a music band inside very fastly until someone explains he cut some wires so you can slow down.

 

Spoiler

GTA Vice City - Publicity tour

 

EDIT: You go in the airport but you destroy a plane instead of using it to travel then you fight against some angry Latinos, pick up some packages, run away from angry guys in uniform and bring the package into a construction site even if you know it's not going to help at all the building. Once there you discover a dead man because of the staff, a dead woman who used to make battery with the latter and another woman is missing.

 

Spoiler

GTA 3 - S.A.M.

 

Your sister is angry because some dudes compared her with a cop who's the main character in the eponymous series from the 80's so you use a crane and then a concrete solution to ensure the foreman stays in the underground part of the construction site for a long time.

 

Spoiler

GTA San Andreas - Deconstruction

 

Edited by Evil empire
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Staunton Assassin

You pay money to a stall to give you something, and then you try to request for some money from it. The stall guy pulls out an old cannon and then you must go back to somewhere.

Spoiler

Ryder - San Andreas

 

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Evil empire

An asian girl tells you to go to a strip-club without her to prove your loyalty, once there you can throw a cocktail invented in Finland to a dude with Italian origins who's accompanied by a lot of other guys with the same origins.

 

Spoiler

GTA 3 - Sayonara Salvatore

 

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DownInThePMs

A mission that ends with one of the antagonists interpreting "A Piece Of My Heart" a bit too literally.

 

 

Flatliner - CTW

 

Edited by DownInTheHole
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Staunton Assassin

You take a toy wagon full of firework powder to a fish farm so your fat boss can eat some special fish that's fried to begin with.

Spoiler

Blow Fish = III

 

You must go with your fat friend to pick up your fat friend's cousin so you all three can go bowling together.

Spoiler

Running Dog - San Andreas

 

You must first take an extreme hike up to the maximum possible tip of Mount Everest, then you must rest up in a door-less and window-less cabin surrounded by crazed and angry forest gringos who stole suits and war cannons from the city people. Then, you must prove your strength to a man living in the same cabin, who witnessed that some well-made bricks are really good to eat. Finally, you must take some random selfies with that generous man, bid him goodbye, fasten your seatbelt and then slowly WALK all the way back home in the maximum possible amount of slow motion.

Spoiler

Badlands - San Andreas

Edited by The Eddo
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Francesco Bonomo

Dude walks into a bar, dances with an ex-flame, hooks up in the manager office, gets interrupted by the ex-flames boyfriend, Dude shoots the boyfriend in the head.

 

Boulevard Baby, The Ballad of Gay Tony

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Staunton Assassin

A friendly and lawful cop advises you to stop being a criminal and get a honest job as a valet. You take his advice and decide to become a valet, you don't have a valet uniform so you borrow one from a very generous valet you meet. But when you get to work, your first customer refuses to pay so you put some cold food in his trunk and call the police to get him arrested for having cold food in possession.

Spoiler

555 We Tip - San Andreas

 

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Evil empire

A dude of italian origins tells you about a string quartet which is in fact made of con artists. After this you take a dodo to fly even if these birds are now extinct then you go in a sort of shemale. After a shooting sequence with the quartet, you land the plane in the airport.

 

Spoiler

GTA San Andreas - Freefall

 

Edited by Evil empire
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DOUGL4S1

This is a very well-written and carefully tought-out plot device, symbolizing a very important story point where the main character starts to realize that the person he trusted all along isn't that trustworthy. But this mission is mostly remembered because of a meme.

 

Spoiler

Drive-Thru, GTA San Andreas.

 

Edited by DOUGL4S1
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Staunton Assassin

You hop into a car and become a fan of Micheal Jackson in a matter of seconds.

Spoiler

In the beginning... - Vice City

 

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Evil empire

You go see a guy to pick up some vegetables in his farm but when you see some guys who are already high are going to arrive you ensure the frost doesn't damage the gathering by using a cocktail of finnish origin, a thing that reminds you of Granada with an added pin or a sort of flame flower. Then you go in a sort of mother sheep to a neighboorhood whose name reminds you of a drug-addict musician called Pete and an actress called Shannen who's already in Beverly Hills but hasn't been charmed yet. Finally you enter a garage and the mission is over.

 

Spoiler

GTA San Andreas - Are you going to San Fierro?

 

Edited by Evil empire
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Evil empire

You pay a visit to Joe the greasy under a bridge named after a dirty inspector from the east wood. Once there you pick your cargo which is dead as mutton even if it's not a sheep but when you do some guys try to kill you and you need to get rid of them. To complete the job you need to deliver your cargo to the place of the famous " Harwood butcher" even if the guy is the no longer there.

 

Spoiler

GTA 3 - Dead skunk in the trunk

 

You pay a vsiit to a baker called Mitch in the greasy chopper, then your cause the maximum KO's in the city preferably without using any boxing skill, all of this because you want to ensure the security of your love fist.

 

Spoiler

GTA Vice City - Messing with the man

 

You take the arse baron and make a shooting against some guys who make deliveries for Berkeley even if it doesn't have any relationship with the university. To complete the mission you need the arse baron to come in the arse shop before it gets empty.

 

Spoiler

GTA San Andreas - Supply lines

 

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