Cowboys: The Tale of Betty Shore

[Target13]

 

Welcome to Betty Shore, the town that time forgot.

After facing a close call with death, a mercenary sets out to find a new purpose in life and finds himself in the peaceful yet remote town of Betty Shore where he may find the redemption he seeks, albeit at a great price.

 

Click on a title below to download the season, or click on a poster in the spoiler to download the episodes.

 

Spoiler

 

 

 

Spoiler

 

 

Characters

Spoiler

Marcelo Chavez

A natural leader and strategic planner with years of military experience. Facing a major setback after a failed mission, he set out without a goal besides distancing himself from his past and possibly seek a way to atone for his less than honorable actions as a mercenary.

 

John Cooper

The de facto leader and overseer of Betty Shore. He is the latest in a long line of Coopers working to ensure the town’s existence. A good-natured and family oriented man, he is always the first to stand up for his fellow neighbor. Decades of relative peace and quiet have however let down his guard and left him unvigilant of the dangers brought by strangers.

 

Adam Wesley

John Cooper’s closest friend since childhood and most trusted adviser. A family man with a wife and young boy, Adam is the town’s second in command when it comes to taking general decisions. Having John’s ear, he ensures the town functions as it should.

 

Buck Jean

Like Marcelo Chavez, Buck found himself in Betty Shore after trying to escape his past. A Vietnam veteran suffering from PTSD, he is quick to avoid problems and longs for a life far from violence. His military past however has made him a skilled marksman and capable fighter. Albeit a cowardly one.

 

Fred Carlson

A Vietnam veteran who found a home in Betty Shore and a friend in its people after a traumatizing and devastating war. A brilliant handyman, Fred serves as the town’s mechanic. Looking up to John, he made sure to always stand for his fellow man, even if this puts his own life in danger.

 

Sean Phillips

The lowest of scum in Bone County. Sean Phillips is everything from a sex offender to a proud racist. Phillips started as low ranking foot soldier in The Bone County Bikers and quickly climbed the ranks after impressing his boss by being reliable and loyal. Sean got arrested in 2002 and released on parole very recently.

 

Lindsey Palmer

A capable woman who has found herself mixed up with the wrong people. Lindsey has had a long but far from perfect relationship with Sean Phillips, which put her in a very dangerous situation. While appearing to be a damsel in distress, she is a fierce fighter who is determined to protect others from people like Phillips.

 

Doctor Avery Kingston

A natural physician, Doctor Kingston has been Betty Shore’s doctor and general caretaker for most his life since the death of his mother when he was a teenager. He is a member of the Kingston family who like The Coopers have lived in Betty Shore since its founding.

 

Sheriff Bill Westward

Young, naïeve and fiercely loyal, Bill is the Sheriff of Betty Shore. Having served as the town’s only deputy, he took the mantel when the previous sheriff passed of old age. While not much is expected of him, he takes his job very seriously and takes pride in serving his town.

 

Grandma Lisa Cooper

The oldest resident of Betty Shore, Lisa has been John’s caretaker since the premature death of his parents decades earlier. A devoted Christian and kind-hearted woman, she is open to assisting all in need and is generally accepting of outsiders. Her youth however has taught her to be strong. In John and Adam’s absence, she is usually considered the town’s leader.

 

Father Michael Montgomery

An old and weary priest having served the church of Betty Shore most his life. Father Michael is the town’s moral compass and as such has taken the burden of guiding its people. Like Grandma Lisa however, he has lived through moments of hardship and understands the luxury of peace. Though his age left him unable to be the dapper man he used to be.

 

Bertha Cooper

The youngest of the bunch, Bertha Cooper is one of the very few people who moved out of Betty Shore. Being John’s daughter, she returns occasionally to catch up with her family and friends. When she is not town however, she is attending law school in Los Santos. As a young woman who genuinely cares for her town, Bertha hopes she can help Betty Shore grow one day with the help of her education.

 

Shawn Davis

A powerful and prominent politician. Shawn Davis grew up with John Cooper in Betty Shore and shared a brotherly bond with him. His ambitions and the will to provide a better life for his family however forced him to leave the town. Something which the current residents are still resentful about. Davis moved to Las Venturas and quickly made a name for himself in the casino business. He eventually ran for public office and became a republican state senator.

 

Eddie Barnes

A friend of Fred Carlson's and a talented military mechanic. Having served in the gulf war, Eddie is very capable of repairing and modifying a vast array of vehicles ranging from motorbikes to tanks. He owns a garage in Bone County and works closely with The Bone County Bikers, ensuring their bikes are always in perfect condition. Despite having a legitimate business agreement with the bikers, he is aware of criminal activities and turns a blind eye to them.

 

Kaine Calinger 

A powerful businessman, Kaine is the current President and CEO of The Bone County Bikers. After years of leading the criminal organization, he met a young lawyer who helped him transform the club into a legitimate brand and started running legitimate businesses. His old age however has caused a major decline in his health and prevented him from running the organization, leaving that burden Sean Phillips.

 

Factions

Spoiler

The People of Betty Shore

A peaceful yet remote town located in Bone County, its residents originally having founded the town based on basic American ideals and principals, internal discord over the years gave the town an isolationist ideology causing the people to distance themselves from the reach of government and corporations. The newer generation of residents have adopted this mindset but are much more easy going when it comes to accepting outsiders. With little to nothing of note happening in the town, the people have become comfortable and unprepared for the threats present in Bone County.

 

The Bone County Bikers

A half legitimate organization of motorbike enthusiasts. The Bone County Bikers run several legitimate businesses in San Andreas, with most of them serving as a front for their illegal contraband. While vicious and powerful in the 90s, The Bikers have grown weaker recently with the authorities closing in on them and their leader Kaine growing ill of old age.

 

Trivia (Spoilers)

Spoiler

Episode One: The Nomad

-As of this episode, Bobby Big is the most recurring character in the T13U outside of single missions. Along with this episode, he also appears in The Fort and The Fort: Buck-L-Up and The Fort: How Bobby Saved Christmas.

-The beginning of this episode takes place during the same day as 'The Fort Carson MC' from The Fort.

-The tag of this episode is Marcelo's Panthers Bike which he abandoned somewhere in the Bone County desert. 

 

Episode Two: Good People

-This episode is this series' equivalent of 'Welcome to Betty Shore' from Cowboys Vs. Bikers.

-This episode sees the return of John Cooper, Adam Wesley, Father Michael and Grandma Lisa from the original mission pack. As well as Carlson Jones who is now portrayed as the younger Fred Carlson.

-Sheriff Bill Westward is a new character, he is however based on the unnamed Sheriff from the original mission pack.

-According to Adam Wesley, Marcelo isn't the first newcomer in Betty Shore. Another unnamed person arrived recently.

-John reveals he has a daughter that Marcelo is yet to meet.

-The tag of this episode is the Jonathan E. Cooper Windmill with the town of Betty Shore in the background.

 

Episode Three: Monday

-This episode is this series' equivalent of 'Local Sunday' from Cowboys Vs. Bikers.

-Unlike the source material, Bertha is John's daughter instead of Fred Carlson's.

-Doctor Kingston reveals John has a second child that he raised along with Bertha as a single father.

-Marcelo reveals that painting is his favorite hobby.

-The Bone County Bikers make their first appearance in the T13U in this episode. They have been referenced multiple times in previous missions and mission-packs.

-The tag of this episode is the Pecker's Feed and Seed Chicken in Las Payasadas.

 

Episode Four: Old Friends Die Hard

-The other newcomer mentioned in episode two is revealed to be Buck Jean.

-Buck makes his first appearance outside of The Fort series. He was previously a main character in The Fort and the protagonist of The Fort: Buck-L-Up.

-The truck Buck works on is the same truck which Bobby Big's crew stole from The Fort Carson Sheriff's Department in 'Deputized' from The Fort. The truck went missing along with Buck in 'Fear The Atomica'.

It is revealed that Buck stole the truck and drove it to Betty Shore.

-This episode marks the second official on-screen meeting between Marcelo Chavez and Buck Jean. They last met in the ending scene of The Fort: Buck-L-Up.

-It is revealed that the office chair Grandma Lisa is always seen sitting on belonged to John's deceased brother.

-The tag of this episode is Buck Jean's truck which he stole from Bobby Big's Crew in Fort Carson.

 

Episode Five: Blood, Sand & Shovel

-This episode takes place during the same day as the previous episode.

-Sean Phillips reveals he has received an eye injury after the events of episode three.

-The execution scene in this episode is based on the Negan introduction from The Walking Dead comics and TV series.

-This episode is the first time Grandma Lisa is not seen sitting on her grandson's chair. 

-Marcelo has received a gunshot wound from the previous episode.

-As of this episode, most of Betty Shore's population has abandoned the town. Leaving only the main characters behind.

-The tag of this episode is Fred Carlson's grave in the Betty Shore Cemetery.

 

Episode Six: Not Beaten Down Just Yet

-This episode is this series' equivalent of 'Protecting Motels' from Cowboys Vs. Bikers.

-This episode takes place a few days after the previous episode.

-This episode takes place during the same day as 'Let's Steal A Tank' from The Fort.

-Eddie Barnes is the fifth The Fort character to appear in this series after Marcelo Chavez, Buck Jean, Bobby Big and Aiden O'Donnel.

-Craig Russels and Aiden O'Donnel are mentioned by Buck Jean as possible associates. Aiden himself has had a cameo in the first episode.

-At the end of this episode, Eddie mentions being called to repair a tank in Fort Carson. He is referring to Craig Russels calling him to repair The Atomica, which he does in 'Fear The Atomica'.

-The tow truck Eddie drives is the same truck which Bobby and Craig use to drive to The Green Palms Oil Refinery after Eddie is gunned down in the finale of The Fort.

-The tag of this episode are the palm trees beside Eddie's Garage.

 

Episode Seven: Davis for San Andreas

-This episode is this series' equivalent of 'Big Shawn' from Cowboys Vs. Bikers.

-Las Venturas makes it first appearance in the T13U in this episode.

-Shawn Davis returns from Cowboys Vs. Bikers, this time appearing as a businessman and politician instead of gang leader.

-Shawn Davis is a republican serving his second term as a state senator for the San Andreas' 1st State Senate district.

-The Senator reveals he has regularly sent money to Grandma Lisa. Just like John, he refers to her as 'memaw', despite not being her grandson.

-Lara Ingberg is based on the real-life Fox News host Laura Ingraham who made controversial remarks regarding legal immigration in 2018.

-Marcelo is revealed to despise Lara Ingberg, calling her 'a racist and a bigot' and 'anti immigration white privileged bitch' while John refers to her as a 'news legend'.

-The tag of this episode is a flag of The United States near The Senator's office.

 

Episode Eight: The Vice Within These Walls

-This is the fourth episode to feature no gameplay.

-This is the first episode in the series where Marcelo, Betty Shore and its residents are absent.

-This episode marks the return of Bertha Cooper, Lindsey Palmer and Sean Phillips after being absent since episode five.

-The entirety of this episode takes place inside The Castle, the headquarters of The Bone County Bikers.

-The Castle makes its first appearance after being mentioned in episode six.

-The Castle shares its name with another criminal headquarters located in East Los Santos, which was featured in 'Panthers: Gangland'.

-It is revealed that Sean kidnapped Bertha to have her serve as a surrogate mother.

-Sam reveals that the bikers have slowly been losing faith in Sean Phillips since his arrest.

-At the end of this episode, a biker warns that people from Betty Shore have launched an assault on The Castle.

-The tag of this episode is Sean Phillips' bed inside The Castle which Bertha has been using since her arrival.

 

Episode Nine: When Castles Fall

-This episode is this series’ equivalent of ‘Saving The Ladies’ from Cowboys Vs. Bikers.
-This episode takes place during the same day as the previous episode.
-This episode takes place during the same day as ‘One Last Shot’ from The Fort.
-When Adam says that Buck’s truck has enough weapons to take on a small army, Buck confirms this was indeed their goal. He is referring to The Panthers.
-John mentions wanting to build enough walls (fortifications) that would satisfy a Liberty City billionaire. This is a reference to President Donald Trump who is a billionaire from New York City and an advocate for a wall on the US-Mexico border. Trump’s T13U counterpart is known as Darren Taft.
-John mentions a VHS tape of The Road Warrior. He is referring to Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior.
-Marcelo subtly breaks the fourth wall when he says that John should pretend he is in an outdated game.
-A yellow Euros is parked inside The Castle. This car is an easter egg to the 2013 Mission of the Year: No Age Limit which featured an indestructible yellow Euros. The car in this episode is indestructible as well. The easter egg car also appeared in ‘Let’s Steal A Tank’ from The Fort.
-The tag of this episode is a crane outside The Castle.

 

Episode Ten: The Last Day of Our New Lives

-This episode is this series' equivalent of 'The Final Fight' from Cowboys Vs. Bikers.

-This episode takes place during the same day as the previous episode as well as a few days later.

-This is the first episode to include multiple missions, having a total of three missions. Two of which feature gameplay.

-The hot rod driven by Marcelo (and later Buck) belongs to Sean Phillips and was stolen from his penthouse at the end of episode nine.

-Father Michael reveals this isn't the first time he has bore arms to fight for Betty Shore.

-Doctor Kingston is the second supporting character to die after Fred Carlson in episode five.

-As of this episode, Marcelo has received catastrophic injuries which will prevent him from ever fighting again.

-Kaine Calinger makes his first appearance in the T13U after being mentioned multiple times in The Fort: Buck-L-Up.

-Kaine mentions a 'nutjob in Fort Carson'. He is referencing Bobby Big, who has had his own conflict with Kaine following the events of Buck-L-Up.

-Fred Carlson is revealed to have been born on August 8th 1950, while Doctor Kingston was born on December 1st 1929. They died on June 14th & 18th 2005 respectively.

-Lindsey reveals she plans on going to Las Venturas to take down The Bone County Bikers and kill Sean Phillips herself. Sheriff Westward intends to join her.

-Lindsey is revealed to have dropped out of medical school.

-Shawn reveals that John has a son.

-Marcelo reveals he has family somewhere east and leaves Betty Shore along with Buck Jean to join them.

-Buck Jean leaves his truck behind to the people of Betty Shore and uses Sean Phillips' hot rod instead.

-As of this episode Adam's Regina, Bertha's Primo and Fred's Picador have been destroyed. The Regina and Primo were destroyed during the Attack on Betty Shore, while the Picador burnt out by the fire that followed.

-Grandma Lisa's Sadler hasn't been destroyed but has obtained serious damages following the Attack on Betty Shore

-The tag of this episode is the Jonathan E. Cooper Windmill.

 

 

This series is a part of The Target13 Universe.

 

 

Based on Cowboys Vs. Bikers.

Edited May 3, 2021 by Target13

[Satourn]

Curious to see absolutely no comments on a thread about perhaps the most hyped project in recent memory. Shame, really, because Target yet again proves his capability with DYOM that places him among the best this community has seen as of now.

 

'Cowboys: The Tale of Betty Shore' has a good start with the first two missions that establish the location and the main characters. No gameplay, but none needed for now since we're only being introduced to the concept of the mission pack and its contents. Eagerly awaiting for the remainder of Season 1, keep up the good work.

 

On the other hand, I'd like to say a few warm words about the T13 Universe as a whole. After completing these two missions I decided to acknowledge the rest of the Universe, starting with one particular project that this mission pack is based on, which is 'Cowboys vs. Bikers', and then playing the other ones. And I gotta say, you've done brilliant work building this world of yours, what with the single MOTW entries and both 'The Fort' projects. This is something I myself wanted to do with 'The Desert Tales', although on a smaller scale, so seeing another designer actually pull this off, and even with the same general setting of San Andreas desert, pleases my heart.

 

One question remains though, is this a sequel to 'Cowboys vs. Bikers' or a reimagining of sorts?

[Target13]

@SatournFan

Thank you for your kind words. I'm glad you enjoyed the first two missions and I look forward to your opinion of the project as a whole when it's complete. Also I would like to thank you for doing something not many people do, which is playing a whole set of other missions just to get caught up with the broader plot. It makes the hassle of writing these stories worth the effort. Admittedly I was wary of your opinion on the T13 Universe in general as you have been rather critical lately but I'm glad my work has left a good impression on you. Constructive criticism is always welcome, mind you.

 

As for your question, this project is a reimagining of Cowboys vs. Bikers wherein the story has been rewritten to be more grounded and realistic as well as integrating it into the T13U. As stated in the T13U thread, all missions prior to The Fort aren't considered canon.

[SeanAlgerian]

I liked and enjoyed the two episodes. the names of episodes have a really true meaning, And they are really like Cowboys vs Bikers. Marcelo is a good try hard Protagonist to be, also you gives him good qualities which I like it, and The John return is specially perfect. What I most liked that the story based on Betty Shore, a real tales of a cowboy.

 

 

Good job Target13, hope the other episodes will be fantastical of cowboys

[Killer_Queen_37]

Deliberate, didactic, and sensational. This is truly interesting. I will make sure to play it once I have the time. More importantly, I will make sure to support you for this project. Hopefully, more people will be interested as this is, in my own words, a spectacular work of art. Good luck!

[DroidX]

I recently played all the missions and have to say its pretty good that someone is doing a story like this. cant wait for the next one

[SeanAlgerian]

Spoiler

Fred death was really emotional, he would played a big role in the plot, waiting for next season, Good luck.

 

Edited December 23, 2018 by Seth

[Target13]

@Seth

Please use a spoiler tag. 

[M.B. Kovas]

Anyone who doesn't want minor spoilers, don't read.

 

Took my time to play this through and, needless to say, I have enjoyed for what it was. I wish to stay away from being biased and can't deny that the bigger part of my enjoyment was based on the fact that the rest of the showroom right now seriously lacks genuinely original storylines, however this project had it's fair share of good traits aswell - those that make one a little more outstanding compared to others. After playing the first two missions, I quickly noticed that this project won't be about that generic gameplay, whether it's concerned around shootouts that have no meaning or driving a car from point A to B. Character development is the main factor and most significant trait of season 1 as of yet, and that's what I usually enjoy out of a good mission pack - profound storytelling. After physically confronting our first antagonistic character in midseason, the thing that really gave me punch was the fact that he appeared later in his full might, which, to me, was quite unexpected. This was probably the best part out of the missions so far, given how the protagonist had a taste of what consequences might follow our acts of "justice", and not necessarely those out in the wild western desert.

 

All I can say right now is that you're doing a good job assuming initiative to bring something new in this place.

However, I can't let the fact that there's a lot of TWD in the project go unnoticed. As far as I can tell, mostly everything, including the execution of Fred, the line up, and the follow up to that moment after taking out some bad guys and feeling victorious and unstoppable... was purely based on the second half of TWD's Season 6. All I'm saying is that for someone who has watched the show, it instantly makes me slightly drop appreciation for the project's originality. Hopefully you take it constructively, not personally.

[Target13]

@MartZ2

Thank you for your post. I really appreciate all feedback given. I am glad you enjoyed the first season and look forward to your opinion on whats yet to come. This mission-pack is more of an experiment to see if a story focused project would be well received, therefore I am really happy you enjoyed it. This is strange waters for me as all my past work has generally been based around the same type of gameplay you mentioned above, especially when it comes to The Fort. 

 

Spoiler

Regarding your concern about elements inspired by The Walking Dead, I understand you completely. However the idea to recreate the Negan scene in DYOM came to me ever since I read the comic even before the sixth season aired. Personally I am satisfied with the scene since it hasn't been done in DYOM before. Besides that, I am confident you will find the remainder of this series to be original.

 

Again, thanks a lot for your feedback.

[Arcanos]

I Just played all missions  and waiting for season 2 

Spoiler warning.

Spoiler

The first 2 missions are like a movie. I just picked up my foods and eated while watching. Its more like im watcing a tv series. I liked that but it would be more better if you added a background music. I hope it will be added at season 2 .

And my favorite part is last mission because of The Walking Dead parody.

 

Edited December 24, 2018 by Arcanos

[Killer_Queen_37]

Wow. I'm out of words. I'm not really into action genre so I wasn't expecting that much from it even though the presentation of the story in this topic was great. Only now did I realise that what I was always expecting from the story was the intensity of the conflict, and damn, that was excellent. Even though most missions in the first season were cutscenes, I understand since I'm sure that it is only serves as an introduction. Well, I wouldn't go detail by detail with my review since it's just the first season for now. All in all, the first season was excellent and I'm expecting more from the next seasons. Good luck.

 

My rating:

5/5

[omigawail]

Major Spoilers below

 

Sorry for the late post, I had to play through the missionpack many times to catch all the references, and that's after playing the other Target13 World MP's right before.

 

My expectations were already very high, but it surprisingly exceeded them.

 

The missionpack knows how and when to take itself seriously, the characters are relatable and realistic, though I was wondering why Marcelo was still wearing his military uniform if he wanted to let go of that life so badly.

 

The first mission was breathtaking, and I was on the edge of my seat feeling like I was watching a movie. Nevertheless, I felt that it was lacking something. It desperately needs a soundtrack. It is the introduction mission, a song or OST that fits thematically would help set the mood and genre of the missionpack for the player, and also add to the cinematic feel of the first couple missions.

 

The second mission is essentially a continuation of the first, it also serves as an introduction, only this time to Betty Shore and it's residents. Unlike most missionpacks, this one is not an epic global war or 90's action movie recreation. It is a down-to-earth, small-scale, slow-paced story about ordinary people facing realistic obstacles. The mission portrays this idea very well, but it is long unlike the first one. Little checkpoint or Timeout objectives to split the cinematics into chunks would help make the mission less uninteractive and also makes watching the cinematics less of a drag.

 

The third mission is in my opinion the best one of the five. We see Marcelo and Freddy reflect on their life, and it really helps relate to the two characters and makes Fred's *cough* future death *cough* a lot more emotional. It is also not a strictly cinematic mission unlike the first two. The driving sequence gives information about the story while also requiring input from the player to keep them engaged. The fist fight (totally PG-13 btw), like everything in the missionpack, is simple and gets the job done. The way Fred talks to the girl is a bit creepy though...

 

I was wondering when Buck or Bobby would show up, but Buck as a citizen in Betty Shore was the lowest on my speculation list! Still the same man, which says a lot about him and his quest to "change". The missionpack starts taking off from here with the tension between Betty Shore's people about the thot, and the rivalry between the contrasting Marcelo and Buck. It all itensifies until the downfall and the tragic ending, which left me feeling empty, like the missionpack was lacking closure... I expected a happy ending, but it was not, it was brutal, horrific, definitely not usual for a DYOM storyline. I have nothing to say about the ending but praise which I'd rather hold until the continuation. But as with the introduction, a soundtrack would be great.

 

RIP in peace Freddy, survived vilVetnam to die at the hands of a white trash junkie. Press F to pay respects.

[Jimmy_Leppard]

Spoiler alert

 

Fantastic. The presentation, the posters, the missions. 

 

It captures the ''Red Dead Redemption'' feel in a few brief moments, yet it differs from it to make it a unique experience. I loved what was basically the two-mission introduction. Not rushed, letting characters shape up nicely. You worked a lot on the dialogues and that's what gave the missions another dimension. The dialogues are a driving force of this mission pack, so naturally, they have to be a strong support beam. Hopefully that continues. Starting out on a small scale is definitely a way to go on this one. It has a lot of potential to grow and branch out which can give you an opportunity to introduce quite a few interesting characters down the line if done right. Bringing other neighbouring small towns into the mix would be the next step, expanding the community further, but keeping the main focus on the town of Betty Shore.

 

On the other hand, Fred's death was emotional, but personally I feel like you should've waited a bit longer with that. But that's just my preference. It doesn't take anything away from the scene as it still ensured the season ended on a strong note.

 

This mission pack should serve everyone as a reminder to what can be accomplished when taking the time with a project.

Edited January 3, 2019 by Jimmy_Leppard

[Target13]

 

Thank you both a lot of your feedback. Having two reviews from respectable designers as yourself makes the time and effort invested in this project very well worth it. Also I appreciate not being put on a pedestal and receiving constructive criticism as that is truly the best way to know what works and what doesn't. Something that this mission-pack is essentially about. Like I stated earlier, The Tales of Betty Shore is an experiment to see if a story oriented project would be as well received as previous entries within the T13U.

 

@omigawail

Spoiler

Marcelo's outfit is mostly tied to GTA San Andreas' limitations. Personally I have not yet found a ped model who fits Marcelo as I want to portray him so I decided to keep him as is. An in-universe explanation could be that events escalated very quickly and left Marcelo focusing on other things rather than his clothes. The whole season spans four days after all.

 

As for adding music, I am still experimenting with audio in missions and want to avoid it until I have found a way to make use of it without it being cheesy. I have not planned to add audio in Season 2 but am definitely looking to use the feature in the project that comes next, whatever that may be. 

 

In terms of interactivity, I am confident you will like what the next season holds, but I will save that for later.

 

@Jimmy_Leppard

Spoiler

I understand that having Fred hang around a little longer would have his death make more of an impact. Unfortunately due to time constraints I had to keep this project short (10 missions), which means that I had to rush his death or the season finale would have left much to be desired.

 

Regarding the surrounding communities, I agree that there are a lot of stories to tell, and they don't necessarily involve violence. This project however (again due to time constraints) will be mainly focusing on the current situation at hand. I am certainly interested in telling more stories but will have to save that for another project.

 

I hope to reveal more story details and gameplay details on the next season this weekend. Thank you for playing!

[RithRake24]

Absolutely loved it. I'm a personal fan of internal references and Easter eggs within missions, and really liked how you brought back previous T13U characters. Waiting intently for Season 2. Also, loved the qualities you gave the protagonist. He's a bit of a thinker, maybe he even overthinks a lot, a bit like how I am. Thanks for an amazing MP.

[Target13]

On 1/17/2019 at 10:15 AM, RithRake24 said:

Absolutely loved it. I'm a personal fan of internal references and Easter eggs within missions, and really liked how you brought back previous T13U characters. Waiting intently for Season 2. Also, loved the qualities you gave the protagonist. He's a bit of a thinker, maybe he even overthinks a lot, a bit like how I am. Thanks for an amazing MP.

I'm glad you enjoyed it! I look forward to your opinion on the next season.

Spoiler

Regarding Marcelo, I am glad you pointed out his overthinking. For most of his life, he has served as a mercenary and was sent to work with the most despicable type of people to fight even more despicable people. So he is not used to the hospitality and warmness of the people of Betty Shore. And when they are hurt after something he has done, he feels an overwhelming sense of responsibility to help make things right.

 

[RithRake24]

6 hours ago, Target13 said:

I'm glad you enjoyed it! I look forward to your opinion on the next season.

  Reveal hidden contents

Regarding Marcelo, I am glad you pointed out his overthinking. For most of his life, he has served as a mercenary and was sent to work with the most despicable type of people to fight even more despicable people. So he is not used to the hospitality and warmness of the people of Betty Shore. And when they are hurt after something he has done, he feels an overwhelming sense of responsibility to help make things right.

 

Well, your explanation of Marcelo within the spoiler tag what I thought of him when playing the missions... Your MP succeeds a lot in showing without telling.

Spoiler

I don't know what was going through your head when you wrote this MP, but I felt bringing back Buck Jean was a quite a smart move. The kind of qualities and characteristics he possesses are almost completely opposite to the qualities of Marcelo, despite both being driven by the same force: wanting to leave their old life behind; this in turn helps amplify the the humanity and gratitude within Marcelo, without having to really use exposition to point that out.

 

Also I liked the sentimental scenes after Fred's killed and the girl is taken away. You don't usually see that in a lot of MPs and those scenes, though some might say they're draggy, I felt those scenes really emphasise that Betty Shore is built on close bonds of understanding and love for each other. 

 

Another thing I really loved is the way you wrote the antagonist. He's not that a usual enemy you find in many other MPs, his mannerisms and dialogue, I found, were quite unique, adding a fresh feel to his character. You've made him a really scary guy for Betty Shore to be up against and I can't wait personally to see what comes of that sadist.

Counting the days to Season 2.

[Target13]

Spoiler

After The Fort: Buck-L-Up, I felt it was important to further dive into Buck's arc and explore his personality and what leads him to eventually betray his closest friend in The Fort. While it may not seem so at first, Marcelo and Buck have a lot in common even to the point where they both leave Fort Carson because of the same man: Bobby Big. Like you stated, these men have the same goal of leaving their lives behind but both work towards the goal in different ways, I thought it would be interesting to see how they would react when presented with the same danger. 

 

When I wrote the execution scene in the finale, my goal was to show that Betty Shore, because of its remoteness and isolation, is a town not prepared for the reality of violence. The town is easily more of a ranch than a town, and the residents are more family than neighbors. While Bobby's crew in Fort Carson kept pushing on despite many deaths and setbacks, the people of Betty Shore are immediately defeated and accept Sean Phillips' control over them, so much so that John is willing to let his daughter be taken to avoid further bloodshed.

 

Marcelo however, being an experienced commander, has his 'leader' instinct immediately kick in and even refers to Fred as one of his 'guys in the ground', as if Fred was one of his soldiers. And while the town takes time to come to terms with the tragedy, Marcelo is already setting up a plan to rescue the women from Sean. Buck on the other hand wants to leave, just like he has done before.

 

As for Sean, he may be the horrible but everyone has a motive. But that's a story for the next season.

 

[AnDReJ98]

I don't know why I didn't write feedback right after playing this mp like a month ago, seriously.

 

EDIT: Expect this post to be edited, I'm way too blind to write now..

[RithRake24]

@Target13 is back with a bang in Season 2! (Literally, referring to the gameplay element.) I've gotta say, I'm a big fan of the way you've built this world.

 

Brace yourself for more (positive) opinions when the entire Season 2 comes out. With the kind of characters you've created, there's always multiple things to discuss about them.

 

Love your work, Senior DYOM Designer!

[AnDReJ98]

Before I could tell anything about the MP itself, I must speak about presentation of the thread and the way you announce/release stuff which greatly connects to the atmosphere of the MP. The whole presentation (teasers, announcers, artworks, quotes, etc.) is awesome and brings it on a whole different level. I like it. Now, when it comes to the missions.. dialogue, narrating, story, atmosphere, etc. the whole presentation (again, yea i know) is purely awesome. I don't know what else I should say about it (the only thing that feels a bit weird is that protagonist always wear the army uniform even though he doesn't actually represent it anymore in a way, however it's dyom so it's ok). The way on which story progresses along with character development feels like a good-written high budget movie honestly. Playing throughout the story has got me really excited, compared to many MPs  which fail to do so. Ending scenes were beautiful (artistically looking, you made it look and feel awesome) and sad (how it really looked like and what it meant to be/represent). Now, of course I'm gonna say 'action is the only thing that's missing' but I'm already aware that action (and gameplay in general) will be more present in the next chapter(s) which I have already played a bit of (first mission). So, I expect things to get really interesting and knowing how this had started, I'm pretty sure it will avoid the peak for all of it since it's far from being finished, but once you finish it up, my feedback will be also finished with all the pros and cons which I find obvious. For now, I honestly don't have any complains/suggestions but to see how will the rest of the story go. Keep it up and good luck!

Edited January 29, 2019 by AnDReJ98

[Target13]

Thank you @AnDReJ98 for your kind words. I always appreciate and value your opinion.

When discussing gameplay, we will have to define what we actually mean by that. Because gameplay doesn't necessarily mean action. Players will find that gameplay in this series is mostly walking to people, driving to locations and looking for objectives. When I said Season Two will be more gameplay focused, I didn't mean it would be action focused. This doesn't mean there won't be any action (as we already has seen with episode 6) but that means that there won't be many The Fort type shooting sequences. 

 

As for Marcelo's uniform, like I stated earlier, this is indeed DYOM's limitations.

Spoiler

I have always envisioned Marcelo as leaving at least two articles of his uniform on after arriving Betty Shore. His Jackets and boots probably. It is common for former servicemen and police officers to wear a few articles of their gear in their free time. Like a 'POLICE' cap or camo pants. 

 

Also, I don't know if this is made clear in the series but Marcelo doesn't hold a grudge or hate The Panthers but instead himself. While they are not saints, The Panthers aren't as evil as people make them out to be. As seen in Panthers: Bloody Sunday, they take on enemies who are worse than them. Even in The Fort, one could argue that Bobby's Crew were worse people than The Panthers, who were just following orders from Marcelo.

 

Marcelo hates himself for becoming corrupted and immoral.

 

[AnDReJ98]

I meant gameplay overall, not 'action' literally. This isn't action mp after all and is more story focused which is great as well, we are all set.

 

As for Marcelo's uniform, we can agree it's the dyom (or rather GTA SA) limits so it's ok, I was just not used to it haha

[Jack Muller]

I played the first season, the plot was awesome but AnDReJ98 was right there is no any gameplay in the MP (The first 6 missions). This MP is attractive but it will be more great if you add some gameplay in the missions, that'll make the player more excited and make him eagerly wait for the other missions. This is my opinion overall, in my missions I focus on the gameplay the most, but maybe I'm wrong somehow but after all good work I'll be looking forward to it!

[Target13]

Just now, Jack Muller said:

I played the first season, the plot was awesome but AnDReJ98 was right there is no any gameplay in the MP (The first 6 missions). This MP is attractive but it will be more great if you add some gameplay in the missions, that'll make the player more excited and make him eagerly wait for the other missions. This is my opinion overall, in my missions I focus on the gameplay the most, but maybe I'm wrong somehow but after all good work I'll be looking forward to it!

Thanks for your reply. What I think you missed from AnDReJ98's review however was everything beside the gameplay aspect. I believe despite it not being very interactive, many designers are still eagerly waiting for tomorrow's episode and the rest of the season.

 

Let me make it clear that while the coming missions will be more interactive than the first season, gameplay was never the focus and I have always emphasized this series as a story driven one. I completely respect your opinion and the fact that you would've enjoyed a more interactive story only helps me in developing the next project but I hope it doesn't come as a major disappointment to you that the remainder of this series won't feature much of what you're looking for.

 

Still, I hope you take the time to play the the remaining missions and I look forward to your opinion of them.

[Jack Muller]

2 minutes ago, Target13 said:

Thanks for your reply. What I think you missed from AnDReJ98's review however was everything beside the gameplay aspect. I believe despite it not being very interactive, many designers are still eagerly waiting for tomorrow's episode and the rest of the season.

 

Let me make it clear that while the coming missions will be more interactive than the first season, gameplay was never the focus and I have always emphasized this series as a story driven one. I completely respect your opinion and the fact that you would've enjoyed a more interactive story only helps me in developing the next project but I hope it doesn't come as a major disappointment to you that the remainder of this series won't feature much of what you're looking for.

 

Still, I hope you take the time to play the the remaining missions and I look forward to your opinion of them.

I knew I wasn't right in one thing, that's why I said I might be wrong somehow. Anyway, I'll be waiting for more of your missions cause the story and the plot was fantastic. Good Luck on it!

[RithRake24]

4 hours ago, Target13 said:

many designers are still eagerly waiting for tomorrow's episode and the rest of the season.

How very true...

[RithRake24]

Just played "Davis for San Andreas".

 

What a coincidence, I have a character called "Sean Davis" in my MP "What Pain Means" (introduced in Mission 2). It's literally pronounced the same as your "Shawn Davis".

 

By the way, I did love the mission.

[RithRake24]

Just played "The Vice within these Walls".

 

Sean Phillips is disturbing, yet authentic.

 

The upcoming climax is getting excitement to course through my veins now. Too bad I'll have to wait till the 16th for the next mission, and 23rd for the finale.