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Best/Funniest quotes


Cutter De Blanc
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Mary-Beth: Have you ever been to the moon Arthur?

 

Arthur: Sure, but only when it's full.

 

Mary-Beth: See Tilly, Arthur's been, maybe we'll go one day.

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Sean's reaction is priceless. Scared asf but scolds it off instantly. 

 

Such a shame we didn't see more of Colm. One of this great game's flaws.

Edited by Sean800
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Bartender: “You should keep that thing in a cage”

 

Arthur: “You should think about who you’re serving (“Gimme a beer will ya?)”

 

Replaying the game after so many years, and actually doing most of the side missions, had me in stitches when I got to this moment 

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  • 2 weeks later...
VenusianDream

Uncle roasting John for buying a ran down shack is probably one of the funniest dialogues in the game. 🤣

 

 

Uncle: "There he goes.... What'd I tell you, Charles, what'd I tell you? Boy is as sour as week old milk. No wonder she didn't stay with you. Not even a retired two dollar whore would stay with you... that's the goddamn truth. Now you used to be decent company, but now... you're worse than a snake with a toothache. All he does is whine, whine, whine..."

 

John: "Excuse me?"

 

Uncle: "Oh, don't get all angry, it ain't gonna change nothing. You're hopeless... and I mean that literally. You got no hope. I mean look at you... look at this place... your dream home. I've had better nightmares than this dream. Oh, darling Abigail. I've changed... come live with me in an outhouse... I wouldn't ask my worst enemy to take a sh*t in."

 

John: "What are you trying to say?"

 

Uncle: "It's awful. It's a dump. The house... it's got to go. Get some self-respect you miserable sack of sh*t. Build a house a lady would step foot in."

 

John: "Place just needs a woman's touch."

 

Uncle: "It needs leveling. No woman would touch this place."

spacer.png

 

Mr. Bogey

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Javier Escuella: Do you ever worry that one of those alligators is gonna walk into your tent at night?
Hosea Matthews: No, but I will now...

 

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"You got any word on the lion?" "Yes, yes i got word on the lion... sh*t is the word." ('He's british, of course' stranger mission).

 

funny

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  • 2 weeks later...
Cutter De Blanc

Arthur: "Well, we're still alive, that's something. "

Dutch: "Of course we are."

Arthur: "Despite your best efforts to kill the lot of us."

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VenusianDream

Dutch: "Gentlemen, it's time."

 

The train comes into view, and they prepare for the job.

 

Dutch: "Good luck, all of you. You all know what to do."

 

The train comes along the tracks and passes over the spot in the rails which Bill set the dynamite. He approaches the detonator and gets ready to blow the dynamite.

 

Bill: "Here we go."

 

Bill puts his hands on the detonator and sets it off. However, to his surprise, the dynamite does not actually set off, and the planned explosion does not actually occur.

 

Bill: "sh*t, no! What? God!"

 

Bill frantically tries to set the dynamite off to no avail, and it sits there unexploded as he tries to use different methods to set it off.

 

Dutch: "Oh, you have got to be kidding me."

 

Arthur: "Where did you find that moron?"

 

Dutch: "You said it was fine."

 

Arthur: "So it's my fault?"

 

The other gang members start to dismount their horses in an effort to catch the train while it's still passing through the tunnel under them.

 

Javier: "Well, come on!"

 

Arthur: (to Dutch) "You're pathetic, you know that?"

spacer.png

 

Mr. Bogey

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  • 2 weeks later...
Threepac_TrainJumpa
Spoiler

 

"I Wish I Had Acquired Wisdom At Less Of A Price." - Hosea Matthews

 

 

 

 

3 minutes ago, MrMcAnus said:

Lennnnyyyyy mah boi!

Classic quote, McAnus. 

Edited by Threepac_TrainJumpa
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Sweet mother of... E-e-e-easy boy...

 

Arthur during He's British, Of Course.

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red-apples

Not really a quote, but the entire exchange between Arthur and the german family whose feller he saves from Clemens Point at the end of Chapter 2 always gets me. It's just the way they repeatedly thank him in german and he responds by shouting at them to leave, because they can't understand each other. And then he goes "Vamos, vamos!" Comedy gold.

 

 

Edited by red-apples
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Cutter De Blanc

"I don't know much about Aristotle,  but I know a thing or two about shooting a gun." 

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Looser3241

Arthur: You do like a smoke, huh?

Susan: One of life's few pleasures
Arthur: No wonder you look twice your age

 

Arthur: So, you're still alive?

Micah: Of course

Arthur: Well, that ruined my day

 

While playing poker
Strauss: Clemens Point, named after Clement of Rome, one of early christian thinkers (awkward long pause) .... Wrong crowd, I see....

 

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1 hour ago, Looser3241 said:

Arthur: You do like a smoke, huh?

Susan: One of life's few pleasures
Arthur: No wonder you look twice your age

 

Arthur: So, you're still alive?

Micah: Of course

Arthur: Well, that ruined my day

 

While playing poker
Strauss: Clemens Point, named after Clement of Rome, one of early christian thinkers (awkward long pause) .... Wrong crowd, I see....

 

 

Okay I kind of dislike the antagonize button, but I must admit some of those quotes are so funny.

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Arthur: Looking particularly lovely today

 

Susan: How much have you had to drink?

 

Arthur: Too much if you're looking lovely that's for sure.

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The Artist

"You haven't mentioned the blackwater money in 5 minutes. That's a new record"

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Dorethea Wicklow: I do hope you grow out of it young man. It's so unappealing.

 

Arthur: Unappealing is what I do best.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Just accidentally rode my horse partly through camp and Abigail shouted: If that horse leaves a present, you're the one cleaning it up! 😂

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  • 2 weeks later...

Currently in Chapter 6 and just came across a conversation between Javier and Bill discussing who they think the rat is. Then bringing Arthur into the conversation...

 

Bill: You still got your head up your ass, Morgan?

Arthur: Probably... because all I'm hearing is s**t!

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  • 1 month later...
Cutter De Blanc

Arthur: This ain't making a lot of sense, Dutch.

Dutch: It will, son... It will... a deal... some noise... and then we're gone.

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  • 1 month later...
Cutter De Blanc

"Hey there, over here! Get lost!" -Poor Joe

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  • 1 month later...
~INDIO~

Random man in Rhodes Saloon - "I've seen him blast a wasp off a fellas whiskers"

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Cutter De Blanc

"A failed man is often the most dangerous..." -Captain Monroe

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~INDIO~

"Your breath's so bad it's damn near curling my hair"

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when low honor Arthur says "I'll kill you again in hell my friend" after killing someone is just so badass

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Dan_1983

"Did you hear that two mad men shot up half a town" - Some random guy at Wallace Station 

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