Dan_1983 Posted December 15, 2021 Share Posted December 15, 2021 Mary-Beth: Have you ever been to the moon Arthur? Arthur: Sure, but only when it's full. Mary-Beth: See Tilly, Arthur's been, maybe we'll go one day. Sean800 and Kerminator369 2 Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/918032-bestfunniest-quotes/page/7/#findComment-1071752317 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sean800 Posted December 15, 2021 Share Posted December 15, 2021 (edited) Sean's reaction is priceless. Scared asf but scolds it off instantly. Such a shame we didn't see more of Colm. One of this great game's flaws. Edited December 15, 2021 by Sean800 Taterman 1 Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/918032-bestfunniest-quotes/page/7/#findComment-1071752577 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dbzk1999 Posted December 15, 2021 Share Posted December 15, 2021 Bartender: “You should keep that thing in a cage” Arthur: “You should think about who you’re serving (“Gimme a beer will ya?)” Replaying the game after so many years, and actually doing most of the side missions, had me in stitches when I got to this moment Taterman, Sneaky Queeky, Kerminator369 and 1 other 3 1 Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/918032-bestfunniest-quotes/page/7/#findComment-1071752822 Share on other sites More sharing options...
VenusianDream Posted December 25, 2021 Share Posted December 25, 2021 Uncle roasting John for buying a ran down shack is probably one of the funniest dialogues in the game. Uncle: "There he goes.... What'd I tell you, Charles, what'd I tell you? Boy is as sour as week old milk. No wonder she didn't stay with you. Not even a retired two dollar whore would stay with you... that's the goddamn truth. Now you used to be decent company, but now... you're worse than a snake with a toothache. All he does is whine, whine, whine..." John: "Excuse me?" Uncle: "Oh, don't get all angry, it ain't gonna change nothing. You're hopeless... and I mean that literally. You got no hope. I mean look at you... look at this place... your dream home. I've had better nightmares than this dream. Oh, darling Abigail. I've changed... come live with me in an outhouse... I wouldn't ask my worst enemy to take a sh*t in." John: "What are you trying to say?" Uncle: "It's awful. It's a dump. The house... it's got to go. Get some self-respect you miserable sack of sh*t. Build a house a lady would step foot in." John: "Place just needs a woman's touch." Uncle: "It needs leveling. No woman would touch this place." TexasOdysseus, Taterman, Sean800 and 3 others 5 1 Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/918032-bestfunniest-quotes/page/7/#findComment-1071761728 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alexlecj Posted December 27, 2021 Share Posted December 27, 2021 Javier Escuella: Do you ever worry that one of those alligators is gonna walk into your tent at night? Hosea Matthews: No, but I will now... Taterman, Looser3241 and Dan_1983 3 Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/918032-bestfunniest-quotes/page/7/#findComment-1071762713 Share on other sites More sharing options...
boner goblin Posted December 28, 2021 Share Posted December 28, 2021 "You got any word on the lion?" "Yes, yes i got word on the lion... sh*t is the word." ('He's british, of course' stranger mission). funny Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/918032-bestfunniest-quotes/page/7/#findComment-1071763505 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cutter De Blanc Posted January 10, 2022 Author Share Posted January 10, 2022 Arthur: "Well, we're still alive, that's something. " Dutch: "Of course we are." Arthur: "Despite your best efforts to kill the lot of us." Looser3241 and Dan_1983 2 Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/918032-bestfunniest-quotes/page/7/#findComment-1071772490 Share on other sites More sharing options...
VenusianDream Posted January 11, 2022 Share Posted January 11, 2022 Dutch: "Gentlemen, it's time." The train comes into view, and they prepare for the job. Dutch: "Good luck, all of you. You all know what to do." The train comes along the tracks and passes over the spot in the rails which Bill set the dynamite. He approaches the detonator and gets ready to blow the dynamite. Bill: "Here we go." Bill puts his hands on the detonator and sets it off. However, to his surprise, the dynamite does not actually set off, and the planned explosion does not actually occur. Bill: "sh*t, no! What? God!" Bill frantically tries to set the dynamite off to no avail, and it sits there unexploded as he tries to use different methods to set it off. Dutch: "Oh, you have got to be kidding me." Arthur: "Where did you find that moron?" Dutch: "You said it was fine." Arthur: "So it's my fault?" The other gang members start to dismount their horses in an effort to catch the train while it's still passing through the tunnel under them. Javier: "Well, come on!" Arthur: (to Dutch) "You're pathetic, you know that?" Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/918032-bestfunniest-quotes/page/7/#findComment-1071772579 Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrMcAnus Posted January 24, 2022 Share Posted January 24, 2022 Lennnnyyyyy mah boi! Threepac_TrainJumpa 1 Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/918032-bestfunniest-quotes/page/7/#findComment-1071781001 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threepac_TrainJumpa Posted January 24, 2022 Share Posted January 24, 2022 (edited) Spoiler "I Wish I Had Acquired Wisdom At Less Of A Price." - Hosea Matthews 3 minutes ago, MrMcAnus said: Lennnnyyyyy mah boi! Classic quote, McAnus. Edited January 24, 2022 by Threepac_TrainJumpa MrMcAnus 1 Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/918032-bestfunniest-quotes/page/7/#findComment-1071781002 Share on other sites More sharing options...
JB1982 Posted January 25, 2022 Share Posted January 25, 2022 Sweet mother of... E-e-e-easy boy... Arthur during He's British, Of Course. Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/918032-bestfunniest-quotes/page/7/#findComment-1071781491 Share on other sites More sharing options...
red-apples Posted January 27, 2022 Share Posted January 27, 2022 (edited) Not really a quote, but the entire exchange between Arthur and the german family whose feller he saves from Clemens Point at the end of Chapter 2 always gets me. It's just the way they repeatedly thank him in german and he responds by shouting at them to leave, because they can't understand each other. And then he goes "Vamos, vamos!" Comedy gold. Edited January 27, 2022 by red-apples Sean800 and VenusianDream 2 Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/918032-bestfunniest-quotes/page/7/#findComment-1071782230 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cutter De Blanc Posted February 2, 2022 Author Share Posted February 2, 2022 "I don't know much about Aristotle, but I know a thing or two about shooting a gun." Sean800 and JB1982 2 Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/918032-bestfunniest-quotes/page/7/#findComment-1071785803 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Looser3241 Posted February 2, 2022 Share Posted February 2, 2022 Arthur: You do like a smoke, huh? Susan: One of life's few pleasures Arthur: No wonder you look twice your age Arthur: So, you're still alive? Micah: Of course Arthur: Well, that ruined my day While playing poker Strauss: Clemens Point, named after Clement of Rome, one of early christian thinkers (awkward long pause) .... Wrong crowd, I see.... VenusianDream, Dan_1983, JB1982 and 2 others 5 Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/918032-bestfunniest-quotes/page/7/#findComment-1071785924 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sean800 Posted February 2, 2022 Share Posted February 2, 2022 1 hour ago, Looser3241 said: Arthur: You do like a smoke, huh? Susan: One of life's few pleasures Arthur: No wonder you look twice your age Arthur: So, you're still alive? Micah: Of course Arthur: Well, that ruined my day While playing poker Strauss: Clemens Point, named after Clement of Rome, one of early christian thinkers (awkward long pause) .... Wrong crowd, I see.... Okay I kind of dislike the antagonize button, but I must admit some of those quotes are so funny. Looser3241 1 Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/918032-bestfunniest-quotes/page/7/#findComment-1071785971 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan_1983 Posted February 4, 2022 Share Posted February 4, 2022 Arthur: Looking particularly lovely today Susan: How much have you had to drink? Arthur: Too much if you're looking lovely that's for sure. JB1982 and VenusianDream 2 Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/918032-bestfunniest-quotes/page/7/#findComment-1071786997 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cluckin Bell CEO Posted February 4, 2022 Share Posted February 4, 2022 "You haven't mentioned the blackwater money in 5 minutes. That's a new record" Dan_1983 1 Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/918032-bestfunniest-quotes/page/7/#findComment-1071787371 Share on other sites More sharing options...
JB1982 Posted February 6, 2022 Share Posted February 6, 2022 Dorethea Wicklow: I do hope you grow out of it young man. It's so unappealing. Arthur: Unappealing is what I do best. Dan_1983 1 Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/918032-bestfunniest-quotes/page/7/#findComment-1071789829 Share on other sites More sharing options...
JB1982 Posted February 17, 2022 Share Posted February 17, 2022 Just accidentally rode my horse partly through camp and Abigail shouted: If that horse leaves a present, you're the one cleaning it up! Sean800 and Dan_1983 2 Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/918032-bestfunniest-quotes/page/7/#findComment-1071797464 Share on other sites More sharing options...
JB1982 Posted March 1, 2022 Share Posted March 1, 2022 Currently in Chapter 6 and just came across a conversation between Javier and Bill discussing who they think the rat is. Then bringing Arthur into the conversation... Bill: You still got your head up your ass, Morgan? Arthur: Probably... because all I'm hearing is s**t! Dan_1983, Looser3241, VenusianDream and 2 others 4 1 Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/918032-bestfunniest-quotes/page/7/#findComment-1071804562 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cutter De Blanc Posted April 15, 2022 Author Share Posted April 15, 2022 Arthur: This ain't making a lot of sense, Dutch. Dutch: It will, son... It will... a deal... some noise... and then we're gone. Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/918032-bestfunniest-quotes/page/7/#findComment-1071839242 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cutter De Blanc Posted May 24, 2022 Author Share Posted May 24, 2022 "Hey there, over here! Get lost!" -Poor Joe Sean800 1 Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/918032-bestfunniest-quotes/page/7/#findComment-1071864276 Share on other sites More sharing options...
T R U C I D O Posted June 28, 2022 Share Posted June 28, 2022 Random man in Rhodes Saloon - "I've seen him blast a wasp off a fellas whiskers" Sean800 1 Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/918032-bestfunniest-quotes/page/7/#findComment-1071883342 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cutter De Blanc Posted July 1, 2022 Author Share Posted July 1, 2022 "A failed man is often the most dangerous..." -Captain Monroe Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/918032-bestfunniest-quotes/page/7/#findComment-1071884758 Share on other sites More sharing options...
T R U C I D O Posted July 4, 2022 Share Posted July 4, 2022 "Your breath's so bad it's damn near curling my hair" Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/918032-bestfunniest-quotes/page/7/#findComment-1071886206 Share on other sites More sharing options...
loops Posted July 11, 2022 Share Posted July 11, 2022 when low honor Arthur says "I'll kill you again in hell my friend" after killing someone is just so badass Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/918032-bestfunniest-quotes/page/7/#findComment-1071891846 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan_1983 Posted July 12, 2022 Share Posted July 12, 2022 "Did you hear that two mad men shot up half a town" - Some random guy at Wallace Station Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/918032-bestfunniest-quotes/page/7/#findComment-1071892011 Share on other sites More sharing options...
wangsparkinglot Posted October 31, 2022 Share Posted October 31, 2022 Dutch in the swamps with Arthur and Thomas 'You can see why evening swamp wading never caught on as a past time' Hahaha 5th play though and gets me every time TexasOdysseus and Sean800 2 Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/918032-bestfunniest-quotes/page/7/#findComment-1072011327 Share on other sites More sharing options...
sajuuk6 Posted October 31, 2022 Share Posted October 31, 2022 Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/918032-bestfunniest-quotes/page/7/#findComment-1072011669 Share on other sites More sharing options...
billiejoearmstrong8 Posted February 24, 2023 Share Posted February 24, 2023 (edited) Colm: How's that score you stole off us? Dutch: HWHICH one? Edited January 27, 2024 by billiejoearmstrong8 Link to comment https://gtaforums.com/topic/918032-bestfunniest-quotes/page/7/#findComment-1072095183 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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