Best/Funniest quotes

[Jason]

One of the best scenes for me is when:

 

(Chapter 6 spoilers)

 

The mission where you make sure Colm hangs. That moment when he realises Arthur, Dutch and Sadie have stopped his plans for escape and he sh*ts him self. Seeing Arthur wave at him from the rooftop 

[LittleJesus]

I found the conversation between this 4 guys during the train robbery very funny.

 

Sean: You know my da always used to say...

John: Not the da, please!
Charles: No, no...
Arthur: Not this again.

Sean: Fine! Damm you three... Sulky, angry, scar face.

[Orfan Loom]

I antagonized John and he replied with "Is this your idea of a joke?"

I giggled.

 

Uncle and Abigail told me this a few times: 'Here we go again'. 'Oh, you're in one of those moods'

Makes me think that Arthur was always like that. Since he was a kid.

He's not like this only when we - the player - control him and push the button to antagonize.

Edited November 10, 2018 by Orfan Loom

[Shadowfennekin]

I forgot this one, when Arthur roasts Kieran

Kieran: You see that, that fella's naked

Arthur: Is that why you like this spot? 

 

And shortly afterwards "Why don't we hook that little maggot of yours and see what bites?"

[Nulla Lex Ink.]

Charles Chatenay: "That picture I gave you. It will be worth something some day, I can feel it!"
Arthur: "Perhaps. Right now seems like all it'd get me is a kick in the balls."

 

Then later when Charles kisses him and he's like "Please... Do not do that again."

[Shadowfennekin]

1 hour ago, Nulla Lex Ink. said:

Charles Chatenay: "That picture I gave you. It will be worth something some day, I can feel it!"
Arthur: "Perhaps. Right now seems like all it'd get me is a kick in the balls."

 

Then later when Charles kisses him and he's like "Please... Do not do that again."

And the part where everyone's going "Hey that's my wife!"

And when you're escorting Charles one of the guys he's hiding from is trying to identify him, and his woman slaps him thinking he's checking out some ass 

I really loved that stranger mission; It, Martha, and Darko are the best ones imo

[Rykjeklut]

20 hours ago, lordbancs said:

...maybe I'll keep her in black on your behalf - Arthur Morgan

 

This is one of the debt collection missions for Strauss I believe. The line isn't significant but the delivery gave me chills

That whole conversation with the kid is just perfect.

[memoric]

You sir, are a fish!

[_SMOKEY_]

"...Next time, let the wolf eat all of your brain, then you'll be a genius"

[Cutter De Blanc]

"WELL I CAMP WHEREVER I WANT!" -Arthur shooting the murfee brood who antagonized him for setting up camp

 

[Dangerous and sad]

"I reckon you haven't washed that petticoat in a month. Not that i'm keeping tabs or anything..." 

[silly_nate]

“Back then I was called Nephew.”

[Ring Dang Do]

Loved it after after the campfire song 'ring dang do' they say to uncle "You're a dirty man mmmhm" 

 

to which uncle replies "yup haha"

[Boozey St John]

When Hosea and Arthur going to into town. Hosea calls Arthur "Fenton", his kid brother who was struck idiot. 

[Fatsanchez]

I love the way Arthur talks to his horse, "Thats my girl". Sounds like he really loves that horse.

 

Also, "I told you I was a whole ass" - Charles (the french dude)

[Jedster]

On ‎11‎/‎1‎/‎2018 at 9:57 PM, TheSantader25 said:

Someone please count how many times Dutch says:

 

-Trust me

Also: "I have a PLAN!"

 

[The1raven]

1 hour ago, Jedster said:

Also: "I have a PLAN!"

 

OMG, this was my LEAST favorite.  If my hair was long enough, I would have pulled some out every time.

 

My favorite wasn't really a quote....when Arthur and John are getting ready to blow up the bridge, they both put cig in their mouth, stop, look at the dynamite boxes and throw the cigs away.  Cracked me up.

[The1raven]

On 10/30/2018 at 10:34 PM, saintsrow said:

Seems like everybody gives Pearson a ration of sh*t, including Arthur. 

 

Uncle was ripping Pearson about his sea life also.  Something about how going to sea is a coward's way out, nothing dangerous in the sea; in terms of threats, sharks ain't nothing compared to people. 

 

Anyone who thinks there's nothing dangerous at sea has never been at sea.  Land is our natural habitat and is FAR less dangerous to us than the sea.  Sharks just aren't that interested in people.  If they were, no one would go to the beach because sharks are everywhere.  But sharks are nowhere near to being the only danger at sea.

 

I mean I can lay down in the dirt and take a nap and will most likely be just fine.  But how long can you tread water?  How far can you swim?  If you nap, you will not wake up, shark or no shark.

[The1raven]

On 10/31/2018 at 6:00 AM, REXX said:

As already stated above, it has to be:

 

LENNAAAAAY!!

Man, that is a good one.  Might even be my favorite mission.  

[BZXC32]

When i passed a citizen of saint dennis, who i think was talking to himself. He said: sure wish whiskey grew on trees

Edited November 13, 2018 by BZXC32
Typo

[Jedster]

Uncle: You are a sad man Arthur Morgan... but I know you love me.

Arthur: Desperately... you're my favorite parasite. No... ringworm's my favorite parasite, you're my second favorite parasite.

Uncle: Very funny...

Arthur: I lied... ringworms, than rats with the plague, than you...

Uncle: Shut up...

[CryptReaperDorian]

"A corpse?! In MY shop?! AW-HELL-NO!!!" - Rhodes Gunsmith

[Alexlecj]

Brynn Tildon : Can I help you sir?
Bill Williamson : Well, I'm not quite sure yet... Albert Danielson.
Brynn Tildon : Brynn Tildon, this is Mr. Hector Fellowes.
Bill Williamson : Well, it's uh... nice to meet the both of ya.
Brynn Tildon : New suit?
Bill Williamson : Yeah... uh-I mean no, uh-uh no, it-it's a new shirt.
Brynn Tildon : Are you new in town?
Bill Williamson : Yes, I come from the west, I mean the north... the uh, the-the northwest.
Brynn Tildon : Okay... I came down from Washington, myself, many years ago.
Hector Fellowes : This town gets to a man, undermines even the best of us.
Brynn Tildon : I'm doing my best, sir.
Hector Fellowes : Truth is an absolute, sir... don't you think?
Bill Williamson : Well, I don't quite understand.
Hector Fellowes : You are not, it would seem, the only one.
Bill Williamson : I was in the army once.
Hector Fellowes : Good for you.
Brynn Tildon : What do you do now?
Bill Williamson : Well, uh, I-I'm not quite, uh... I'm an American.
Brynn Tildon : Yes, but what do you do?
Bill Williamson : Oh, uh... well I'm in between jobs at the moment.
Brynn Tildon : Oh, of course... of course.

 

[Nuzarashi]

"Damn, that horse looks better than my wife" - A passerby commenting on my white Arabian horse.

[GreatScott04]

One of the bounty missions, I think the one on Valentine with the snake oil guy.

 

"I seem to keep blacking out."

Arthur hits him and knocks him out again.

Arthur: Huh... you DO seem to keep blacking out

[D418]

"OUDDA THA DAAAMN WAY!"

[Darealbandicoot]

A heckler commenting on the singing lady in the Saint Denis theatre " Woo lady your hot! Just like ma sister!" 

[Psyperactive81]

4 hours ago, GreatScott04 said:

One of the bounty missions, I think the one on Valentine with the snake oil guy.

 

"I seem to keep blacking out."

Arthur hits him and knocks him out again.

Arthur: Huh... you DO seem to keep blacking out

Awww, you beat me to it. I loved that exchange

[Dr.Rosenthal]

 

After Sean dies from a bullet through the head and during the ambush, Bill Williamson goes ”Is he deeeead?” in his broad southern accent, and Arthur goes ”OF COURSE HE’S DEAD!”.

 

(^ safe to view past Chapter 3)

 

Not really funny since the whole scene is very tragic but I loved that writing - those two lines of dialogue explain both Bill and Arthur's characters so well and with so few words.

Edited November 22, 2018 by Dr.Rosenthal

[Cutter De Blanc]

The idle chatter in the Valentine Saloon is hilarious

"You're more full of sh*t than the auction house"

"Everyone in here smells like sheep!"