Best/Funniest quotes

[Cutter De Blanc 14,785]

I'll start off

"What kind of a man lives by the sea, I ask you!? The kind of man who lives where his wife tells him. Hahahahahah... Ain't no woman ever told me nothin', except 'make yourself scarce,' and that about suits me fine." -MIcah Bell

Edited February 14, 2019 by Cutter De Blanc

[Guest]

Arthur during the bounty hunting delivery of Ellie Ann Swann to the Valentine prison:

 

Ellie Ann: "I'm sick. I need medicine!"

*Arthur smacks her in the head*

Arthur: "is that the medicine you're looking for?"

 

 

[saintsrow 11,008]

2 hours ago, Cutter De Blanc said:

I'll start off

"What kind of a man lives by the sea, I ask you!? The kind of man who lives where his wife tells him. Hahahahahah... Ain't no woman ever told me nothin', except 'make yourself scarce,' and that about suits me fine." -MIcah Bell

Seems like everybody gives Pearson a ration of sh*t, including Arthur. 

 

Uncle was ripping Pearson about his sea life also.  Something about how going to sea is a coward's way out, nothing dangerous in the sea; in terms of threats, sharks ain't nothing compared to people. 

 

[sunhuntin 109]

Not a quote, but a funny interaction. Just had a drunk approach as I passed the butcher in Valentine. He couldn't remember the way home, and I had the option to direct him correctly or send him in the wrong direction. I chose to give him correct instructions, which were to the house across from the saloon next to the church, and then when I went to the gunsmith, I could hear his wife screaming at him for being drunk. I went to look, and he was asleep on the porch.

[tonko 1,687]

Lennnyyyyy!!!! Lennnnay!!

 

Lenny mah boi!

Edited October 31, 2018 by tonko

[Verbal Soze 2,181]

I'm like jim jones minus the fruit punch kill them fools my son 

[Alexlecj 301]

Dutch van der Linde (to Kieran Duffy) : I got a saying, my friend... we shoot fellers as need shooting... save fellers as need saving... and feed 'em as need feeding. We're gonna find out what you need.

 

Pearson : We have a few cans of food and a rabbit... for what, ten, twelve people? When I was in the Navy...
Arthur Morgan : I-I do not wish to hear about... what you got up to in the Navy, Mr. Pearson.
Pearson : We were stranded at sea... for fifty days.
Arthur Morgan : And you unfortunately survived...

 

[¡MAYDAY! 497]

Can't remember the exact quote but I was sitting at the fire in camp with John and Arthur says to him, " aren't we a little too close to the water for you"

Edited October 31, 2018 by ¡MAYDAY!

[Misterkotte 43]

I can’t remember the exact words but I laughed when Arthur gives John crap for not being able to swim 

[REXX 30,914]

As already stated above, it has to be:

 

LENNAAAAAY!!

[HockeyMike24 934]

When Arthur talks to his horse.

 

"Gooood bouuyyy"

[Cutter De Blanc 14,785]

"Course, if everything goes wrong you can wave your guns around like you normally do, hold tight." -Josiah Trelawney

[CrimsonFolo 1,071]

Something like "I have a hot poker up my ass" from some stranger guy (Marko Dravic) 

 

There was a bounty which had this african american guy and he was funny af, kept talking about how you should have done the honorable thing and killed him in the duel instead of capturing him

[Shadowfennekin 17,482]

LENNAH MAH BOI!

 

And the line when Marko Dravic said he just met the buffoon(Arthur) a few minutes ago and asks him to confirm to which Arthur goes "Which part?"

 

And when they basically made it canon that John can't swim with Arthur's wise crack. "Kinda close to the water.... you nervous?"

[RedDead2503 2,097]

You have to love yourself a fire - Reverend Swanson

[Cutter De Blanc 14,785]

"Does this seem like a good time for sarcasm to you, Arthur?" -Dutch

[AZAZEL 2,818]

Bill chatting up Strauss over supper:

 

Bill: What do they eat in Germany?

Strauss: I'm Austrian...

Bill: Err, okay. What do they eat in Aus...traila?

[DarksunDaFirst 601]

On 10/30/2018 at 11:29 PM, McGhee said:

Arthur during the bounty hunting delivery of Ellie Ann Swann to the Valentine prison:

 

Ellie Ann: "I'm sick. I need medicine!"

*Arthur smacks her in the head*

Arthur: "is that the medicine you're looking for?"

 

 

Bendict Albright bounty...


Benedict "Sir............I think I must be suffering from exposure..."
*Arthur smacks him in the head"
Arthur: Suffer a little longer.

[theEwing1979 887]

"As sure as pumpkins ain't cauliflowers"

[TheSantader25 6,822]

Someone please count how many times Dutch says:

 

-Trust me

[Shadowfennekin 17,482]

You get quite funny dialogue if you shoot the Rhodes bounty's wife 😂

 

[rebeldevil 622]

Passerby, after a bar fight. "I'm gonna have a drink, then I'm going to YOUR house, and see YOUR wife!"

[Cutter De Blanc 14,785]

"Interesting way you boys got of preparing for a killin'." -Arthur Morgan

[Alexlecj 301]

Arthur Morgan (after rescuing Sean Macguire) : You know... nothing means more to me than this gang. The bond we share... it's the most real thing to me. I would kill for it, I would happily die for it... but in spite of all that... I would have easily left you here to rot... if Charles hadn't stopped me.

[TheJesus1996 1,605]

Don't really remember the dialogue but it's funny how Arthur says it:

 

Sadie starts shooting some bandits.

 

Arthur: Who do you think you are Landon Rickets 😂

 

[Cutter De Blanc 14,785]

Just heard Hosea describe Bill as "a fine upstanding young gentleman who just got stuck in the wrong place at the wrong time."

Hosea is a goldmine though, "Forgive me if I'm not thinking about the mango harvest!"

Edited November 8, 2018 by Cutter De Blanc

[Alexlecj 301]

Charles Smith (about Josiah Trelawny) : "I swear he talked the whole way and never actually said a damn thing."

[E•MO•TION 10,621]

Uncle (while mocking John during Home Improvement for Beginners): "Oh, darling Abigail, I've changed, come live with me in an outhouse I wouldn't ask my worst enemy to take a sh*t in."

[Boozey St John 1,826]

Anytime Uncle mentions that he has terminal lumbago. 

 

Arthur: "... Lumbago. Really?"

[lordbancs 263]

...maybe I'll keep her in black on your behalf - Arthur Morgan

 

This is one of the debt collection missions for Strauss I believe. The line isn't significant but the delivery gave me chills