The Official B*tch & Moan Thread (Part 2)

[Prince_Polaris]

 

Thanks for bringing me my car mechanic

 

-shnap=

Johnny on the wrong spot.

 

Bring the mechanic NPC back so I can kill him >:C

[autofanatic]

 

 

Thanks for bringing me my car mechanic

 

-shnap=

Johnny on the wrong spot.

Bring the mechanic NPC back so I can kill him >:C

Poor Johnny on the spot. You can only miss him but you will never meet him again.

[Prince_Polaris]

 

 

 

Thanks for bringing me my car mechanic

 

-shnap=

Johnny on the wrong spot.

Bring the mechanic NPC back so I can kill him >:C

Poor Johnny on the spot. You can only miss him but you will never meet him again.

 

I've never met him, heh, but I've seen old videos of him, seems like it was a fun time getting your own dang cars.

[Professional Amateur]

I've never met him, heh, but I've seen old videos of him, seems like it was a fun time getting your own dang cars.

The real fun started when someone called in their glitched P-996 Lazer and got to watch him taxiing it up the road...and further up the road....and even further....and somewhere into Paleto Bay until ol' Johnny Missed The Spot made the engine die from crashing the the thing so much.

[autofanatic]

 

I've never met him, heh, but I've seen old videos of him, seems like it was a fun time getting your own dang cars.

The real fun started when someone called in their glitched P-996 Lazer and got to watch him taxiing it up the road...and further up the road....and even further....and somewhere into Paleto Bay until ol' Johnny Missed The Spot made the engine die from crashing the the thing so much.

All I want to say is that, thank you very much for fixing funny glitches, rockstar.

[CrysisAverted]

 

I've never met him, heh, but I've seen old videos of him, seems like it was a fun time getting your own dang cars.

The real fun started when someone called in their glitched P-996 Lazer and got to watch him taxiing it up the road...and further up the road....and even further....and somewhere into Paleto Bay until ol' Johnny Missed The Spot made the engine die from crashing the the thing so much.

 

 

Give Mr. The Spot a break, hes a mechanic not a pilot.

[Professional Amateur]

 

The real fun started when someone called in their glitched P-996 Lazer and got to watch him taxiing it up the road...and further up the road....and even further....and somewhere into Paleto Bay until ol' Johnny Missed The Spot made the engine die from crashing the the thing so much.

 

Give Mr. The Spot a break, hes a mechanic not a pilot.

 

Flight School accepts all kinds of flunkies, so he should've at least tried to become a competent pilot since he was so mindbogglingly bad at driving.

[Darealbandicoot]

Speaking of J on the spot

 

 

Also I miss splattering his brains all over the pavement for dinging my futo. Ah good times.

Edited June 26, 2017 by Crashbandicoot2

[Prince_Polaris]

 

 

I've never met him, heh, but I've seen old videos of him, seems like it was a fun time getting your own dang cars.

The real fun started when someone called in their glitched P-996 Lazer and got to watch him taxiing it up the road...and further up the road....and even further....and somewhere into Paleto Bay until ol' Johnny Missed The Spot made the engine die from crashing the the thing so much.

All I want to say is that, thank you very much for fixing funny glitches, rockstar.

 

Yeah, thanks :c

 

 

 

The real fun started when someone called in their glitched P-996 Lazer and got to watch him taxiing it up the road...and further up the road....and even further....and somewhere into Paleto Bay until ol' Johnny Missed The Spot made the engine die from crashing the the thing so much.

Give Mr. The Spot a break, hes a mechanic not a pilot.

Flight School accepts all kinds of flunkies, so he should've at least tried to become a competent pilot since he was so mindbogglingly bad at driving.

 

Do ya think he could handle a boat?

[Opzeker]

Is it just me or has the B&M topic gotten a more dark tone lately?

[Professional Amateur]

Do ya think he could handle a boat?

Nah. He'd probably make the front fall off or something. If only we could call the APC in whilst on some island, that'd be the ultimate test.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Gridl0k]

Always getting caught out by super-close CEO respawns

 

 

Looks like he one-shot me from full armour too? Gnngh.

Edited June 26, 2017 by Gridl0k

[Goingcrowd9]

I find it stupid that we still have to wait 5 minutes to call a new car and have it "delivered" by the mechanic. They actually removed the mechanic delivering the car and added the 5 minute cooldown because of a money glitch that involved him. They said Due to the bugs with the delivery function, is why they removed it. Ok if that was why than why did you also add the 5 minute cooldown to call your car back. It was to "punish" those who were doing it and even though that glitch is no longer possible we still have to wait 5 minutes. Like come on it was on oldgen. Pegasus vehicles have no cooldown and can be called instantly. You can spawn a buzzard at your feet instantly. #BringBackJohnnyOnTheSpot.

 

Its also the update that removed the Give Cash option from the Interaction menu. Update 1.10 F*ck You

You can even call your MOC with no cooldown....

(Return to storage > Request MOC)

You want to gave your truck that can survives like 10 rpg's delivered ?

No problem, it's right around the corner !

 

You want your fighter jet with explosive cannons delivered ?

No problem, it's at the closest helipad !

 

You want to have your rusty tornado delivered that is slow and dies after 1 explosion ?

Sorry... you have to wait 5 minutes.

 

 

I started Haulage in my custom phantom, when some dude wanted to kill me... I got out, shot him, got back in the truck and drove away. He then chased me...

Stickie after stickie... I just kept on trucking. Until he threw another one, crashed, and killed himself lol.

Delivered the trailer, and drove back to him.

Again, he spammed stickies while I was busy crushing his car and used my ap-pistol to try to kill him.

I shot on a stickie he was about to throw another one... BOOM !

his car exploded while just kept on trucking lol.

"-150$, bad sport ! You destroyed a pv !"

Lol.

 

Then he also used grennade launcher and minigun... I killem him, then one more explosive and he finally got me and my truck. Got myself a fresh new truck, placed a stickie on the bumper and this time chases him.

After driving all the way to the dessert, I hit his car at the airstrip and detonated my stickie lol.

It went on for quite a while when he finally activated passive mode .

Edited June 26, 2017 by Goingcrowd9

[Fennimoe]

Well, I was using armor piercing rounds on my MG... I wasn't too worried about having only 480 rounds total... But, when you die, no matter how, you lose your current magazine ammo. So, die 5 times, that's 400 rounds just gone.

 

Needless to say, I switched back to normal ammo

Edited June 26, 2017 by Fennimoe

[Sky_Light12]

how did i didn't knew the trailer respawn whetever i stuck

 

i really hate some deliveries need to be 15 minutes and resupply alone is 30 min especially when you're late an inches away to your bunker

[whywontyoulisten]

 

[Fireboy769]

Me: (Starts Gun Sale)

 

*Keep in mind I had to wait another 2 hours since i lagged out twice from the sales. The first time was Delivering Marshall Trucks which wasn't as bad as some People made it out to be. Just blow it up with Homing Rockets. It won't respawn. The second time was a simple Deliver Insurgents to Destination. There was no BS involved except there was a Gimmick: If all 3 Insurgents stayed together, you would be Off-Radar Indefinitely. This also made the screen have a 'Security Camera' effect.)

 

Agent 14: Deliver The Guns using Phantom Wedges. Avoid Police.

 

Me: (Flashes back to when I helped someone do this. My Phantom catched fire and exploded. The guns didnt blow up though.)

 

Me: NoooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (Orders MOC. Takes Phantom Custom. Detaches MOC. Hooks onto the guns) LET'S DO THIS, B*TCH!

 

 

We ended up completing that sale. Thank you, the power of public Crew Member Only Lobbies!

 

(Though to be fair, the second guy got his Gun Trailer knocked over. We spent a full minute trying to knock it upright when it just respawned nearby. We were all 'Ummmm......ok')

[Coleco]

Trying to stop a Merryweather convoy APC transporting supplies is all well and good but if the amateur-hour AI programming didn't make it so NPC vehicles just plough through everything of course i'm going to blow that sh*t up.

 

The vehicle mass is so inconsistent in this game I can't rely on roadblocks to capture my targets because the game decides "f*ck you, nothing can stop this vehicle" way, way way too often.

 

Yet when I transport supplies? A passing moth or a nearby sneeze could spin my slow-ass van around

 

 

[Pete4000uk]

Got blown up doing the reverse challenge only for the bumhole to to straight into passive mode.

 

I did still win, just.

[TankGirl]

Im not sure why but I have been having so many issues with my buzzard lately. The other day I called one in and I couldnt take off in it, it was as if there was an invisable shield above and I could only go so many feet in the air with it. Then a few times I have landed my buzzard like I usually do and it blows up.

[TheFroggmann]

I'm pretty sure whoever programmed the traffic for I/E sales has secured his spot in Hell.

 

Exactly why is this still a thing?

 

[madmanaz]

Thanks for bringing me my car mechanic

 

Mechanic is still salty from all the butt-whoopings he took before.

[TheFroggmann]

SERIOUSLY??? NOT THE 1ST TIME COCKSTAR, OUT OF NO WHERE???

upload image net

 

AND WHEN THE f*ck DID MY CARGOBOB GETS DAMAGED???

 

upload image net

 

I am fine with any missions for vehicle sourcin except this 3

1: THE BARGE!!! Those AI buzzards shot me down on the ground by spawnning above me and i got no time to react

2: Car is on the move in sandyshores freeway, and that AI even crash my cargobob when i block its way

3: POICE CHASING

 

 

1. Barge: If on the west coast, take the car and leave near the runway at Zancudo. Take your CB to the Lazer hanger and either snipe the buzzards or let the Zancudo guys bring them down. As for the reason to leave the car ont he runway, sometimes the buzzards just auger in once they reach Zancudo airspace.

 

2, 3. I believe you are talking about the police chase scenarios. Sometimes you can snipe the driver from a distance before it activates. Otherwise, nuke from orbit and go get another one.

 

 

And no, you're not alone. Typically this happens when the last player other than you leaves the lobby. It was supposed to be fixed, but we are talking aobut R* here.

 

 

[autobot_hotwire]

Why must we play in a wide open lobby to make any money? I would love to do my CEO/MC/GR work in an I view Only session! I'd even be willing to accept lower pay rates and more AI enemies just to avoid dealing with griefers!

-snip-

I was doing the Phantom Wedge run. Made it all the way to the south side of the city, about half a mile from the drop. A cop comes up beside me so, I put him into the wall. He slides right up under the trailer and martyrs himself! The trailer is destroyed in the explosion! FML!

Thanks for bringing me my car mechanic

-image-

Need some wheels?
YEAH! Yeah, I need some wheels! I need some wheels to get my wheels you f***ing moron!

Jesus, so now every time I log on, not only do I have to get calls from Lester about heists, Malc about biker sh*t, and my assistant about import/export sh*t, now I also get calls from Agent 15 about gunning sh*t. Make it stop R*! Make it stop!!! lol

"Boss, it's me. This garage space is still..." I'M NOT BUYING THE OVERPRICED GARAGE! STOP CALLING!

 

Also, no one likes you, Brucie!

 

Merged triple post - in the future please edit your post instead of double/triple posting, thanks!

Edited June 26, 2017 by RedDagger

[Shadowfennekin]

.........This is NOT a coincidence

Right away upon getting into Online, I start Fortified.

Done and vehicle is about to explode.....

"Connection to Xbox Live Lost"

!!!!!!

I look over at my computer, but the internet is just fine? Xbox Live isn't having problems either, but I restart the console and go back into Online.

3 hours of playing later.....

I decided to try Fortified again as I just forgot about it.

Completed and once again the vehicle is about to detonate.....

"Connection to Xbox Live Lost"

!!!!!!!

I call BS

It acted completely fine until I did Fortified again

[AH-6_BirdTurd]

Im so sick of those stupid banners that take up the screen for like 10sec. In that time i cant use my map expansion. Is there a way to keep those from popping up?

[Nyamber]

Im so sick of those stupid banners that take up the screen for like 10sec. In that time i cant use my map expansion. Is there a way to keep those from popping up?

Unfortunately not. Those things piss me off so much.

[Mach1bud]

 

Im so sick of those stupid banners that take up the screen for like 10sec. In that time i cant use my map expansion. Is there a way to keep those from popping up?

Unfortunately not. Those things piss me off so much.

Agreed. You can limit them by opting out of all of the Freemode events, so that takes away many of them.

 

The time trial one is annoying since I like to be able to see while I'm driving.

 

Same thing with the killfeed above the minimap. I care 0% about who is doing what or who killed who. I wish I could turn that off completely.

[Shadowfennekin]

Im so sick of those stupid banners that take up the screen for like 10sec. In that time i cant use my map expansion. Is there a way to keep those from popping up?

The MC activity ones piss me off the most

You can be on the other side of the state and NEVER even be near them. But no... after they're done or it ends.... you have that damn banner blocking your map, and somehow it is ALWAYS when I need to zoom out!

[TheFroggmann]

Ok can we f*cking stop with the police raids yet?

 

 

I checked after Still had my product. Next day when I tried to sell it... Gone. Of course I didn't find that out until after enduring raids on my other two businesses. Oh and these started immediately upon registering as a MC.

 

 

Edited June 26, 2017 by TheFroggmann