Next DLC Speculation Thread (Part 3)

[Kirsty]

There's no use in denying it: this has been a bad week. I've started drinking my own urine. I laugh spontaneously at nothing. Sometimes I sleep under my futon. I'm flossing my teeth constantly until my gums are aching and my mouth tastes like blood. Before dinner last night at 1500 with Reed Goodrich and Jason Rust I was almost caught at a Federal Express in Times Square trying to send the mother of one of the girls I killed last week what might be a dried-up, brown heart. And to Evelyn I successfully Federal Expressed, through the office, a small box of flies along with a note, typed by Jean, saying that I never, ever wanted to see her face again and, though she doesn't really need one, to go on a f*cking diet. But there are also things that the average person would think are nice that I've done to celebrate the holiday, items I've bought Jean and had delivered to her apartment this morning: Castellini cotton napkins from Bendel's, a wicker chair from Jenny B. Goode, a taffeta table throw from Barney's, a vintage chain-mail-vent purse and a vintage sterling silver dresser set from Macy's, a white pine whatnot from Conran's, an Edwardian nine-carat-gold "gate" bracelet from Bergdorfs and hundreds upon hundreds of pink and white roses.

[FrozenDanCicle]

Resisting urge to create fake leak

Stay strong, lest your manberries be removed for the attempt.

[Dust]

 

I whisper, oh so wearily into the dark, cold night, "where is the dawn? when will the gentle rays of light bless thy face?"

 

A voice echoes from afar. So soft, ones own heart beat could drown it

 

"Six"

I can no longer resist leaks. I open GTAForums and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the Next DLC Speculation Thread, I moan in ecstacy. The leaks are rough, but the info is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave GTAForums, I exit through the front door.

 

But you entered through the back door? Right?

Edited June 4, 2017 by Dust

[H x R G]

Must I, hereforth, gently thrust mine missile up your lower crevice - causing torment most un-arousing, most dis-pleasurable; that you should then scream the name of our theistic entity, known as Hunter?

Yes please

Edited June 4, 2017 by VoodooVibez

[askinnywhitedildo]

What the alas did do thou just f*cking declare about me, thou dram brach? I’ll hast thou wot I graduated top of mine class in Banning Forum Members 101, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on fake leaks and I hast ov'r 300 confirmed banned members. I am did train in locking topics and I’m the top sniper in the entire GTAForums staff cap-a-pe forces. Thou art nothing to me but just another target. I wilt wipe thou the alas out with precision the likes of which hath nev'r been seen 'ere on this Earth, mark mine f*cking words. Thou bethink thou can receiveth aroint with declaring yond did sh*t to me ov'r the Internet? Bethink again, f*cker. As we speaketh I am contacting mine secret network of spies across the USA and thy IP is being traced right anon so thou better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm yond wipes out the pathetic dram thing thou clepe thy life. Thou’re f*cking dead, peat. I can beest anywhere, anytime, and I can killeth thou in ov'r seven hundred ways, and yond’s just with mine bare hands. Not only am I extensively did train in unarmed combat, but I hast access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I wilt did lie-to 't to its full extent to wipe thy miserable rampallian off the visage of the continent, thou dram did sh*t. If 't be true only thou couldst hast known what unholy retribution thy dram “clever” comment wast about to endue down upon thou, haply thou would hast did hold thy f*cking tongue. But thou couldn’t, thou didn’t, and anon thou’re paying the price, thou goddamn blinking clotpole. I wilt did sh*t fury all ov'r thou and thou wilt drown in 't. Thou’re f*cking dead, kiddo.

What the f*ck did I just read...

 

I'm too high

[RetroStyle]

 

 

 

This thread got semi-derailed in the matter of a few hours.

Nothing new really lol

 

Just a typical saturday lol. Im actually suprised we havent had more fake leaks tbh.

 

Why don't you look at the last few pages.

 

A cpl fake leak posts is meh. Do you remember the softsecrets fake leak? That went for days.

[Kirsty]

What the f*ck did I just read...

 

I'm too high

You're also a dildo so I guess it's not worth explaining.

[Sunny_D]

What happens when you have a bladder infection?

Urine trouble

[q655]

With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come;

[Azaan60]

You know things are bad when even the Admin starts sh*tposting

Edited June 4, 2017 by Azaan60

[SCORE_PR0]

I all of the sudden became very uncomfortable reading this thread.

[CUTS3R]

 

Why don't you look at the last few pages.

 

A cpl fake leak posts is meh. Do you remember the softsecrets fake leak? That went for days.

 

Assuming these won't ?

[askinnywhitedildo]

 

What the f*ck did I just read...

 

I'm too high

You're also a dildo so I guess it's not worth explaining.

 

That's all I am to you? A little plastic f*ck machine?

[Spider-Vice]

Confirmed, leaked in-game footage of the Hunter:

Edited June 4, 2017 by Spider-Vice

[Mach1bud]

With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come;

 

break thee off wench

[DeltaShadowZ]

You know things are bad when even the Admin starts sh*tposting

 

Like in classic Shakespearean form, this thread is a tragedy

[DrSame]

Sorry, there are 50 more pages since the last time I entered this thread. What did I miss? There's more leaked information or is it all fake news?

[SCORE_PR0]

Confirmed, leaked in-game footage of the Hunter:

How dare you mock our savior! This should be a bannable offense!

[Happy Hunter]

I all of the sudden became very uncomfortable reading this thread.

Perhaps thou art more comfortable in a cockpit of sorts?

[SCORE_PR0]

I'd much rather have some plausible info to go off of in terms of release date lol.

[IceDree]

Do you remember the softsecrets fake leak? That went for days.

We know better now... Until the next time someone brings him up & we reset the clock again.

[FrozenDanCicle]

 

I all of the sudden became very uncomfortable reading this thread.

Perhaps thou art more comfortable in a cockpit of sorts?

I worry my friend thou hast just invited him into thy mouth.

[RetroStyle]

Im not sure, but i think Kirsty is turning me on in some twisted way. I read her posts and imagine her accent......

[GhillieMaster]

Ahhh... So this is what happens to this thread after dark... Interesting...

[askinnywhitedildo]

Sorry, there are 50 more pages since the last time I entered this thread. What did I miss? There's more leaked information or is it all fake news?

There's a bunch of old English accents coming out too.

 

Sadly, being American, I can't type like that. The best I can do is The Deliverance type sh*t.

[Kirsty]

Just remember, "leaked" information can always change, nothing is set in stone. If all you guys want is a release date, then you've only got 4 possible outcomes since it's coming this month.

[q655]

Edit

Edited June 4, 2017 by q655

[Cavot]

Im not sure, but i think Kirsty is turning me on in some twisted way. I read her posts and imagine her accent......

Well, this thread just got a tad bit creepy.

[Hybrid_Punk]

Im not sure, but i think Kirsty is turning me on in some twisted way. I read her posts and imagine her accent......

Didn't think I'd have to use this again...

[FrozenDanCicle]

 

Im not sure, but i think Kirsty is turning me on in some twisted way. I read her posts and imagine her accent......

Didn't think I'd have to use this again...

Is that a baby? A pope? A baby pope?