Best Quote?

[universetwisters 33,490]

Thirty six flavors of titty

[Nappy 1,338]

“I WOULDN’T DO THAT!”

[Ivellios 46]

Very emotional and funny-sounding Polish sentence "CO TO KURRRWA JEST" (WHATDA FFFF*CK IS THAT) by some female pedestrian.

[billiejoearmstrong8 4,686]

There's this one Russian ped who describes all the things he'll do to your different body parts:

"I will rip your arms and beat you with them"

"I will shove your shins up your ass"

"I will tie you up with your tongue"

"You will be walking on your groin"

"I will tie your ears behind your head"

"I will make you eat your own eyes for this"

"I will turn your nose upside down"

"I will put my hand in his mouth and push out his eyeballs from behind"

"I am going to break all your fingers"

"I'll rip your hands off"

"I will ram that f***ing horn down your throat" 

"I'll cut your nose off for this"

"Do you want me to crush your balls"

"Move or I'll rip your heart out"

 

I always seem to be fighting him, he's the best lol. Also heard another couple of gems from Russians the other day: "F*** yourself with a dirty broom" and "You drive like a circus bear you f***ing idiot"

 

Gang dialogue in this game is so good, Russian gang members being my favourite. I listen to these videos for fun:

 

 

[xsweetbellic 1]

“The thing is... you know Jesus? He did some crazy sh*t, too. I mean, everyone does. He killed people. He killed that John the Baptist cat. He did what he had to.”

 

Playboy’s ignorance seriously cracks me up.

 

Also:
 

”Niko: Where did you get out from?

Dwayne: Preschool.”

 

The fact that this is one of the few moments where Niko genuinely laughs at a joke make this one of my favorite moments, lol.

[Marsi4eg 384]

"Зачем нужно жрать капусту, если есть картошка?" - Vlad (was said in original language ingame)

[billiejoearmstrong8 4,686]

9 hours ago, Marsi4eg said:

"Зачем нужно жрать капусту, если есть картошка?" - Vlad (was said in original language ingame)

Before I went to google translate I already knew what quote it would be  

Edited February 6 by billiejoearmstrong8

[Damien Scott 732]

There's a very interesting conversation between Niko and Kiki Jenkins:

 

Niko: ''I'm a criminal and a murderer. I arrived in your country and fell in with a bad crowd. What rights do I have?''

Kiki: ''I'm so sorry! Our society let you down! My country failed you!''

Niko: ''I think I failed your country! As I see it, I have chosen to live life outside the law. Rights mean nothing to me now.''

 

Niko acknowledges he has chosen the criminal lifestyle and he knows the consequences of his acts.

 

[Nappy 1,338]

Johnny: (Orders a burger)

Clay: Fuuck i got some serious heat!

Cleaner lady: Wtf is goin on?!

[Niobium 11,189]

where's barbara with big titties and stephanie who sucks like a vaccum

[HisNameIsMilad 174]

3 hours ago, Niobium said:

where's barbara with big titties and stephanie who sucks like a vaccum

Classic Haha 

[billiejoearmstrong8 4,686]

Heard a black dude say "Get your hand out my pocket!". Nice tribute to the great Orange 12 from San Andreas.

[MyNameIsNotImportantBro 840]

"Wow be careful with that thing I heard it does funny things to your balls"

 

Niko Bellic To Brucie.

Edited February 23 by OmarMohammed

[Niobium 11,189]

after leaving the bar with jim

 

"i'm sober! let's have another drink :D" *falls flat on his face*

 

Edited February 27 by Niobium

[Noah5111 1]

"This is the mansion?"

Edited February 28 by Noah5111

[billiejoearmstrong8 4,686]

"Suck my circumcised cock!" - Johnny Klebitz  

[TheJesus1996 1,662]

"Everyone wants to pay homage to a dying legend, everyone wants the glamor of a bygone age..."

- Don Gravelli

[billiejoearmstrong8 4,686]

Damn I love all the scenes with Niko and Jon Gravelli

[theGTAking101 2,318]

"Welcome to Burger Shot muhhf*ckaa!"

"Here's that nasty garbage you ordered."

[HisNameIsMilad 174]

19 minutes ago, theGTAking101 said:

"Welcome to Burger Shot muhhf*ckaa!"

"Here's that nasty garbage you ordered."

Bon Appetit....Muhf.ckah lol

[MyNameIsNotImportantBro 840]

I CAN'T STAND THIS SH*T!!

-Niko Bellic, 2008

[billiejoearmstrong8 4,686]

Aowwwwwwwl see youuu laytaaaah!! - Ray Boccino

Edited March 9 by billiejoearmstrong8

[Niobium 11,189]

johnny: alright, since we've all uh... eaten... we got a new destination people!

[SeventyRanger42 52]

"Global Warming's a hoax, just like World War 2!"

[TheJesus1996 1,662]

U.L.P.C: "So, I hear you've found the big bad monster you were after? Bernie Crane, the muscle Mary. Come on."

 

Niko: "f*ck YoU"

[HisNameIsMilad 174]

4 hours ago, JC_HUMBLE said:

U.L.P.C: "So, I hear you've found the big bad monster you were after? Bernie Crane, the muscle Mary. Come on."

 

Niko: "f*ck YoU"

Haha xD 

[__SAAB__9-3__ 805]

U pičku materinu! --- Niko Bellic

Not olny do you not pay for the ride but you make the car smell of pig sh*t. --- Mohammed

V Soyuze bila krasota. Nikakikh tebe probok! --- Russian Taxi driver

Too many gorillas --- Homeless guy

You stupid malaka --- Greek Taxi driver

Niko it"s Roman! Lets go bowling  --- Roman

But if this ends up on the internet, ill kill you --- Michelle to Niko

Im from a Hamburg, dont attack me.

[Nappy 1,338]

f*ck calm

[billiejoearmstrong8 4,686]

"At least my mother does not live in cage in zoo" - Niko to drivers who almost hit him

 

Also

"I'm glad this is not my car"

"You know what? I don't even have a license!"

"You, if you drink and drive, Niko, you're a bloody idiot"

"Oh you IDiot!"

"If I was American, I'd sue for that"

"You American asshole!"

"This is the last f*cking thing I need"

 

Fun times driving with Niko

Edited March 13 by billiejoearmstrong8

[Niobium 11,189]

luis when jacking a dead person's car: "ain't your day bro. you gettin' murdered, AND robbed"