GTA Online Schoolboy Errors

[Big Molio]

schoolboy error

(n.)

1. a fundamental, simple mistake

2. an error, often insignificant, clumsy, dimwitted or effortlessly avoided

 

You know the ones. You have done this a thousand times, you know it like the back of your hand, you can't possibly go wrong and then .... you blow it, doing something really stupid!

 

I'll start...

 

You're racing the Stunt Track "Mountain Drop", you're in a slim lead and you can see the finish line. You try to squeeze past that little ramp at the end like you have done dozens of times, but you have a wobble trying to get past it, accidentally go up the ramp and sail over and outside the track barriers. All other riders pass laughing.

 

What are your embarrassing GTA Online blunders, mishaps and cock-ups?

Edited September 21, 2018 by Big Molio

[kovaandr]

This one has been a few years back; prison break finale everything finally went perfect, nobody died,  nobody messed up landing on the beach with the parachute. I was demolition in the Buzzard waiting for everybody to get in, ez game ez life. But then, for whatever reason, my trigger-finger got, well, triggerd just as I was about to take off, shooting a rocket right at our feet killing us all.

Needless to say my crew was lightly salted after that. 

[Smooth Longsack]

Calling Lester to hide your bunker sale. 

[Lonely-Martin]

As a big heister here at times, I couldn't begin to list all the 'oops' moments I've caused or witnessed dude. Most of the times I'm with friends so it's far easier to see the funny in it too, often moments I or one of us don't live down for a day or 2, until another takes top spot, lol. Good times.

 

Just Wednesday I popped on for an hour and jumped into Series A - Meth on call. (Collect the tanker from the O'Neil's). Reversed into the trailer a bit feisty, oops. Bang! Felt like a tit and on restart I had to text all 3, far lower ranked than my 887, just how sorry and daft I was. 2 lol'd. (I left them to it and just shot bandits after, lol).

 

Early days, it took me so long to get comfy on these, especially glyong ones. CMM was miles away, and I know I cost many players good time then. Accidents happen and I'll always restart if it's on me. It's these moments I use when on call as I usually can tell accidents or a bit of dopey play compared to deliberate trolling.

 

One thing freemode change did do. Cleared heists of most trolls.

[REXX]

For me its probably its probably forgetting to put bulletproof tyres on my vehicles. I know I have to, and complete forget in the process.

[Dr.Rosenthal]

While on foot fighting, taking cover behind a corner believing the opponent is fighting fairly, and not seeing that he’ll naturally spam rockets.

 

That’s the main one that I can think of now, and it always makes me bash myself thinking ”I really should have seen that coming.”

I never spam rockets myself. But I’m beginning to learn not to take cover behind corners, lol.

 

 

[SHARKEM]

pacific standard finale. beach the boat.

 

and ppl still walk into tail rotors of helis all the time.

[Smooth Longsack]

11 minutes ago, SHARKEM said:

ppl still walk into tail rotors of helis all the time.

Just happened to an airman on the USS George Bush a couple days ago. Wasn't a heli though. It was a E2-c Hawkeye (giant prop plane capable of carrier duty). 

[xxJ0n4Th0Nxx]

1 hour ago, REXX said:

For me its probably its probably forgetting to put bulletproof tyres on my vehicles. I know I have to, and complete forget in the process.

About a month ago, I got a Sabre Turbo for my office garage. I did the full custom job, thought I got everything. I was driving it with a friend while being chased by police and one of the rear tyres blew out. I just stared at the screen for a few seconds thinking how the f... 

 

Didn't put bulletproof tyres on. smfh

1 hour ago, SHARKEM said:

and ppl still walk into tail rotors of helis all the time.

A random in my friend's CEO did that last night. Friendly fire off saved him, though

[Guest]

- Last-seconds-f*ck-ups in races of course,

 

- But I had much more embarrassing moments during the first weeks flying helicopter. Used default keyboard setting back then, and as it happens, the key for toggling camera view is located side by side with enter/exit vehicle (and we are speaking of a rather compact keyboard). So nervous-me tries to land a helicopter …. approach just fine, now let's quickly go into top-view for some final adjust----NOOOOOO!

Needless to say, I either died from impact, or from having a helicopter full of unhappy co-players fall on my head.

(Simply didn't occur to me for quite some time to change anything in control settings, don't know why really, maybe because everything in the game was still so overwhelming.)

 

- Then some misfiring of synapses one day had my brain suddenly insist on that the only way to enter a friend's vehicle as passenger was pressing and holding the entry key in any situation, leading to a whole evening of me pushing unsuspecting team drivers out of their cars at mostly inopportune moments, constantly complaining about buggy controls.

Luckily, I did the latter so convincingly that they never found out.

(Yes, a real secret disclosed here!)

 

 

 

Edited September 21, 2018 by Guest

[kcole4001]

I was notorious for that in my Akula!

The key for landing gear and the enter/exit vehicle key being right beside each other caused me to bail on landing approach literally dozens of times until I changed the key for enter/exit.

 

Also a bad one: I managed to replace my Armored Kuruma once with a stolen street Lampadati GT in my apartment garage, thinking for some reason that the Kuruma would just be automatically shifted to an available spot in another garage.

Not bad, that only cost me around $800,000 to buy it back and remodify it...then it went on sale the very next week...

[Taterman]

When I first bought a Deluxo, I was used to flying a Buzzard and went to shoot missiles from the over the ocean in Dispatch II. Hit the A button (Xbox) to shoot out of habit and promptly sank.

This happened twice. 

[lll-H-I-M-lll]

Picking fights with people late at night, who are hours behind me and awake.............. yes im singling out you americans and canadians

[Slam_Jones]

*Driving around on my Oppressor*

 

*Pull up alongside another player*

 

*Attempt to honk the horn as a friendly "hello"*

 

*Smash into the wall across the street instead*

[Willy A. Jeep]

Taking off and flying helicopters while focusing on the anything - chat, other players, the ground - but what I'm doing, and slamming into buildings, trees, mountains... Textbook blunder. Still do it all the time.

[lll-H-I-M-lll]

22 minutes ago, Willy A. Jeep said:

Taking off and flying helicopters while focusing on the anything - chat, other players, the ground - but what I'm doing, and slamming into buildings, trees, mountains... Textbook blunder. Still do it all the time.

Buzzard rear blade 

[Mel94]

3 hours ago, Slam_Jones said:

*Driving around on my Oppressor*

 

*Pull up alongside another player*

 

*Attempt to honk the horn as a friendly "hello"*

 

*Smash into the wall across the street instead*

The MK 2 oppressor has been the bane of my life for this. Press A to accept an invite? *vrooooom!* 

Even better when I'm in the middle of hopping off it and press A to run, *vroooom!* and dead splat on my nightclub wall.  

Edited September 22, 2018 by Mel94

[Kushology]

I think I was playing with fellow GTAF members(of the forum) in heists, I was jumping to move faster with vest..my character decided to jump off a bridge and commit suicide..for no reason.

 

I never make mistakes like that, I've done CCM numerous times prior and after this event..

 

 

2 hours ago, Slam_Jones said:

*Driving around on my Oppressor*

 

*Pull up alongside another player*

 

*Attempt to honk the horn as a friendly "hello"*

 

*Smash into the wall across the street instead*

 

"I guess you could say..

 

*puts sunglasses on*

 

you live up to your name"

 

YEEEAAAHHH

 

Geddit?

 

'cause slam jones?

[Mel94]

Tumbling off the roof instead of taking ladders when coming down from a building in a heist. One night, my friend was drunk and kept falling off the roof at the start of the Servers Farm set up, lol. 

[Dr.Rosenthal]

Flying into power pylons. Happens even to the best of us lol

[Lance Mayhem]

5 hours ago, Mel94 said:

Tumbling off the roof instead of taking ladders when coming down from a building

 

Constantly. 

[Taterman]

1 hour ago, Lance Mayhem said:

 

Constantly. 

Same here. Lots of good posts in this thread, I'm guilty of many of them.

[kcole4001]

Here's one from last night:

 I had to kill a little time between Client Jobs, so I ran a nightclub promo...get the 'steal back the supplies' jam.  (didn't want to use $10,000 to rebook a DJ)

Oh well, on with the show.

Killed off the lost on their bikes and I'm cruisin' pretty smoothly down the winding Hills roads when I'm about to miss a turn to the right, so instead of ramming the wall at the edge of the road (and losing a bunch of health), I go left onto the grass figuring I'll just back out onto the road and resume the cruise.

Oh no, no, no!

The grass slopes down steeply, and the Mule gets wedged into a hedge at the bottom of a steep grade and won't move.

I try ramming it with a stolen street car on both sides, no effect.

I get my Cargobob...won't hook of course.

I blow up the street car...nothing.

I get pissed and shoot the fuxing truck with my combat MG...the truck won't die!

Finally, I use the grenade launcher on it...still won't die, but it moved a little.

So I try to back out again and it actually starts to move!  (verrrry slowly)

 

I hightail it for the club and slide into the winner circle with 1 second left on the timer.

 

Moral of the story: don't f*ck around during routine driving missions.

I wasted 20 minutes on that one when it should have been over easily in 10.

This especially applies to single Insurgent bunker sales, I've almost screwed that one several times while ramming npc cars off the highway for entertainment (shenanigans).

Edited September 22, 2018 by kcole4001

[Forza Harrd]

Needing quick transportation so I steal a car. Aaaaaaaand it's a Simeon car (I made money stealing Simeon cars for about a year so I KNOW BETTER BUT I STILL DO IT WHYYYYYYYYYYY????).

 

Also every "hitting the wrong button" error already described in the thread, including getting a wanted level because I got a phone call from some idiot after just taking off in my Buzzard, hitting A with the phone and firing a missile. Every time I fly a Buzzard. For the last two years. o_O

[_Sprocket_]

Start doing something important. Phone decides to throw up loads of Martin style job invites. Can't have all of them cluttering up the place. Go to delete them to please my OCD. Brain plays the ultimate joke of forgetting how clear them. I get pulled out of my important thing and enter a random job somewhere else and have to quit out. Fool

[IceDree]

Firing up a gun & then crossing the street.

[Nihilist.]

Doing any business work and/or trying to peacefuly socialize in public sessions.

Also, purchasing the underground facility.

 

 

On a more serious note, however, here's few:

1. Not allowing your team to choose their own saved outfits in heists, especially featuring randoms, preventing them from using heavy utility vests.

2. Choosing easy/normal difficulty in missions and heists, especially ones not involving actual combat. Examples being EMP delivery from Humane Labs raid or looking for a van in Pac Standard.

3. Not purchasing upgrades for your businesses, especially related to staff and equuipment. Also producing and researching in the bunker at the same time.

4. Purchasing a club if you don't own other businesses, preferably 5, to connect it to them, and generate some profits.

5. Purchasing garages instead of safehouses.

[Arrows to Athens]

Want to take out my homing launcher and a fire at a player in the distance, but bring up my grenade launcher instead, since that was the last weapon I used.

[aFinn]

This has happened to me not once, but twice over the years with various characters.

So I go get a BMX bike from the rec centre to drive it up to the end of LS River to that gathering of BMX bikes so I can choose the color I want.

They spawn after noon so as I'm paddling happily along LS River I open my phone to check if it's time yet... and promptly accept a stupid Martin job invite since I keep pressing x to paddle. Upon exiting I have of course lost the borrowed BMX. Sigh.

[IceDree]

My new phone once switched Rogue to Rouge & I didn't even notice.

 

It was embarrassing lol.