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Neon_Dreaming

Advice

Recommended Posts

Neon_Dreaming

Hey everyone, i'd like to hear your opinions on this. I have been a regular at this coffee shop for about a year, there's this woman who worked there who I was attracted to. Today by chance I bumped into her and we had a little chat, she said that she is working in a new coffee shop now. 

 

I want to ask her out, on friday i'm meeting a friend for coffee, and we're going to the coffee shop where she works. Now I didn't ask her out before because it's her workplace and I didn't think it was appropriate to ask somebody out during work. The last thing I want to do is make her uncomfortable.

 

The difference here is that i'm only going to the coffee shop where she now works on friday as a once off. I won't be going there again, do you think it would be ok to give her my number, it's not something I would usually do but i'd like some closure on this crush. By giving her my number the balls in her court, she can message me and that would be great, and if she doesn't that's fine too.

 

 

 

 

Edited by Neon_Dreaming

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trip

Holy crap.  She just changed coffee shops and out of nowhere you are going to show up where she now works?  Like in her first few days of working the new location?  Be careful because on the surface that may come off as stalker'ish.

 

But really.  Be bold.  Always.  You should have already given her your number.

 

Honest though... You'll have to explain the 'by chance' of you showing up at her new place.  It could even work for you maybe.  "Ohhhh since this isn't my coffee shop and I won't see you again..."

 

E:

Normally I don't involve myself in these types of threads here.  But since you said coffee shop and I enjoyed my years of running a cafe(pre starbucks) I couldn't help myself.

Edited by trip

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Neon_Dreaming
6 minutes ago, trip said:

Holy crap.  She just changed coffee shops and out of nowhere you are going to show up where she now works?  Like in her first few days of working the new location?  Be careful because on the surface that may come off as stalker'ish.

I think there's been a bit of a misunderstanding. She told me where she is now working and said to call in sometime. 

E: I should have made that clear in the op.

Edited by Neon_Dreaming

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Laker23

Shoot your shot. You'll regret it and always end up with a 'what if' feeling if you don't at least try. 

 

You don't really have anything to lose.

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AiraCobra

You miss the 100% of the shots you don't take so you'll only hurt yourself if you don't attempt to make that one shot.

 

There's no harm in asking her out but I would suggest something other than Coffee since she is around Coffee ALL day long I doubt the first thing she'll want to do is sit down in a coffee shop for Coffee but then again I could be wrong she may not mind since she wouldn't be the one making it but drinking it.

 

Even if she does reject you then chalk it up to a learning experience for what to do and not do next time you ask a lady out on  a date and getting rejected only helps boost your confidence when it comes to asking someone else out because you've already gotten that first awkward rejection out of the way and you won't give off that negative energy people tend to give off when they're afraid of rejection.

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Motherstep

What I will say is go into this new coffee place with the intention of taking your beverage out. That way, you don't have to sit there lingering with this coffee you've bought as a bargaining chip until it's lukewarm enough to gulp down and then flee if she says no. Rejection has been chalked up to be this big bad wolf of social interaction when we actually deal with rejection every day of our lives, from a broken vending machine to a one way sign on the street. The only difference is there's somebody else involved here, and they're as equally layered and emotional as you.

 

I say you march in there, order your coffee, make your small-talk and ask her at the end. Can't do any harm. It isn't like you're hiding in a tree with a set of binoculars longing to lick the foam from her apron. She's made it clear where she works now, and from the sounds of it she's obviously keen on a visit from you.

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Neon_Dreaming

I ended up going to the coffee shop today and she and I are now going out for drinks at the weekend, so it's all good in the hood. Thanks for the encouragement guys. 

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Motherstep

If this drink is coffee, I'm going to be very upset.

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chronic lumbago

Congrats, enjoy your hot coffee.

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Neon_Dreaming
5 minutes ago, ∴ said:

If this drink is coffee, I'm going to be very upset.

Lol, thankfully not, the closest we'll come to coffee is a baileys.

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Voodoo

ofeemue.png

 

Congrats.

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Mister Pinkerton

Bizarrely unique and non-creeper topic where OP resolves the issue by swiftly being a boss and asking her out before the topic could even get luke-warm. Good man. Enjoy your evening out with her. 

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Sanches

Why not bust a move? But make sure that she was nice to you not because it's a part of her job.

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