The Official B*tch & Moan Thread (Part 1)

[Mr_Zombly]

Well this didn't sound right:

 

 

Explosions, long time in clouds, seems pretty normal to me.

[AusSantos]

30 seconds to go on the Piracy Prevention countdown timer and the session splits. f*ck...

[Quiet Lady]

Grabbed a jet when I saw a few of my crew members getting griefed by two other jets. Killed 'em, all's fine; I stay in the air since I know they're going to grab more.

 

Proceed to be the eye in the sky, but then some guy starts coming towards me in a Lazer in passive. I chase him for a bit, waiting for him to hop out of passive. This goes on for about 5 minutes. It's obvious he's not going to exit while I'm on his tail. I eventually get bored with him and go back over towards my crew, only to see that he's gone off radar. He kills me before I can do the same.

 

I'm all for passive if you just want to be left alone, but for f*ck's sake, why are you able to go passive while in an armed vehicle? IIRC, on last gen you'd get knocked out of passive while doing so. Why not on current gen?

Edited May 14, 2016 by Shirotani

[Azirah]

 

Are you kidding me?

 

 

 

 

 

Ugh, I play too much 'The Division' and thought that was a contaminated area.

[TexasRocks]

If I had a dollar for every goddamn time I've fallen off a ledge trying to climb down a goddamn ladder..

Lmao, this drives me nuts, especially when I'm trying to get through missions without losing any body armor. The interaction with ladders is completely retarded.

[DominusTaranis]

People whining over slipstream in an arcadey ass racing game.

 

Happens in real life you idiots, it's just, wait for it, not as arcadey! Plus, you can easily beat it if you pay attention to your radar. Git gud.

[No Use For A Name]

Steal car, put in garage, take to LSC without damaging it. $51 repair bill.

 

Call up mechanic next to Benny's, drive car straight into garage without touching anything. $950 repair bill.

 

Bribe the cops and cause havoc DO. Drive across town, get heli, park at busy intersection. Cops Turn Blind Eye grayed out and "Unavailable"

 

Go for a round at shooting range DO. Go to shooting range, blue circle isn't there.

 

Flight school lesson DO. Go to Flight School, blue circle isn't there.

 

Bike race DO. Blue icons not showing up even though jobs aren't set to "hide." Toggle between hide and custom and still nothing.

 

Get pissed, do a mission quick job, half a second before it launches every blue game icon returns.

 

Quit job, go back to do bike race, blue icons gone.

 

 

I need a beer

[DedetOS1]

Steal car, put in garage, take to LSC without damaging it. $51 repair bill.

 

Call up mechanic next to Benny's, drive car straight into garage without touching anything. $950 repair bill.

 

Bribe the cops and cause havoc DO. Drive across town, get heli, park at busy intersection. Cops Turn Blind Eye grayed out and "Unavailable"

 

Go for a round at shooting range DO. Go to shooting range, blue circle isn't there.

 

Flight school lesson DO. Go to Flight School, blue circle isn't there.

 

Bike race DO. Blue icons not showing up even though jobs aren't set to "hide." Toggle between hide and custom and still nothing.

 

Get pissed, do a mission quick job, half a second before it launches every blue game icon returns.

 

Quit job, go back to do bike race, blue icons gone.

 

 

I need a beer

 

 

I feel exactly all.Lots of bullsh*t to get angry about.But you can't enable Cops Blind Eye option while you have cops behind you.It's Lester's "Remove Wanted Level" option which is useful in this situation

Edited May 14, 2016 by Freak_Show

[sreyazsec]

I've literally just threw my controller against my tv stand. Prison break finale. Demolition lands the helicopter directly next to the cliff. I was the first there, press triangle and get hit with the propellers. I spawn, press triangle AGAIN when I am right next to the door and get mowed down.

 

Piece of f*cking sh*t. This game drives me f*cking mad sometimes. I was the bloody prison officer, 35 kills - no deaths and we fail because my character chose to have a jog around the chopper instead of getting inside it!??!?!

[Voit Turyv]

I've literally just thrown my controller against my tv stand. Prison break finale. Demolition lands the helicopter directly next to the cliff. I was the first there, press triangle and get hit with the propellers. I spawn, press triangle AGAIN when I am right next to the door and get mowed down.

 

Piece of f*cking sh*t. This game drives me f*cking mad sometimes. I was the bloody prison officer, 35 kills - no deaths and we fail because my character chose to have a jog around the chopper instead of getting inside it!??!?!

There is a door in the rear part of fuselage.

Also, FTFY.

[sreyazsec]

 

I've literally just thrown my controller against my tv stand. Prison break finale. Demolition lands the helicopter directly next to the cliff. I was the first there, press triangle and get hit with the propellers. I spawn, press triangle AGAIN when I am right next to the door and get mowed down.

 

Piece of f*cking sh*t. This game drives me f*cking mad sometimes. I was the bloody prison officer, 35 kills - no deaths and we fail because my character chose to have a jog around the chopper instead of getting inside it!??!?!

There is a door in the rear part of fuselage.

Also, FTFY.

 

I have no idea what you're talking about..

 

EDIT - Also my sentence was supposed to be 'I literally just threw my controller'. My I's change to I've on my laptop. I don't always remember to proofread.

Edited May 14, 2016 by ceszayers

[Member's Only]

I've literally just threw my controller against my tv stand. Prison break finale. Demolition lands the helicopter directly next to the cliff. I was the first there, press triangle and get hit with the propellers. I spawn, press triangle AGAIN when I am right next to the door and get mowed down.

 

Piece of f*cking sh*t. This game drives me f*cking mad sometimes. I was the bloody prison officer, 35 kills - no deaths and we fail because my character chose to have a jog around the chopper instead of getting inside it!??!?!

Perks of PC gaming, instead of throwing a projectile that could potentially severely damage my display, bounce off and hurt loved ones around me, I just furiously bang on the keyboard and mouse.

 

 

not srs

 

Edited May 14, 2016 by GradeA-Hole

[Voit Turyv]

 

 

I've literally just thrown my controller against my tv stand. Prison break finale. Demolition lands the helicopter directly next to the cliff. I was the first there, press triangle and get hit with the propellers. I spawn, press triangle AGAIN when I am right next to the door and get mowed down.

 

Piece of f*cking sh*t. This game drives me f*cking mad sometimes. I was the bloody prison officer, 35 kills - no deaths and we fail because my character chose to have a jog around the chopper instead of getting inside it!??!?!

There is a door in the rear part of fuselage.

Also, FTFY.

 

I have no idea what you're talking about..

 

EDIT - Also my sentence was supposed to be 'I literally just threw my controller'. My I's change to I've on my laptop. I don't always remember to proofread.

 

Nevermind, I thought you were referring to the plane and not heli.

This might be an American English borrowing, but shouldn't it be 'I have literally just thrown' and not 'I literally just threw,' considering your flag and all?

[Irish45455]

Well this didn't sound right:

 

 

 

Um... What the hell? Usually that happens to me, but the explosions are never in succession like that. Usually it's just a boom, ka boom, not boom, pause, boom, pause, boom. Definitely weird.

 

Are you kidding me?

 

 

 

 

 

 

How the hell do you f*ck up that badly?

[Shadowfennekin]

In Sandy Shores, VIP. Jet flying above me.

Start Most Wanted so I can get back to the city.

ALL THREE bodyguards die within a minute. -_-

Gee thanks guys

[Mr_Zombly]

 

I've literally just threw my controller against my tv stand. Prison break finale. Demolition lands the helicopter directly next to the cliff. I was the first there, press triangle and get hit with the propellers. I spawn, press triangle AGAIN when I am right next to the door and get mowed down.

 

Piece of f*cking sh*t. This game drives me f*cking mad sometimes. I was the bloody prison officer, 35 kills - no deaths and we fail because my character chose to have a jog around the chopper instead of getting inside it!??!?!

Perks of PC gaming, instead of throwing a projectile that could potentially severely damage my display, bounce off and hurt loved ones around me, I just furiously bang on the keyboard and mouse.

 

 

not srs

 

 

I stand up, take a deep breath and break coat hangers, I'm running out, my clothes are on the floor.

 

This was last night

Edited May 15, 2016 by Mr_Zombly

[Gaffa]

 

If I had a dollar for every goddamn time I've fallen off a ledge trying to climb down a goddamn ladder..

Lmao, this drives me nuts, especially when I'm trying to get through missions without losing any body armor. The interaction with ladders is completely retarded.

 

 

Yeah, this completely f***ed me over when attempting the Criminal Mastermind Challenge on Xbox 360 a while back.

 

Oh, and characters doing the proper animation when jumping off things... "no, I pressed X for you to jump to the other container, not get off your current one".

 

EDIT: For the above image: Yuk, dark chocolate digestives?

Edited May 15, 2016 by Gaffa

[FlacidJack]

 

 

I've literally just threw my controller against my tv stand. Prison break finale. Demolition lands the helicopter directly next to the cliff. I was the first there, press triangle and get hit with the propellers. I spawn, press triangle AGAIN when I am right next to the door and get mowed down.

 

Piece of f*cking sh*t. This game drives me f*cking mad sometimes. I was the bloody prison officer, 35 kills - no deaths and we fail because my character chose to have a jog around the chopper instead of getting inside it!??!?!

 

Perks of PC gaming, instead of throwing a projectile that could potentially severely damage my display, bounce off and hurt loved ones around me, I just furiously bang on the keyboard and mouse.

 

 

not srs

 

 

I stand up, take a deep breath and break coat hangers, I'm running out, my clothes are on the floor.

 

This was last night

try going six weeks without sex because after having a baby that's how long we men have to wait (one down five to go ) Maybe I'll try that hanger trick just to get some physical contact once she hits me for breaking all her hangers.

[DominusTaranis]

 

 

 

I've literally just threw my controller against my tv stand. Prison break finale. Demolition lands the helicopter directly next to the cliff. I was the first there, press triangle and get hit with the propellers. I spawn, press triangle AGAIN when I am right next to the door and get mowed down.

 

Piece of f*cking sh*t. This game drives me f*cking mad sometimes. I was the bloody prison officer, 35 kills - no deaths and we fail because my character chose to have a jog around the chopper instead of getting inside it!??!?!

 

Perks of PC gaming, instead of throwing a projectile that could potentially severely damage my display, bounce off and hurt loved ones around me, I just furiously bang on the keyboard and mouse.

 

 

not srs

 

 

I stand up, take a deep breath and break coat hangers, I'm running out, my clothes are on the floor.

 

This was last night

try going six weeks without sex because after having a baby that's how long we men have to wait (one down five to go ) Maybe I'll try that hanger trick just to get some physical contact once she hits me for breaking all her hangers.Have you considered meeting with Jane and her four sisters?

[Kangee]

 

 

 

 

I've literally just threw my controller against my tv stand. Prison break finale. Demolition lands the helicopter directly next to the cliff. I was the first there, press triangle and get hit with the propellers. I spawn, press triangle AGAIN when I am right next to the door and get mowed down.

 

Piece of f*cking sh*t. This game drives me f*cking mad sometimes. I was the bloody prison officer, 35 kills - no deaths and we fail because my character chose to have a jog around the chopper instead of getting inside it!??!?!

Perks of PC gaming, instead of throwing a projectile that could potentially severely damage my display, bounce off and hurt loved ones around me, I just furiously bang on the keyboard and mouse.

 

 

not srs

 

I stand up, take a deep breath and break coat hangers, I'm running out, my clothes are on the floor.

 

This was last night

try going six weeks without sex because after having a baby that's how long we men have to wait (one down five to go ) Maybe I'll try that hanger trick just to get some physical contact once she hits me for breaking all her hangers.Have you considered meeting with Jane and her four sisters?

 

Just remember always (if this is your first) baby comes first, After the 6 weeks are up, and you're in the middle of your first encounter and the baby starts screaming - baby comes first. Remember that and you'll do fine. And in the meantime, after giving your wife a hand with the baby, give yourself a helping hand.

[Cavot]

I'm not normally one to bitch, but Jesus f*cking christ, this takes the god damn cake.

 

So, me and two of my good buddies are in jets near Fort Zancudo in a public session. No one was near by, and we were mostly screwing around shooting at police helicopters and traffic on the road, when we see a jet from the city start heading our way. Now, this player was in an organization, and was coming straight at us. So, of course, all three of us fly straight toward them. Now, she fired at us with cannons right off the bat (we usually don't engage another jet until we know for sure it's hostile in its intentions), so, of course, I shot her down. Nothing wrong so far, just seems like your every day encounter.

 

We decide to fly into the city and make our way towards LSIA, and we just so happened to fly within homing rocket lock on range of her fellow organization members. What did they do? Fire at us of course. My two buddies jump out of their jets and fight them on the ground in a parking garage and the streets for a bit. I gave air support when needed, just in case they decided to get on a roof or corner one of my buddies. Only killed all 3 of them about two times each at this point, whike my frinds had swapped kills wit them quite a bit. Well, we decided we would go start a piracy prevention just to gain some cash after the other organization hit ghost organization and dug themselves into the parking garage with proxy mines everywhere.

 

This is where sh*t gets ridiculous. I invited my 2 friends to my yacht, which is just off the end of the runway by LSIA. Now, at this point, my friend, who we will call Logan, ends up returning from his VIP so I can start up mine to do piracy prevention. I decided to name my organization "Irish got wreck", just to provoke the other organization into attacking our boat so we had a challenge at least. Well, right before we even did anything, the person I shot down at the start of this post was extremely high in the sky with a hydra, waiting for us to try to get off the boat (their orginization already started executive search). Now of course, me being a VIP, I couldn't go passive. Yacht defenses were on, so she couldn't do anything.

 

I decided to move the boat to Paleto Bay and try to start it there. I, of course, waited to see if she would really fly all the way out there just to hover over our yacht and wait. Guess what, she did. So at this point, we are pretty tired and waiting and start our piracy prevention. As soon as she sees that we did, she immediately dive bombed and tried strafing my yacht. Okay, fair enough, so we do our usual thing and throw some homing missles at the jet and snipe it, and she does manage to kill both my friends once or twice, but not me. Mostly because we all kept taking the easy way out to avoid giving her kills. After a few minutes, her jet is finally damaged pretty bad, and with us being in Paleto, the helicopter pad at the police station allowed her to get a new jet. Well, she jumped out and tried to get into the new Hydra she called in...and my friend Logan got an amazing shot through the trees and bushes and nailed her right in the head mid take off in her hydra, which cause it to explode upon impact with the ground. Well, she doesn't have enough time to get a new one before the event ends, but she gets one anyway. So, again, after the event, we turn on our defenses, and she does the same exact sh*t where she just hovers above the yacht and waits.

 

After looking at the map, we noticed her two other organization members getting on their yacht, which was nearby, and then they traveled to Vespucci Beach and started a piracy prevention. Well, me, Logan, and my other friend thought it would be a good time for revenge. So, we traveled to Vespucci Beach and spawned right next to the LSIA runway. As soon as we get outside, the other organization is shooting at my yacht, while the Hydra stalking us in Paleto was coming our way. We all jumped in my Swift and called in our Hydras. The other organization activated Ghost Organization, so we did the same. After a few minutes of flying around, the jet came back on radar, so, we all went after it. I took her down, again, and we decided to do what she had done to us 10 minutes prior, and that's strafe the sh*t out of their yacht during piracy prevention with jets. This went on for about 5 minutes, and I feasibly got 5 kills on each of them, while my 2 friends got maybe 2 on each before crashing and spawning on the beach. So, after this I leave them alone. Then one of them begins to send me messages about how griefing is against the rules and how they reported me and my friends while stating "My reports actually work". I of course argued that claim, stating there's only an option to report griefing via the GTA report system and not Xbox Live. I then offered her a party invite to discuss things if she truly wishes to hear our reasoning, which she then responded with "its against protocol to do that." Bullsh*t, I know you're not an Xbox Ambassador based off of your sh*t grammar and poor handling of the issue. I then proceeded to ask what grounds and reasoning she had to issue a report that "actually works" regarding griefing against me and my friends, when her crew mate had just done the same thing to us less than 20 minutes prior.

 

Guess what she replied with? "STOP MESSAGING ME SIR, THANK YOU". So, you're going to completely blow off my question and even offered to peacefully discuss the issue via chat? I hadn't even sent you 3 messages, and you state that bullsh*t? Apparently fighting back using equal fire powe is considered griefing. The audacity of this bitch was off the charts.

 

This took me over an hour to type...Jesus f*ck.

 

TL/DR: Apparently using equal fire power against someone is griefing and warrants a report.

[Gridl0k]

try going six weeks without sex because after having a baby that's how long we men have to wait (one down five to go )

 

How long do women have to wait?

 

Ironic username.

[Arrows to Athens]

A few days have passed since this happened, but I thought it's worth to post it here.

 

So, I know from countless people arround here how bad the Rockstar Support is, but for the first time I tried it out and it really annoyed the hell out of me.

 

Long story short, there was an hacker on a PC session (nothing new until here). However he annoyed me, I told him not very friendly words and he took things very personal. Decided to f*ck him up so I recorded the whole thing with my phone, uploaded on YouTube and sent it for both Rockstar Support and GTA Online banhammer e-mails with all the info. In no time I receive a response and at first I was amazed how fast they answered me. Little did I knew that, when I opened my e-mail, it said they opened a support ticket doing a copy-paste of the e-mail I sent and the guy answered what screamed to be one of those generic answers, that pretty much said Banhammer e-mail wasn't working anymore so to fix this issue I should use the report option in game (for something that happened more than an hour previously).

 

So, I wasted my time doing their job by giving them all the info of a cheater, and they tell me basically "oh, sorry for the inconvenience of having somebody hacking and ruining your fun, but the e-mail you could use to report him is down so you have no way to prove what he did, and your best bet is to report him in-game - report that he can delete using his hacks". I mean... seriously? Are these guys working for free? Better yet, the ticket was locked right after, so if I want to gently tell them I can't report a person that I'm not on the same session since 2 hours ago, neither to send them the evidence, I have to write another ticket to get yet another generic reply out of their support book. Thanks for your precious help Rockstar.

 

Here's the link for the ticket they opened (including the link of my Youtube vid): http://support.rockstargames.com/hc/requests/6290296

Rockstar support? Yeah, that place is no good. Just a bunch of self-centered and arrogant douchebags. They aren't very helpful, rely on automated responses, copy and paste useless solutions, blame you for the game's issues, and ban you if say those individuals with badges have cheated stats, even if you provide proof. I'm no stat police nor do I care about cheated money, but they call you out on having cheated stats when they have cheated stats themselves! Those guys have no respect at all. Hell, they even prioritise license plate change requests over actual issues that people are experiencing.

 

They must be some third-party support sh*t. Horrible, horrible.

Edited May 15, 2016 by Fearx--

[Jager1112]

That piracy prevention suck they are all ready organised and no player is ganging up! This game just suck more and more! How do you turn the events off?

[555-We-Tip]

How many times can I fly through a checkpoint in an air race only for it not to count?

[Mach1bud]

That piracy prevention suck they are all ready organised and no player is ganging up! This game just suck more and more! How do you turn the events off?

 

Interaction menu

[OYamatai]

Was doing a car show, started doing criminal damage, killing no one, not disturbing anyone and they start to kick me. what about the f*cktards killing other people? why didn't they get kicked? I wasn't killing anyone. Worst car show ever.

[Hunter]

This has got to be one of the dirtiest, sleaziest homing launcher shots I've ever done:

 

 

I actually kind of wish I hadn't done it now. Well, not really, but you know what I mean. Not my favourite weapon.

[TKDSnovelist]

This has got to be one of the dirtiest, sleaziest homing launcher shots I've ever done:

 

 

I actually kind of wish I hadn't done it now. Well, not really, but you know what I mean. Not my favourite weapon.

 

Are you helisexual? Did you write this?

 

"I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I’m f*cking retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “Apache” and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can’t accept me you’re a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding."

[Hunter]

Are you helisexual? Did you write this?

 

"I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I’m f*cking retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “Apache” and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can’t accept me you’re a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding."

 

Contrary to popular belief, I didn't actually write that. That was just attributed to me by someone else.

 

But I'll take the title of helisexual anyway.