The Official B*tch & Moan Thread (Part 1)

[VanessaMagick]

Driving downtown on bike, get killed by dude

Respawn, unable to retrieve bike without confronting killer

Get him down to like no health, hit him a couple times afterward, he kills me mid barrel roll

 

Try to kill him again, end up killing his buddy I guess

his buddy keeps going after me and I kill him without any loss of health every time

Get on roof and gun down the dude that killed me first

quickly snipe the f*cker in the head killing him again

he goes passive and comes up to the roof

 

every damn time

end up shooting him in the f*cking throat and the chest with my heavy sniper and he runs off healthy and free while his buddy is still trying to kill me

kill his buddy, hop on my bike, drive by the dude that killed me first, hop in Hydra and kill him once more before he goes passive

get a message from his buddy calling me a wuss or something presumably because I got in a Jet even though I sat that f*cker down casually every time, on foot.

 

What a doucheclock.

[hyperar]

Driving downtown on bike, get killed by dude

Respawn, unable to retrieve bike without confronting killer

Get him down to like no health, hit him a couple times afterward, he kills me mid barrel roll

Try to kill him again, end up killing his buddy I guess

his buddy keeps going after me and I kill him without any loss of health every time

Get on roof and gun down the dude that killed me first

quickly snipe the f*cker in the head killing him again

he goes passive and comes up to the roof

every damn time

end up shooting him in the f*cking throat and the chest with my heavy sniper and he runs off healthy and free while his buddy is still trying to kill me

kill his buddy, hop on my bike, drive by the dude that killed me first, hop in Hydra and kill him once more before he goes passive

get a message from his buddy calling me a wuss or something presumably because I got in a Jet even though I sat that f*cker down casually every time, on foot.

Ever heard of rolling?

[hugh750]

 

I only used my heavy pistol throughout a survival and someone called me a noob.

 

Was in a deathmatch against two low levels, 1vs2 a while ago. I used only my Pistol .50 through the whole match and lost 13-15. Decent way to keep it fair, I think.

 

i'll sometimes use one of my other weapons but i'll usually use my combat mg in survival mode.

[zecanelao]

Every single Fleeca job invite I accept the lobby is full... It doesn't matter how fast I accept the invite. If that wasn't enough, most of the time it changes my aim type and send me back to another session, even if It's invite only. Then I have to go back to singleplayer to change my aim settings.

[GIRR]

 

I can hope atleast that < and > starts working in chat so I can use :< as a sadface instead of or if >: ( for angryface.

I was drinking ice tea when I read this

I laughed so hard, ice tea come out of my nose

[LightningLord]

Every single Fleeca job invite I accept the lobby is full... It doesn't matter how fast I accept the invite. If that wasn't enough, most of the time it changes my aim type and send me back to another session, even if It's invite only. Then I have to go back to singleplayer to change my aim settings.

This always happens to me with The Pacific Standard Job. I can never do the f*cking heist because of the things you mentioned in your post.

[RussianCommie]

Every single Fleeca job invite I accept the lobby is full... It doesn't matter how fast I accept the invite. If that wasn't enough, most of the time it changes my aim type and send me back to another session, even if It's invite only. Then I have to go back to singleplayer to change my aim settings.

 

You don't have to go back into SP to change your aim settings. In that kind of scenario, where it puts you back into an Online lobby, you can go into the Creator and when it loads in, press start so it brings up the pause menu, Go to Settings, and there should be the option for you to change your aim settings to whatever it was before. After changing your aim settings, back out of the Settings screen, navigate the few clicks over to Online and choose your desired session, whether public or Invite Only. There's no need to go back into SP at all to change your aim settings.

[LightningLord]

To this day, I still wonder how I get bounties from dead people.

 

[CrysisAverted]

Drive from downtown all the way to the f*cking lighthouse for a freeroam event

take gunner seat on Valk to take down merryweather

Pilot f*cking leaves mid battle ending the f*cking event

die because lol my pilot left

f*cking respawn and start getting attacked by a reverse super car

Edited October 2, 2015 by CrysisAverted

[VanessaMagick]

To this day, I still wonder how I get bounties from dead people.

 

 

It's simple.

 

Guy A owns a bike.

Guy B steals said bike.

You kill Guy B and steal the bike a second time.

Guy A uses Lifeinvader's obvious clause of selling everybody's data to find you, believing you are Guy B. Unknowing that the guy who originally stole his bike is now dead and You stole it second, he calls Lester and puts a bounty on you.

[CrysisAverted]

Dude in Buzzard locks on and blows up my ride, doesn't pay

Me in Hydra locks on and blows up a T20 and Osiris, there goes $50k

[VanessaMagick]

For whatever reason I thought it'd be amusing to set my Spawn Location to 'Random'.

 

And here I am, barely a day later, and it's gone and spawned me inside the fence at Fort Zancudo. 4-star wanted level and all. F*cking cosmic.

[TCA]

Just spawned in and joined hunt the beast, call for my bike.....

 

I'm alone.

 

Spawn back online in a full room run over to Richards majestic, garage cut scene....

 

Unknown network error.

 

-_-;

 

Back to SP rejoin online. In the clouds forever....

 

Timed out joining GTA Online.

Please return to Grand Theft Auto V.

 

f*ck you.

Edited October 2, 2015 by TCA

[Captain Sensib1e]

Srsly R*, whats with all this ammo disappearing and reappearing BS. Just got rekt w/o my trusty Combat MG. Ah yeah us OG peasants, who cares

[Khaisz]

Something that had been bugging me for awhile now is how long the weapon wheel stays up after using the 1-9 to choose a weapon instead of TAB.

and what annoys me even more about that is that the weapon wheel comes up at all when I use 1-9.

If I wanted the weapon wheel to open with 1-9 I would just use TAB instead. <.<

[Kushology]

My bitch: why do people think police outfits with pig masks is cool and funny? It's not!

 

It's funny sometimes..

[drahnier]

For whatever reason I thought it'd be amusing to set my Spawn Location to 'Random'.

 

And here I am, barely a day later, and it's gone and spawned me inside the fence at Fort Zancudo. 4-star wanted level and all. F*cking cosmic.

It's worse when it spawns you on the side of mount chiliad, because you have to spend quite a while tumbling down the mountain and respawning on top of it before you can reach civilization. I'm pretty sure that spawn point is a trolling.

Edited October 2, 2015 by drahnier

[CrysisAverted]

LSIA is a spooky twilight zone area where planes lost in the Bermuda Triangle suddenly appear right on you

[The_B1u3_Jay]

 

Seriously Microsoft? 2 Hours of waiting here bored outta my mind for you to get your thumbs out of your asses and do somthing about the outage, or is it that you just dont care about your product users?

this morning i was doing the prison break heist with a few randoms, we break rashkovsky out of prison and we are flying away when suddenly i lose connection with xbox live (xbox 360) when that happened i heard a scream of a player falling out of the plane.

when i do a restart of my console i noticed that the host i was doing the heist with sent me a message asking me why i left, i messaged him back telling him what happened.

 

What sucks the most for me is that i can't play my free with gold games on XB1 without internet OR gold.

[LordRaijin]

 

Why are all modders assholes.

Power corrupts

 

My bitch: why do people think police outfits with pig masks is cool and funny? It's not!

 

 

You forget that kids play this game too, unfortunately. Kids find stupid things to be funny.

[TexasRocks]

Pacific Standard, Signal. I'm the only one with a mic, but that's ok, the others heard me and responded to my suggestions. I go get the helicopter, meet them at the island, everything goes perfectly. The guy that got Avi met me at beach, they get in, we're off. We get all the way to where we drop Avi off, but we haven't lost the cops, so of course I gotta fly around a bit. This asshat jumps out the f*ckin helicopter! Did he not know Avi would follow him? Did he think Avi had a parachute? wish I knew how to post a facepalm pic.

Edited October 2, 2015 by TexasRocks

[TCA]

LSIA is a spooky twilight zone area where planes lost in the Bermuda Triangle suddenly appear right on you

You have the worst luck in this game.

[Rocket Skates]

Pacific Standard, Signal. I'm the only one with a mic, but that's ok, the others heard me and responded to my suggestions. I go get the helicopter, meet them at the island, everything goes perfectly. The guy that got Avi met me at beach, they get in, we're off. We get all the way to where we drop Avi off, but we haven't lost the cops, so of course I gotta fly around a bit. This asshat jumps out the f*ckin helicopter! Did he not know Avi would follow him? Did he think Avi had a parachute? wish I knew how to post a facepalm pic.

Here you go. I feel your pain.

[TexasRocks]

 

Pacific Standard, Signal. I'm the only one with a mic, but that's ok, the others heard me and responded to my suggestions. I go get the helicopter, meet them at the island, everything goes perfectly. The guy that got Avi met me at beach, they get in, we're off. We get all the way to where we drop Avi off, but we haven't lost the cops, so of course I gotta fly around a bit. This asshat jumps out the f*ckin helicopter! Did he not know Avi would follow him? Did he think Avi had a parachute? wish I knew how to post a facepalm pic.

Here you go. I feel your pain.

Lol. Thank you.

[hugh750]

i just wish r* would go back to using standard servers like they used with gta 4 and get rid of the cloud servers, so we wouldn't get "unknown network connection" error or "session full" message as soon as you try to join a heist or mission.

[arnorjons]

Hi guys

 

Just wanted to share this with you, because many of us have been facing this problem for months. I have spent endless hours and effort to isolate the problem with my online account, and here's the whole story, and how Rockstar are dealing with the problem.... I submitted a "Ticket" and this is the updates from me, and then from them....

 

• I have been playing my GTA Online for months, and I haven't changed anything regarding my settings in my PS4, the router, my NAT settings are at type 2 which is supposed to be okay. All of a sudden three days ago Everyone left the session at the same time when I was playing, and I haven't been able to join a session since then except when I can join, I am alone in the session, and I can't join my friends, or invite them to my session...
  
  I wasn't doing anything wrong in the game, I was hovering in a fighter jet from the Army base, got shot down, and then this happened about 5 minutes later.
  
  I live in Dubai, and my first thought was that since the game is banned in the UAE that the goverment here blocked the ports the game uses, but I think that's highly unlikely since I haven't found ANYTHING regarding this matter in any forums from anyone in Dubai in the last days.
  
  I hope you guys can tell me what happened, because I have tried everything... I checked all my internet hardware, followed every instruction in the article from RS on their support site, and checked the NAT settings on my PS 4. Nothing works..
  Since no settings have ever been changed in my hardware I am fresh out of ideas what happened to my game.. Can anyone give me answers...? Please....

  Please contact me on phone if possible: +971-052-784-9214, or this e-mail: [email protected]

• ArnorJons86 Yesterday at 22:30

  Can you attent to this matter ASAP please? I have tried EVERYTHING! Nothing works, not even a Smart DNS, or a VPN connection!

• ArnorJons86 Yesterday at 22:31

  This problem is on your end FOR SURE!

• ArnorJons86 Today at 00:00

  I took my computer to a friends house which owns the game and it works fine for him at his house. Connected my computer there, exactly the same internet connection, my computer, my game. I still showed up ALONE in every session. Connected his computer again. He showed up in full sessions every time. What is wrong with my account guys?? I have established that the problem is NOT my hardware regarding the internet connection. What is it??

• ArnorJons86 Today at 00:16

  My final measure is making a new PSN account, another user on my PS4. If this does not happen on that account, I would very much appreciate it if you guys fix my account.

• ArnorJons86 Today at 00:31

  I was able to play online in a full session on another account in my PS4 on my internet connection. The problem lies with my PSN account apparently. Can you fix this for me??

• ArnorJons86 Today at 00:37

  I have isolated the problem for you guys. There is no other option here, but that the problem lies with my account. It is not my connection, it is not my computer, it is not the game itself. It is my PSN account. there's no other option.

• ArnorJons86 Today at 11:41

  Isn't anyone going to help me????

• Zendesk Today at 12:13

  Hi ArnorJons86,

  You are receiving this automated email because you recently submitted a request to Rockstar Support that appears to be related to GTA Online connectivity or network issues. This type of auto-reply is sent for your convenience, as it may resolve your question or problem more quickly. If you believe you are receiving this message incorrectly, please reply to this email or update your ticket and we will be happy to assist further on an individual level.

  First, check our GTA Online server status page to see if there are any known issues, or if services are down for scheduled maintenance:
  https://support.rockstargames.com/hc/en-us/articles/200426246

  If there are no issues listed, try rebooting your console and waiting a few minutes before trying again. Sometimes temporary network issues will clear up on their own just by waiting a bit.

  If no warnings are on that our server status page, and you are still unable to connect for a long period of time, try connecting your console directly to your modem -- instead of the router – using a wired Ethernet cable, and attempt to connect to GTA Online. This will help determine if your router is the issue. If you are able to connect this way, you will need to re-configure your router settings to allow your console to connect to the internet. A website that can help you configure your router is www.portforward.com. Go to the site, choose your router model, and then and follow the steps for the game you are playing to configure your ports and improve your connectivity.

  If you are using a combination modem/router unit, where the router and modem functions are the same box, please consult the hardware directions and put the unit in "bridge mode." This can improve game connectivity for these types of combo units.

  If you connect directly to the modem (instead of the router) and still have problems with connectivity, then the problem may be related to your ISP connection or your console network settings.

  For more GTA Online connection troubleshooting steps, please check out: https://support.rockstargames.com/hc/en-us/articles/200525767-GTA-Online-Connection-Troubleshooting

  If you are generally able to play GTA Online but occasionally receive error messages such as “Timed out,” “Unknown network error” or “There has been an error joining,” please note that we are aware that these can occur on rare occasions. Although these errors can have a variety of causes—from console/router settings, to ISP problems, to Rockstar service maintenance, rest assured that we are always working to improve GTA Online stability. Please note that our technical support representatives may not have further information about network conditions or outages.

  Thanks for your patience, and we hope to see you in GTA Online.

  Kind regards,

  Rockstar Support

• ArnorJons86 Today at 12:25

  Hi guys. Please read the updates in my Ticket. I have tried all these things, and I took my console to a friends house who can play the online game without any problems, connected my console and always showed up alone. Then to completely assure myself that nothing was wrong with my console, I connected to my friends PSN account in my console, and wallah, Showed up in the lobbied full of people. The same console, the same GTA game, the same internet connection. Did the same procedure at my own home. Connected to his PSN account in my home, on MY internet connection, and everything was fine. Went back into my own PSN account and everything was broken again.. Showed up alone! I hot spotted my 4G phone to try another connection in my home. And the same things happened as before. I have isolated the problem COMPLETELY! Give me a solution, because this problem is on your end! And by the way, all my other games work fine online on my PSN account. It's ONLY GTA that I'm facing problems with!

[hugh750]

Srsly R*, whats with all this ammo disappearing and reappearing BS. Just got rekt w/o my trusty Combat MG. Ah yeah us OG peasants, who cares

i've noticed that too, sometimes i would lose about half of my ammo after a survival mode or a 1 vs 1 deathmatch, i usually have about 2000 - 3000 bullets for my combat mg, but sometimes i find myself suddenly with 400 bullets and a trip to the gunshop.

[GIRR]

This always happens to me with The Pacific Standard Job. I can never do the f*cking heist because of the things you mentioned in your post.

Your picture is too damn adorable.

 

There. That's my B&M for the minute

[Jehannum]

Kill List

 

I'm in the Buzzard as co-pilot / rocket man.

 

We kill all the baddies; display shows all 44/44 enemies have been zapped. No more red blips.

 

Countdown timer still going down. Seems odd. Why doesn't it just finish?

 

I try to jump out of the heli but the game won't let me. Pilot flies around a bit.

Four minutes later, countdown reaches zero.

 

"Event Failed"

 

Why Rockstar, Why?

[Viciadogames]

I hate when you have to steal a car and you just can't shoot the guy inside it...