The Official B*tch & Moan Thread (Part 1)

[Strange Town]

One of those signs where you know that if you stay in the session you're going to have a bad time.

 

 

That was just a horrible pilot. Nothing to worry about.

[BMWSauberF1.08]

 

I want to punch a wall right now. Rockstar...you're a multibilion dollar game developer with a billion dollar game...and you STILL can't provide serves that don't kick me out of a session every five seconds.

Wasted literally about 75 minutes tonight just trying to join heist setups - every one freezes at join, host drops, lobby never fills, players drop out before start (due to excessive lobby fill wait time), players leave at beginning of heist or partway through, minutes hanging in the clouds until i rejoin a session, etc etc, the usual sh*t. Had to play some solo Contact missions, just to make a little bit of quick easy money, so the night was not a total loss.

 

I just don't know what to say anymore ... I've run out of obscenities, negative hyperbole, witty insults about Rockstar servers. I'm just plain out of words... How can this sh*t go on ????

 

 

And I can't still use my Hydra due to the fact that every goddamn time I enter the city bounds with it(or the Lazer)I get a connection error

[Mottershead]

I lost all my weapons last night. I left GTAO and they all returned, thankfully, except for the bat and golf club. PS4. WTF R*

[Nick1020]

I find it pretty interesting when people treat gta like CoD and complain about auto aim. If only I didn't suck on it on console.

[Dellers]

I was just playing Prison Break with 3 randoms. Going fine until the last part of the prison, me as the guard. Then one enemy decides to camp outside one of the last building, so I have to get to him. Suddenly I'm able to make him move towards us, and I shoot him the second he's in sight. Then the game decides to spawn the last guys around me. All within at most 10 meters, around 5 guys, from all directions. Boom, dead in a microsecond. How can you make a spawning system that makes enemies spawn within a few meters right in front of your eyes? It's really dumb, but I'm just glad this wasn't during the criminal mastermind challenge. Even when it's not this bad, this is still the game I've seen with the worst spawning system. Pacific Standard is a good example of ridiculous spawns, where cops spawn right in front of you all the time. At least make them spawn around a corner or something.

Edited June 4, 2015 by Dellers

[Slonitram]

This image is pretty much races in a nutshell for me.

Edited June 4, 2015 by TheSadisticOwl

[Shadowfennekin]

Okay. Insurgents vs RPGs is actually fun...... when the other team isn't hiding like pussies because they no longer have a RPG

 

 

I got bored earlier and decided to play some LTS. Got RPGs vs Bombers, started before I could even leave. Decided to go for it despite being on the short team like ALWAYS and everyone but me is a low level while the other team is a whole lot of high levels. Team balancing my f*cking ass -_-

 

I raced right up that ramp and threw a sticky right at the center of the platform and killed 7/8. The last guy was a level 5 and I wondered how he survived as he was in that explosion radius. All of a sudden I hear a minigun and think "WTF? There isn't one of those up there." Throw a few more stickies and he still survives. All of a sudden..... he teleports down and that's when I see.......... a stripper from the strip club. *leaves*

[LordRaijin]

One of those signs where you know that if you stay in the session you're going to have a bad time.

 

 

 

LOL! That bad pilot drove that player to enter passive mode.

[Slonitram]

>Driving Kuruma

 

>Game sh*ts itself and everyone leaves

 

>Joins new session

 

>Kuruma is impounded

[AceThaCreator]

My first bitch and moan post..Why the hell do I get kicked from jobs so f*cking much?

I'm not a troll, i actually do the mission clean and yet people see lvl 338 and I get kicked!

 

Is it because they don't want me breezing through the mission?they think I'm going to troll them?

Rank discrimination is a very real thing in this game, i get this sh*t all the time with my main character(473), it makes the game almost unplayable. F*ck randoms, no seriously f*ck em, only people i f*cks with in GTAonline are friends and crew thats it.

People on these forums endlessly squabbling about which fictional in-game car is a Toyota / Mitsubishi / Pagani / Ferrari / etc.

 

AAAAAAAAARGGGHHH

This ish annoys me too, like its a mash up replica of multiple cars not just one.

[Chloroform]

I want to punch a wall right now. Rockstar...you're a multibilion dollar game developer with a billion dollar game...and you STILL can't provide serves that don't kick me out of a session every five seconds.

Don't forget about that huge profit off of shark cards, oh wait they fund our updates.

[Slonitram]

>26 wins and 62 losses

 

I clearly was not made for races.

[Shadowfennekin]

Why the f*ck..... is there ALWAYS a Merryweather guy right at the heli spawn at the docks? He is always there after I deliver a car to Simeon and go pick up my Savage to go bounty hunting in Blaine County. I can't even get anywhere near that guy without him screaming "f*ck you!" and start shooting me. I have to jump into the water until his dot vanishes then climb back up and get in. It's even worse when I'm close to that area when a Smuggler spawns, time is precious for those.

[similarly]

I was in a paint shop, upgrading a car, when, for no apparent reason, the car exploded and it said I committed suicide. I have NO idea what happened. Taking too long to choose the color?

[Slonitram]

I wish I could get a good Siege Mentality match without the following things:

 

*Lag

 

*Over team limit

 

*Lag

 

*Over team limit

 

*LAG

 

*OVER TEAM LIMIT

 

(Seriously, the fact that the host can't kick players after the job's been launched is beyond stupid)

Edited June 5, 2015 by TheSadisticOwl

[Shadowfennekin]

Join Random Heist

Get kicked while up in the clouds

Stuck there

Dashboard time

 

 

 

And after a fun deathmatch we're all stuck on the score screen. I wait two minutes then I see people slowly leaving so I figured they were dashboarding. I decided to do that to as I'd probably get back to Online faster that way. Boy was I wrong "Failed to host session", had to join Invite only to be able to play

[AsunaIsBae]

People calling me Chinese because my Xbox name has "Asuna" in it...

 

*Joins a random heist*

 

Guy 1 - "Yo why isn't this chick talking? Is she Chinese or Japanese?"

 

Guy 2 - "She's probably stupid, Japanese chick doesn't know how to use a mic."

 

*Message one guy* "It's 2am, my parents are sleeping I don't wanna use a mic and I know how to do a heist I'm level 199."

 

Guy 1 - "Chick just messaged me she can't talk, anyways we want people who have mics."

 

*puts on my headset*

 

Me - "Hi thanks for calling me stupid. I'm American btw"

 

Guy 2 - "OMG your're a girl! *heavy breathing* I'm sorry I'm sorry."

 

Guy 1 - "No it's okay you don't need a mic girl, how are you btw."

 

Me - "Sorry I'm Japanese I'm really stupid at understanding English so I wouldn't be much help to you."

 

* I leave*

 

 

*Gets 2 friend requests - Deletes them*

 

 

Is no one seriously familiar with Sword Art Online?? Why does my name has to be something lame like everyone elses - "Trickshotter420noscopeyourbooty"

 

 

 

[Nick1020]

I try not to rage quit but Wtf with this lag? Even worse in those ufc melee matches.

[Shaundi.]

Ugh, stupid little kids calling GTA cars by real world car names...you're all f*cking MORONS!

 

The stupidity is rampant and virally infectious...

 

LBC

Lol, so.. grown adults who appreciate fine vehicles are little kids and morons now?

 

Get real.

[CrysisAverted]

how in the f*ck is pvp in freeroam smoother than a dedicated lobby

[Slonitram]

People calling me Chinese because my Xbox name has "Asuna" in it...

 

*Joins a random heist*

 

Guy 1 - "Yo why isn't this chick talking? Is she Chinese or Japanese?"

 

Guy 2 - "She's probably stupid, Japanese chick doesn't know how to use a mic."

 

*Message one guy* "It's 2am, my parents are sleeping I don't wanna use a mic and I know how to do a heist I'm level 199."

 

Guy 1 - "Chick just messaged me she can't talk, anyways we want people who have mics."

 

*puts on my headset*

 

Me - "Hi thanks for calling me stupid. I'm American btw"

 

Guy 2 - "OMG your're a girl! *heavy breathing* I'm sorry I'm sorry."

 

Guy 1 - "No it's okay you don't need a mic girl, how are you btw."

 

Me - "Sorry I'm Japanese I'm really stupid at understanding English so I wouldn't be much help to you."

 

* I leave*

 

 

*Gets 2 friend requests - Deletes them*

 

 

Is no one seriously familiar with Sword Art Online?? Why does my name has to be something lame like everyone elses - "Trickshotter420noscopeyourbooty"

 

 

 

That reminds me of this one time I was playing Siege Mentality with some guys.

 

Eventually, a brazilian guy came out of nowhere and started speaking both English and Portuguese on the mics.

 

And then, in Portuguese, he mocks me on the mic for my name in Portuguese, probably expecting me to not understand him, "Aí, o coruja sádica, então se gosta de machucar gente, né? (Translated: Hey, sadistic owl, so you like hurting people, right?)

 

Thing is, I know Portuguese. And I respond, "Pois é. Pode me passa teu endereço pra eu pode vir ai e te manda umas chicotadas?" (Translated: Yep. Can you give me your address so I come into your house and whip you?)

 

And then he was like, "EITA PORRA, É BR, CARALHO, FOI MAL MANO!" (Translated: HOLY sh*t, IT'S A BRAZILIAN, f*ck, SORRY MAN!"

 

Me, "Tá tchau." (Translated: Okay, bye.)

 

I was laughing so damn hard while changing sessions.

 

Got a friend request. Deleted it without thinking twice.

[triplem]

I was in a paint shop, upgrading a car, when, for no apparent reason, the car exploded and it said I committed suicide. I have NO idea what happened. Taking too long to choose the color?

 

No, it's a hacker/coder/modder whatever they're called today. They do something and a bunch of explosions chase after each player. I was in a sports car driving as fast as I could when it started to explode behind me, and I could see it was chasing me, but I was out-running it. Then the road came to a end and I jumped the sewer/drain area thing towards the LSC on the far right of the screen, hit a wall, and it caught up with me. BOOM! But it was fun speeding away from that thing. Felt like being part of an action movie trying to speed out of harms way.

[FourFingersOfFun]

Okay seriously how in the literal f*ck does an armoured kuruma blow up after catching 3 feet of air and landing perfectly on the grass? Literally 10 seconds away from the boat on pac standard for the CM challenge and that bullsh*t happened.

 

However, never in my life have I ever quit a game so fast when I saw my car explode lmao. Luckily we didn't have to restart the whole challenge.

[Khaisz]

 

People calling me Chinese because my Xbox name has "Asuna" in it...

 

*Joins a random heist*

 

Guy 1 - "Yo why isn't this chick talking? Is she Chinese or Japanese?"

 

Guy 2 - "She's probably stupid, Japanese chick doesn't know how to use a mic."

 

*Message one guy* "It's 2am, my parents are sleeping I don't wanna use a mic and I know how to do a heist I'm level 199."

 

Guy 1 - "Chick just messaged me she can't talk, anyways we want people who have mics."

 

*puts on my headset*

 

Me - "Hi thanks for calling me stupid. I'm American btw"

 

Guy 2 - "OMG your're a girl! *heavy breathing* I'm sorry I'm sorry."

 

Guy 1 - "No it's okay you don't need a mic girl, how are you btw."

 

Me - "Sorry I'm Japanese I'm really stupid at understanding English so I wouldn't be much help to you."

 

* I leave*

 

 

*Gets 2 friend requests - Deletes them*

 

 

Is no one seriously familiar with Sword Art Online?? Why does my name has to be something lame like everyone elses - "Trickshotter420noscopeyourbooty"

 

 

 

That reminds me of this one time I was playing Siege Mentality with some guys.

 

Eventually, a brazilian guy came out of nowhere and started speaking both English and Portuguese on the mics.

 

And then, in Portuguese, he mocks me on the mic for my name in Portuguese, probably expecting me to not understand him, "Aí, o coruja sádica, então se gosta de machucar gente, né? (Translated: Hey, sadistic owl, so you like hurting people, right?)

 

Thing is, I know Portuguese. And I respond, "Pois é. Pode me passa teu endereço pra eu pode vir ai e te manda umas chicotadas?" (Translated: Yep. Can you give me your address so I come into your house and whip you?)

 

And then he was like, "EITA PORRA, É BR, CARALHO, FOI MAL MANO!" (Translated: HOLY sh*t, IT'S A BRAZILIAN, f*ck, SORRY MAN!"

 

Me, "Tá tchau." (Translated: Okay, bye.)

 

I was laughing so damn hard while changing sessions.

 

Got a friend request. Deleted it without thinking twice.

 

You should have befriended him, Nothing more fun then having a Troll/Griefer/A**hole send you a friend request, It just means whatever you did made them respect you.

_{or well that's atleast what I think the reason they send one is.}

I made a post earlier about a guy like this in this thread, _{(short version)} Trash talked me trying to get a respons he "wanted" but I responded the wrong way for him to get his satsifaction.

Ended up he kinda giving up his trash talking and hiding in a LSC and exiting it saying he would come kill me. Ends up me killing him a few times, he goes completely quiet. Then he sends me a friend request a few hours later. I figured why not, Let's add him. and he has yet not done or said anything against me.

[CrysisAverted]

Try getting online, end up in empty lobby decide f*ck it, if I'm playing alone I might as well play singleplayer.

Go to singleplayer, want to buy Coquette and mod it up, can't find it on phone

Drive out of Michael's house and first car I see is coquette

Want to buy stinger gt

its not available in singleplayer

why the f*ck not!?

[BMWSauberF1.08]

going to kill some players with a jet

shoot the explosive cannon near a player but doesn't die

player leaves the session

going to find another player to kill

same goes for this one(shooting him a half meter away from him doesn't kill him)

every one lags out for no reason

 

why the f*ck did rockstar made it that you have to aim the cannon directly on the player but you can kill npc by shooting them even two meters away from them?

[Procopius]

F*cking cop spawns and their general behavior in this game. Enough threads and posts have been made about this so I'll keep this short and sweet.

 

What I wouldn't give for an honest challenge that involves actual difficulty. But not this cheap-ass lazy sh*t where cops spawn out of thin air, magically know precisely where you are unless you're hiding in plain sight in a bush three meters from where they are, and magically forget about all your crimes when you go below ground or into your apartment when they're waiting at the entrance. That's just lame.

 

Rant over. Back to grinding missions.

Edited June 5, 2015 by Procopius

[LightningLord]

 

 

The f*ck is this!? So many Suranos in one place! :I

Edited June 5, 2015 by LightningLord

[PhillBellic]

 

 

 

 

The f*ck is this!? So many Suranos in one place! :I

The traffic bug is back?

[LightningLord]

 

 

 

 

 

The f*ck is this!? So many Suranos in one place! :I

The traffic bug is back?

 

Apparently. I thought this was fixed at some point. Wasn't it?