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Finn 7 five 11

Disabilities and diseases - Do you have one?

Recommended Posts

Fozzie

Ankylosing Spondyllitis. I inject myself in the thigh or stomach every 2 weeks with Humira, take Anti-inflammatory meds for it and have a Health Canada weed card for the pain. Only things that keep me walking and working or else I'd probably be in a wheelchair by now.

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Karami

Anxiety and Depression

 

    These two are the prime barriers as to why I don’t like going out, why I’d rather not interact with others, and why I barely make any eye contact whatsoever. I can’t help but feel like in the back of my head, I’m either taken as a joke, a laughing stock, criticized, ridiculed, or just a ghost to people! It sucks, let alone making friends. Now it’s getting to the point where I’m just gonna become a mute (or keep my words to a minimum), and be all ears. It’s damn near a never-ending battle everyday.

 

    Anxiety and depression has pushed me into becoming more of a hermit than ever. Whenever I’m forced to go out with family, I listen to music to silence the world around me. No matter where I go (with or without family/music), my anxiety puts my gelotophobia at an all-time high. I tend to have that feeling that people judge me about my looks in a negative way. Hell, that’s what I hear most of the time. The most common response I receive before or after passing me by is “ugly”. It hurts like a bullet drilling through the heart. They make me feel like a f*cking walking disease. Hearing this most often really saddens me deeply that I may never know what love feels like, but at the same time, it makes me very isolated and distant to people than usual. It’s even 10x worse seeing and realizing how cold the world treats people (& myself) solely on looks. Basically, the halo effect. Thanks to anxiety and depression, I have low self-esteem, I dislike taking pictures or being involved in it, and the same applies to recording. Thanks to anxiety and depression, I tend to hide from the world mostly being indoors, bury my face in with my phone or book in public, or wearing a face mask (like a fashion face mask or those doctor face masks...sometimes). It’s silly, I know.

 

    Anxiety has choked my social skills down to the bottom of the barrel to where I’m back to being silent as a ninja. It even sucks having to feel that my own presence shifts the vibe in a negative way around others. I even realized how backstabbing some people can be and what’s said the second I leave their space besides laughing out loud. Having anxiety even made me analyze social situations waaayy too much than what it needs to be such as their actions, body language, the way they talk to me and facial expressions.

 

    The best thing I can do to keep sane is to stay at home and nourish into my craft. That’s pretty much my healer and that’s where my happiness shines bright. It scares me battling through these problems as if it feels like it’s never temporary...

Edited by Karami

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