Disabilities and diseases - Do you have one?

[Fozzie 13,091]

Ankylosing Spondyllitis. I inject myself in the thigh or stomach every 2 weeks with Humira, take Anti-inflammatory meds for it and have a Health Canada weed card for the pain. Only things that keep me walking and working or else I'd probably be in a wheelchair by now.

[Karami 2,053]

Anxiety and Depression

 

    These two are the prime barriers as to why I don’t like going out, why I’d rather not interact with others, and why I barely make any eye contact whatsoever. I can’t help but feel like in the back of my head, I’m either taken as a joke, a laughing stock, criticized, ridiculed, or just a ghost to people! It sucks, let alone making friends. Now it’s getting to the point where I’m just gonna become a mute (or keep my words to a minimum), and be all ears. It’s damn near a never-ending battle everyday.

 

    Anxiety and depression has pushed me into becoming more of a hermit than ever. Whenever I’m forced to go out with family, I listen to music to silence the world around me. No matter where I go (with or without family/music), my anxiety puts my gelotophobia at an all-time high. I tend to have that feeling that people judge me about my looks in a negative way. Hell, that’s what I hear most of the time. The most common response I receive before or after passing me by is “ugly”. It hurts like a bullet drilling through the heart. They make me feel like a f*cking walking disease. Hearing this most often really saddens me deeply that I may never know what love feels like, but at the same time, it makes me very isolated and distant to people than usual. It’s even 10x worse seeing and realizing how cold the world treats people (& myself) solely on looks. Basically, the halo effect. Thanks to anxiety and depression, I have low self-esteem, I dislike taking pictures or being involved in it, and the same applies to recording. Thanks to anxiety and depression, I tend to hide from the world mostly being indoors, bury my face in with my phone or book in public, or wearing a face mask (like a fashion face mask or those doctor face masks...sometimes). It’s silly, I know.

 

    Anxiety has choked my social skills down to the bottom of the barrel to where I’m back to being silent as a ninja. It even sucks having to feel that my own presence shifts the vibe in a negative way around others. I even realized how backstabbing some people can be and what’s said the second I leave their space besides laughing out loud. Having anxiety even made me analyze social situations waaayy too much than what it needs to be such as their actions, body language, the way they talk to me and facial expressions.

 

    The best thing I can do to keep sane is to stay at home and nourish into my craft. That’s pretty much my healer and that’s where my happiness shines bright. It scares me battling through these problems as if it feels like it’s never temporary...

Edited September 8, 2018 by Karami

[TheerT 10]

Diagnosed:

- Astigmatism. I have to wear glasses all the time, except for sleeping.

- Sinus problems. During late autumn and winter, I tend to have quite frequent aches above my eyes, below them or around my nose.

 

From not diagnosed stuff, I think I may suffer from either health anxiety or depression. Or both.

[Virtual-Antics 706]

I was diagnosed with a rare condition around my mid teens. Most people would've thought I was a 'late bloomer' but it was (and still is) much more complicated than that. At least, psychologically. Luckily I was diagnosed at a good time, but there are those who've not been diagnosed until their twenties which I can't imagine. I wouldn't like to be off treatment because it can eff up your bones. That doesn't mean treatment is better (anxiety, depression etc) but you notice the difference.

 

The fun part is that there's not a definitive set of symptoms. It varies between those who are diagnosed. Plus, there isn't a whole lot of information which makes you feel like a lab rat. On the plus side, it helps to have a weak sense of smell.

[The Mascara Snake 1,338]

Yep... I suffer from a broken heart💔😔

[FearThoseWhoFearHim 891]

On 2/13/2019 at 7:10 PM, The Mascara Snake said:

Yep... I suffer from a broken heart💔😔

I mean, that's an obsession, there is a lot of millions of people you can choose, so open your mind.

[Flash525 313]

Quite a few posts here, I've only just caught up on the discussion. Those of you that have spoken up, I don't know if proud is the right word, but you should feel a sense of … achievement for sharing? I can't speak for any of these conditions on a personal level either, though I'm (currently) undergoing training for the Samaritans, and as a mentor for volunteer youth work, and I've learned a lot over the course of my training. I suppose the easier (though not easy) conditions to get ahead of are Anxiety and Depression, cause they can be cured, whereas something like Asperger syndrome cannot.

 

I can appreciate too that some people, many in fact will find it hard to feel their self worth, but I'd encourage everyone to acknowledge that, despite what they may think, you're not worthless. It may just be that you haven't found your calling yet. 😊 It probably goes without saying too, but (to those of you with anxiety), if you know what brings about that anxiety and what causes it, try to get on top of it. I'm by no means a medical professional, but self determination and acceptance go a long way to feeling more fulfilled. Music is also magic to anyone feeling down. Get on Spotify (you don't need to pay) and find some upbeat tunes.

 

If you want a little more than that, then endorphins, and I cannot stress that enough. It may seem counterproductive, cause when you're feeling low all you'll want to do is curl up in a ball and be left alone, but if you can become active - or more active, you'll get that feel good factor. I'm not talking about training for the Olympics either, at least not unless you really want too, but a 5k run, or a 10-15mile cycle ride, a 30min swim, some weight work at your local gym (you don't need to talk to people when there), or even something as simple as a set of press-ups that you can build up at home - the more you do it, the better you'll get and the more you'll be able to do. Automatically you're proving to yourself that you've achieved something.

 

There's an app that I use on my phone (Freeletics); it gives you a bunch of free programs to use (you can subscribe for a membership and you get access to more workout routines) but I only use the free option at the moment. It's essentially a home HIIT program with varying activities. I'm quite active anyway, between running, cycling, gym work etc, but when I use the Freeletics training, a good 30-45minutes is all you need (total workout time); you'll be sweating like you've just got out of a sauna, and you'll feel good for it. I'd encourage everyone to at least have a go. It's free. You can do it on your own time, at home, and at your own pace. You don't need any equipment (though there are workout options for you if you did want them). It's a win-win. 

 

On ‎4‎/‎28‎/‎2018 at 7:12 PM, Derphoe said:

I have anxiety and depression. My anxiety keeps my eyes to the ground as I repeat over and over in my head please don't talk to me please dont talk to me. I go to great lengths to make sure I dont ever have to interact with people in my everyday life. I miss out on all the important events with friends and family. When I am confident enough to go somewhere I ruin it by having a anxiety attack, sweating like I ran 8 miles, shaking, hyperventilating.. I never say goodbye to anyone but they just know. I have friends and family who love me but you would never be able to convince me of that. There is a voice in my head that is the worst kind of bully, it tells me I will fail, I am ugly, they hate me, I am worthless, I am nothing. My depression makes me want to sleep all day as long as I could so I would be closer to the day I die. The world has this grey hue to it and nothing feels like it matters. I feel like a burden because my wife caters to my anxiety and depression and loves me. My daughter once told me I didn't have to go with her somewhere because she knows I am scared of people and mama will just take her. I drowned myself in alcohol to feel normal. Thru alcohol I have built relationships and accomplishments. 7/13/17 I attempted suicide. I failed, was revived and hospitalized for 3 weeks. I learned alot about myself during that time. I have been on and off a sh*t ton of meds but stopped taking them because I felt like a zombie that wasnt even getting better. Ive learned the why's, and how to grasp on to the positive day by day. Sober for almost 3 weeks now. I believe the cure for anxiety and depression is just finding something you love that is good enough to keep you here and never let it go. Some days I wake up and want to die but I don't, I keep living. Some days I miss the razor piercing my skin and the cold blood running down my arm, but I have a sense of dark humour and laugh those "silly" thoughts out of my head. I have a long road ahead of me but everyday gets better. Ive never had an opportunity to share this with anyone, I feel a really huge weight off my shoulders and today will be a good day because of it.

This is the … attitude to have. I've never felt suicidal, so I can't relate to the feeling (nor do I pretend too), but when you choose to live, you can face, and fight your problems, and over time, it gets better. That's obviously not the case with suicide.

On ‎4‎/‎29‎/‎2018 at 11:19 AM, Sanches said:

I got some stage of depression, which is pretty annoying and prevents me from doing daily things in peace.
In my childhood i twisted my left ankle and it actually never healed completely so i limp even today.
Pretty much like Mr. Scrach said, i've broken my left pinky once and it still looks like a hook and i barely move it.

Is it not possible to have your ankle surgically broken and reset correctly?

On ‎4‎/‎30‎/‎2018 at 7:53 PM, Menstrual Deranged said:

Endometriosis has been the biggest bitch, though. If you care to know what it is, go ahead and Google. Last year I had a hysterectomy in order to get some relief from it. I was diagnosed with it over 10 years ago and had surgery for it soon after that to remove some of the scar tissue/adhesions from my uterus and the inside of my abdomen. Then a few years ago, it started up again. I started having excruciating pain that made me feel like I was dying for half the damn month every damn month of the damn year. Aside from the severe abdominal cramping: body aches, headaches, dizziness, nausea, and the general desire to die. My OB/Gyn wanted to put me on all kinds of hormones to induce medical menopause and I said I was done with hormones and their side effects, please remove this piece of sh*t uterus. Why should I bother keeping it anyways? I don't want any more kids, why should I allow my uterus to torture me every month? She didn't share the same sentiment, she thought I was "too young" for a hysterectomy so I switched doctors and found one who agreed with the removal of unnecessary body organs like uteri.

Your doctor shouldn't really have used her opinion to dissuade your decision. I'm glad you found another doctor who actually listened to you though.

On ‎5‎/‎1‎/‎2018 at 11:52 AM, Guest said:

I am a happy person now, since embracing my "shortcomings" have given me the mental space to celebrate my strengths. The "official" diagnosis has also helped people around me to understand me better, improving communications hugely and enabling me to contribute according to my individual strengths rather than feeling wrong for any weaknesses, although I still get stressed out and sad by my issues at certain times, of course

Keep that mentality. Never be afraid of writing too much either. Writing thoughts and emotions down, whether in public (like here) or in private takes a load off the mind. 

 

On ‎5‎/‎23‎/‎2018 at 3:43 PM, FukNRekd said:

Aside from being highly anti-social (is that bad or good?) My disabilities are all self inflicted. I could fill reels of /fail/ compilations, hence the name FukNRekd.

I don't think it's bad to be anti social, so long as you're not overly self dependant. We're social creatures by nature, however not everyone wishes to be in the limelight, and that's a good thing (I think). I do however think it's nice, warm even, to have that social circle, even if it is a small one.

On ‎5‎/‎23‎/‎2018 at 3:43 PM, FukNRekd said:

Broken ankles in high school (motorcycle), now they often give out, usually while walking on stairs.

 

Took meat off tops of both feet (motorcycle, different accident), can't wear new shoes or boots still, will be a year in August. Nerves mostly gone.

 

Took skin off right leg, right arm, right shoulder and lower right back where the skin is real tender (motorcycle, different accident, had future Mrs Rekd on back. This actually sealed our f*ck-buddy relationship and we have been married for 24 years now). Numbness and lack of motion in leg, tight skin on back makes bending left very difficult.

I'm thinking that maybe you should give up your motorcycling. You don't seem to have much luck with it. 😛

 

On ‎6‎/‎3‎/‎2018 at 5:37 AM, Lock n' Stock said:

While this has had an effect on me and my social skills, I don't feel that much different from anyone else nor consider myself "socially awkward" these days. I'm more or less just an ordinary guy.

And nor should you (feel different that is). We're all an odd bunch, all 7+ billion of us.

 

On ‎6‎/‎29‎/‎2018 at 7:37 PM, GTA3Claude said:

I think I'm in a rather good physical condition, yet I do have Aspergers too. I've been diagnosed only two years and half ago. My brain is wired to a very specific routine, for example I love to make games, take care of animals, to play with Lego and to collect PSP games since several years. It doesn't really change anything for me because I've been diagnosed when I was 25, I guess it's too late to do something about it.

 

Being an Asperger, I think that regular school wasn't for me at all. It ruined my school years whether it be socially (because of bullies and hypocrites) or in terms of grades. I never been able to understand anything to scientific subjects, especially maths, yet I always had rather great grades in more literary ones, like French (my native language), History and English.

 

Finally, I don't know if it's a side effect for having been bullied for several years but I've ended up getting a deep resentment towards people (even when I don't know them at all, I'm almost unable to socialize with others and make friends out of them).

It's a shame really that schools don't account for different styles of learning. I guess it's no fault of theirs (specifically), especially when you've got one teacher trying to educate a room of 30+ students. There are many ways that individuals learn; some people like to read, some people like to watch, some people like to get stuck in and have a go. Schools don't generally cater to that; in most cases it's very much textbook, which simply isn't realistic. School grades aren't a true reflection of ones capabilities, and yet 

On ‎7‎/‎30‎/‎2018 at 12:04 PM, GTA_CAT said:

I have depression, anxiety and maybe some more things but I don't care too much, I prefer to keep on doing whatever I can and finding myself ways to improve or minimalize the effects because at the end everybody has some kind of "mental disorder" and if you are constantly thinking about it you will get mad. Neither I'm taking pills or something else, I did some years ago but now I prefer to workout in the mountains, eat healthy (not 100% lol) and sleeping enough. Also I have improved mental control techniques in order to control some attacks and they hardly ever fail. All my mental condition along all the problems and sh*t that have shaped it has helped me to rethink my life and get another point of view, better than the previous one I had. Just remember things have to get better some day and everybody has their stuff and nobody is weird for that.

Love the attitude here. 😊

On ‎9‎/‎7‎/‎2018 at 7:04 AM, Karami said:

Anxiety and depression has pushed me into becoming more of a hermit than ever. Whenever I’m forced to go out with family, I listen to music to silence the world around me. No matter where I go (with or without family/music), my anxiety puts my gelotophobia at an all-time high. I tend to have that feeling that people judge me about my looks in a negative way. Hell, that’s what I hear most of the time. The most common response I receive before or after passing me by is “ugly”. It hurts like a bullet drilling through the heart. They make me feel like a f*cking walking disease. Hearing this most often really saddens me deeply that I may never know what love feels like, but at the same time, it makes me very isolated and distant to people than usual. It’s even 10x worse seeing and realizing how cold the world treats people (& myself) solely on looks. Basically, the halo effect. Thanks to anxiety and depression, I have low self-esteem, I dislike taking pictures or being involved in it, and the same applies to recording. Thanks to anxiety and depression, I tend to hide from the world mostly being indoors, bury my face in with my phone or book in public, or wearing a face mask (like a fashion face mask or those doctor face masks...sometimes). It’s silly, I know.

Sorry, but can I clarify here, are people actually saying that to you, or do you just imagine and/or think that they are? In either case, why does the opinion of someone else matter to you?

 

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I apologise in advance if I've offended anyone here or appear patronising. Certainly wasn't intentional. Nobody should be made to feel worthless, and (I've found) more often than not the people that put that feeling unto others do so because they're actually not all that happy in their own lives, so the next time someone says something horrible to any of you, or the next time you thinking you're being judged, instead of taking it to heart, ask yourself why you think that other person is saying what they did to you, or is looking at you the way they are; they may very well have troubles of their own and see venting at you as a temporary solution to their own demons. That's not to say it's right, or acceptable, but just something worth taking note over.

[Big Fat Paulie 106]

Asperger Syndrome/Autism Spectrum Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, and ADHD, among other issues.

 

That being said, I try not to make a big deal out of my conditions. Everyone's got something in their lives they have to deal with and I'm not any different in that regard.

 

Yeah, it's not ideal but it could be a whole lot worse for me too.

[Effy in Chains 94]

Anxiety & Depression. Do I win a prize?

[Evil empire 1,581]

I surely have ADD.