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Osric

Insomnia By Night

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Osric

Author's Note: This is a new fanfic of mine that is being cross-posted from Wattpad. It draws from previous aborted ideas of mine such as "Lords of Wise" and "Living After Midnight" and refines them into a more definite narrative. I'll be posting the second chapter both on Wattpad and on here later today. And yes, the places mentioned in this story are actual locations in Southwestern Virginia. I grew up in that area.

 

 

Deep back in the hills, and way down in Virginia. It is here that our story takes place.

Deep in the heart of the Appalachian Mountains, nestled in the coalfields of Southwestern Virginia, was a small and quaint, albeit impoverished mining town by the name of Dante, pronounced by the locals as "Daint", rhyming with the word "paint". Even though the locals would pronounce the word "Dante" properly if used as a proper name (such as "Dante's Inferno" or the main characters from Clerks and Devil May Cry), they would always pronounce the town's name in their own peculiar way. Nobody knew how that got started and to put it quite bluntly, nobody really cared either.

Dante was a simple little village that straddled the lines between Dickenson County and Russell County and it had seen better days. Coal mining was essentially dead, and the only activity of note was at the small railyard owned by CSX, used primarily for switching freight trains. Drugs, poverty, and general decay had set in, and overall the town was barely hanging in there. In recent years, the locals tried their best to renew the little coal town, even restoring the abandoned Clinchfield Railroad office building and converting it into a small apartment complex where the rent was cheap and so were the utilities. It was here that a young man named Noctis Lucis Caelum lived, having moved into Dante from the more suburban locale of Roanoke the previous year.

Dawn had arrived and night had departed, and as the sun rose over the streets of Dante, Noctis Lucis Caelum awoke from his nocturnal slumber, the raven-haired young man clad only in a pair of black boxer shorts and very much in need of a caffeine boost. It was Saturday and the young man was bored as f*ck. There was nothing to look forward to today aside from the anime airing on Toonami, and that would not happen until later that night. He could have gotten into his car and driven over to Saint Paul or Coeburn for some breakfast at McDonald's or something, but he honestly didn't feel like it. Driving all that way just wasn't in the cards for him this morning. Hell, he didn't even want to get dressed today. Since it was the weekend and nobody was around to bother him, Noctis was perfectly content with having his underwear be his only wear for the time being.

"Same sh*t, different day." Noctis whispered to himself as he got off the small futon mattress in his small studio apartment.

Yawning loudly, the young man stood up and walked across the cheap laminated floor to the fridge, opening it up to grab a can of mango-flavored Venom Energy Drink. Noctis loved Venom, it was a potent energy drink that could keep you going and tasted better than Monster. It only cost ninety-nine cents for a single can and the flavor was great. It appeared Venom was a regional brand because while every convenience store and supermarket in the coalfields of deep Southwest Virginia carried Venom, not a single can could be found for sale in Roanoke. And for Noctis, that was one of the little positive perks of leaving the Roanoke Valley and moving into a more affordable country locale. Venom Energy Drink put the "energy" back in energy drink. It was like liquid meth, except it was perfectly legal and there was nothing they could do about it. Three cans of Venom Energy Drink and Noctis Lucis Caelum felt like he could take on the elite legions of the Roman Empire, and there was no doubt about it.

Cracking open the pop-top can, Noctis slowly sipped on the sweet mango-flavored bright yellow-colored ambrosia as he felt the caffeine, herbal supplements, and God knows what other chemicals energize him and give him a little pep in his step. Venom Energy Drink was truly the nectar of the gods, the official drink of Odin and crew, and for the dude with the spiky raven black hair, he was glad that it was cheap and easily available where he lived.

As Noctis downed the last sip of his favorite drink, he quickly began pacing the floor and thinking of what he could do to pass the time. Saturday was going to be a long day and there was nothing good on TV. Noctis could've gone out, as he had the money but for now he was not feeling it. He began to ponder what all he wanted to do for the day, as all of the time he had was completely free.

"You know, I could play some games on my Playstation 4, but I've sort of played them all by now and I'm kind of burned out on them. There's Sailor Moon on Hulu and Cardcaptor Sakura on Crunchyroll, but I'm not feeling like watching TV today, even if it is streaming media. I would really love to play some old-school tabletop role-playing games like I did back in Roanoke, but that would require actual friends to play and....hey, wait a minute....that's it!"

The young man had an idea. Noctis immediately bolted to his bed and grabbed the fully charged laptop he had resting on the milk crate he used as a nightstand. He knew that there were online role-playing games out there, games where people would play entire campaigns either through forum posts or text-based chat. Maybe he could find the right game if he looked hard enough, and that could give him something to occupy his time for now.

What else was he going to do? Count the flowers on the wall?

 

Edited by Osric

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JaberDoe

Cool story, bud!

Noctis is my favorite character from FFXV so imagining him here was quite interesting.

 

 

I know the activity here is very...low(?), but you said you'll post part two 3 days ago, man!

 

Also, I'm not sure, but do you want comments/remarks on the writing itself?

If you just wanted to share, that itself is awesome. :lol:

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Stewart Bowers

He should have tried his skills withwriitng reviews on Getessaydone. He would have enough to occupy his young mind, if not by quality than by quantity. There is so much to review in this world! No time to sleep, ever.

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Mokrie Dela

From the off this is quite heavy in disposition. And while done Well, I felt you spent too much time talking about Dante. The pronunciation, it's location, all this I think could have been condensed. The opening sentence is a bit long winded. You also refer to is as both a town and village which (yes these are nitpicks) seemed slightly confused.

 

 

The paragraph where Caelum wakes up would have been a much stronger opening to me (though saying dawn has arrived and night departing (and the rising sun) is superfluous - one will do; id consider if I want to hint something positive or negative - what tone are you going for? - and chose whichever fit best). I like the idea of using dawn arriving - the subtle personification is good, also gives it a sense of event. But going into the next sentence perhaps just stating the rising sun (you're showing the sun rise not telling us it's dawn) would be better. Definitely don't need all three.

 

Again with the show/tell: you're telling us he needs coffee. Instead show us his barely awake stumble; it's morning and we'll know how he's feeling. Describe his sensations - cold floor on bare feet is one of my favourites, though it's a cliche. Have him make a coffee - he can reflect on the caffeine then.

How is he bored already? You could show his actions to be unenthusiastic, hinting then revealing him to be bored... or have him reflect on the boring day ahead.

 

Sorry man but the sentence about Venom and Monster just sounds like an advert :p

 

I also wasn't feeling the passage where he's talking to himself. I do that all the time but not that much! It almost seems like you're trying to hide the list things he could do as dialogue.

 

As a flowing story... it doesnt. This is literally a passage about a man getting up in the morning. And while any story can be simplified to this extent, there's no depth to it. There's no alure. There's nothing that's making me want you to post chapter 2 RIGHT THE HELL NOW! The seeds for a character are all there but it feels like you haven't watered them. I don't feel this character has grown at all.

 

 

Now I know that sounds quiet negative. It's not to say I disliked it but I feel more work is needed. To get people wanting to read on you have to dangle a carrot in front of them: make them want more! Either do so with tantalising purple prose, effective and almost lyrical description, or a story/mystery that means we HAVE to read on. This story has neither in my eyes, but it does have the seeds of it. Further delving into the protagonists psyche, make us FEEL his boredom and struggle, but he's kinda coming across like a bit of a kid. Bored with his playstation and tv (I don't think this is your intention).

 

Definitely keep up the work. I'm loving seeing that you've posted it, and in terms of the actual technical ins and outs, it's reasonably sound. Some tweaks here and there (snappier sentences, especially in the opening, trimming the aforementioned superfluous description etc)

 

Keep going dude 👍

 

Cool story, bud!

Noctis is my favorite character from FFXV so imagining him here was quite interesting.

 

 

I know the activity here is very...low(?), but you said you'll post part two 3 days ago, man!

 

Also, I'm not sure, but do you want comments/remarks on the writing itself?

If you just wanted to share, that itself is awesome. :lol:

Definitely man. Post your opinion and ways you think it can be improved or what you feel makes it shine! Edited by Mokrie Dela

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Osric

I sincerely apologize for not updating this sooner, I sort of got pre-occupied with some real-life stuff and I'm also working on an original story as well. But I will definitely update this fic as soon as I possibly can and I will take all the feedback so far into account.

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Mokrie Dela

Real life happens man, don't worry about it. Take your time in writing: allow yourself the chance to edit and fine tune it. Dont rush it and lose the enjoyment of it

Edited by Mokrie Dela

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JaberDoe

I sincerely apologize for not updating this sooner, I sort of got pre-occupied with some real-life stuff and I'm also working on an original story as well. But I will definitely update this fic as soon as I possibly can and I will take all the feedback so far into account.

 

tenor.gif

 

 

All's good.

Looking forward to part two!

 

When it comes to my feedback:

 

Basically, what Mokrie Dela said.

 

Focusing too much on things that don't really need it. Makes it seem the story is about the town or the drink, etc.

 

The way he talks to himself seems weird. When I wanna play PlayStation, I don't say "I'll play PlayStation 4." Maybe I'll say "I'll play some PS4" or "I'll play some games" or something of that sort. Also if I'm gonna watch an Anime I don't say where I'm gonna watch it or what site I'm going to use. I'll just say I'm gonna go watch some Steins;Gate or whatever. I already know where I can watch it. Why am I telling myself that?

 

Also, I don't get the "flowers on the wall" part, lol!

 

Now, what I liked about it was that I can feel the author is writing what they want to. The author is putting their heart into it and you can tell. That itself adds a lot of authenticity to what I'm reading.

 

The language used for the describing details etc, was great! Good usage of vocabulary.

It's also about my favorite FFXV character, so extra credits for that! :lol:

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Osric

The line about "flowers on the wall" is a reference to one of my favorite songs.

 

 

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JaberDoe

Fits the story perfectly!

Love the song, too.

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Osric

Author's Note: I'm finally back after an unexpected days-long hiatus. This chapter is where the RPG stuff gets more involved, it also contains crossovers with Final Fantasy VII and I had a great time coming up with ideas for this chapter and outlining them.

 

For those who are curious, RPG Pub is an actual forum I am part of. My username is Doc Sammy over there, and the guys in that community are very friendly and easy-going. However, no actual RPG Pub users were harmed in the making of this chapter! :lol:

A little warning on this chapter, it contains a little bit of discussion on some real-life stuff and I'll admit that the opinions expressed are also my own. However, said discussion is actually relevant to the plot.

 

Noctis laid back on the bed, sighing in relaxation and sipping on yet another can of Venom as his laptop began to load up for the first time in about a day and a half. With the laptop charging and plugged into the wall, the young man couldn't go far from his bed while he was online, but given the fact that this was an otherwise empty and boring Saturday morning, he didn't have to. He didn't have anywhere to go and quite frankly, didn't want to go anywhere even if he did.

Nah, Noctis Lucis Caelum was ready to get his game on and get back into the groove of good old-fashioned pen-and-paper role-playing games, only this time the pen and paper would be traded for typing on a keyboard and instead of playing with funny-looking polyhedral dice, he'd be using an online dice roller which simulated the probability of using dice by generating random numbers. All in all, it was fun and while he had played an online forum-based game once before, that was a really long time ago when he was in middle school. Since then he had only played such games in person with his buddies up in Roanoke.

 

However, just thinking about the long online campaign he played way back when he was a twelve-year old rookie role-player was making Noctis feel very nostalgic for those bygone days of staying up way too late to watch Adult Swim and spending many an afternoon playing on his Playstation 2, playing classic stuff like Grand Theft Auto, Dynasty Warriors, and Resident Evil.

 

"It was long ago and it was far away. So much better than it is today, as the old song goes." Noctis whispered to himself as he logged into his favorite online community for the discussion of his favorite hobby.

 

The community in question was called RPG Pub, and it was a small yet rapidly growing forum for the topic of tabletop gaming. The site was created as a place for free and open discussion of gaming, with the only real rule being "No real-world politics!", which for someone like Noctis was a godsend.

 

The boy was tired of politics in this day and age, and he hated how polarized and divisive everything had become, regardless of whether or not it came from the Left or the Right. Traditionally speaking, Noctis had always considered himself a center-left sort of guy, but at this point he was fed up with anything socio-political in nature. whether it be from Republicans or Democrats, left-wing or right-wing, he didn't care anymore. He was sick of it all.

 

In the young man's mind, it was all garbage and it was bad for him. So Noctis decided he'd just tune out, drop out, flee far away into the Appalachian wilderness, and from there spend the next couple of years or so on his couch, where he would take it upon himself to binge watch anime and reruns of M*A*S*H, and then top it all off by cracking open a bottle of Jack Daniels to drown his sorrows and help him forget the real world for a while.

 

And that hatred of political matters was precisely why Mr. Caelum loved RPG Pub. Unlike other forums he had been on, there wasn't one bit of polarization or divisive arguing over the same political topics that had made Noctis sick to his stomach.

 

There you could discuss nearly anything you wanted except such real-world affairs, and because of that one rule he loved the place. Over there, he went by the handle of "Count Dante", a name that he felt sounded badass and also doubled as a both a reference to the famous martial artist of the 1960's and 1970's, as well as a loving homage to the little hillbilly village where he had made his new home far away from the stress and strife back in Roanoke.

 

Noctis Lucis Caelum (or Count Dante as it were) had a lot of friends over at The Pub, as he often referred to his favorite role-playing game discussion forum. And he knew for a fact that some of them would run online "Play-by-Post" campaigns on a dedicated sub-forum for such things. So it was there he felt he could find some game to play that would help cure him of his cabin fever.

 

Plugging in his earphones, opening up a separate tab for YouTube and listening to a playlist he created that he called his "Dungeons & Dragons Mixtape" (a mixtape that seemed to solely comprise of Black Sabbath, Led Zeppelin, the late great Ronnie James Dio, and Creedence Clearwater Revival), Noctis began to look over the Play-by-Post sub-forum for campaign recruitment threads.

 

The dark-haired and pale-skinned dude had played many tabletop gaming systems over the past decade and a half, starting with the revised Third Edition of Dungeons & Dragons way back in the summer of 2004, shortly after he turned eleven years old.

 

Since then, he had discovered many great games such as the rather popular Pathfinder RPG (even if that one was a clone of D&D 3.5), various editions of Dungeons & Dragons (both the old classics like Advanced D&D and newer material like the awesomeness that was Fifth Edition), White Wolf's Classic World of Darkness games like Vampire: The Masquerade and Werewolf: The Apocalypse, along with other systems such as GURPS, Big Eyes Small Mouth, Shadowrun, and more obscure stuff like the Vietnam War-themed RECON and the post-apocalyptic Cold War Reagan-era craziness that was Twilight 2000.

 

However, Noctis wanted to kick it old-school. Very old-school. Extremely old-school. Noctis was talking along the lines of "Original 1970's Boxed Sets" levels of old-school gaming.

 

In other words, he was talking about the original 1974 rules for Dungeons & Dragons, often referred to as "Zero Edition" or "White Box". These were the rules originally penned by Gary Gygax and Dave Arneson back in the day, which started the entire hobby of pen-and-paper role-playing. This was not his daddy's D&D, it was more like his granddaddy's D&D. This was where it all began, and luckily for Noctis, he had bought the official re-release of the boxed set rules from Wizards of the Coast, which compiled the three pamphlets from back in the 70's into a neat and well-formatted PDF.

 

This was the kind of gaming that was played back in the days when New York City was a chaotic and violent wasteland, Dirty Harry Callahan was packing heat while John Holmes was just packing, M*A*S*H was airing new episodes every week, the now venerable Star Wars was a new and original concept, America was saddened from losing the war in Vietnam but then excited about the Bicentennial, and both disco and Kung Fu movies were all the rage.

 

Noctis wanted to go back to an era that well before his time, and in order to get there he knew just who to talk to over at the Pub. A guy whom he was good friends with online, to the point that they even talked games on Discord, a silver-haired yet handsome man named Sephiroth, AKA Angel712, as the guys on the Pub knew him as.

 

Sephiroth was an old-school gamer and a hardcore dude back in his day. He played D&D as a child and later teenager back in the 1970's and 1980's, but he wasn't just some skinny geek or basement-dwelling neckbeard.

 

No, Sephiroth was one badass dude. He lived in Chicago, over on the North Side near Kilbourn Park, and was a member of the Almighty Gaylords, a mostly white street gang originally founded in the 1950's as a greaser gang and mainly comprised of Irish, Italians, Greeks, and Poles, though there were a few Latino and Asian members documented in the gang as well. Pledging loyalty to the Five-Pointed Star of the People Nation, the Gaylords were once the largest white gang in Chicago. During the time Sephiroth was banging with them in the 1980's, they were third-largest gang in the city overall, second only to the Latin Kings and Gangster Disciples.

 

Despite their silly name, the Almighty Gaylords were one of the most brutally violent and fiercely territorial gangs in Chicago, even if their heyday of the 70's and 80's had long been over. The way Sephiroth put it to Noctis, these guys were like the real-life equivalent of S.E. Hinton's The Outsiders or that old movie The Warriors. But even then, there were certain things about his glory days that Sephiroth would not discuss with Noctis.

 

The Gaylords were still active in the suburbs and semi-active around the areas of Kilbourn Park and Sayre Park, but were very small in number and more withdrawn about it.

 

Sephiroth was once one a loyal foot soldier for the gang, but those days were long past him. "Thank God", as he would always say.

 

The dude no longer ran with them anymore and by this point he had pretty much renounced his life of crime and violence shortly after he had found God, but he wouldn't rat the gang out either, and he kept his fallen homeboys in memory.

 

Sephiroth didn't exactly regret his gang life, but he did not recommend it and was glad to be out of it.

 

The handsome Gen X'er was in his late forties, almost fifty, but looked like he was in his late twenties or early-to-mid thirties due to a mix of relatively healthy living and luck of the draw in the genetic lottery.

 

Sephiroth had long hippie hair colored a bright silvery white, and liked to wear a lot of black. He even had gang tattoos from the old days, images of Roman and Maltese Crosses, five-pointed stars, the number "712", and phrases like "Cross is Boss", "God Forgives, Gaylords Don't", and "All is Well, Well is All". But that was all in the past and now he just wanted to live out his middle-aged years living quietly as a mild-mannered geek, playing tabletop games, reading comic books and manga, attending church, and doing volunteer charity work for the homeless and working poor of Chicago, as well as the underprivileged youth.

Noctis sent Sephiroth a private message over at the Pub, as the older gamer had posted an open recruitment thread in the Play-by-Post section for a campaign in the vein of what Noctis was looking for. He was looking for players for a long-term forum-based Play By Post campaign of "Dungeons & Dragons Zero Edition", and Noctis was eager to sign up.

 

For now, his buddy in Chicago was not online, and so he was content to just listen to music while he eagerly awaited a reply from his online gamer friend and brainstormed concepts for what kind of character he would play as.

 

Things were looking good for Noctis so far, and something told him that this would be a great weekend.

Edited by Osric

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JaberDoe

Awesome!

Lots of details and great descriptions. Once again, great vocabulary.

I love the world building.

 

I got a bit confused there about what timeline the story takes place, but that's before finding out Sephiroth was middle-aged, lol.

 

And I really like this line for some reason:

"However, Noctis wanted to kick it old-school. Very old-school. Extremely old-school. Noctis was talking along the lines of "Original 1970's Boxed Sets" levels of old-school gaming."

 

Overall, it was an entertaining read.

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Osric

Awesome!

Lots of details and great descriptions. Once again, great vocabulary.

I love the world building.

 

I got a bit confused there about what timeline the story takes place, but that's before finding out Sephiroth was middle-aged, lol.

 

And I really like this line for some reason:

"However, Noctis wanted to kick it old-school. Very old-school. Extremely old-school. Noctis was talking along the lines of "Original 1970's Boxed Sets" levels of old-school gaming."

 

Overall, it was an entertaining read.

 

I am very glad you like it.

 

As for Sephiroth's past, I am a bit of a fan of Chicago street gang history, and I figured I could incorporate that into the background of this story.

 

The Gaylords are an actual gang in Chicago and the rural Midwest.

 

They got the name back in the 1950's before the word "gay" was commonly associated with homosexuality, apparently it is both an English transliteration of an Italian word meaning "brute strength" and a reference to the Gaillards, an old Celtic warrior tribe in Antiquity.

 

Richard I of England claimed descent from the Gaillards and built a castle in France in their honor, the Chateau Gaillard. Gaylord is the English form of Gaillard, which is where we get the surname from.

 

I love writing this fic, and I'm mostly doing it off the cuff too.

Edited by Osric

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JaberDoe

 

I love writing this fic, and I'm mostly doing it off the cuff too.

 

 

You're enjoyment is very clear! :lol:

That's why I think it's good. You want to write this.

 

I always thought "gay" used to mean joyful or peppy.

Edited by JaberDoe

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Osric

 

 

I love writing this fic, and I'm mostly doing it off the cuff too.

 

 

You're enjoyment is very clear! :lol:

That's why I think it's good. You want to write this.

 

I always thought "gay" used to mean joyful or peppy.

 

 

It does mean "joyful" and "preppy" as well, but after the late 1960's, it also was used as a synonym for being homosexual.

 

I love the idea of Sephiroth being a reformed gang member from back in the old-school days.

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JerrySnow
Posted (edited)

 

 

 

I love writing this fic, and I'm mostly doing it off the cuff too.

 

You're enjoyment is very clear! :lol:

That's why I think it's good. You want to write this.

 

I always thought "gay" used to mean joyful or peppy.

 

It does mean "joyful" and "preppy" as well, but after the late 1960's, it also was used as a synonym for being homosexual.

 

I love the idea of Sephiroth being a reformed gang member from back in the old-school days.

 

LOL.

I can't imagine it! Good idea) I also like writing and that is why you interested me) Good luck boys.

 

 

Edited by Mokrie Dela

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Mokrie Dela

Not sure why you're linking to that website but I removed the link as it seems an irrelevant link to a company's website. Could even consider it advertising

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Osric

I am going to get back onto this fic really soon.

 

Sorry I hadn't updated it in so long.

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