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Vitalize

Heist Failiure/Funny Stories - Doomsday Edition

Recommended Posts

Vitalize

Leave some funny or failure stories for a quick chuckle to lighten up the dense feeling of this update.

 

EDIT: I mispelled the f*ckin thread name. im such a dumbass.

Edited by Samcrow

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Cutter De Blanc

Joined an Akula setup, the guy insists on piloting, then slams the Akula into the Noose building killing us all, and then leaves.

Ahh, heists are back.

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septimoose

A guy asked me to help with his Criminal Mastermind challenge. I figured I'd quite like the challenge.

 

So he loads up Act 1 - Mission 1, where you've got to go to the morgue. He goes to the morgue while I get the Savage and as soon as I arrive at the morgue, he's only just arriving at there.

 

Within 30 seconds of him entering the building, he dies. So I go to get the helicopter again. But before I've even got to it, he died again!

 

He randomly quit (probably out of embarrassment), so I message him to see if he wants to try again later. No response, no longer shows up as online or in my friends list.

 

Is it possible that I was blocked by someone so embarrassed of his bad heisting that he couldn't face me? I mean, we've all had bad days!

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IamCourtney

Blew a half-attempt at 3 man Criminal Mastermind by falling down a friggin ladder like a day one noob lol

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JustCallMeNiko

After trying the last finale with at least 10 random teams and failing to get past the hacking part each time I tried it again with 2 other players.

 

One dude kept trying to Rambo the mission and must have died 25 times while neither myself or the other guy died more than maybe once. I really wanted to try the hack part so kept trying. Rambo won't stop going in first despite being asked to hang back more than once. I was getting pissed at him but wanted to try the hack myself before quitting.

 

Finally got to the hack part and Rambo sprints ahead to the server without us. Here we go again....

 

Rambo makes it through all 4 servers on the first try with over 10 minutes left. Then he gets all the orbital cannon targets while I was still figuring out how it worked. Then he got the last kill too.

 

I never got to try the hack but no complaints. Thanks Rambo.

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TheFroggmann

Doing the Deluxo setup, hacked and destroyed the armored trucks. During which I'm trying every button on my controller to try to engage hover mode. Figure it gets auto-deployed once you hit the water.

 

 

Nope

 

 

Jump off a cliff, go straight into the water...

 

"Press A to engage hover mode"

 

Gee R* could have used that bit of information a bit earlier...

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SHOKKERZ91

After finishing the hack of the datafarm, my crew and i fought back our way to the akula. I was providing cover while my 2 other mates climbed up the ladder. I shot the tailrotor of a police chopper only to watch it crash into the ladder, mowing down my 2 mates and send them flying away, killing them in the process. We all laughed really hard at this. ;)

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Shadowfennekin

Not a mission fail.... but more of a personal failure.

 

I landed my Deluxo on the barge while helping out a random with the electronics. I then tried to take off but I hit the crane and fell straight down into the ocean...... I was so f*cking embarrassed and pissed at the same time.

20k.....

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79'Blazer4x4

The first time I tried the Avenger setup I had no idea we were equipped with night vision, so when the lights went off I was just bumbling around in the dark like an idiot and relying on auto aim to find the enemies. After somehow surviving this for a minute I thought "obviously something's wrong here, maybe I have night vision, so I pressed right on the d-pad and sure enough. I got into cover with a sliver of health left and healed up with snacks, then my teammates ended up dying(not sure if one died twice or if two each died once) and we failed. Somehow I didn't die while running around like an idiot in the dark, but my teammates managed to die after I figured things out. Nonetheless I felt like an moron.

 

On the same mission(for a different random host, the first team and I never did manage to beat it) we actually got the power back on after a few tries. The host said someone else could pilot the Avenger because he was a bad pilot(props to him for admitting that and letting someone else fly instead of trying and crashing it ), so I ended up piloting because I got to it first. I was flying away at a high altitude, obviously not realizing I had to be flying low until Lester said it(not sure if there was no on screen instruction saying it before Lester said it or if I was just having a "can't read instructions" day), so I put it into a straight vertical dive and just barely made it low enough before the lock on was completed. Once again, I felt like a moron, but everything went smoothly after that.

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Gustagrace

Server Farm fail : the random player didn't know that the ladder existed. so he jumped off the building and died

Rescue Agent 14 fail ; another random player tried to "Rambo" avon's juggernaut with assault shotgun. he left cover and then died instantly

Khanjali fail : another player used vigilante to blow up vehicles inside the warehouse but he caught up the blast radius, meanwhile i was already at the tank

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Supercj14

We were doing the mission with the huge plane (code name flying dorito). The bombing and flying was so much fun, and after a few minutes we are down to the last air defense system to destroy.

 

Its near the slope so we have to be careful. Our pilot goes all the way up and gets it, Then we come down just to get stuck. It was a simple fix but someone jumped out and down the mountain. The fear that shock are bodies was intense but he got was going up the slope.

 

As GTA players we all know what to do, but he did not. He went straight up, then straight down to death. We restart all the way at the start. Thank you random player.

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Fireboy769

We didn't fail, but still.

 

I was busy ramming Avon's Clone's trucks in the Escort ULP mission out of boredom (the mission isn't hard but it sure is boring). There's a clone standing outside in front of his trucl so I naturally go full speed and try to ram him

 

I rammed him all right

But I didn 't notice the guys in the Chernobog were also gonna ram him

 

They ended up accidentally driving over my Ramp Buggy. The truck was so damn heavy IT LITERALLY KNOCKED A TIRE OFF THE RAMP BUGGY, SOMETHING THAT'S NEAR IMPOSSIBLE TO DO IN ONLINE. I was really shocked and surprised that the tire actually came off like that. I eventually ended having to call for my Duke o Death since I got stranded on the highway with a Buggy that slipped and slided with every turn.

 

Edited by Fireboy769

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xwinkx_girlYakuza

Some random just went afk after we killed Avon in the finale. The rest of us was waiting for the guy to meet up at the observatory while he was floating in the sky for like 15 minutes before we gave up and had to restart. I was so mad!! :cry:

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pietsaabye

Yeah fun story here... was playing full health and armor... got one shot and died and wasted a lot of peoples time because these enemys are complete bs... difficulty is not having to f..ing shot a guy 60 times..

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Rafae

Some random just went afk after we killed Avon in the finale. The rest of us was waiting for the guy to meet up at the observatory while he was floating in the sky for like 15 minutes before we gave up and had to restart. I was so mad!! :cry:

 

lmao wow

 

That is literally the worst time in this entire heist for something to go wrong.

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HonorableMan

Was doing the final heist, two people. We'd gone slowly, methodically, perfectly. We finished using the orbital cannons, were told to go after Avon- and then suddenly I lost connection.

 

I had been trying that heist for 6 hours with idiot friends in four player groups. This was the last chance I had to play for five days. It killed me.

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Rafae

Was doing the final heist, two people. We'd gone slowly, methodically, perfectly. We finished using the orbital cannons, were told to go after Avon- and then suddenly I lost connection.

 

I had been trying that heist for 6 hours with idiot friends in four player groups. This was the last chance I had to play for five days. It killed me.

 

My worst fear deadass.

 

Especially considering the fact that my net's been acting quirky and particularly so during the week this update came out. Thank god I didn't lose connection once throughout the night.

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Happy Hunter

 

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septimoose

Some random just went afk after we killed Avon in the finale. The rest of us was waiting for the guy to meet up at the observatory while he was floating in the sky for like 15 minutes before we gave up and had to restart. I was so mad!! :cry:

 

Just reading that causes me physical pain.

 

Waiting around just hoping he'd come back...

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ash-274

After four days (well, three, because I slept in on Tuesday) I finally got the "Rescue ULP" mission done.

21 attempted starts (actually got to the "choose your clothes and vehicle" screen)

2 AFK players that kept the location from ever triggering

"Dozens" that quit after joining but before it was loading

2 times that it said "CEO quit" (I didn't)

8 times that another player quit at some point before we even got into our cars

4 "Rambo" players that tried to charge blindly into the Foundry main area

4 "Rambo players" that died trying to do that

1 player that managed to get into his car outside my Facility and park his stupid ass in AFK, while the rest of us managed to complete the Setup

 

Now onto the Hard Drive one that AFK-douche joined me on before I could kick him and he screwed that mission up, too. Ran out of time twice.

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Silencer555

My friend murdered himself with the explosive Pump Shotgun MKII because he was too close to the guy. He told me he was trying to melee the dude as well lol.

giphy.gif

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HonorableMan

Gave the Doomsday Scenario another try, two players. I was hacking; my teammate tried to melee an enemy. Instead he began reloading his combat MG.

 

Needless to say, the enemy shot him dead.

 

We did finally finish though! I am now two million dollars richer.

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Bloodytears1666

Got my record on NPC kills in single mission, 234, while another guy attempted to hack second server for 15 minutes and hasn't complete.

 

Also laughed hard, when guy on Akula at "Server farms" tried to land it and went so badly screwed up, did some twists, and then just backflipped on helipad.

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hugh750

today i tried doing the doomsday act 2 heist where you have to use the rcv (which i found out doesn't handle snow well) with one random and i had it set to normal.

we saved the hdd's in the 1st area, we drive to the 2nd and the random died twice causing us to fail, i restart, pretty much the same thing happens on the 2nd try, i restart again and i message him to stay in the truck once we made it to the third area i got shot through one of the rcv's windows and the random die's as well, he basically messages me saying something like "it not work well",, i ended up hitting continue going into free roam and starting it again and this time i get 4 randoms and cleared the 1st area but one of them wanted to drive one of the enemy armored vehicles and i blocked him and hit the siren so he would get the idea to get back in the van (he didn't) and one of the other randoms quit. :angry:

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Aussie_Hunter

Ran through Act I with two low levels (41 and 38?...I am 301) I was helping out for cash (ones on my friends list) and got through with little issues aside from the fact we all died loads as I was still learning the ropes with these heists (i think I died more than them :lol: ). Begun Act II, the Avenger setup and oh boy what a cluster f*ck that was...eventually worked our way through once we got the hang on where the AI was (assisted aim helped alot though I must admit..) after multiple restarts. Get into the Avenger and away we go! Home free? Not quite...I am piloting and my new friends are enjoying the cannons and begun liberally blasting anything that moved. Unfortunately that also happened to be the IAA agents at the drop off. Watched with a sinking feeling as I see two shots head towards the hapless agents and cant warn them in time to stop their bloody shooting...

 

The second time I let one of them fly as they wanted flying experience. Yeah, probably not a good idea in this situation. I jump on to the cannons to pass the time and as I swing around to the front of the plane I see the side of a mountain loom ever closer in my sights. We are going to clear this crest right? Right? Nope. Boom. All dead.

 

Then it was a case of third times the charm. Finally! No idea how long that last setup took...

 

Yeah fun story here... was playing full health and armor... got one shot and died and wasted a lot of peoples time because these enemys are complete bs... difficulty is not having to f..ing shot a guy 60 times..

 

In the Avenger setup...and in the finale for Act 1 I was one shotted on several occasions with full health/armour...when hiding around a corner...Man those were some shotgun shells they had haha.

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The-Great-Cornholio

the only failure was cliford from stoping my team

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gtafan26

After four days (well, three, because I slept in on Tuesday) I finally got the "Rescue ULP" mission done.

21 attempted starts (actually got to the "choose your clothes and vehicle" screen)

2 AFK players that kept the location from ever triggering

"Dozens" that quit after joining but before it was loading

2 times that it said "CEO quit" (I didn't)

8 times that another player quit at some point before we even got into our cars

4 "Rambo" players that tried to charge blindly into the Foundry main area

4 "Rambo players" that died trying to do that

1 player that managed to get into his car outside my Facility and park his stupid ass in AFK, while the rest of us managed to complete the Setup

 

Now onto the Hard Drive one that AFK-douche joined me on before I could kick him and he screwed that mission up, too. Ran out of time twice.

This is my world right now

 

You PS4 right ? :lol:

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Sagrawa

Blew a half-attempt at 3 man Criminal Mastermind by falling down a friggin ladder like a day one noob lol

 

Haha, that stupid mission is where I've died twice and my friend as well. We're just taking like half a minute now to slowly walk towards it one by one. Give me 10 juggernauts any day over that ladder from hell;)

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IceDree

The Signal Interceptors set up.

 

I lost count on how many people destroyed the trucks on sight, how many people accidentally blowed themselves up & how many people drove straight into the water without switching to hover mode. Let me put it this way, it took me more attempts & more time to pass it than it took me to pass the Doomsday Scenario finale.

 

I finally passed it when the other player rode shotgun & let me do all the work. Even then, he wanted to sticky bomb everything & I had to break the pursuit just to stop him from throwing them .... Grrr.

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ash-274

 

After four days (well, three, because I slept in on Tuesday) I finally got the "Rescue ULP" mission done.

21 attempted starts (actually got to the "choose your clothes and vehicle" screen)

2 AFK players that kept the location from ever triggering

"Dozens" that quit after joining but before it was loading

2 times that it said "CEO quit" (I didn't)

8 times that another player quit at some point before we even got into our cars

4 "Rambo" players that tried to charge blindly into the Foundry main area

4 "Rambo players" that died trying to do that

1 player that managed to get into his car outside my Facility and park his stupid ass in AFK, while the rest of us managed to complete the Setup

 

Now onto the Hard Drive one that AFK-douche joined me on before I could kick him and he screwed that mission up, too. Ran out of time twice.

 

This is my world right now

 

You PS4 right ? :lol:

Yep :lol:

 

Karma story now.

This morning Im in a light lobby (only 5-7 other players) and there arent any [X killed Y] popups. I decide to roll the dice and do the Act III Prep missions alone, in public. I start with photographing the dock. Easy. While flying back I see another player near me that has the duffle bag from the other Prep mission for Agent 14. I need that still and Rockstar decided we could steal those from each other.

I head towards him and even get a missile off before he drives into a train tunnel. I hover overhead for a few seconds then say, this is such a dick-move. Why am I doing this to this random whos just trying to do what Im doing? So I text him, Relax. Youre safe. and fly back to my Facility to start my own duffle bag mission.

I do that duffle bag mission with no issues.

I steal the laptop from the house with no issues.

I do the Cherbourg mission and on the way over I run into that same player in a Mammatus flying near where I have to kill the guards and steal the truck. My Deluxo gets a missile lock but I turn away and get on with the mission. I kill the guards and start driving the truck and I get scores of Merryweather Mesas on my butt the whole (long) drive while Im defenseless, when this player shows up in his Buzzard and starts rocketing the Merryweather guys. He fired his guns at my truck a few times, but he didnt attack the way another probably would and it seemed it was just for show. I made it back OK and then he and his associate (who didnt fight) left the session.

Edited by ash-274

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