My 12 year old daughter's best friend who just turned 12 is pregnant....

[ṼirulenⱦEqừinox]

....AND I'M FREAKING OUT!!

 

Sadly, No this isn't a milestone topic

 

So as my eldest was getting ready for bed I went in to check on her homework and give her a kiss goodnight but I noticed she was visibly upset and crying and I asked her what was wrong she was reluctance to tell me but she eventually got it out....

 

Her best friend since 2nd grade and who is only 12 years old is Pregnant the girl is barely 12 her birthday was only 2 months ago she had a Disney themed birthday party with Bell & Cinderella and a Magician as entertainment, I just took them shopping last weekend for training bra's

 

Apparently the father is a 15 or 16 year old guy she met at a party and doesn't even know his full name or phone number just knows his first name and the kid told her she couldn't get pregnant your first time because he didn't want to wear the condom she asked him to wear so he convinced her that it was impossible for her to get pregnant the very first time.

 

This girl comes from a faux rigid religious family they're religious when it suits their needs one week they are religious and and living the Christian Life and then the next week they were Carefree and let their kids do whatever they wanted including letting their 12 year old daughter go with her 17 year old sister to a College Frat Party when her parents found out she was pregnant they told her that an abortion was out of the question so they are forcing her to carry the baby to term because they decided to suddenly get religious.

 

This girl is unbelievably smart, I mean Straight A, Honor Roll with a 4.0 grade point average and is taking honors classes which teach material taught in grade 11 and 12.

 

I will never say this to her but her life is now ruined, Unless she gives up the child for adoption (which i doubt the parents will allow/do) or her parents are super helpful such as waiting the child while she attends classes and during the evening when she's doing her schoolwork and taking care of the 2am feedings and 4am diaper changes so she can get enough rest for school.

 

When I was 13 a girl in our class got pregnant and carried the baby to term and kept the baby as well, Her mom who was a single mother/grandmother paid for a babysitter so her daughter could go to school just like my daughter friend she was Straight A, Honor Roll 4.0GPA.

 

She stayed with us though 8th grade and into 9th grade but by our second semester after Christmas Break she didn't come back to school because she wasn't able to complete her school work and was up all night with the baby it eventually told a toll on her and she missed more and more school until she eventually dropped out.

 

I am glad I had The Talk being a dad and trying to have the sex talk with my daughter when she got her period it started out rough as we were both blushing as I gave her a book for her to read about what to expect in the next few years and we had a frank and open conversation I let her ask all the questions she wanted and I answered them no matter how much it made me blush telling her this stuff and I made a point when it came to the topic of pregnancy that YES you can get pregnant your first time, NO you can't get pregnant from a toilet seat or towel and YES a 12 year old boy can get a girl pregnant and NO jumping up and down afterwards doesn't prevent pregnancy.

 

I'm just hoping and praying that I hired her with good ethics and morals and gave her strong enough confident and willpower to say NO not IF but WHEN she gets pressured into having sex especially by the high school boys when she goes to the high school next year and I hope she trust me enough to come to me with any issues If i can get though going down aisle E-5 and buy her pads and teach her how to shave her legs I can handle any issue she can throw at me.

 

After she told me about her friend there wasn't much I could say or even attempt to say to her to make her feel better and she told me she really didn't want to talk about it right now, So I tucked her into bed gave her a kiss and turned out her lights and closed her door and once I closed them I started to freak out because I have NO EARTHLY IDEA on what I am going to say when we eventually sit down and have The Conversation we're ultimately going to have....

 

I know this is an odd place to ask this but tbh, This is the only forum I'm a part of and don't have any lady friends in real life to bug about this with so any advice would be helpful.

 

Please leave any snide comments and distasteful jokes or remarks to yourself

Edited December 5, 2017 by Ai®aCob®a

[Sombra]

pull out game weak

 

also call the f*cking police

[Coin]

I don't know what milestone you are celebrating but congrats.

[Emo_Amz]

Always the smart ones with f*ck all common sense. Madness. Life has a tendancy of moving on either way.

[ṼirulenⱦEqừinox]

As for calling the Police there is nothing I can do, Her parents have to make the call which I doubt they would do knowing them next week they'll be celebrating becoming grandparents and going crib shopping, Her parents are why she spent so much time over at my house hanging out with my daughter they are morally bad people and even then the likelihood of anything happening is slim because the father may only be 15 and there is no law aginst two minors under the age of consent from having sex and second she doesn't know the boy name, his phone number, where he lives, what school he goes too nothing she only knows him as Justin.

 

Once the school finds out they will inform social services so hopefully they'll be able to help her and help track down the father

[Sombra]

[ṼirulenⱦEqừinox]

Did you inform her parents?

 

 

when her parents found out she was pregnant they told her that an abortion was out of the question so they are forcing her to carry the baby to term because they decided to suddenly get religious.

[Rewas]

[Algonquin Assassin]

I’m no parent, but this sounds pretty heart breaking. Sounds like you’ve done the right thing. Hope it works out and she can still enjoy her youth.

[DedetOS1]

bullsh*t

[Matrelith]

 

 

Damn son, sounds rough.

[Smith John]

Please leave any snide comments and distasteful jokes or remarks to yourself

Well that was clearly optimistic

[chronic lumbago]

That guy who did it is such a douche. He took advantage of a kid to the fullest. Jesus christ. He knew very well what he's doing.

 

Good luck talking about it. There really isn't much else to say.

Edited December 5, 2017 by fashion

[Sombra]

 

[Nico]

I've heard of worse cases over here, where literally nobody has such thing as sexual education, and the kids laugh when the word "penis" is brought by a teacher.

 

Also, religion just f*cking sucks.

[Mr. Scratch]

She could get an abortion, depending on whether your state allows it without parental consent.

[Star-Lord]

 

Did you inform her parents?

 

 

when her parents found out she was pregnant they told her that an abortion was out of the question so they are forcing her to carry the baby to term because they decided to suddenly get religious.

 

That is truly sad, forcing her into early adulthood and motherhood before she is physically and mentally mature. They should force marriage in cases like these, make the boy responsible for his actions.

[Emo_Amz]

They should force marriage in cases like these, make the boy responsible for his actions.

You know marriage can be undone quite easily right? XD

[turbocharger]

This would have been so much easier to read have you used commas. That's a nightmare btw, wouldn't want to be in that kid's/her parents' skin.

[sreyazsec]

 

 

Did you inform her parents?

 

 

when her parents found out she was pregnant they told her that an abortion was out of the question so they are forcing her to carry the baby to term because they decided to suddenly get religious.

 

That is truly sad, forcing her into early adulthood and motherhood before she is physically and mentally mature. They should force marriage in cases like these, make the boy responsible for his actions.

 

 

Forcing her to marry an irresponsible young boy probably won't do her well in the long run.

[Sombra]

 

 

Did you inform her parents?

 

 

when her parents found out she was pregnant they told her that an abortion was out of the question so they are forcing her to carry the baby to term because they decided to suddenly get religious.

 

That is truly sad, forcing her into early adulthood and motherhood before she is physically and mentally mature. They should force marriage in cases like these, make the boy responsible for his actions.

 

 

i don't really see forcing a 12 year old into a f*cking marriage being a valid solution

[Star-Lord]

 

They should force marriage in cases like these, make the boy responsible for his actions.

You know marriage can be undone quite easily right? XD

 

Don't know how it's handle in other countries, but here in the US, it's up to the state's Child Protective Service. So I really don't know how that works.

[No Use For A Name]

As for calling the Police there is nothing I can do, Her parents have to make the call which I doubt they would do knowing them

This isnt true, the state will usually press charges regardless of whether or not the parents want to. This isnt a stolen bicycle, its rape.

[feckyerlife]

her life is ruined, my sister had her kid when she was 17, now shes 27 and trying to relive her young adult life, which never works out. When my sister got pregnant at 16 all her friends told her to have the baby, they were there everyday for her until the baby came out, havent seen any of them since.

[Star-Lord]

 

 

 

Did you inform her parents?

 

 

when her parents found out she was pregnant they told her that an abortion was out of the question so they are forcing her to carry the baby to term because they decided to suddenly get religious.

 

That is truly sad, forcing her into early adulthood and motherhood before she is physically and mentally mature. They should force marriage in cases like these, make the boy responsible for his actions.

 

 

i don't really see forcing a 12 year old into a f*cking marriage being a valid solution

 

Then what would you do as a caring parent, consider a valid solution?

[make total destroy]

this is the most tactless milestone thread i've ever seen

[Sombra]

 

 

 

 

Did you inform her parents?

 

 

when her parents found out she was pregnant they told her that an abortion was out of the question so they are forcing her to carry the baby to term because they decided to suddenly get religious.

 

That is truly sad, forcing her into early adulthood and motherhood before she is physically and mentally mature. They should force marriage in cases like these, make the boy responsible for his actions.

 

 

i don't really see forcing a 12 year old into a f*cking marriage being a valid solution

 

Then what would you do as a caring parent, consider a valid solution?

 

 

 

not forcing my child into marriage with their own rapist would be a good start

Edited December 5, 2017 by Blaze

[Craigsters]

Fashion magazines and celebrity's are putting pressure on today's teens to look more mature then they are, and they end up dressing like there going to a rave or dance club when going to school, clothes to tight or to small and short and make up that makes them look five or ten years older then they look.

 

Media and parents not taken better care of there kids is to blame too.

Edited December 5, 2017 by Craigsters

[ciel]

that's rough, I hope someone takes legal action against that little sh*t. forcing her into marriage aswell as keeping the baby? that's insane. since she's a minor does she have a say in adoption? abortion or giving putting it up for adoption, she's going to be affected by either choice she makes.

 

todays generation of kids are always in a rush to grow up, kids should just be kids. crazy.

Edited December 5, 2017 by xxi

[Star-Lord]

 

 

 

 

 

Did you inform her parents?

 

 

when her parents found out she was pregnant they told her that an abortion was out of the question so they are forcing her to carry the baby to term because they decided to suddenly get religious.

 

That is truly sad, forcing her into early adulthood and motherhood before she is physically and mentally mature. They should force marriage in cases like these, make the boy responsible for his actions.

 

 

i don't really see forcing a 12 year old into a f*cking marriage being a valid solution

 

Then what would you do as a caring parent, consider a valid solution?

 

 

 

not forcing my child into marriage with their own rapist would be a good start

 

No where in the OP does it say "Rape" even so...

If two minors have sex with each other, they are both guilty of engaging in unlawful sex with the other person. Where in the US not their parents but the state takes action where it could lead to marriage or imprisonment for up to 25 years. Yes, sex violations, child support are super strict here.

I assume mutual consent at best. A marriage entitles her to her well self-being and for her unborn child. She'll need all the loving, financial support she can get from family as well as the father of the child. Plus she'll get state benefits, housing among other resources while pregnant.