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buff magik

What's your Warstock description for the P-996 Lazer?

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buff magik

Submit your own Warstock description for the P-996 Lazer fighter jet...

 

--------- --------- ------

 

Going through a gender transition? This aircraft is more of a man than you will ever be. Concerned about your reputation? Well don't be, no one here gets out alive. And do you know what it means to feel like God? Then look no further than the P-996 Lazer fighter jet. Blood will rush, your knees will buckle, and prolapse will increase by over 14,000%. City-wide genocide is truly inevitable.

 

Please note: This aircraft is excluded from Pegasus Lifestyle Management and must be stored in a personal hangar. Also note: Prolapse cannot be solved by calling Lester or eating snacks.

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whywontyoulisten

Ok.

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The Wandering Hunter

pointless and overpriced. buy the hydra.

excluded from PLM for added f*ck you.

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polaris23

Buyers beware: the production model of this vehicle only allows for respray customization.

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Gaffa

You're about to buy an explosive cannon and a paintjob for $6.5 million. How many screws do you have loose up there to consider this? This will finish any job you can't. Or maybe it won't.

 

or

Money doesn't buy happiness, right? Especially when you've got something with 'vanilla' in it, and who likes that these days? Well I suppose there can always be a first for everything.

Edited by Gaffa™

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Prince_Polaris

holy f*ck stop with the anal prolapse stuff this is getting weird

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Alvarez

Well, it's a modern fighter jet. What did you expect? This pinnacle of modern defense budget dispersion is now freely available for everyone with the necessary funds and taste bad enough to paint it pink chrome to go under in a fireball in the skies.

P-996 Lazer. You deserve this.

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The Wandering Hunter

2 explosive rounds and you're toast. happy flying.

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Shadowfennekin

"Should have been purchaseable back in 2013, now pay triple the cost of its worth and not even get it as a Pegasus vehicle!

Chrome paint and dollar rims sold separately."

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Gaffa

"Should have been purchaseable back in 2013, now pay triple the cost of its worth and not even get it as a Pegasus vehicle!

Chrome paint and dollar rims sold separately."

 

I think it is a Pegasus Vehicle though.

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delorianlazarus

Thanks!

R*

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Pedinhuh

"Look at this thing, what do you see? What it installs on you? Fear? Intrigue? Trauma?...Arousal?

 

Whatever it is, this thing has started its first flight in the 70's and still manages to get the job done and ruin anybody else's fun...But their ruin is YOUR fun, so what are you waiting for? Open up your wallet, let it bleed a little, so you can live a little longer than the poor bastard in the cross hairs of your rapid-fire explosive cannons"

Edited by Pedinhuh

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Jammsbro

Think the Hydra is an unstable piece of paper that a small gust of wind can blow of course? Sick of having your Hydra crumple to dust every time you graze a leaf? Buy the new Lazer.

 

At only twice the price you can have a slightly different aircraft than the one you already paid millions for.

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StangOne50

Would die if I just saw this gif next to a pic of the Lazer

AN51POI.gif

Edited by StangOne50

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DrSweatySphincter

...still cant believe this sh*t is happening

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_47_

Only the self absorbant rich would throw away 6 million for an overpriced underperforming paper thin military jet. COUNT ME IN! :happy:

 

It may only take 2 explosive sniper shots. Hey, you win some and you lose some but it will be damn fine being able to spawn this thing anywhere on the map.

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RyuNova

Remember when the most expensive thing you had to worry about what The Adder? So do we, thats why we have taken an icon from that era, jacked the price up and added nothing else. 'MERICA, f*ck YEA!

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Jammsbro

With the price of these f*cking planes I am actually starting to root for griefers. These clowns paid a fortune to grief. LET THEM GRIEF!!!!

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P34NUTZ

"That's right, we're recycling a vehicle that was already available in the game for free and slapping a $6million pricetag on it. That's how little we care about you and this game. CHA-CHING!"

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xwinkx_girlYakuza

“I don’t always buy jets, but when I do, I prefer P 996 Lazer,” and “Stay frosty, my friends.”

Edited by xwinkx_girlYakuza

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MechanicMammal

Here is my description.

"Are you to lazy to go outside your hanger to borrow one? Do fancy a 6.5 million pound paint job? Do you enjoy being shot down by single prop aircraft?

If the answer is yes then your in luck! you can now purchase the oldest military Jet in the game 3 years after you first stole one."

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elfoam

The once scourge of GTA online now available to paint for the bargain price of 80 USD !. (But soon to be redundant when we release the P45)

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Elektra

"Buy it or die" 😈

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BLACK DYNAM1TE

Too little. Too late.

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EkaSwede

"Buy it. If you're one of the players who make the "because the game told me to" excuse whenever you blow up someone's sell mission, you have to buy it. Because we told you to. And you can't think for yourself. Buy it. You can paint it in chrooooooome."

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SaveTheZombies

The epitome of a government jobs program, nobody's military will take them any more but our government still spends millions having them made. Now instead of letting them sit in the middle of the desert unused, you can have one for the 'reasonable' price of $8mil. C'mon, your taxes alone can't pay for our military spending.

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Piro

"If you can afford to buy this thing then you clearly have more money then you should have... We are also happy to inform you that we will be adjusting your account soon enough.
Have fun with those paintjobs in the meantime."

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CVF Autos

Submit your own Warstock description for the P-996 Lazer fighter jet...

 

--------- --------- ------

 

Going through a gender transition? This aircraft is more of a man than you will ever be. Concerned about your reputation? Well don't be, no one here gets out alive. And do you know what it means to feel like God? Then look no further than the P-996 Lazer fighter jet. Blood will rush, your knees will buckle, and prolapse will increase by over 14,000%. City-wide genocide is truly inevitable.

 

Please note: This aircraft is excluded from Pegasus Lifestyle Management and must be stored in a personal hangar. Also note: Prolapse cannot be solved by calling Lester or eating snacks.

Did you expect accuracy and strength?If yes,then you wont get accurracy,but you will get the millitary look that serves up intimidation with the brawn in form of reckless rocket firing. start your own reign of terror or end one -Warstock Cache & Carry

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Arrows to Athens

 

"Should have been purchaseable back in 2013, now pay triple the cost of its worth and not even get it as a Pegasus vehicle!

Chrome paint and dollar rims sold separately."

 

I think it is a Pegasus Vehicle though.

 

It is a PA.

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PNutterSammich

"For the poser who has everything. Here's another thing."

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