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Rockstargames32490

What do you think works? Being Nice to People or Being Rude?

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Motherstep

It's tricky because you're being paid to provide a service, and everybody has a different idea of what service entails. Not only that, but there's a way to go about everything. I couldn't tell you the amount of times I've asked somebody working in retail if they have a rubbish bin I could use to put my coffee cup in. I'm always polite, because in the back of my mind I assume they're not obligated to help me with that. I speak like they'd be doing me a favour, because they're doing exactly that. I don't throw my weight around and assume it's their birthright to take my scraps and be thankful for it. If they say no for whatever reason, I thank them anyway and move on. You don't know the reasoning behind anybody's decision unless you're told.

 

You get far further by being polite at first. You'd be surprised what people will do for you if you act nice, even when you're not in the mood. That's not limited to just retail either.

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Motherstep

Those who like to deliberately annoy and take advantage of other's decency, I think it's really not a great idea of being polite with them.

 

That's something I forgot to mention. Some people are just deliberately antagonistic. They feed on control and often enjoy belittling others so they feel superior somehow. These are people that are lacking something in life that dissatisfies them. They should be pitied. You can spot them a mile off, especially if you're in a job where you are interacting with the public regularly. Sometimes you'll get them over the phone or via email too. You can't avoid these situations and you certainly can't win in any moral sense. You seldom walk away feeling good about it, but sometimes it is best to roll with the punches and just go about your day as best you can. You won't change these people, and they certainly aren't a reflection on what all people are like.

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Tokasmoka

OP I'd look for a new job. I worked at a Gas Station once, not only is it very hazardous to your health(even if it isn't full serve), but a Gas Station attendant is on par with burger flipper in terms of how people/customers interact with you. I would have people pull up to the pumps, honk at me and get me to go buy them there smokes as if this was some sort of drive-thru. I've been held up by a crackhead wielding an x-actol knife, yelled at(because I am solely to blame for the price of gas in N. America), and so on. It didn't matter how polite I was, I was making minimum wage and for some reason people think that's an excuse to treat you like garbage. "I make more money in a month than you do in a year" People are honestly like that and it's sickening.

 

To answer your question, yes it is better to be polite. But sometimes you got to look around and ask yourself how can I better my situation. Good Luck!

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DarkSavageDeathlyCloud

I honestly am only nice to people who i feel do not deserve it when i need something for them and they thus have some power over me.

 

Besides that, i generally these days just say what is on my mind, even in real life :p

 

Though honestly, i kinda feel that whenever i am like at someones house for an example, i should threat that place with the utmost respect and they pretty much deserve more respect then like, you would give that person then if he would be just be outside in public kinda.

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Panashe M. Sinclaire

Whether being nice or rude works, for me, all depends on the person, place, time, and mood. I, by nature, am not a social person. I can write posts for days, but I do not chat with anyone. So when I pass by people, some of them say "hi, good morning, how are you doing?"

 

But some, like me, don't say anything. I am only nice to people as long as they are nice themselves. I sense what kind of people people are by how they act around the those that shepherd them. I study how they change around specific people, what words, tone of voice, emotion they use, etc. Normal people judge. I analyze. 

 

So if you treat a complete stranger like your spiritual brother/sister, you deserve as much kindness as you show it. You are a gem in this world full of sh*t nuggets. 

 

At the end of the day, I decide who deserves my kindness and who deserves my cold shoulder. Those few that keep me know that I'll do whatever for them so long as they respect and value me as not only a friend, but a person too. But don't take that kindness for advantage. 

 

I'll happily kick your ass here from Monday to Saturday, but not Sunday. Sunday is when I bake cookies with my grandma.

 

But that side of me, the aggressive one, is the one I have to keep on standby because uneducated sh*t-for-brains have the nerve to despise niceness and root for negativity. One day I was walking down the side walk behind this ghetto black girl ( yes, there's a difference between ghetto black people and black people) and she was talking to some lowlife and the conversation went like this. 

 

"Who friendly? I ain't friendly. I ain't friendly with nobody. You friendly."

 

What's wrong with being friendly? f*ck if I know, but according to her and the rest of the ass backwards people I've witnessed talk about this stupid ass standard, it's a bad thing to be. These people wouldn't last anywhere else except behind a grill. Flipping krabby patties for $7 and 25¢ an hour. So I don't treat them with niceness because people like them teach themselves and others to not be friendly or positive, or nice. 

 

If I sense that a person like that or worse than that, then he or she has lost my generosity and I show abhorrence. Never been one to tell anyone how I feel about them (to their face), but I'll sure as hell show you. 

 

So in short, my niceness is well reserved for those I deem worthy. My abhorrence is kept on standby for those who are the scum of the earth, some how managing to keep breathing despite being the stuck up asshole they clearly cannot see in the mirror.

 

At least when I'm an asshole, it's for a good reason. 

 

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Guest

^ Always try to be nice and kind, regardless. It will always make a difference, maybe not to "the others", maybe particularly not to those who "despise niceness", but for you, Alexander. You should show that you are better like this, not let your behavior dictate by the behavior of others, or you will never take charge over your own story, but live other people's narrative.

Edited by Guest

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FearThoseWhoFearHim

Not nice or rude, just indifferent.

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Billy Russo

Being nice.

 

I don't believe in karma or any of that sh*t, but just generally being nice to people makes you feel positive/good and also makes that other person feel good (even if they don't deserve it).

 

I guess you could be an asshole and rude, but it's less likely people will be as willing to help you out in the future. Although, you do have to learn when to say "No." too. There is a lot of people who try to take advantage of people who are too nice.

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universetwisters

It's nice to be important but it's more important to be nice.

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ProKiller93

it depends on the person

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Pocket Fox

It really costs nothing to be nice and you'll never know when tables might get turned.

You shouldn't be overly polite to anyone who is excessively rude, there's being polite and then there's being a punching bag.

 

But don't go losing your cool and being rude when you encounter some people who are rough.

Little example, I was waiting on results last semester and both my lecturers were late in getting them out. I asked politely in emails for details, and when I received the results (AFTER a deadline) I thanked them for the reply, and said how I liked their subject.

I changed degree, big mistake I hated it, so changed to Post-Grad studies. The lecturers who were late with my results are exactly whom I had to see for their approval as deadline to change course ended 2 weeks ago and I also lacked the prerequisite.

The lecturers remembered how I was polite in classes, tutorials, always engaged in discussion and that I was professional and understanding when they release my results late, which had put me in a difficult situation.

The clerks at the University were very much so against me transfering to post-graduate, but the 2 academic lecturers campaigned on my behalf and shut them down and fast-tracked me through.

 

If I had blown a fuse and let my hispanic hot-blood get the better of me when my results were late, I would have written strongly worded emails, complained, and been yet another demanding student. In that situation these lecturers probably would have sided with the clerical staff and very quickly dismissed my desire to enter post-graduate with 'does not meet the requirement'. Instead they actively made sure I could enroll and waived a prerequisite because I had been a diligent and polite student in their classes.

 

And when I dealt with the clerical staff who were annoyed I was making them do more work, I was polite and well mannered, even when they insulted me through veiled criticism. I was polite, and explained this complication was in indirect result of getting my results late that I was unable to get the info I needed so I rushed into a course, and later regretted it. A few days later when I was able to successfully transfer in full, they waived a small administration fee that I would have had to normally pay.

 

Again, had I been talking down to them, clicking my fingers saying its all their fault for delaying my results... I'd be paying that fee.

 

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Mister Pinkerton

I agree with Craig on being smart as well as Jonzesizzle. 

 

In my opinion, your interaction sounded passive aggressive. You should always maintain the upper higher moral ground by being nice and courteous. Really. Most people aren't like that all the time. They could be having the worst day ever and you caught them at a low moment. It's not an excuse for their behaviour but I bet a lot of them will regret how they may have acted or what they said once they've shaken off whatever mood they are in. And some people are just plain assholes. But, taking up a default stance of always being polite and courteous is just about not taking it personally. You are representing the business. 

 

That's not to stay you can't set boundaries. As said earlier, if a customer becomes abusive or is using foul language towards you, then I would shut that down immediately. Warn them once. If they comply, remove from the store. You're not being paid to take abuse. 

 

I've worked in customer service for global brands, mostly on the phone but have some face to face experience too. I was very good at de-escalating situations where customers were irate. Most people just want to vent. If you listen, empathize by trying to relate back to your own experience similar to a customer, they'll immediately cool off. Most people want to experience another human in those situations not a "have a nice day" robot. 

 

On the subject of "have a nice day" it seems like the phoniest phrase. I don't know if I've ever heard in a genuine way. I know it's an American customer service thing but it often sounds contrived. Its like an obligatory customer service thing with no personality. I'd rather deal customer service who is polite but speaks in their own tongue. Not saying it's bad every time. It's kind of a difficult phrase to avoid but often times I think it's just an easy old reliable that folks rely on it too much to the point it becomes meaningless. 

Edited by Mister Pink

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Mr. Scratch

I strive to maintain a balance between Malcolm Tucker and Jared Dunn.

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FukNRekd

When you're in customer service the customer is always right. That's why I'm not in customer service; because customers, in general, are assholes.

 

In your case, unless there was a trash can literally right next to them, you should have happily thrown them away for the poor ladies. If there WAS a trash can right next to them you should have, wait for it... thrown them away for the poor ladies. It's your job. Customer service.

 

You're lucky you didn't get fired for being a douche to customers.

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sivispacem
2 hours ago, FukNRekd said:

When you're in customer service the customer is always right. 

This mantra gets echoed a lot; I can only assume it's pretty much solely an Americanism these days because it's been pretty much abandoned here.

 

You still get the odd elderly or twattish person asserting they're right but it seems to be much rarer- or at least is in places I frequent.

 

IMHO pretending you know more about a product than people who work for the company that makes it generally marks you out as a c*nt.

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FukNRekd
8 minutes ago, sivispacem said:

This mantra gets echoed a lot; I can only assume it's pretty much solely an Americanism these days because it's been pretty much abandoned here.

 

You still get the odd elderly or twattish person asserting they're right but it seems to be much rarer- or at least is in places I frequent.

Then yes, I would imagine it's mostly an Americanism thing.

 

Quote

IMHO pretending you know more about a product than people who work for the company that makes it generally marks you out as a c*nt.

 

You'd be surprised how often companies here hire idiots in order to save money and then put them in a position where they have to knowledgeably represent the company and/or it's product. It's painfully obvious they sometimes many times often, usually have to read from a script to a) solve your problem or b) explain a function/process/application about the product.

 

/e BTW, my initial reply was selfishly assuming the OP was in the US.

Edited by FukNRekd

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trip

I was a professional ass kisser for nearly 9 years through the 80's when I worked in a boutique'esq place for the overly wealthys' pet needs.  I'm not kidding.  I was even sent to an overly crazy suit tailor for the ultra rich to be trained in ass kissing.  If a customer came into our shop and wanted a sandwich - I'd (or another ass kisser) would run over to WaWa(convenient store that also makes sandwiches) and get them a sandwich.

 

The customer is always right.

 

The cranky old customers that you can't win with no matter what are called "crusts".  There is nothing you can do about them.  Smile and be nice and it's surprising how sometimes things/attitudes/feelings change.

 

 

My answer to the question is be nice to people.  That has worked for me all through my years in retail and seems to work in my weird executive years.

 

 

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Doctor Holliday

Silly question.

The world isn't black and white.

 

Be nice to people who deserve it.

Be rude to people who deserve it.

???

Profit.

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No Use For A Name

I always tell people “have the day you deserve.” I think that covers all ends of the spectrum, from kind to douche. 

 

And pay no attention to anything lottery players say or do. They’re societal scum. 

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Bloodytears1666
On 9/13/2017 at 7:43 AM, Gnocchi Flip Flops said:

You're getting paid. End of story.

Better it be certain in contract for what. No joke. If clearing store is a part of your charge - do it, you've been agreed for this. Being anything, but doing more or less of your job is not a professional.

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AiraCobra

Sadly I've seen more rude people get their way than nice people because they simply just want to get rid of the person so they just do what the person wants.

 

I've seen the same incident happen twice on separate occasions but the same situation, One with a rude lady and a nice lady.

 

Nice lady - She asked if she could use a 20% off coupon that expired just 48 hours prior the cashier politely told the woman that she couldn't accept the coupon, The lady just put the coupon back in her purse and went on her way.

 

Rude lady - As the cashier is ringing up her items the rude lady says in a rather rude manner, I HAVE A 20% OFF COUPON AND YOU ARE GOING TO ACCEPT IT, The cashier was nice about it and said she can ring up the coupon once she had her total at the end the cashier gives the woman her total and the woman tosses the coupon  not hands or sets it down but actually throws it at the cashier) The cashier does manager to catch it and tries to scan it but the computer beeps telling her that the coupon had since expired and she can not accept it so she tells the woman who in turns start yelling telling the cashier to override the computer and input the coupon manually and that she spends sooooo much money at the store she should have a permanent 20% discount.

 

After more yelling the manager wanders over to find out what's going on and the cashier explains the coupon is expired so he tells the woman the coupon can't be used so the woman starts yelling again and they go back and forth for 10 minutes before the manager finally just says "Fine, I will give you this 20% discount JUST THIS ONCE) the woman turns to the rest of us in line and just smiles like she won the lotto or something.

 

That was the worse thing the manager could've done because now she knows the manager is a pushover and will do it if she makes a big enough fuss.

 

On 9/10/2017 at 3:50 PM, Blaze said:

the customer is always right is probably one of the worst mindsets to exist

NotAlwaysRight.com

Edited by AiraCobra

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Der Süden

From your post I read that there was no "please" or "could you please". If that's the case then you did the right thing IMO. 

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Vanzant

Most gas station attendants / Cashiers usually asks the customer if they want to keep the losing tickets or not. If not they toss them. Mostly because with powerball / mega millions tickets people do like to reuse the numbers and scratch off tickets often have options on the back to try making more money on the website.

 

Also, I kept my Ghostbusters lottery scratch off tickets. I'll sell them as collectors items in 20 years.

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FearThoseWhoFearHim

I was working in a factory and was a hell of stress, 20 hours inside is something was hard to deal with it, even if they are my friends, sometimes I need to be rude and push my senses away, is hard to be nice with just a couple hours to sleep, poor salary and a jerk as boss.

Edited by MyNameHere

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-Foster-

These are all relative concepts. You need to act on the basis of the situation or personal preferences.

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HeavyDuke

Simple, be you. Just stay out of the stupid/psychotic/don't be a clown, boring or obnoxious. If you can't be normal just get in a box in the basement and let someone pour concrete to seal you away.

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Short Stay
Posted (edited)
Please delete me, let me go,
For I don't love you anymore.
To live a lie would be a sin.
Delete me and let me love again.
 
Edited by Short Stay

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darthYENIK

I’m always super nice to customers.  The nice ones appreciate it, and the assholes hate it because I’m not stooping to their level.

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ThatKyloRenGuy

As many have already stated in this thread, be nice to those who are nice to you but those who are excessively rude don’t deserve your respect as they blatantly haven’t shown any respect for you.

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Chamberpotcleanerman20

You were right. I can't stand entitled people, either.

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