Mini-Gun Posted March 12, 2003 Share Posted March 12, 2003 Vice City - The Job II The year in 1989 , its been almost 3 years since Tommy Vercetti has killed his former boss Sonny Forelli in a bloody gun battle at his luxury mansion on the affluent island of Starfish Island in the tropical paradise of Vice City , Florida. Since then he has established himself as the main man of Vice City. Owning many legal fronts around town including the #1 nightspot "The Malibu" , car dealerships , strip clubs and other businesses. Not many rival crimelords challenge Tommy because of his massive wealth and loyal private militia. And even still Tommy is acquainted with most of the big criminals in town including alleged Cuban leader Umberto Robina , property mogul Avery Carrington (intelligence on the man alledges he is also a member of Vercetti's crime empire) and dangerous biker Mitch Baker. All have been in contact with Vercetti before and all are known to have been running with Mr. Vercetti. Vercetti's lawyer Ken Rosenberg is also well-known as Vercettis' right-hand man in dealings both financial and criminal. Rosenberg is known in the criminal fraternity as always having an ear to the ground. But after a phone call from local middle-man Kent Paul has got the cogs of the Vercetti empire turning once again for the first time since 1986. In the phone conversation Kent told Tommy that he was drinking in a local watering-hole and got talking to one of the Hispanic aerospace workers about the heightened security around Escobar International recently. When asked what it was for the worker said he couldn't say , very hush hush , but maybe a few notes could make him talk more freely. Apparently according to the worker there is a cool $6.5 million been flown into Escobar from the government to help the new Mayor Alex Shrub to eradicate the crime that has gripped Vice City. The money will be used to increase numbers of police , train new recruits , purchase new vehicles and to build 2 new police departments to augment the 4 already there. It is been flown in on the 28th of July in an early morning flight from Washington's Dulles Airport. The following detailed account explains the heist before and after. And how Tommy Vercetti's syndicate pulled off the biggest heist on the 20th century... - If you like it I will write the first chapter tommorow and the next day. I am off school. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chosen 1 Posted March 12, 2003 Share Posted March 12, 2003 I enjoyed it. But kind of seems like the Movie "knock Around Guys" If you have seen it. Possibly they get the cash and then the city sends it's top men after them? But none the less, a very good peace of writing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Darkel- Posted March 12, 2003 Share Posted March 12, 2003 it is a good story but a pointless topic and a waste of time if you ask me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cortexmelon Posted March 12, 2003 Share Posted March 12, 2003 darkel its not waste of time or pointless hes allowed to post this Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mini-Gun Posted March 12, 2003 Author Share Posted March 12, 2003 I enjoyed it. But kind of seems like the Movie "knock Around Guys" If you have seen it. Possibly they get the cash and then the city sends it's top men after them? But none the less, a very good peace of writing. Never seen the film and the story doesn't pan out like that. it is a good story but a pointless topic and a waste of time if you ask me Meh , I like writing and I like Vice City. Thanks for the input , anyone else? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dajiggaman69 Posted March 12, 2003 Share Posted March 12, 2003 good story whoever discourages u is just dumb im lookin forward to more Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Purple9 Posted March 12, 2003 Share Posted March 12, 2003 Great story, mingun, very imaginitive, dude. it is a good story but a pointless topic and a waste of time if you ask me. With a response like that, darkel, I realy doubt you could come up with any better than MG.... Hope to see the next chapter tommorow! The Precinct - We're upping our standards, so up yours! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mini-Gun Posted March 12, 2003 Author Share Posted March 12, 2003 Excellent. Hmmm , I will start tommorow. You won't see it until Friday sometime. I will edit this thread , not to spam. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chucky Panacamo Posted March 13, 2003 Share Posted March 13, 2003 it is a good story but a pointless topic and a waste of time if you ask me. Well gee slap nuts, if it was so pointless and a waste of your valuable time you spend on the internet of all things ( ) then why did you grace this thread with your appearance by replying, sounds quite hypocritical if you ask me. Back to somewhat intelligent issues... This is a pretty good story, the folks in my RPG write similar things (check it out if you like, in my sig there's a link). You should continue, kinda of expands your imagination as to what might have happenned after Tommy took over as top dog in Vice City. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Angel Posted March 13, 2003 Share Posted March 13, 2003 im right into the story and waiting for more this good stuff man hopefully will look at this post and maybe get a glimps of what a good story mode this could be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ballistic Jello Posted March 13, 2003 Share Posted March 13, 2003 This isn't bad. It seems as if maybe it doesn't have enough of a storyline to carry it much farther than just the robbery of the plane...unless the robbery failed, the Vercetti crime syndicate was weakened and it escalated into a gang war, with an involving storyline... Also, you might want to post this in the general writing section or ask an admin to move it there, or they may take the liberty of doing so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mer cinder Posted March 13, 2003 Share Posted March 13, 2003 jesus christ mark your spoiler man!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SolidCheat Posted March 13, 2003 Share Posted March 13, 2003 mer: what spoiler? Jello boy up there was just giving a semi-obvious outlook on what will happen. Its obvious what will happen, sort of, but from what I can see, MG should be able to provide lots of twists and turns. You have great writing skills, MG. I cant wait to read more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mini-Gun Posted March 13, 2003 Author Share Posted March 13, 2003 Hey thanks everyone for the feedback its very encouraging. Anyway I worked on Chapter 1 today and the second will be tommorow at about 6pm (GMT). Chapter I - Good Morning Vice City The sun rises on the morning of the 21st of July 1989 , a hot damp morning which is normal in the tropical climate of Florida. People on the way to work are already clogging up the main roads desperately trying to get to work and escape the humidity. Welcome to Vice City , hedonistic paradise , hive of criminal activity and soon to be the home of the biggest heist of the 1980's. Local lawyer Ken Rosenberg is just pulling up to his office on Ocean Beach to start another day of paperwork and court visits. A message is waiting on his answering machine which will change history. He leafs through his mail and throws it all in a waste basket denouncing it as "f*cking bills". Then his attention switches to the blinking red light on his answering machine , he looks at the LCD and it says "2 new messages" , the first is a misguided call ordering 2 large pizzas and 2 large sodas. The second is from music producer and general lowlife Kent Paul. Rosenberg sighs as he hears the Cockney slang coming out of his phone "Awight geeza' , I was aught las' night and I was talkin' to some guy who works in the airport. Big sh*t going down I need Tommy's number , I bet he would be intrested in making a bit of nicka'". Rosenberg then dials in Kents cellphone number , its ringing for quite a while before Kent answers in a hungover voice. "Hello" he says half-asleep. "Hey Kent , I just got your message. Can you tell me in plain English what the f*ck you just said?". Kent is slightly puzzled until it clicks about his conversation last night. "Oh yeah I need Tommys number , I got some diamond info on some sh*t going down soon , I think he will be intrested". "Tell me and I will pass on the message , Tommy is a lazy man and won't be up until midday" Ken replies. "Listen get him out of bed and meet me at Well Stacked Pizza in Vice Point , we will talk then". "Fine" Ken replies , "How does 2pm sound? Good?". "Perfect geeza , see you in a few". The phone is put down and Rosenberg is somewhat skeptical about the whole scenario. After some paperwork Rosenberg decides to pick up some lunch and runs over to the Washington Mall for a bite to eat. After which he drives in his modest Admiral to Tommy's plush mansion. Rosenberg brings a Bolognese sub for Tommy's breakfast. Ken gets greeted by Mario (Tommy's bodyguard) and proceeds up the stairs and into Tommys office. Tommy's back is turned looking out onto the Atlantic surronding his home-island. "Whats up Kenny?" he says to his long time friend of convienence. "Not too bad Tommy , here is your breakfast , remember your mama told you it was the most important meal of the day". Tommy looks at the sub which is congiling on his office desk. "You think I am eating that sh*t? For once I wish a place down here could make sauce as good as up home" as he brushes into a bin. "So are you here to feed me or have you got some other business". "Yeah I need you to come and meet up with Kent Paul in Vice Point , he has got some juicy info on something to do with the airport". "Airport?" Tommy replies puzzled. "Yeah he was talking to some worker and some big sh*t is going down he want's you to have a look". "I hate that British prick , are you sure he is right?" Tommy replies with a hiss. "I know , who doesn't hate him but he is our source on the streets and he knows sh*t". "Hmmm , yeah. What time are we meeting?". "2pm at Well Stacked Pizza in Vice Point" Rosenberg replies. "No problemo , I will be there". "Good. Talk to you then Tommy". Rosenberg leaves the office while Tommy leans back in his leather chair pondering what Kent has for him. Its now exactly 1:56pm and the July sun is still baking the denziens on Vice City , many line the beach looking for a tan while others relax in luxury pools and jacuzzis around Starfish Island. Rosenberg is the first to arrive to the pizzeria and orders a tall glass of Coke to relieve his thrist. He feels clamy and agitated in his purple polyester suit as he scratches and tries to move about in it. The air conditioning is slowly cooling him down. After about 2 minutes Tommys white Infernus pulls up and out steps the Godfather of Vice City (who doesn't exactly look the part in a Hawaiian shirt , casual jeans and running shoes). He salutes Ken and joins him at the booth near a window. He raises his hand and orders his usual extra large pepperoni pizza with extra red peppers , he comments that these are the only joints that can make a nice pizza in all of Vice City. While the two are discussing other matters including Tommy's need for money for their weekly shipment of cocaine into the docks , Tommy says he has haggled the Colombian dealer done to a nicer price and that it will be coming in Friday morning at 8am. The usual routine is Tommy meets up with the dealer(s) and the transaction takes place somewhere around the docks , he then brings it to his estate where it is chopped down , sorted and packaged for distribution on the streets. Ken then gives it out to 7-8 dealers on the streets and Ken then takes charge of the incoming money and sorts it out for Tommy in time for the next shipment. Anyone f*cks around or is late , Tommys men come knocking. Tommy collects his pizza from the counter and turns around just to see a sweaty Kent Paul stepping out of a taxi and trying to haggle the Hispanic taxi driver who curses him saying they are fixed prices. Tommy sits back down with Rosenberg and Kent joins them. Tommy cautiously looks around before he allows Kent to speak. "Awight me old muckas' , its f*cking hot today I almost died in that cab on the way over". "Cut the sh*t , whats the story about the airport you want us to hear" Rosenberg snaps back. "We are busy men" Tommy adds. "Ok , ok I was talking to some airport worker last night who is also friends with one of the security guards up there and the security guard spilt the beans in confidence about some plane coming in with a lot of cash on it". "Plane with cash? How can we believe him?" replies Tommy. "Well , you see he knows your history and knows you are a very good undertaker of 'jobs' and was wondering if you are intresting in hearing some more". "Its not going to hurt us Tommy , what do you think?". "I think you should shut up Ken and let me handle things" Tommy replies in a demeaning manner. "Alright can you contact him again?". "Yeah , he gave me his address , he lives in an apartment complex in Little Haiti". "He isn't a Haitian Kent , is he? Because I hate those f***ers" hisses Tommy. "Nah I dunno , I just think he lives there". "Alright this is what we do , you call over to his place and tell him I am intrested. You arrange for him to meet me at the Malibu tonight for some drinks in the private room then we will talk. Make it about 11 or so because I have other business with Phil". "Alright 11 at the Malibu , gotcha" replies Kent. "Alright ladies I shall be off to the beach to work on my tan and pick up some slappers , adios". Kent hails another taxi as it speeds off. "What do you think Ken?". "I think you should meet him and if he f*cks about chop him up and spread him all over the sea". "Nice plan" Tommy sarcastically replies. Rosenberg finishes the meeting with "Well I got to get to the Court House in Downtown , Avery is up for more bribing but he has got over half the jury on his payroll so it won't take long". "Are you meeting up in the Malibu? I will have that coke money too for Friday". "Make sure you have it , see you in the Malibu later". Rosenberg exits the building and hops into his Admiral to head across the northern bridge to the courthouse. Tommy is still eating the huge pizza and really enjoying it. His cell phone rings and Phil is on the other end. "Hey Tommy!" he says in a happy tone. "Whats up Phil?". "Nothing much my friend I just got a hold of some cut price weaponry and was wondering if you were intrested". "Hmmm , I might have something coming up so I will come over and take a look in about half an hour". "Ok , good , I will have a glass of Boomshine ready my friend". Tommy hangs up cringing at the thought of that stuff. He pays for the meal and hops back into his Infernus flicking onto Flash FM where the news tells of a huge raid on warehouse in Ft. Baxter Airbase this morning. Tommy grins smugly as he releases the handbrake and rides off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chosen 1 Posted March 13, 2003 Share Posted March 13, 2003 VERY GOOD!! I enjoyed it! Can't wait to see more Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mini-Gun Posted March 14, 2003 Author Share Posted March 14, 2003 Um , I was busy today so Chapter 2 won't be up till tommorow (Saturday) at about 9pm (GMT). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
B.J. SMITH Posted March 15, 2003 Share Posted March 15, 2003 nice Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Angel Posted March 16, 2003 Share Posted March 16, 2003 man mini-gun nice work its a great story i want to just print it and give it to my friends. other wise good job Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hotring887 Posted March 16, 2003 Share Posted March 16, 2003 Very nice. Hope to read the next chapter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D0HC Posted March 16, 2003 Share Posted March 16, 2003 Dam that's good hope to see more Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mini-Gun Posted March 16, 2003 Author Share Posted March 16, 2003 I have had a hectic weekend so I won't be posting the follow up for a while. Sorry. Sometime during the week or something. Well it is Paddys Day tommorow so I have a lot of drinking to do between now and then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mentor Posted March 16, 2003 Share Posted March 16, 2003 No prob MG... Then we have something to look forward to! Great writing Keep it up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hotring887 Posted March 16, 2003 Share Posted March 16, 2003 I am giving you lots of credit man. Good job. I am aslo making stories in this forum. check em out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bjayo_10 Posted March 17, 2003 Share Posted March 17, 2003 boring Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
niekkari Posted March 17, 2003 Share Posted March 17, 2003 That was good. It could be the a plot to VC 2 if it would be made! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mini-Gun Posted March 17, 2003 Author Share Posted March 17, 2003 boring Maybe you would like to write some VC fiction? No. Then shut your damn mouth. I hate negative people like you. And people I am running low on free time so part II won't be for a while. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WidowMaker Posted March 17, 2003 Share Posted March 17, 2003 boring I would be surprised if you even read it, you are just going from topic to topic making one word replies, to boast your post-count or ego? btw, it's considered spamming to do what you are doing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hotring887 Posted March 18, 2003 Share Posted March 18, 2003 well i can wait as long as i need to to read your next chapter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mini-Gun Posted March 24, 2003 Author Share Posted March 24, 2003 Chapter II : Plans, Plans , Plans Tommy rides over the northern bridge and into Downtown turning left to go to Phil's Place. Phil is a former military member and now runs guns for the many criminals in Vice City. Phil has recovered well from losing his arm in a Boomshine accident 3 years ago. He doesn't need much help and can still handle a gun (well one). Tommy pulls straight into Phils lot and knocks on his trailer door , a grunt is heard from inside and Phil answers the door to Tommy. "Hey Phil , whats up?". "Nothing much Tommy , come in , come in". "I heard the news on the radio on the way over , was that you?". "Well not exactly me" replies Phil. "That guy Lopez' gang got an insider in Fort Baxter and about 3 trucks full of guns n' ammo were being unloaded last night. However the trucks took a detour here" Phil says laughing smugly. "Are you looking for some cannons?". "I am not sure yet , although I certainly have something in the works , things are a bit sketchy at the moment but I might need your firepower" Tommy replies. "No problem I got some M16's , MP5's , Rugers and a beautiful German mini-gun that was destined for an Apache". "Holy sh*t , thats a lot of firepower" Tommy replies. "Yeah , the American army are bulking up in case of those Commie bastards coming back". "Do you want to see the cache? Maybe test fire a few?". "You know me Phil , always got an itchy trigger finger". "Excellent , follow me. I have been dying to test them out" Phil replies excitedly. The two walk to the far side of Phils lot to what looks like a dust patch however after some moving of earth chains appear. "Ready? 1..2..3..PULL!" Phil shouts. Both men yank on the huge chains and a heavy metal panel shuffles from the dirt revealing a mini bunker filled with weapons. "So what first?" Phil asks Tommy. The answer is clear to Phil when he sees Tommy looking at the mini-gun in an almost sexual way. "Beautiful isn't she?". Tommy lifts the 80lb cannon up and Phil loads up the belt of ammo. "I have a burnt out car for target practice out back" Phil says. Without a hint of hesitation Tommy slowly climbs out of the bunker and picks back up the mini-gun , walking very slowly towards the car. "Be careful , that thing can overheat and f*ck up bad". "Its not the first time I have seen and fired one of these momma jomma's" replies Tommy in am arrogant manner. He clutches the top handle and squeezes the trigger the massive machine bursts into action rotating and sending bullets at a rate of 75 per second. The recoil of it has Tommy aching but he keeps a tight grip , he can slowly feel the gun pulling backwards , pulling his arms out of their sockets with the velocity. The car takes 5000 bullets in just over 10 seconds and is literally Swiss Cheese now with thousands of bullet holes riddling it. Phil laughs manically at the sheer power of the gun. "Holy sh*t Tommy , look at that car after that sh*t...HOWWWWWEEE! Thats powerful!". Tommy drops the gun and flexes his tired arms. "That really takes it out of you". They put back the gun in the bunker and Tommy takes an MP5 because Mario lost his in a recent shootout with some Cuban drug smugglers. The two retire to Phil's trailer and both have a small glass of Boomshine. They then reminice mostly about their bank job in '86. "Holy sh*t that was something wasn't it *hic*" says Phil. "Yeah SWAT teams storming the place and us escaping in a Stallion , hilarious". "Poor Hilary though , he thought he was invincible". "Yeah , he was weird though" Tommy slurs. "Yeah , but a helluva driver". "sh*t , don't I know it. I raised the bastard around Ocean Beach with 3 cop cars after me in a Sentinel". "So whats the new plan in the works Tommy boy?" Phil asks inquizetly. "Oh yeah , Kent Paul was talking to some airport worker and apparently a lot of cash is aboard a plane from Washington D.C. , big sh*t going down". "Damn , how much?" Phil quickly replies. "I am not sure , I am meeting the guy tonight to sort out details , are you going out tonight?". "I suppose , where we going?". "Malibu" Tommy replies. "Yeah , I want in on this one". "Are you sure with your one arm?". "Hey , I can handle a gun better than I ever could". "Right , 11pm at the Malibu". "Ok , I'll be there". "Well Phil I gotta go do some sh*t before tonight so remember , 11pm". "Yeah , yeah bye Tommy". Tommy slightly tipsy hops back into his white Infernus and drives out into Little Haiti. Tommy then makes various stops around Little Havana to collect money from local Cuban gangs and then finally for a cup of coffee and a conversation with Umberto Robina in his fathers "Cafe Robina". Tommy is greeted by Umberto at the door with a handshake and a coffee. "Eeeeey , Tommy!". "Hey Umberto , how are you?". "Good , good Tommy and yourself?" Umberto replies. "I am fine just collecting money off your men and decided to make a quick call in here for a cup of coffee , how is business lately". "Bad Tommy , the guys on the street are telling me the Haitians have a new drug lab and are flooding the streets of Vice with cheap , high octane cocaine. Its cutting badly into my profits and yours'. It needs dealing with". "New drug lab? Do you know the whereabouts? And how long its been up?". "Things are sketchy at the moment Thomas but my men are tailing various head honchos around too get some info". "Sounds tricky" Tommy replies. "This needs sorting out , leave it to me" Tommy adds as he finishes his coffee. "Well , what you gonna do?" Umberto asks. "Leave it to me , I will think of something. Its either our drugs on the street or no drugs. I was wondering why our profits have plummeted over the last few weeks". Tommy then stands up says goodbye to the cafe regulars and then whispers to Umberto "I have a plan , I will call back tommorow morning bright and early". Tommy hops back into his Infernus and salutes the Cuban bodyguards standing around the cafe in groups. Everyone knows Tommy's face in Little Havana because of his drug empire and iron grip of the entire of Vice City. Tommy retires back to one of his estates "El Swanko Casa" in Vice Point. He parks his Infernus in the garage and goes to have a shower and get ready for the Malibu. Tommy always needs to look immaculate as he is the owner of the Malibu the hottest night spot in all of Vice City. Mostly the rich and famous appear there and the door staff are extremely difficult. Tommy purchased the Malibu in 86 and uses it mainly for meetings with crime figures or as a HQ instead of the Vercetti estate. The income from the nightclub is also 2nd only to his huge cocaine smuggling/distribution ring. After drying himself off and changing out of his Hawaian shirt and into his "Mr." Vercetti outfit he calls Mario's cellphone and asks to bring the white limo and make sure there are bouncers for the Malibu tonight. Mario is one of Tommy's closest friends , having grown up together in Liberty City and then joining the Mafia and working their way up they are very good friends. Mario's sole purpose is to watch Tommy's back and has been known to carry out beatings and executions of behalf of Mr. Vercetti. He says he will be in Vice Point at about 10:30 to pick him up and that there are 4 bouncers starting at 9pm. Tommy sits back and watches the local news on VCNTV about the new infestation of cheap , high-grade cocaine on the streets of Vice City and he also takes great intrest in a news piece about the VCPD beefing up resources soon , new policemen , more vehicles , more daily spending as promised by Mayor Shrub. Tommy then hears the limo beeping outside and he runs out and joins Mario in the back of the car... Note: Chapter III : At The Malibu will be up on Wednesday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lance_Vance_Dance Posted March 24, 2003 Share Posted March 24, 2003 Remarkable! Absolutely Amazing! I salute you my man your the king of fiction. Keep on writing!!! **LVD Dances Out The Way He Entered** Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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