//SA Elections 2017\\

[wingoose]

OK, which hero held Daniel Crown hostage and tortured him until he voted Democrat?!

[DangerZ0neX]

No one tortured me, I just figured out it would be more convenient having Jason Grey as Governor if he ever wins.

 

How would that be convenient? Well, you all know how undereducated most Americans are. They have the tendency to blame every bad decision the Government has made on a Democratic leader, even though it was entirely the previous Republican leader's fault for making such decisions. It's a tradition as patriotic as apple pie!

 

So, in turn, all the economically terrible choices Cranley has made in the past 4 years will be pinned on poor old Jason Grey, thus making Cranley look clean and trustworthy enough for a presidental campaign even though he was entirely living on the previous Democratic governor's success and economic boom.

 

Yes, I already know I'm a genius, but you may continue to remind me.

Edited February 12, 2017 by DangerZ0neX

[livejoker]

I'm not on any side so I'm voting with no guilt!

If there is a tie we're proposing a SUDDEN DEATH round where each Governor is in a Ruiner 2000, blindfolded, and must kill the other Governor. Tune in this Saturday on CNT if that's the case!

[Solid Scorpion]

My god this is intense! I'm gonna need a sponge down to cool off!

The end is nigh.

Good luck to both candidates!

 

I'll leave it at that and save the emotes for the after party. A single tear may drop from my eye.

[-LN-]

I feel as though both candidates have put forth an outstanding effort in this election; there's a lot of good answers from both sides and I'm not particularly a very political person, but...

 

"I understand there are religious reasons to oppose it, but frankly, religion should really live alongside the rest of society; rather than dominate it. And I say that as someone who's not especially a gambling man - I just think, live and let live, you know? Let the vibes be peaceful." - Steve H. Hunter

 

It's as if you were reading my mind here with your answer; the religious outcries within this state (not only in regards to this issue, but most issues as a whole) drive me absolutely mad and I'm beyond thrilled to see a Republican candidate for once who isn't afraid to stand up to the overly religious influences of their political party. That gives me hope and a renewed sense of faith, for a lack of better words, in what you stand for here.

 

Also...

 

"...the people should not fear the government; if anything, it should be the other way around." - Steve H. Hunter

 

Thank you! I, for one, am sick and tired of these governmental and "authoritative" arseholes instilling their constant sense fear into the minds of the general population. I'm quite pleased to see that you are standing your ground here and will see to it that we are all treated equally and will no longer be subjected to this nonsense. As far as I'm concerned, the less government we have here in San Andreas, the better!

 

You have my vote; please just don't deport me for purchasing my American passport from that guy I met in the back alley of Textile City.

Edited February 13, 2017 by -LN-

[lol232]

In the end of the day, my vote goes to Mr. Hunter.

The only anti-establishment nominee who will drain the swamp.

 

Lyin' Crooked Jason must go down.

[wingoose]

The poll is so tight! I haven't felt tension like this since the beginning of the campaign when Xanadu lined up all the candidates and wanted a volunteer to practice her newly learnt Thai massaging techniques on. *shudder*

[livejoker]

Tight, you say? I can undo those knots in your shoulders and that buckle on your pants.

Is it just me or does she look like Donkey Kong?

 

Edited February 13, 2017 by livejoker

[Goingcrowd9]

Helium-Lithium-Carbon-Oxide-Platinum-Erbium-Sulfor

 

He-Li-C-O-Pt-Er-S, Helicopters !

Or 2-3-6-8-78-68-16 in science...

Or 2+3+6+8+78+68+16=181

=> Helicopters = 181

 

This proves Steve H. Hunter has to win !

Edited February 13, 2017 by Goingcrowd9

[steve dogg 51]

Jesus. Having to decide when actually both candidates are pretty good.

 

Vote is in.

[Khaisz]

*Deep Breath*

 

WELCOME to the San Andreas Election.

I'm Mr. Andersson and I have returned from being kidnapped by Korean Gangster.

 

Now let's not go into why I was kidnapped or who ordered it or who saved me, that's not intresting.

 

Instead let's start with the inspection of answers by our 2 glorious finalists.

Steven Hunter and Jason Gray.

 

Now, first of all we have 12 questions to go through with a deadline soon coming up, so I'm gonna quickly go thru them all in a 2 part episode with day 1-3 in the first and day 4-6 later.

 

Now for question 1, how will our candidates reconnect Los Santos with the world.

Jason seems to want to aim for cheaper flights and find temporarly solutions until we can build bridges to connect with the other citys, and Steven want to build bridges everywhere, Have you looked at a map lately? There is just sea forever, It would be impossible to build a bridge somewhere, We need to aim for Air or Boat travel.

Also you can't build a bridge under water Steven, You build tunnels underwater.

But atleast both Steven and Jason seems to understand that bridges isn't everything and aims to fix both Air Travel and Docks.

 

Now as for Question 2.

The problem with Waste in Water, How will they fix it?

 

Well Jason wants to make harder consequences, but he dosn't go into detail of what these consequences will be.

 

Steven on the other hand wants to work with the companies and make it easier for them to legaly dump their waste somewhere on land and then burn the waste, Now while this will effect global warming, I'd agree with Steven, It would make North Yankton warmer, My home town, Have you ever been there before? It's winter like 8 months a year, With some global warming maybe we can reduce winter to 5 months.

 

I give Round 1 to Steven.

Ohyeah, I will give points to each candidate to sum up who I will vote for.

So right now.

Steven 1

Jason 0

 

Onto Day 2

Mason Turner seems to be another one of these oldies that thinks the phone is the tool of the devil and I disagree with him with every fiber of my phone.

Now luckily me, our candidates seems to agree on this point that removing phones isn't possible, but instead find ways to encourage them to spend time outside their phone.

Jason wants to open up social areas like Bowling alleys where we can go bowling and *pling* Hang on, I just got a tweet, hmm "You are stupid".

Well so are you. *send*

 

anyway, onto Steven, He also want to build places where people can channel their anger instead of using that anger online on their phones and then he mentions bridges again.

I disagree there though, What if they took out their anger on building a bridge and made it sh*t so it later collapse and kills people?

Better let them be angry on the phone so the phone industry makes more money.

 

For the other question of day 2, Both Parties seems to agree on planting a new tree when cutting down a tree to make sure trees don't go away.

So I can't really talk much about question 2 here.

 

Points to Jason.

Steven 1

Jason 1

 

Now for the last 2 question of today.

 

First we have the question on guns, A favorite topic for all our fans here.

Well okay, It's not about guns, but about crime.

And guns are part of crimes, shutup.

 

Jason here wants to get stricter rules on selling guns by having gun stores ask for ID to make sure the person they sell guns to actually exist and is allowed to own guns which is good, He also wants to improve our police force just like what Steven wants.

But Steven on the other hands do not want to take guns from people, and what is the point of making a better police force when they have to face a guy carrying a minigun vs their Submachine Guns or Hand Pistols.

And then Steven once more goes on about wanting to keep people busy by employing them to build stuff.

 

Over at the last question for today.

Steven like expected claims that Global Warming doesn't exist and don't want to cut down on the oil digging for the oil that is about to run out, Atleast he seems to understand that oil is going to run out and just wants to deal with it when it eventually happens instead of what Jason is doing and making a plan for what is about to happen.

Jason here wants to focus on researching and building new cars that drains less gas but still goes just as fast a Turbo-Charged Super American Muscle Car, which is good in my eyes.

 

Points to Jason.

 

So at the end of our first Coverage of the Final.

Jason leads with 2

and Steven is last with 1

 

Stay Tuned for the last 6 questions in about 8 to 16 hours.

Andersson Out for now.

[livejoker]

Your coverage of the events really makes this competition one-of-a-kind, Mr. Andersson. For an undisclosed amount of money, could you, say, for example, make it another kind of coverage? Say, talk about me and how I'm out of work after this is done? I was gonna wait until the old man I was dating would bite the dust and leave me his inheritance but he's handing it all to his poodle! Oh, and give me nice description like "hour glass figure", "the wet dream of every men and women", "if roses farted she would smell like that" type of deal. I got abs that could crack nuts like you wouldn't believe.

*slips a $20 down the waist of your pants*

[Khaisz]

I would love to make a reportage about you dear, but sadly I been corrupted by 6-digit donations from a certain Crown that I won't mention.

Edited February 14, 2017 by Khaisz

[Dustkiller]

I seriously thought this was only a nice funny Hilary/Trump parody

But you really love to take stupidity to another level

[RedDagger]

I seriously thought this was only a nice funny Hilary/Trump parody

But you really love to take stupidity to another level

Please don't talk about yourself like that, I'm sure your parents think otherwise.

[Femme Fatale]

I seriously thought this was only a nice funny Hilary/Trump parody

But you really love to take stupidity to another level

[ShadowPerson]

I seriously thought this was only a nice funny Hilary/Trump parody

But you really love to take stupidity to another level

 

[Happy Hunter]

I seriously thought this was only a nice funny Hilary/Trump parody

But you really love to take stupidity to another level

Mods, take him out of here. Get him out. Get him out. Get out! Get him out of here!

[Solid Scorpion]

I seriously thought this was only a nice funny Hilary/Trump parody

But you really love to take stupidity to another level

This is so much better than a simple parody though.

These guys are being creative setting it within the GTA universe and coming up with original ideas.

In GTA land our right wing politicians would be considered as the far left.

[Khaisz]

Welcome back the Final Election.

This will be the 2nd last time I step up here to talk about this glorious election.

After this, all that is left, Is the the winner.

 

I'm Mr Andersson and this the the SA Elections 2017.

 

Continuing from Round 1.

Jason is leading with 2 to Stevens 1.

 

So let's jump straight into Question number 4.

And we got another question related to building, sigh...

I can't do this, Why do I have to?

_{(Because you are a reporter)}

Right, right.

 

Anyway, Steven responds just as expected about we need more jobs for people to be employed at.

and Jason wants to reduce crime like he mentioned before and in that way will make people want to get back to work and not get shot down by gangmembers having secret weapon trade meetings at the build site.

 

And for the other question, It's seems it's about why woman are treated like inferior to men.

And as a White Man I have to say that I could not read the answers our 2 candidates gave ous since 2 of my Co-Workers and my boss is female and I don't want to get my sh*t kicked out of me.

But I'm Mr Andersson, And I'm a Reporter.

Thankfully though, Both are on the same page about giving woman more oppertunites to do the same work and get paid same and end discrimination, So I can agree with both of them and be safe from a curbstomping.

 

Sadly on the other hand both here seems to be on point, Steven used more words to say basically the same thing that Jason said with the only difference being that Steven wants to create more jobs and Jason wants to reduce crime to create more jobs.

 

Hard to give any points here, Steven was a bit more well spoken though.. so..

Points to Steven.

 

2-2

 

On to the next set of question.

This time we have the lovely Amy vinewood with a question about Military Vehicles being used by wrong people.

Jason sees this as a problem and I agree with him about it, We need to get them reduced, it's hard to be a Reporter when you have to chase down a 50 ton deathmachine.

Steven on the other hand, The man who flew here in an Attack chopper unsurpisingly wants them there and do nothing.

 

sigh....

 

Onwards, Next question is about Gambling Laws in Los Santos.

My person Preference here is that we should ease up on the Gambling and maybe we can get people to stop gambling on streets and start use the Casino that is not open yet.

But that is my opinion, Let's see what our candidates said.

 

Steven wants to open up the Casino to create more jobs and attract people from all over the world to come visit LS, Jason wants to do same thing and ease on the laws a bit and both seems to agree that people need to take it easy with gambling though so that Loan Sharks don't eat them.

 

Easy Point to Jason

 

3-2 to Jason

 

and now for the last set of questions.

We got Andrew and Albert both with questions about business.

 

The first question is about how big companies seems to beable to just dodge the law and taxes and the other is about Cops abusing the Law to go after companies.

Starting with Jason, it seems that he aims to in someway he didn't explain make it so that everyone pays the same amount of tax and then make taxes hopefully lower, as for the other question about cops, He wants to keep the Police force and not reduce or remove it and instead work on removing corruption from it while still having them investigate bussiness that might or might no be legal.

 

Steven also seems to want to cut down taxes, But he also wants to make it harder for people to outsource work from our country and make it so that work instead comes back to our country.

Although on the other hand, when it comes to the Police Force he seems to want to relocate parts of the founds to the military and in the same time ease up for the police so they can focus on Minor Criminals while the Military takes care of the bigger ones like Terrorists or people in unautorized jets trying to dive bomb our town.

 

Point goes to Steven.

 

this puts ous sadly at 3-3 which means that both candidates was exellent at this and I have to find another way to figure out who I will give my vote to..

 

hmm..

 

Well in the end, There is one thing that made the 2 Candidates be different, Well several things.

But one major thing where I agreed more with one side then the other, and that was the gun question and how one side wants to make it more strict and the other do nothing.

 

And as a Reporter.

I don't want to get shot.

I'll give half a point to Jason.

 

Three and Half to Three.

Jason wins in my opinion and will get my vote.

 

This is Mr Andersson.

I will see you one last time later with the victory speech from our winner.

Whoever that will be.

May the votes be with you.

 

See you later.

Edited February 14, 2017 by Khaisz

[livejoker]

I seriously thought this was only a nice funny Hilary/Trump parody

But you really love to take stupidity to another level

We've actually had about two references that were about Trump and one about Hilary, the rest was all original and largely inspired by Sue Murry and Jock Cranley - while both of these characters parodies those you mentioned they're wonderful GTA characters as individuals. I really hope you give the first post a quick read and post your vote in! It's actually good fun when you let immersion seep in.

 

 

 

 

That's now 3 references about Trump.

 

 

 

Alright, now that we've all thrown a punch in let's resume politics! Cause politics never sleep, it just goes lazy. Now the poll will be ending TOMORROW (Wednesday) @ 11:59PM EST. The first post listed it as Wednesday the 14th when it's actually the 15th. My bad, it's fixed. I've had bad sleep for a while.

[rtie]

To all my fellow friends voting the correct decision, communist, I mean Democrat of course. I'll be giving to you; completely free bumper stickers payed for by the taxpayers.

Good job my comrades friends!

Edited February 14, 2017 by Arthur Fookin Shelby

[Mach1bud]

It's close af.

[rtie]

My workhorse better win, I have an education bill bet on this.

[DangerZ0neX]

I hope so too, people are starting to realize Cranley's wrongdoings and I'm running out of scapegoats to pin the blame on!

 

I desperately need these people to stay ignorant by any means necessary. If they still are this stupid a couple of years from now, which will be the case if Jason wins, they'll be the majority vote for Cranley yet again just because they recognize his name.

 

Come on you dimwitted Democrats, you gave us hell when Sue Murry was running against Cranley, why are you lazy all of the sudden?!

[livejoker]

 

Why you voting for some broad? I'm not even in the poll choices.

 

*puts on winning smile*

 

I'm sighing to myself as I'm about to click "Add Reply".

[Switch]

It's a close one, I voted for the most competent leader SA can get .

Edited February 14, 2017 by Switch

[livejoker]

It's so close! Now I feel like closing the polls tonight to keep it a tight race...a full day and a half left. This is gonna be torture for the candidates!

Edited February 14, 2017 by livejoker

[Solid Scorpion]

Holly crap there's literally only one vote in it at this precise time and location!

 

What if it ends up a draw?

Do we do what a democracy does and give the public a second vote or do a select few get pay offs to look the other way while some ballots are lost?

[Nyamber]

Holly crap there's literally only one vote in it at this precise time and location!

 

What if it ends up a draw?

Do we do what a democracy does and give the public a second vote or do a select few get pay offs to look the other way while some ballots are lost?

Put them in a room and let them fight to the death. It's the only way.