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Hello, My Name is <name the NPC above you>, Thread


fw3
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In the spirit of the season, I thought it would be fun for those interested to take out their dusty ol' Snapmatic cameras and capture the essence and blissful joy of those characters in the game who bring us so many gleeful hours of passive aggressive psychotic overreactions and who we've come to accept as an integral, albeit ridiculously infuriating, part of our game experience.

The idea is that I'll start by posting a photo of an NPC, and the next player comes along, names the NPC and provides a brief backstory, and then posts a photo of another NPC, of their choice, for the next player to identify.

I hope this is fun and not tedious, so without further ado, here goes. I'll provide one for example, and then another to start us in.

Enjoy and cheers! :)

Meet Franka. She came to America on a student visa, but dropped out of school and never went back. She loves guys who ride bikes and currently works as a barista at the local Bean Counter while pursuing a career in modeling. She's fun and funny, even though I can't understand anything she says.

(to meet Franka, reveal the spoiler image)


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Edited by fw3
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Yolanthe.She is dutch-origin,her grandparents came from Netherlands in early 1940s.She is known as a "serious" person around,she can easily get angry,if you don't know what you are talking to her.She is married with a doctor and dominating him.Her favorite activity is giving middle finger to people,especially in traffic...

 

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Well, , since nobody has caught onto this one, I'll follow up on yours.

Meet D'Ante Andre, whose been working as a Pegasus Security Specialist for the past 11 months. While the job has it's benefits (long hours, low pay, no room for advancement), D'Ante has bigger dreams to one day perform onstage at the Sisyphus Theater over in Vinewood Hills, hopefully doing Shakespeare or some other classic theater, like Rocky Horror Picture Show. D'Ante is still undergoing treatments, which will hopefully take just a few more months until the procedure is complete.

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slimeball supreme

Meet Chuck Loya, 30 year old Sandwich Artist at the Bite! on Sinner Street, vintage VHS enthusiast, and sufferer of Cynophobia. Born to a Salvadorian mother and a Costa Rican father in Mirror Park, from a young age Chuck had aspirations to get into Vinewood. Whether it was watching classics like Shoulder of Orion II or not-so-classics like Arthur Penny's Sanitorium, Chuck had always wanted to break into the movie business and become one of the best actors of all time. Unfortunately, due to a rather serious lung disease and a rather pointless Liberal Arts degree, Chuck might never reach the stage. But he's still putting in those auditions.

 

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It's not often you see Willie "Thumbs" Thorburne out when the sun's up. As the resident double bassist at the Jazz in your Face Club, this cat's usually sleeping off a heady blend of bourbon and smooth swinging rhythms well into the evening. Here he's picking up his dry cleaning. Which isn't terribly exciting - though he has only got 18 minutes left on his meter. But you won't catch our Willie hurrying nor scurrying. 'Cos that just ain't jazz.

 

(This was for FW3's entry. Apologies for screwing it up. And not providing a picture.)

Edited by mcgroin
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fw3 - another funny thread - I know why I've voted for you in nearly every category I saw your name in :)



Meet Chuck Loya, 30 year old Sandwich Artist at the Bite! on Sinner Street, vintage VHS enthusiast, and sufferer of Cynophobia...

<snip>

^^lol - Are you up for hire? Need someone for my next bio for the Ms. LS 2017 contest!

 

OT: Prince Arthur Bellmoore aka "DoubleP" (PanicPrab) - a twentyfour years old gofer of Benny. Earning his way up in the hierachy and lately earned the "silver-chain-o'-trust". Loves to play basketball in his sparetime and had the talent for a pro player - but was terminated by a traumata at his left ankle and loosing his scholarship. He slipped into gang delinquency and is the second fastest car thief in Benny's staff. Trademark: Open the sidewindow with his iron-spiked basketball.

 

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meet CHELSEA, at high school she was called the next famous fluffy fashion trendsetter with a sparkly future in the fashion business cause she always worn selfmade clothes which she presented on a blog with a huge audience following. but when she began to criticize the poor labor conditions of many manufacters people began to threat her completely different and she decided to put her energy into something more useful. now she works on the poor people streets helping with all kind of things, kind of a allrounder with a low income but with great stories and warm hearted people. her red loop on her trousers are a indication of how talented she was creating own clothing pieces.

 

 

who's this?

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Say hello to Billy, In and out of rehab for the last 2 years, he wasn't always a screw up but his addiction to meteorite bars was ruining his life, he gained 80lbs and his wife left him out of disgust. His divorce left him broke, bald and empty. Now he works in and out of LS as a contractor, for now he's keeping off the pounds but it's only a matter of time before he feels the need to fill that void.. and the only thing he can think about is meteorite bars. Somebody pay a chick to screw him before all is lost.


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In reply to @Candy Suxxx's post.

"Awwwwwh, wha? Wha? Huhn, whaaa? Oh, wait, let me take out my earbuds, bro. No, I just got out of class. My name's Brian, Brian Chess. Yeah, Chess. I know, right? It's French. So, what were you saying, dude? Oh, the marina? I think that's like, over by the water, right? Unless you meant 'marinara,' cuz then I'd be all like, duuuude, I love spaghetti with marinara! hahaha! Oh, but yeah, I don't know where it is, man. Like, somewhere over that way... or that way, maybe. Near the water. Good luck, bruh."

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meet david a.k.a. kifflom snacksracks! after wild party nights and alcohol excesses he finally found sense in kifflom. he was in a really high position there and practiced kifflom everyday. what you see here is a ritual they're doing, david has to lie on the ground and kifflom brother and sisters coming at you full speed and need to break before they hit you. but unfortunately there were some members doing kifflom ham ui ham ui ham ui not too serious and they killed david, cause they pulled the breaks too late as you can see on the red braking marks. well now he's in fluffy kifflom heaven and still is practicing kifflom as their members say.

 

 

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Say Hello to Waldorf and Statler - the ironic-iconic twins at ammu-nation. At Vietnam they were

. Their psychic trauma lasts for now. After war where they luckily survived, no perspective showed up to live a normal life, so they opened an ammu-nation patriotic gun and armor shop in LS. Still in the feeling the war isn't over, they're stockpiling an immens number of weapons and accessory of all kind - supporting all unstable, mental weirdos running arround in freeroam.

 

Who's Mom?

29ckxp3.jpg

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That's Robbie. No last name, she chose to forget it, traumatic times involving abusive relatives, sadistic husband, months long captivity in a basement with only an opossum for a roommate to help keep a grip on reality and the last thread of sanity not yet devoured by the drugs, raping and beatings. After she managed to escape, not three days had passed before she was standing on the land act dam ready to get it over with.. Then she felt it. A kick. A life flashed before her, but it wasn't hers.. it was her unborn child's... And it was beautiful. She fell on her knees, screaming with agony... She must remain. This is her one month later, on her way to find hope for the little one. The tattoo was done by her up on the dam the same fateful day she decided to fight so she never forgets what she is fighting for...

 

-

 

Who's this Chillier-than-thou individual?

 

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Beverly Watson - A week ago. Beverly grewed up sheltered in her family of cops - her grandpa, dad and brother joined the LSPD. While her grandpa made it to the age of 55, her dad died at the age of 41 tryin to arrest a group of four bankrobbers infront of the Pacific Standard bank. Sadly, her brother died at the age of 25 in a chase of a convenient store robber. Beverly herself died a couple mins after this photo was taken by Cameron Star, a well known crimminal in LS. RIP Beverly.

 

 

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Sherri "The Bitch" Kerri, formerly a Vinewood porn actress. Sherri came to LS with ambitions for a career as a thespian. Six years had passed since her first audition on fame or shame. The memories of being fondled back stage in dark rooms, and sharing crack pipes weighs heavy on her mind today. Her pseudonym was earned for Kicking perverted men in the testicles after every shoot. Daily she drives her worn down issi past the Vinewood studios and wonders how the emptiness in her broken soul will heal.

 

Favorite color: Brown

 

Favorite radio station: VBR

 

 

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Edited by §†rāngė
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"What's the point of having a 24-hour pharmacy that is only open from 11-2 on Sundays?," said Jasper Richardson, Jr., former interning attorney for Molly Shultz at Shultz & Shultz. "When I was let go from my job at Shultz & Shultz, it was a devastating blow to both my ego and my lifestyle, since blow was constant basis of my lifestyle," he went on to say. "My beautiful 2013 Dewbauchee Massacro was repossessed, I lost my house up in Vinewood Hills, my girlfriend left me and had to take a job at Suburban clothiers, and someone stole my dog, Chop. I have nothing! The least life could do for me is open the god-forsaken pharmacy so I can get my pills!" he explained. He concluded the interview by repeating, "Why, Kifflom, why?" while looking up at the sky.

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Trevor-Fuckin-Phillips

Meet Dwayne V. Brewer, a 19-year-old sophomore at ULSA. A liberal arts major, Dwayne is shown here as the victim of a fraternity hazing prank, and of his own trusting nature which he will forever question going forward. As Dwayne awakens in the back of this party wagon, he struggles to piece together the events of the previous evening. His head pounding, he recalls agreeing to hide inside the coffin wearing the Frank mask to "scare the hell" out of some unsuspecting frat buddies. Staring down at his vomit-stained janitor jump suit, Dwayne realizes those pills he was given were not extasy. Shielding his eyes from the sun, he looks around wondering where the hell he is. He concludes that his frat buddies have abandoned him somewhere in Blaine County, and wonders how the hell he's going to get home. Deciding he will probably have to hitchhike, Dwayne instead crawls back into the coffin and closes the lid, quietly reflecting on his poor life choices before falling back into a deep sleep.

 

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Edited by Trevor-Fuckin-Phillips
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Good old Javier Puerto Fernandez-Bueno. Javier being an illegal immigrant, tries to blend in the neighborhood as best as possible. What better place than Paleto Bay where the average IQ of it's citizens is a staggeringly low 67. He can feel the cold stares behind him; he sweats and paranoia takes over his mind. A cold beer on hot days reminds him of Mexico, a home he yearns for in dreams now.

When will they arrive again he wonders, afraid.The civil border patrol has failed on seven separate occasions to apprehend him. Javier pulls posters down of his wanted face plastered all over Paleto Bay sanctioned by it's crooked, dope smoking mayor. "f*cking hell, f*cking hell" Javier mumbles down with sips of his last of his beer. One more day of his boss from Cluckin' Bell condescending him again, has him on edge. He keeps his knife close, stashed against his belt. Work begins in fifteen minutes, he will be late, we know not his fate but Javier plans on cutting someones throat today.

 

 

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Edited by §†rāngė
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Good old Javier Puerto Fernandez-Bueno. Javier being an illegal immigrant, tries to blend in the neighborhood as best as possible. What better place than Paleto Bay where the average IQ of it's citizens is a staggeringly low 67. He can feel the cold stares behind him; he sweats and paranoia takes over his mind. A cold beer on hot days reminds him of Mexico, a home he yearns for in dreams now.

When will they arrive again he wonders, afraid.The civil border patrol has failed on seven separate occasions to apprehend him. Javier pulls posters down of his wanted face plastered all over Paleto Bay sanctioned by it's crooked, dope smoking mayor. "f*cking hell, f*cking hell" Javier mumbles down with sips of his last of his beer. One more day of his boss from Cluckin' Bell condescending him again, has him on edge. He keeps his knife close, stashed against his belt. Work begins in fifteen minutes, he will be late, we know not his fate but Javier plans on cutting someones throat today.

 

 

9r6r3ba.jpg

 

sorry i can't think of a name or backstory for him.

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Okay, @hugh750, I'll cover both your photo and [member=§†rāngė]'s:

 

Poor Aloysius never got a break. His wife, Clytemnestra, or as most people called her, Clybaby, demanded that he get himself together, get a damned job, and get some self-respect or else she was going to toss his lazy behind to the curb!

Well, he took her serious this time and found a job advertisement online. It was for a delivery position with a company called, Infinity 8. Aloysius called the number and was immediately set up with an interview. However, when he got to the address, things seemed a little strange. Standing at the front door, waiting to meet Mr. Merle Abrahams, the owner of Infinity 8, he got an odd feeling that he was in danger. There was a strong smell of something rotting nearby and he thought he saw blood on the walkway when he approached.

Of course, he forgot his disposable phone, so there was no way for him to call his wife to tell her he was running late to meet her at that new restaurant by the beach for dinner. Clybaby waited and waited, but he never showed up.

As of now, he still hasn't shown up and she's long since packed up his things, put them in storage, and is now dating the Los Santos Fire Department.

 

Cheers! :)

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Edited by fw3
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Meet Antoine Rudd, 26-year-old-something from San Fierro. He had a tough childhood and teenage years mostly due to schoolyard bullying. Frankly, part of it was because of all his stupid interests no other human being with a social life would ever partake in. He also felt uncomfortable around all the gays in the downtown Queens district, since he himself was still trying very hard to repress his own homosexual tendencies. He decided to move to Los Santos to start a new chapter in his life, give it his best shot and also hope nobody would recognize him from the embarrassing pictures which spread all over social media during his adolescence.

But not unlike his situation in the city of steel, he had trouble finding work in the city of saints aswell. His only credentials being a major in gender studies, his best living attempt in the art of picking up chicks, according to his own LifeInvader page (to this day his only girlfriend was a girl called Melissa in High-School). The thing he liked the most about LS is that, unlike in San Fierro, there was rarely any fog. With the favorable weather conditions in his new hometown, he tried to start an outdoor/VLOG YouTube Bleeter career. Things didn't go as imagined, as actual physical fitness was required and social media backfired on him yet again as people constantly mocked him for his weak chin. The picture you see above being photoshopped into almost every significant and cinematographic scene in documented human history. Things didn't get better after Jock Cranley's election a couple of years later, when Antoine realized it was actually necessary to contribute wealth to the economy in order to pay off a student loan. A long period of political activism and pathological denial ensued.

 

Antoine was brutally murdered on his way to a Sue Murry rally down in Vespucci as he switched lanes for no apparent f*cking reason and collided with speeding Sicilian night club owner Sonny Leone, damaging his vintage Stinger. As his body was recovered on scene, the paramedics documented a shattered skull at multiple locations from what appeared to be a nine-iron. The alleged mob boss Sonny Leone himself was suspected for the crime, but prosecution had to be abandoned due to a lack of eye-witness.

 

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Sonny Leone's lawyer and close personal family friend, Ben Rosenberg, issued the following statement: "The insinuations that my client is somehow involved in the brutal murder of Rudd and might have been motivated by temper is ludicrous and an offense to the character of Italian-Americans".


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Edited by Spadge
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^ (referring to Spadge's terrific photo above)

This here is a photo of Lonnie Rateneck and his son, Lonnie Rateneck. The Lonnies are big fans of the Walking Dead, except they're convinced it ain't a fictional program, but that it's really happening somewhere outside of where they live, and they've been preparing since season one was released a few years back.

They got a sixteen year supply of food in the basement, medicine, weapons, and VHS tapes to make it through any apocalypse that comes their way. In the basement, they built a small apartment for Lonnie's mom. They figure, when the time comes, they'll need to repopulate the planet. Of course, Lonnie's already started.

They forgot to stock up on personal hygiene products like soap, toothpaste, or toilet paper, figuring that stuff was just a waste and would take up too much space, so now things are startin' to get a little ripe.

Since they live north west of Grapeseed and there's no other houses around, they figure them walkers must just be heading into the city, where all the good eatin' would be. So, their plan is to stick it out for the next decade until this thing is over. And who knows how long that'll be! Cheers! :)

NEXT:

 

 

 

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Edited by fw3
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^ (referring to Spadge's terrific photo above)

 

This here is a photo of Lonnie Rateneck and his son, Lonnie Rateneck. The Lonnies are big fans of the Walking Dead, except they're convinced it ain't a fictional program, but that it's really happening somewhere outside of where they live, and they've been preparing since season one was released a few years back.

 

They got a sixteen year supply of food in the basement, medicine, weapons, and VHS tapes to make it through any apocalypse that comes their way. In the basement, they built a small apartment for Lonnie's mom. They figure, when the time comes, they'll need to repopulate the planet. Of course, Lonnie's already started.

 

They forgot to stock up on personal hygiene products like soap, toothpaste, or toilet paper, figuring that stuff was just a waste and would take up too much space, so now things are startin' to get a little ripe.

 

Since they live north west of Grapeseed and there's no other houses around, they figure them walkers must just be heading into the city, where all the good eatin' would be. So, their plan is to stick it out for the next decade until this thing is over. And who knows how long that'll be! Cheers! :)

 

NEXT:

 

 

 

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My name is Bob Roberts. I like to ride around on my scooter with my 32 pet hamsters and gerbils strapped to me in such a way that they each have a mirror to admire themselves in.

 

I haven't had sex in thirteen and three quarters years, I think it's because I'm too picky.

 

 

2hnc2g7.jpg

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Whiskers. A previously cherished and well looked after cat, he forgave the clichéd and uninspired name given to him. What he couldn't forgive, however, was the day he was tricked into a cat carrier and driven to a vet who, quite simply, chopped his balls off. Humiliated, emasculated and dreams of starting a family with the ginger moggie next door shattered, he ran away. Now suffering from mild PTSD, his days are monotonous - hunting and scavenging for food, whilst trying to avoid a kick up the arse by a cat-hating dog-loving intoxicated gang member.

 

NEXT

 

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Edited by wingoose
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Meet Gerry, a fifty something, 245lb, divorced stock broker. He's come to Los Santos on vacation, to lose his worries and inhibitions and hopefully his cherry. After trawling the gay nightclub scene in San Fierro and Liberty City, hitting Gaydar Station and Hercules, it's time to hit the Los Santos nightlife. First stop the Lust Resort. Well, actually, the first first stop will be the Up and Atom burger joint. Tonight Gerry will lose the lilac button down and striped cargos and instead be donning a lace-up corset, PVC thong, and red wig. He's always wanted to be a redhead. You go, Gina!

 

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Edited by Saffyduck
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  • 3 weeks later...

^^^

Miron J. Hepschnaüff is a professional waxsmith. His interest began in 1982 when he discovered his own body produced an excess of cerumen, from which he would craft incredible miniature carvings of celebrities like Paul Anka, Keira Knightly, or the late Alan Thicke.

In his early 20's, Miron went to Tahiti to seek out a rare strand of black pearls, which he found and formed into a necklace. These rare pearls, supposedly, radiate a light frequency which keeps his cerumen production to a minimum, requiring only a Q-Tipping removal every few hours instead of the constant stream he was used to.

While his interests for many years was to work with the Apple Computer team, especially alongside his idol, Steve Jobs, the company rejected his request to help design a wax-based iMac model, which he'd built and brought to Cupertino, California to show. However, the day he arrived for his presentation was the same day Jobs passed away, leaving Miron to sit outside Apple headquarters in the hot sun while his prototype wax iMac melted when he fell asleep on a titanium park bench.

Now, several years later, he continues to honor his idol by adorning himself in the same outfit of black turtleneck and jeans worn by Steve Jobs. He claims the garments actually belonged to Jobs and he acquired them from bribing a housekeeper at the Jobs estate. Some dispute the claim as false.

He currently lives in San Andreas where he spends time crafting small knick knacks and mementos for patients at the local hospital, despite the several restraining orders to stay away as he draws fear from both patients and employees when he arrives with a large carving knife and promises to "remove his pearls and let his cerumen love flow free for all!"

Cheers!

 

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