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GTA Online jokes

Toxic_Paradox

By Toxic_Paradox
in GTA Online

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Toxic_Paradox

Toxic_Paradox

Posted
Posted

This thread is about making you laugh and make jokes about the game

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Alvarez

Alvarez

Posted
Posted (edited)

Why did a AI driver cross the road?

Edited by Alvarez
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Sky_Light12

Sky_Light12

Posted
Posted (edited)

Why did a AI driver cross the road?

to dinging player's undamaged car that's speeds up from 0-60

Edited by Sky_Light12
  • Sussus Amongus, Alvarez, DarkSavageDeathlyCloud and 2 others
  • Like 5
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oleg_aka_djmeg

oleg_aka_djmeg

Posted
Posted

Rockstar's Servers.

thread didn't even start and can be closed already.
  • EABetteBalterZen, MilezDawg and GR Choke
  • Like 3
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Alvarez

Alvarez

Posted
Posted (edited)

"Hey Boss, you might be interested in this, come to the office as fast as you can."

 

Di9FDFZ.png

 

Edited by Alvarez
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Voit Turyv

Voit Turyv

Posted
Posted

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because it couldn't join the f*cking session.

  • DarkSavageDeathlyCloud, Martin15, StangOne50 and 7 others
  • Like 10
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Sky_Light12

Sky_Light12

Posted
Posted

why does my crates destroyed everysingle time ?

 

because it's a griefer's magnet

 

  • Hunter and Mervz789
  • Like 2
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Hunter

Hunter

Posted
Posted

A guy's flying a Savage; his friend on the ground is scouting an area with a sniper.

 

"Woah, careful man! They've got miniguns and 50. cal heavy weapons!"

 

The Savage pilot has a smug smile.

 

"No worries buddy; I'm in a heavily armoured Hind gunship."

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Furry_Monkey

Furry_Monkey

Posted
Posted (edited)

The game has enough jokes in it already...

 

i-like-your-car.png

Edited by Furry_Monkey
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Jammsbro

Jammsbro

Posted
Posted

The bit in the gta forums where everyone think their comment is so f*cking balls out that they can call /thread and the thread should be closed.

 

You know, egotists.

  • jabloki, Yukinoshita and MilezDawg
  • Like 3
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Toxic_Paradox

Toxic_Paradox

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Yo gta online charaters' mama so old she's a stripper of christopher columbus

  • DemonicMoustache
  • Like 1
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Alvarez

Alvarez

Posted
Posted (edited)

A guy's flying a Savage; his friend on the ground is scouting an area with a sniper.

 

"Woah, careful man! They've got miniguns and 50. cal heavy weapons!"

 

The Savage pilot has a smug smile.

 

"No worries buddy; I'm in a heavily armoured Hind gunship."

- Hey Boss, i see you are picking crates, won't you need two people to help you out with that?

- Don't you worry, i bought a Brickade truck just for a such case.

 

- But...but you will be only to be able to pick just one crate!

- Humbug, i already used it to deliver my whole warehouse.

 

Edited by Alvarez
  • DarkSavageDeathlyCloud, Hunter, Growlmon and 3 others
  • Like 6
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Sky_Light12

Sky_Light12

Posted
Posted (edited)

in america , you deliver the crates

in russia , the crates deliver you !!!!

 

my assistant compliment about my outfit , my response ?

" why thank you , i'd knew you notice me in my underwear "

 

" He's over there ! kill him " ~ scumbag pig

" i don't suppose you're bright enough to tell i am a man or a woman " ~ Female suspect

 

* Le Titan crippled by a homing launcher *

" oh sh*t ! my plane is going DOWN !!!! "

* Le parachute off from shot down plane *

" a plane is shot down ? better find and kill the survivor " ~ scumbag pig

 

* Le invited a player to play " don't cross the line *

* Le " you have been kicked from the session for being doing nothing " *

" dammit , no good deeds goes unpunished " ~ Insane Troll

Edited by Sky_Light12
  • DarkSavageDeathlyCloud and Mervz789
  • Like 2
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alkaline_

alkaline_

Posted
Posted

yesterday i joined a lobby only with 6 people in it. i was like ui ui ui lets do some ceo work. BOUM somebody off radarish jeterish cannoninshed me!! my response was a fluffy "ui ui ui". he was like look at my k/d, look at my k/d, its real!!! it was something 10.243 whatever. i was like "ui ui ui" again. i managed to kill his online pixel warrior once. he went passive, ordered a new jet and cannonished me again. then he texted me "do you believe me now?" hihihi. this was a good one.

  • V4S, Handsome Jack and Professional Amateur
  • Like 3
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Konata Inoue

Konata Inoue

Posted
Posted

i managed to kill his online pixel warrior once.

managed to kill his online pixel warrior once.

to kill his online pixel warrior once.

kill his online pixel warrior once.

his online pixel warrior once.

online pixel warrior once.

pixel warrior once.

Polygons.

  • alkaline_ and Mervz789
  • Like 2
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Konata Inoue

Konata Inoue

Posted
Posted

Knock knock!

Who's there?

  • DarkSavageDeathlyCloud
  • Like 1
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Sentinel Driver

Sentinel Driver

Posted
Posted (edited)

What do Santa Claus, Tooth Fairy and a random who can play heists without dying have in common?

 

They are all imaginary

Edited by Sentinel Driver
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TreFacTor

TreFacTor

Posted
Posted (edited)

 

Knock knock!

.

Who's there?

...Mendoza Edited by TreFacTor
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lll-H-I-M-lll

lll-H-I-M-lll

Posted
Posted

 

Knock knock!

Who's there?

 

Harbujahn with tank im nice player come out for a cuddle!

  • jeremy81385, DarkSavageDeathlyCloud and alkaline_
  • Like 3
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lll-H-I-M-lll

lll-H-I-M-lll

Posted
Posted

In los santos its

 

Buzz buzz buzz

Whos there?

ur a hacker giv me money plz

f*ck off (calls lamar)

  • DarkSavageDeathlyCloud
  • Like 1
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