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Bathroom Poetry

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Bathroom Poetry

A collection of short mediocre poems written by me on the most holy of places.

Swollen Rectum pt. 1


Tonight is the night.

Tonight I will open the door of life for something mightier than I.

I shall push half my weight out of the anal chimney.

I will give birth, but I will also take life.

Take the life of a thousand ghouls moaning inside of me.

Take the life of woodcutters slamming their facial hair against the inside of my rectum.

But, tonight is the night.

I shall hold my baby with the pride of a penis-loving peacock,

I shall always be there for her.


Swollen Rectum pt. 2


It was majestic.

I held my baby with my bloodstained hands.

I was happy.

We were happy.

For nine months I had waited, and now it was over.

She was finally here.

I was happy.
We were happy.

She had her mother's eyes.

and her father's swallowed gum.

I cried as I flushed her down the latrine.

But it was best this way.

I was happy.

She was happy.


Edited by HipsterHillbilly

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That disturbed me.

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This sh*t must have taken months to come out.


Sorry, I'm mildly inebriated, that didn't come out as good as I hoped it'd be. Seriously though, nice going.



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@spadge: Excellent! Joke aside, if you think that was disturbing, you should try smoking some f*cking terrible salvia only to sit on the toilet for months.


@aesob: Thanks! This is some of my first 'real' poetry aside from hiphop lines, so bear with me.



To all; There will be more of this, don't you worry. I have just been busy with non-sh*t-related stuff the latest days.

Edited by HipsterHillbilly

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