Religion in a relationship.

[018361]

I believe in god but have never been in a relationship. My viewpoint is that if I'm in love with someone who obviously loves me and our religious view happen to be different we can be together. I'm sure it will be difficult, but love is love and the heart wants what the heart wants. I think it's definitely worth at least a try and if things don't happen to work out then maybe we're just not meant for each other.

Edited January 17, 2016 by 018361

[DarkSavageDeathlyCloud]

I only take agnostic people and atheists.

Once got into a relationship were my partner talked often about mariage for church and how his dead ex was living in heaven...

never...ever...again.

 

People can beleve whatever they want though.. as long they dont bother me with it.

Edited January 17, 2016 by goldadderXD

[Abel.]

I believe in god but have never been in a relationship. My viewpoint is that if I'm in love with someone who obviously loves me and our religious view happen to be different we can be together. I'm sure it will be difficult, but love is love and the heart wants what the heart wants. I think it's definitely worth at least a try and if things don't happen to work out then maybe we're just not meant for each other.

 

I disagree. It's possible to fall in love with someone of the same faith, indeed it's probably easier as it means you have a similar cultural background and outlook on life. Why create unnecessary difficulty by marrying out?

[Dee-account-with-1kbans]

 

 

 

 

You love them for them. Not their beliefs.

 

The whole premise of this thread you've made is that the difference of religion is a source of conflict for individuals in a relationship.

Yeah but you can love someone even if they have different beliefs. That shouldn't stop 2 people from loving eachother.

I'm an atheist and my wife believes in god. She also believes in ghosts, astrology, witchcraft and everything else they mention in fairy tales. Thankfully, she's not obsessive about it neither does she ever insist on visiting temples and holy places. So, we're good.

That's pretty much me. I'm not some extreme religious wacko.

[Gay Tony]

It can also vary on how seriously you take your religion. A hardcore Christian and a hardcore Muslim are going to have less tolerance (which is key) for one another and create issues. A more casual Christian worshiper and an agnostic or even an atheist do just fine.

Edited January 17, 2016 by Gay Tony

[Dee-account-with-1kbans]

It can also vary on how seriously you take your religion. A hardcore Christian and a hardcore Muslim are going to have less tolerance (which is key) for one another and create issues. A more casual Christian worshiper and an agnostic or even an atheist do just fine.

She's not a hard core Muslim and nor am I a hardcore Christian. So the tolerance should be high in our relationship. And thanks for the advice everyone. It is a good idea to teach the kids about both religions and let them decide.

[018361]

 

I believe in god but have never been in a relationship. My viewpoint is that if I'm in love with someone who obviously loves me and our religious view happen to be different we can be together. I'm sure it will be difficult, but love is love and the heart wants what the heart wants. I think it's definitely worth at least a try and if things don't happen to work out then maybe we're just not meant for each other.

 

I disagree. It's possible to fall in love with someone of the same faith, indeed it's probably easier as it means you have a similar cultural background and outlook on life. Why create unnecessary difficulty by marrying out?

 

Well, I was just saying that if I happened to fall in love with someone of a different religion I would give it a chance is all. Of course It would be difficult. I would probably prefer someone of the same religion as me as, but I don't want to leave out any opportunity.

 

This isn't necessarily directed at you, Failure:

 

My only experience with love is what we in the christian community call a soul-bond or a soul-tie. I had it for years with my best friends cousin. I just remember one day locking eyes with her in my classroom ( this was a very very long time ago back before I graduated High School ) and suddenly feeling this rush of ecstasy whenever I would see or think about her. I was this way for years until one day in church I told one of the church elders about it and due to them convincing me it was time to move on we prayed over it and then the ecstasy disappeared.

 

Unfortunately, she moved away before I could tell her how I felt and I haven't heard of her since. My best friend and I drifted apart and haven't talked in years. I am only saying that If I fall in love and feel this intense ecstasy again for someone and I am certain that they feel the same way. I don't think I want to give that up again. To me love is something that happens to you, not a choice you make. So, If we both feel that insane passion, a passion that can spark out of nowhere, just like it did to me in that classroom I want to commit my love to that person despite what they believe. Is that worth giving up? In my honest opinion...No.

[Jehannum]

I'm an atheist. I simply couldn't be in a relationship with a theist, especially one of the three "anti-human" religions: Judaism, Christianity or Islam.

 

If we argued I probably couldn't resist bringing it up and using it. Probably immature, but there you go.

[Dee-account-with-1kbans]

I'm an atheist. I simply couldn't be in a relationship with a theist, especially one of the three "anti-human" religions: Judaism, Christianity or Islam.

 

If we argued I probably couldn't resist bringing it up and using it. Probably immature, but there you go.

Living in this world requires tolerance. I suggest you work on yours

[mr quick]

I can't even think of any examples of married couples with different religions. I honestly don't understand the appeal in interfaith marriage, I mean it just seems like it would pose so many problems, and like there's constantly this thing looming over you. I couldn't feel close to someone if we had such divergent views, plus I don't think I could raise my kids as Muslims or Jews or Buddhists or Hindus or whatever.

 

tbh it doesn't really matter if there's love involved. I've fallen for people whose ideology/religion differs and even defies my own(and vice versa ), and it really, really doesn't matter. What would I be worth anyway, if I could not see the person, only their faith?

[El Dildo]

Stu is joking right.

 

that's a joke.

he's taking the urine, as they say.

[GTA_stu]

Stu is joking right.

 

that's a joke.

he's taking the urine, as they say.

 

Haha yeah I was just kidding, I'm actually gonna raise my first born as a shiite and my second born will be an orthodox Jew. Tee hee fooled you all.

[El Dildo]

see this is like the urinetake.

he's just pulling our lower appendages, as it were. Stu is just slipping us the ole Mick.

 

nobody is actually this xenophobic.

I applaud his commitment to the bit.

[The Dedito Gae]

Stu is such a Xenomorph, liek srsly.

 

 

 

 

I would probably take any girl's belief, because i like my religion as i like my coffee.

 

 

 

Hint: i don't like coffee.

Edited January 18, 2016 by Midnight Hitman

[SinZer0s]

NOPE

[GTA_stu]

see this is like the urinetake.

he's just pulling our lower appendages, as it were. Stu is just slipping us the ole Mick.

 

nobody is actually this xenophobic.

I applaud his commitment to the bit.

 

Xenophobic? Because I wanna raise my kids as Christians? Are you having a bubble bath?

[El Dildo]

sorry,

ethnocentric.

 

you do realize that this:

I can't even think of any examples of married couples with different religions. I honestly don't understand the appeal in interfaith marriage, I mean it just seems like it would pose so many problems

sounds like little more than parody, right?

you don't really believe this crap. you're not that dense.

Edited January 20, 2016 by El Diablo

[Hayduke]

 

I believe in god but have never been in a relationship. My viewpoint is that if I'm in love with someone who obviously loves me and our religious view happen to be different we can be together. I'm sure it will be difficult, but love is love and the heart wants what the heart wants. I think it's definitely worth at least a try and if things don't happen to work out then maybe we're just not meant for each other.

I disagree. It's possible to fall in love with someone of the same faith, indeed it's probably easier as it means you have a similar cultural background and outlook on life. Why create unnecessary difficulty by marrying out?

Yeah, why even leave the trailer park when you can just f*ck your sister!?

[GTA_stu]

sorry,

ethnocentric.

 

you do realize that this:

I can't even think of any examples of married couples with different religions. I honestly don't understand the appeal in interfaith marriage, I mean it just seems like it would pose so many problems

sounds like little more than parody, right?

you don't really believe this crap. you're not that dense.

 

Deary me, why are you making such a big deal of this.

 

I genuinely couldn't think of an interfaith couple off the top of my head. Also the fact that interfaith marriage is so rare, does kind of back up my point. People don't generally marry someone who has a different religion to them. Why is that do you think? Because they don't tend to connect or mesh very well. What's dense about that? Seems pretty sound logic to me.

 

If there's anyone that's doing a parody here, it's definitely the person throwing around ridiculous terms like "xenophobic" and "ethnocentric" to describe people who prefer to be in a relationship with people who have similar beliefs and values to themselves. You sound like you have a f*cking blog on Tumblr.

[El Dildo]

I genuinely couldn't think of an interfaith couple off the top of my head. Also the fact that interfaith marriage is so rare, does kind of back up my point. People don't generally marry someone who has a different religion to them. Why is that do you think? Because they don't tend to connect or mesh very well. What's dense about that? Seems pretty sound logic to me.

this is just so close-minded that it's hilarious to me.

you must live in a village in the middle of nowhere.

 

it's like, most couples I know are interfaith.

the "fact" isn't that interfaith is rare, but rather interfaith couples don't often make as big of a deal out of their religious differences as those for whom it might be more important. if someone is hardcore about their faith then they'll tend to stay within it. people who are less hardcore - but still faithful - don't really adhere to that restriction.

 

 

 

If there's anyone that's doing a parody here, it's definitely the person throwing around ridiculous terms like "xenophobic" and "ethnocentric" to describe people who prefer to be in a relationship with people who have similar beliefs and values to themselves. You sound like you have a f*cking blog on Tumblr.

 

xenophobic was perhaps the wrong choice of words.

 

but you're the one who made the statement

"I honestly don't understand the appeal in interfaith marriage, I mean it just seems like it would pose so many problems"

 

which is extremely ethnocentric, if at the very least, narrow-minded.

you need to travel more. or something. you don't understand how people from different backgrounds can come together? or how they can put petty differences aside for love? or how these differences might actually strengthen the both of them? I just feel sorry for you now.

[Jehannum]

Which would make the better sitcom: Jewish husband and Muslim wife, or vice versa?

[Dee-account-with-1kbans]

Stu is such a Xenomorph, liek srsly.

 

 

 

 

I would probably take any girl's belief, because i like my religion as i like my coffee.

 

 

 

Hint: i don't like coffee.

I... I'm confused!!

[Abel.]

 

I can't even think of any examples of married couples with different religions. I honestly don't understand the appeal in interfaith marriage, I mean it just seems like it would pose so many problems, and like there's constantly this thing looming over you. I couldn't feel close to someone if we had such divergent views, plus I don't think I could raise my kids as Muslims or Jews or Buddhists or Hindus or whatever.

tbh it doesn't really matter if there's love involved. I've fallen for people whose ideology/religion differs and even defies my own(and vice versa ), and it really, really doesn't matter. What would I be worth anyway, if I could not see the person, only their faith?

 

Stu is talking about marriage specifically. How are you going to live with someone who is culturally different to you, and whose family is doubtlessly very different to you culturally and religiously? Any kids you might have will be raised in a culturally confused household and this will no doubt create conflict.

 

Of course if you both relinquish your cultural ties and focus on secular identities then there won't be a problem. There's nothing inherently wrong with this--I mean there's a lot of great secular culture out there--but that's basically what it takes. Stu (very reasonably) wants to maintain the traditions of his family and nation so will probably marry someone with his sensibilities who his British, which is absolutely fine.

Neither Stu or I are passing judgement here, we're just describing how we might act.

 

 

Yeah, why even leave the trailer park when you can just f*ck your sister!?

 

If I do have a sister she's a thousand miles away, doesn't live in a trailer park and is probably (gasp) dating someone who shares her faith and culture. Yes I got your point and no she's not shacking up with my/her brother either.

 

 

El_D: You're saying Stu is ethnocentric, but how is it any different from going out of your way to date someone exotic? At the end of the day you're ignoring the importance that culture and faith can have in someone's life.

 

The Modern Orthodox community are culturally well assimilated in the Western world, are generally professionals and have interests outside of Judaism. However, they are also very much grounded in the traditions of their faith, attend shul services, observe the Halakha. Are they "ethnocentric" for not marrying out? If so, who the f*ck cares? It doesn't affect you at all. Let's say a Modern Orthodox guy wants to marry a Christian girl. In order for the rabbi to even consider this, she must undergo conversion. In most cases she will be refused three times before even being considered for this, and then we're looking at a process that takes months during which she must demonstrate an innate love for Torah and a longing to be part of the Jewish people, and there's a good chance she doesn't feel these things so basically has to reforge her identity and enter into an insular religious community. Assuming she does convert, then the children will be accepted as Jews and all will be fine for them, but there will always be a part of that woman's life she'll never get back. Hanging up Christmas decorations with her kids? Nope. Mince pies? No way. MacDonald's on the way back from a family outing? No, no, no.

 

The alternative is that they marry outside the Jewish community. This marriage will not be recognised by any orthodox rabbi, or the Israeli rabbinate for that matter. The children will not be considered Jewish (indeed, they will be mamzerim). In this case the man will have to sever himself from the community he's known since he was a boy, know that his son will not have a Bar Mitzvah and that he'll learn all about Jesus in school instead of how much arse Judah Maccabee kicked. He'll never say a blessing in Hebrew at his daughter's wedding, nor will she marry under the chuppah for that matter. His children will have to go through a difficult trial if they want to truly return to Bnei Yisrael.

 

 

I have a range of friends from different backgrounds and that's great. I'm a big believer in understanding people who are different and being proud of our differences. Skin colour is superficial, it should mean nothing in today's world, and your cultural background should be embraced, not something to be ashamed of. But family is something personal, and you've no right to admonish people who want to keep it that way. Stu's family has been a traditional British family for generations, and if wants to keep it that way, more power to him.

 

People who scream from the rooftops that we should all mesh together and mix are people with no conception of how difficult it can be to be ethnically and religiously/culturally mixed, how lonely this can make you and how few such marriages actually succeed.

 

 

 

sorry,

ethnocentric.

 

you do realize that this:

I can't even think of any examples of married couples with different religions. I honestly don't understand the appeal in interfaith marriage, I mean it just seems like it would pose so many problems

sounds like little more than parody, right?

you don't really believe this crap. you're not that dense.

 

But I've actually seen such marriages pose problems and lead to children being raised in broken homes.

 

As I said earlier, for a marriage like that to succeed fairly both parties must relinquish much of their former cultural identities and raise their kids in a secular environment. This is fine if both are willing to do so, but it's unfair on everyone if that's not the case.

 

 

 

 

I believe in god but have never been in a relationship. My viewpoint is that if I'm in love with someone who obviously loves me and our religious view happen to be different we can be together. I'm sure it will be difficult, but love is love and the heart wants what the heart wants. I think it's definitely worth at least a try and if things don't happen to work out then maybe we're just not meant for each other.

I disagree. It's possible to fall in love with someone of the same faith, indeed it's probably easier as it means you have a similar cultural background and outlook on life. Why create unnecessary difficulty by marrying out?

 

Well, I was just saying that if I happened to fall in love with someone of a different religion I would give it a chance is all. Of course It would be difficult. I would probably prefer someone of the same religion as me as, but I don't want to leave out any opportunity.

 

This isn't necessarily directed at you, Failure:

 

My only experience with love is what we in the christian community call a soul-bond or a soul-tie. I had it for years with my best friends cousin. I just remember one day locking eyes with her in my classroom ( this was a very very long time ago back before I graduated High School ) and suddenly feeling this rush of ecstasy whenever I would see or think about her. I was this way for years until one day in church I told one of the church elders about it and due to them convincing me it was time to move on we prayed over it and then the ecstasy disappeared.

 

Unfortunately, she moved away before I could tell her how I felt and I haven't heard of her since. My best friend and I drifted apart and haven't talked in years. I am only saying that If I fall in love and feel this intense ecstasy again for someone and I am certain that they feel the same way. I don't think I want to give that up again. To me love is something that happens to you, not a choice you make. So, If we both feel that insane passion, a passion that can spark out of nowhere, just like it did to me in that classroom I want to commit my love to that person despite what they believe. Is that worth giving up? In my honest opinion...No.

 

 

 

This is reasoned response, I'm sorry you had a hard time of it. I get what you mean but my point still stands. You seem like a decent guy and I'm sure you'll have that feeling again for a girl in your community. Hopefully next time you'll be in a position to go further. These things are tough.

 

Sorry for coming off as brusque earlier on.

 

 

 

 

 

 

At the end of the day, people should be allowed to be with whomever they wish according to what fulfils them and makes them happy. I think I'd be an awful husband and father so I barely contemplate marriage, but if I were to get married I'd want it to be meaningful and with someone from a community I care about. That's just me.

Edited January 20, 2016 by Failure

[MyName'sJeff]

Which would make the better sitcom: Jewish husband and Muslim wife, or vice versa?

A close minded atheist wife/husband and open minded atheist wife/husband, would catch on very quick.

[Lilіth]

Depends. If they're not all about their bible/quran/tora/whatever else is considered holy and don't get in your face about it, it's fine. Just make sure you prep seperate meals if you're doing a BBQ, nothing wrong with people having different beliefs and being civil about them. If they do get in your face though; A: Why'd you contemplate getting into this in the first place? B: Fight fire with fire. Break them. Dismantle their sugar-coated vision and leave them as a wreck.

[El Dildo]

But I've actually seen such marriages pose problems and lead to children being raised in broken homes.

 

As I said earlier, for a marriage like that to succeed fairly both parties must relinquish much of their former cultural identities and raise their kids in a secular environment. This is fine if both are willing to do so, but it's unfair on everyone if that's not the case

I'm sorry but I could not possibly disagree more.

 

I didn't say that interfaith marriages would be 100% perfect 100% of the time.

no one is saying that.

 

but I sincerely believe that Stu is being very narrow-minded.

and apparently you're following him down the same path. you guys really believe that interfaith marriages are that difficult? seriously where do you guys live? I've always lived in relatively big cities in very populated parts of the country and I see as many successful interfaith couples as not.

 

I am the product of a happy and healthy interfaith marriage.

if you really believe that both partners needs to make huge sacrifices or "relinquish" their former identities just for marriage or raising kids then I'm afraid you guys are severely mistaken. severely.

 

you might be right in some cases.

you're dead wrong in many others. regular people make interfaith relationships work all the time. it's simple reality.

[Osho]

It didn't cross my mind when I first met this cute south indian girl in the college seven years back thinking about first to know more about what religion she is from. I mean, who falls in a relationship based on the religion?

I don't know about others but despite coming from a different background and religion than her, I never even once cared about this thing. Sure, in our family all prefer to have inter caste marriages, which is fine as long as its an arranged one. Luckily, my experience has been different and fortunately, there's never been any problems with regards to religion or any thing for that matter in getting our parents on board.

Actually, I feel like having a relationship with an individual from a different background has been a great experience for me. Don't know why but it seems to feel great to meet a girl who's from a different religion than mine.

[Sombra]

man i know these two people the girl is muslim and the guys christian and while they aint exactly the strictest of their religions ( mean sh*t the first time they met eachother was during an mdma fuelled birthday session and he fingered her on some stairs behind an abandoned building with like 30 people there but now they been together like 3 years and theyre a pretty solid couple

[Abel.]

 

But I've actually seen such marriages pose problems and lead to children being raised in broken homes.

 

As I said earlier, for a marriage like that to succeed fairly both parties must relinquish much of their former cultural identities and raise their kids in a secular environment. This is fine if both are willing to do so, but it's unfair on everyone if that's not the case

I'm sorry but I could not possibly disagree more.

 

I didn't say that interfaith marriages would be 100% perfect 100% of the time.

no one is saying that.

 

but I sincerely believe that Stu is being very narrow-minded.

and apparently you're following him down the same path. you guys really believe that interfaith marriages are that difficult? seriously where do you guys live? I've always lived in relatively big cities in very populated parts of the country and I see as many successful interfaith couples as not.

 

I am the product of a happy and healthy interfaith marriage.

if you really believe that both partners needs to make huge sacrifices or "relinquish" their former identities just for marriage or raising kids then I'm afraid you guys are severely mistaken. severely.

 

you might be right in some cases.

you're dead wrong in many others. regular people make interfaith relationships work all the time. it's simple reality.

 

 

Well I guess that's a fair compromise. I mean I'm not really religious or anything but background would still be a factor in whether I marry someone or not. I don't really believe in "love" marriages, it's more about loyalty and creating a good household in which to raise children. I mean I applaud any couple that manages to go the distance regardless of whether they're from the same background or not, I just think it makes more sense not to marry someone from a radically different cultural background. Of course when love is involved things seldom make much sense. At the end of the day, just do what you think is right. Intermarriage is a problem in many communities (Jewish communities, Indian Parsi/Zoroastrian community, and so on) but it's up to people to do what makes them happy I guess.

 

Stu and I are just expressing a point of view which is actually quite normal and not at all narrow-minded or ethnocentric.

 

mdma fuelled birthday session and he fingered her on some stairs behind an abandoned building with like 30 people there but now they been together like 3 years and theyre a pretty solid couple

 

Your life is basically Skins. They're both secularists really, I mean it's not like she goes to the mosque regularly and he reads the Gospel. I wish them well.

Edited January 21, 2016 by Failure

[Menstrual Deranged]

I only take agnostic people and atheists.

 

This is totally me. If I ever found myself single again for whatever reason, figuring out a way to tactfully but quickly find out if a potential partner was agnostic or atheist would be my #1 priority.

 

When it comes to religious folk, I do believe that couples of different faith can make it work. A co-worker of mine is Christian and her husband is Jewish. I know that they celebrate all the Christian and Jewish holidays with their children and extended families without any issue.