Religion in a relationship.

[Dee-account-with-1kbans]

So some personal stories sparked the creation of this thread. How do you deal with religion in a serious relationship?

 

Ex: Muslim + Christian

[Sombra]

i'd respect their beliefs and values aslong as they don't try to force their values onto me.

[AlienTwo]

I think there is no room for religion in a relationship, distracts from worshiping each other.

[Dee-account-with-1kbans]

i'd respect their beliefs and values aslong as they don't try to force their values onto me.

This is a problem that came up with me. What about if it turns intimate? What will happen with kids?

 

I'm not a "super serious Christian" I was just raised to believe in God. I went to church as a child not much now. But I still believe in god.

Edited January 16, 2016 by FutoLover

[Hayduke]

Turn it into a fetish porn

[Sombra]

 

i'd respect their beliefs and values aslong as they don't try to force their values onto me.

This is a problem that came up with me. What about if it turns intimate? What will happen with kids?

 

I'm not a "super serious Christian" I was just raised to believe in God. I went to church as a child not much now. But I still believe in god.

 

 

i wouldnt wanna raise kids with any religion but i can see that being a problem

 

id raise my kids on wu tang

[Alexander]

i'd respect their beliefs and values aslong as they don't try to force their values onto me.

 

 

This tbh.

 

About the kids, what my parents did is just not raise me in any religion, so I was free to choose what I wanted to believe once I was mature enough, and so I did. Tbh I'll probably will end up talking about this with my couple in the future and see what she thinks.

[Mr. Scratch]

 

 

i'd respect their beliefs and values aslong as they don't try to force their values onto me.

This is a problem that came up with me. What about if it turns intimate? What will happen with kids?

 

I'm not a "super serious Christian" I was just raised to believe in God. I went to church as a child not much now. But I still believe in god.

 

i wouldnt wanna raise kids with any religion but i can see that being a problem

 

id raise my kids on wu tang

Church of Yeezy or bust.

[Sombra]

yeah no

 

wu compared to yeezy is like comparing the feelin when u nut inside to stickin ya dick in a blender

[Dee-account-with-1kbans]

 

i'd respect their beliefs and values aslong as they don't try to force their values onto me.

 

This tbh.

 

About the kids, what my parents did is just not raise me in any religion, so I was free to choose what I wanted to believe once I was mature enough, and so I did. Tbh I'll probably will end up talking about this with my couple in the future and see what she thinks.

Thanks for your contribution! But what if you want to raise a kid with a religion? Teach them about God, the bible, etc but your other half wants to do the same with their religion?

[Alexander]

They both talked to me about their religions, their books, God, etc. That wasn't a problem.

 

One thing though, I don't think a lot of people would do what they did, or would even agree with that.

[Coin]

I feel like this thread has popped up before recently.

 

Anyway, if someone's religion being different to your own was going to be problematic, why would you enter into a relationship with them in the first place?

[Sombra]

They both talked to me about their religions, their books, God, etc. That wasn't a problem.

 

One thing though, I don't think a lot of people would do what they did, or would even agree with that.

 

f*ck this relationship conflict im tired of you disappearing from irc and saying youre going then continuing to post later

 

we all like to fap alex no need to hide it just idle on irc

[Dee-account-with-1kbans]

I feel like this thread has popped up before recently.

 

Anyway, if someone's religion being different to your own was going to be problematic, why would you enter into a relationship with them in the first place?

You love them for them. Not their beliefs.

[Coin]

 

You love them for them. Not their beliefs.

 

 

The whole premise of this thread you've made is that the difference of religion is a source of conflict for individuals in a relationship.

[Gay Tony]

Tolerance. It's the same with having different politics or other different sorts of beliefs. You don't have to agree on everything, just don't force your sh*t on your partner.

 

With kids you can educate them on both religions and have them make their own choice.

[Linerax]

Why not let the kids choose both religions?

[paperbagdude]

Islam, Christianity, Judaism... who cares? All three are Abrahamic religions that builds upon worshipping the same god, Lord Almighty.

 

Thing is they do this in each their own way to the same god. It's like math. Some people approach calcusus using the appropriate techniques, while others calculate it another way around, while the rest gives up and ends up working at McDonald's.

 

Some people open their beers using a table, some use a lighter and others use an actual beer opener. Although some may point fingers at those using a method different to themselves, all parties still gets to enjoy the same cold beer.

 

Point is; you and your partner believes in the same God - and that's basically it. Your partner just prefers to bow down towards Mecca now and then, while you prefer to unite your hands and share your thoughts.

 

As others have said, it's all a matter of tolerance and acceptance. For what comes to children, you could try to lecture them the basics of both the Qu'ran and the Bible. Don't dig too deep into prophets and holy disciples, just stick to things such as God's and man's purpose, human morals and all that.

Edited January 16, 2016 by paperbagdude

[Gnocchi Flip Flops]

 

 

You love them for them. Not their beliefs.

 

 

The whole premise of this thread you've made is that the difference of religion is a source of conflict for individuals in a relationship.

 

Yes. But if I love someone and they have a different religious beliefs, I'm not gonna say f*ck it and move on.

[ten-a-penny]

Islam, Christianity, Judaism... who cares? All three are Abrahamic religions that builds upon worshipping the same god, Lord Almighty.

 

Thing is they do this in each their own way to the same god. It's like math. Some people approach calcusus using the appropriate techniques, while others calculate it another way around, while the rest gives up and ends up working at McDonald's.

 

Some people open their beers using a table, some use a lighter and others use an actual beer opener. Although some may point fingers at those using a method different to themselves, all parties still gets to enjoy the same cold beer.

 

Point is; you and your partner believes in the same God - and that's basically it. Your partner just prefers to bow down towards Mecca now and then, while you prefer to unite your hands and share your thoughts.

 

As others have said, it's all a matter of tolerance and acceptance. For what comes to children, you could try to lecture them the basics of both the Qu'ran and the Bible. Don't dig too deep into prophets and holy disciples, just stick to things such as God's and man's purpose, human morals and all that.

Someone build a shrine to this guy. Couldn't have said it better.

 

 

Since my best friend is a Christian, I don't care if you're Muslim (like me), Christian or, heck, Atheist. Just don't shove your beliefs down my (and possibly my children)'s ass and we will be fine.

[GTA_stu]

I can't even think of any examples of married couples with different religions. I honestly don't understand the appeal in interfaith marriage, I mean it just seems like it would pose so many problems, and like there's constantly this thing looming over you. I couldn't feel close to someone if we had such divergent views, plus I don't think I could raise my kids as Muslims or Jews or Buddhists or Hindus or whatever.

[ten-a-penny]

I can't even think of any examples of married couples with different religions. I honestly don't understand the appeal in interfaith marriage,

You mean you don't understand the concept of a person A marrying person B because he loves his partner, not because his partner follows his religion? Got it.

[gooeyhole]

I'm not religious, but a woman who comes from a religious family with some good morals is attractive to me. I'd probably be alright with it. As long as that person has a personality and isn't like, some fundamentalist drone.

 

But I'm also a white guy, I think I'd feel weird raising my children Islamic or Jewish or Hindu. So...maybe I'm saying I'd be alright marrying a Christian girl. Yikes.

Edited January 16, 2016 by Canadian Badass

[Girish]

I'm an atheist and my wife believes in god. She also believes in ghosts, astrology, witchcraft and everything else they mention in fairy tales. Thankfully, she's not obsessive about it neither does she ever insist on visiting temples and holy places. So, we're good.

[ten-a-penny]

I'm not religious, but a woman who comes from a religious family with some good morals is attractive to me. I'd probably be alright with it. As long as that person has a personality and isn't like, some fundamentalist drone.

 

But I'm also a white guy, I think I'd feel weird raising my children Islamic or Jewish or Hindu. So...maybe I'm saying I'd be alright marrying a Christian girl. Yikes.

wat

 

 

Islam =/= "dark-white/Middle East/black/anyotherracethatisn'tpalewhite". Ya know, there are Muslim Americans.

[Abel.]

I can't even think of any examples of married couples with different religions. I honestly don't understand the appeal in interfaith marriage, I mean it just seems like it would pose so many problems, and like there's constantly this thing looming over you. I couldn't feel close to someone if we had such divergent views, plus I don't think I could raise my kids as Muslims or Jews or Buddhists or Hindus or whatever.

I'm in line with this.

 

 

Jewish intermarriage causes all sorts of issues. Children born of such relationships are invariably confused and conflicted. Based on what I've seen the marriages don't tend to last as there's such a cultural disconnect. I mean if a Jewish man marries a non-Jewish woman, she will have to convert in order for the children to be born Jewish, which can be a lengthy and difficult process, and (in my view) one which intrinsically involves a change in identity. There will be a bridge between the children born of this union and their Jewish family on their father's side, one which might be impossible to cross, leaving the children alienated from a significant portion of their family. Often for these families to work one side needs to relinquish their identity, or both sides must compromise their identities to a significant degree. The Jewish father might want to teach his son about kabbalah and the responsibilities bestowed upon the Jews by the Abrahamic and Sinaitic covenants, whilst the Christian mother might want to celebrate Christmas with mince pies and a traditional roast dinner she enjoyed with her family as a girl. These are both very reasonable desires, but are ultimately irreconcilable if the children are to be raised properly with a coherent cultural framework. If the father is Jewish and the mother-non Jewish, then the children will be born with a Jewish surname, probably suffer the same bullying at school which their Jewish friends experience, will have a significant amount of Jewish relatives but not actually be Jewish. On the other hand if the mother is Jewish then the kids will be Jewish and will invariably be less connected culturally to their father's family, at least during the High Holidays.

 

Yes, the Abrahamic faiths are similar and ultimately have the same goal, but there are points on which they differ hugely. The Talmud (book of Jewish law) is considered heretical by Islam and some Christian sects; the worship of Saints conducted by Catholics is considered idolatrous by Jews, Muslims and Protestants alike; Judaism places great emphasis on the Land of Israel, even stipulating specific commandments that can only be performed in the Land of Israel or in the Temple in Jerusalem, but Islam stipulates that the Jews are not to live in the Land of Israel as a nation. Clearly the only way to reconcile these things is for the parents to either heavily water down their religious affiliation and raise their kids without religion, thus alienating themselves and their children from the rest of their respective families, or for one parent to convert (meaningfully) to the faith of the other. In the orthodox Jewish world, marrying out is fraught with difficulties. If your partner converts, this will be a difficult and often emotionally painful process involving a lot of time. If they don't convert then your children will be mamzers (bastards, basically) and familial relations will become very strained. Why put yourself and your children through that? Why force your children to choose between two cultures, never truly identifying with either? Opting to become reform or conservative Jews will mean that you aren't considered Jews by the Orthodox community, which has the final say in Israel and is actually growing in number rather than shrinking and assimilating (like the reform and conservative movements).

 

Also, there are communities such as the Indian Parsi-Zoroastrian community that are dying out due to intermarriage, and Judaism is becoming heavily skewed in the Orthodox direction due to very high rates of intermarriage amongst secular, reform and conservative Jews. It's very easy to be blase about intermarriage when you belong to a community which is not under such threat.

 

 

 

 

 

@Girish: I can see how that would work, but don't you and your wife come from a similar cultural background? I mean faith and culture are often tied very closely. A secular Jew who barely believes in God (if at all) and loves bacon sandwiches probably still had a very different cultural upbringing to a secular Christian, and both would probably have different ideas on how to raise their kids. The grandparents wouldn't be happy with the union in any case, that I can guarantee.

Edited January 26, 2016 by Failure

[Carbonox]

Well, this thread sure makes having kids in an inter-religious marriage seem like a complicated process. Good thing I'm not having any.

 

As far as relationship stuff in general goes, I suppose I'm open for a hypothetical religious partner, but I will not change my lifestyle to accommodate them, and will only participate in her community's activities if I myself feel like it. I guess there's more to it than that, but those are the main points where I'm not going to "compromise".

 

Then, however, getting back to my first point, I doubt it's easy for me to maintain a long-term relationship with anyone who's been taught to "be fruitful and multiply" since they were young...

[gooeyhole]

 

I'm not religious, but a woman who comes from a religious family with some good morals is attractive to me. I'd probably be alright with it. As long as that person has a personality and isn't like, some fundamentalist drone.

 

But I'm also a white guy, I think I'd feel weird raising my children Islamic or Jewish or Hindu. So...maybe I'm saying I'd be alright marrying a Christian girl. Yikes.

wat

 

 

Islam =/= "dark-white/Middle East/black/anyotherracethatisn'tpalewhite". Ya know, there are Muslim Americans.

 

Yeah, sorry about that. I misused the word Islamic. I wouldn't marry a Muslim woman and raise my children as Muslims, if that's a better way to put it. It's just "distant" from me, it'd be out of my comfort zone. I grew up in a Christian area, so...you can understand why.

Edited January 16, 2016 by Canadian Badass

[Chewie]

I've been in a relationship with two girls that are religious and a girl that wasn't religious. I'm not religious. I don't want someone to force a religion down my throat. My dad is Muslim and my mom is Catholic. It works.

[MyName'sJeff]

Learn to adjust with it. It's no problem at all as long as we both do our thing, and we respect each others beliefs and stuff. With my kids, I'd teach them about my religion and what it means, and if they understand and want to follow it, nice, but if not, fair enough, that's completely normal and they can do whatever they want. If they become atheists, the one thing I'd literally advice them constantly on is not to be ignorant and disrespectful to other people and their beliefs and customs since it's free will and everyone has the right to follow or believe whatever they want, and I'd definitely encourage them not to drink, smoke, get into fights or hang around with the wrong crowd.