DKI Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 (edited) The title may seems silly. But don't judge the mission by it's title. (JK) "I will protect my daughter at all cost." -Jack Thompson Intro: 1981-1996 San Fierro 1981. Crisis economy of San Andreas is getting worse as the corruption and tyranical government rules the region cities and oppress the poor people. Only Las Venturas that did not suffer under the tyranical of San Andreas governor Anas Urbaningrum. The rich getting richer and the poor getting poorer. So the only way people can survive in this state is to become as evil as their government. One of these people is Jack Thompson. A 25 years old man who has stuck in the crime life since he was teenager. He and his team have done many criminal acts for years. Until a time when they managed to steal Matsuda's belongings. Leader of Reiketsuna Kira Yakuza operating at San Fierro. The yakuza killed Jack's wife and kidnaped his 2 years old daughter. After rescued his daughter, Jack abandoned his team and fled to Las Venturas for the safety of his daughter, which is much safer than San Fierro. Then, he lives peacefully for 15 years. Until the mayor of Las Venturas that always oppose the dictatorship government, dies misteriously. Las Venturas will be the 2nd most corrupt city in San Andreas. Act 1: Back to San Fierro (1996-????) Coming soon! Jack Thompson Age: Intro: 25 years old Act 1: 40 years old Already explained in the Intro story. Erick Wright Age: Intro: 22 years old Act 1: 37 years old Jack's co-leader. And also Jack's old partner since they were teenagers. He loves money and will do anything to get as much money as possible. Tony Owens Age: Intro: 24 years old Act 1: 39 years old Strategist of the team. He's cunning and often solved the problems of the team. James Gamer Age: Intro: 21 years old Act 1: 36 years old A computer genius. Perfect at hacking. But a little idiot at socializing. Often called by Jack as 4 eyes or nerd. Matsuda Yamamoto Age: Intro: 25 years old Act 1: 40 years old Leader of Reiketsuna Kira Yakuza. Cruel, vindictive, and can't be trusted. He's also Jack's old classmate, that always bullied by Jack. Gomez Reyes Age: Unknown Former leader of San Fierro Rifa. Killed by Matsuda. More characters will be revealed soon! Reiketsuna Kira Leader: Matsuda Yamamoto Strength: High San Fierro Rifa Leader: Gomez Reyes (Deceased) Strength: Low More gangs will be revealed soon! Intro: Prologue (Jack Thompson) http://dyom.gtagames.nl/show/39170 I Quit (Jack Thompson) http://dyom.gtagames.nl/show/40118 Act 1: W.I.P. Dutchy3010 and PatrickW. for creating DYOM DKI (me) for creating the missions, and also the headers Edited January 5, 2016 by DKI The John David 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rytuklis Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 Guys, seriously, what's with the overused "government oppressor rebellion resistance guerilla hurr durr" mission packs lately? This is not ARMA for christ sakes.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DKI Posted January 5, 2016 Author Share Posted January 5, 2016 (edited) Sorry if i made a MP with that "government oppressor rebellion resistance guerilla hurr durr". I don't know if someone else made MP like that. I just thought that gangster MP is overused so i choosed this theme. It's not about fighting the dictator. The "government oppressor rebellion resistance guerilla hurr durr" is only for the story and the player will not fight against them. But if this really that overused then i will change the plot a bit since the Intro missions doesn't have government nor dictatorship words so i still have time to change it. However, i respect your opinion and i don't want to argue with you. But really, give it a try before judging the mission. Edited January 5, 2016 by DKI Hdxt_Hardluck 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hdxt_Hardluck Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 i laugh at the name cuz it means something like, you know , anywyas i'll try to give a review ASA i finish the tow mission keep it up DKI 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DKI Posted January 5, 2016 Author Share Posted January 5, 2016 (edited) ^Just making an unique name Waiting for your reviews. Edited January 5, 2016 by DKI Hdxt_Hardluck 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huzaifa khan Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 Should try this. Good luck The John David, DKI and Hdxt_Hardluck 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The John David Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 Goodluck! for this, man! Hdxt_Hardluck and DKI 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hdxt_Hardluck Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 (edited) The Prologue Writing: very good There is nothing's bad in the grammars or spelling it's just few mistakes, logical mistake, you said "enter the car instead of turk" Presentation: Very good The presentation of this MP was pretty nice and attractive , the thing i laugh hard at it, when the russain guy said "Well, that was the signal" Length: very good The mission run from 6 to 10 mins (i'm not pro GTA player but enough to shot) Difficulty: Meduim The actor accuracy meduim, i able to pass through em' easy way, the poursuit wasn't too hard too, just meduim. Variety: Very good Lot of object we see you've put, shoting, pursuits, etc... just fine I quit Writing: very good just few mistakes, but they still understandbale Presentation: Very good The presentation of this MP was pretty nice and attractive , only one bug the actor goes no where at the first cutscene? since you alredy poit that it's ok Length: very good The mission run from 6 to 8 mins (i'm not pro GTA player but enough to shot) Difficulty: easy Just easy. Variety: Very good just fine. overall i've enhoy this tow mission in such nice way just improve the bad things you've done mistakly and it will be great my rate goess 7.8/10 Edited January 5, 2016 by HardluckStyle DKI 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DKI Posted January 5, 2016 Author Share Posted January 5, 2016 (edited) Thank you so much for your rating I'll try to make my mission better. Edited January 5, 2016 by DKI Hdxt_Hardluck 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Curtis Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 Jack Thompson? I've heard that name before. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan Eastwood Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 (edited) Jack Thompson? I've heard that name before. The guy who was against gta and video game violence. Looks like he's back to take the goverment down for good. Edited January 5, 2016 by Alan Eastwood Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DKI Posted January 5, 2016 Author Share Posted January 5, 2016 I just randomly choosen that name. I swear i don't know who is the guy you talking about. Hdxt_Hardluck and The John David 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rytuklis Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 (edited) Alright, I decided to give it a shot. It was not as bad as I expected, but not good either. The first mission started nicely. I liked the use of objects. However, it was very confusing that there was completely no backstory to the mission at all. I know it's written in this topic, but i purposely ignore them when playing the mission pack to see if you get the story flow nicely, as you should also give people some hints of what's going on. There were none. All I know it was an ambush. Who were the people on my side? Why were we ambushing them? Were we a gang? A government organisation? The story flow gets a very low grade from me. i couldn't finish the mission - it kept crashing when the yakuzas start chasing us. I think it might be an overlooked DYOM bug, as I had that happen in my own missions too. As for the second mission, well, it was definitely worse. First of all, the entire mission as confusing. The only way I knew it was a nightmare is because of the description of the mission in DYOM.gtagames.nl. If I wouldn't have read that, I would have thought you're insane. The entire wife murder scene was just one big epic fail. The guys wife is murdered, and the first thing he worries about is to get his friend to take care of the body. The dialogue and monologue is so unconvincing it hurts. The shootout scene was nice, but could have used some polishing. The dialogue once again was a big pile of no no. The best part is - I couldn't finish that mission either, after killing every attacker - nothing happened. Why such a bad review? Once again - rush, rush, rush. You obviously rush your missions so you can throw them into release as soon as you can. The fact that the guy gave you 7.8 is disappointing, it just shows how much the quality of the missions have dropped. No, this mission pack is not terrible, it's okay overall, I saw worse, but this is definately not worth more than a 5. Because that's exactly how much minutes you put into your missions. Do not rush your missions, take your time to create them, add as much detail as possible, and make sure people can understand what's going on. Because I couldn't. Final score: 4/10 Amateur Edited January 5, 2016 by Rytuklis The John David 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PyThOn #TakeItEasy Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 Nice, goodluck for this (and for contest) The John David 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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