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Most Common/Funny Jet Text Messages


huckmonkey
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Tell me all your most common/annoying/funny text messages recieved while jet grieving.

 

I'll start with the ever so popular, "get outta the jet, face me on foot". OMG, nobodies ever said THAT one before.

 

I always appreciate the funnier, more creative ones, and SOMETIMES, if someone can make me laugh, i might merc them a little less.

Edited by huckmonkey
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The Lone Wanderer

can I have your hydra

 

it's a laser

 

can I have it

 

ok

 

*autocannon burst*

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DarkSavageDeathlyCloud

"Im gonna report you for grieving"

 

Im like: good luck.

 

And realy, im not a good pilot or a griever... the other guy just was a worser pilot then me and coud not finish the fight he started :p

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LieutenantLoserz

"Im gonna report you for grieving"

 

Im like: good luck.

 

And realy, im not a good pilot or a griever... the other guy just was a worser pilot then me and coud not finish the fight he started :p

This is me, except if I know their better than me I'll just kamikaze them and destroy them of foot (of course with a rhino)

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Smooth Longsack

This is the regular riff raff:

Screenshot_2015-10-01-09-29-11.png

 

This is from a guy on the level:

 

Screenshot_2015-10-01-09-24-19.png

He's in the crew now.

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Off topic I guess, but if you're one of those "all day in mah jet, go passive to get ANOTHER JET!" guys, what do you get out of it? Does seeing your k/d rise to impossible numbers give you a boner or something? The game is so much more fun when the experience is diverse. I've been in so many lobbies with dark red jets who never seem to do anything but do strafe runs on the entire lobby; personally I get bored of that sh*t within 5 minutes. Even apart from the fact that you're deliberately making the game less fun for other people, it would seem like you're making it less fun for yourself too.

 

But then I was never one of those kids who enjoyed burning ants with a magnifying glass...

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VanessaMagick

While I've got you all here, does the choice between a Hydra or Lazer matter as far as dogfighting is concerned? Is either one of them favoured?

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While I've got you all here, does the choice between a Hydra or Lazer matter as far as dogfighting is concerned? Is either one of them favoured?

 

Lazer is better in most hands. Better initial acceleration (though the Hydra beats its top speed), and more maneuverable. Those dogfighting "circles of death" will usually favor the Lazer, unless the Hydra pilot is much better.

 

The Hydra does have one interesting advantage, but I almost never see people use it. You can switch into hover mode, spin around quickly, and fire in the opposite direction of your momentum. It seems like in some circumstances that might win you a dogfight. But your opponent would have to be in just the right place, and like I said, I can't remember ever seeing anyone take advantage of this. Most people fly a Hydra like a clumsier Lazer, or they hover too much and get shot down immediately. You'd really need to just go in and out of hover mode quickly and briefly.

Edited by Nutduster
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Smooth Longsack

Off topic I guess, but if you're one of those "all day in mah jet, go passive to get ANOTHER JET!" guys, what do you get out of it? Does seeing your k/d rise to impossible numbers give you a boner or something? The game is so much more fun when the experience is diverse.

I'm in the jet alot but it's definitely not all i do. On my main profile I'll almost always let the bereaved got a shot at revenge on the ground. It depends on the severity of the crew battle going on. I guess I'm halfway expected to be in a jet when crew beef starts up. Having air superiority makes for an easy ground shift.

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VanessaMagick

 

Off topic I guess, but if you're one of those "all day in mah jet, go passive to get ANOTHER JET!" guys, what do you get out of it? Does seeing your k/d rise to impossible numbers give you a boner or something? The game is so much more fun when the experience is diverse.

I'm in the jet alot but it's definitely not all i do. On my main profile I'll almost always let the bereaved got a shot at revenge on the ground. It depends on the severity of the crew battle going on. I guess I'm halfway expected to be in a jet when crew beef starts up. Having air superiority makes for an easy ground shift.

 

 

Ah, I miss my old crew... one of them always called me Angel, 'cause every time there was a crew battle or deathmatch I'd always be climbing the nearest building with my sniper rifle... half the time they didn't even know I was there until some unwitting player got domed in front of them. Can't do that as well now with the marksman rifle and bulletproof helmets and all, but it was still a good time.

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While I've got you all here, does the choice between a Hydra or Lazer matter as far as dogfighting is concerned? Is either one of them favoured?

Tha lazer is better for dogfighting imo. The hydra just doesnt have the speed or agility.

 

OT-Last night some guy was going on and on about how I was a jet pussy and I never even killed him in the jet lol

I was beating him 7-4 on foot though he insisted for some reason he was up on me 12-7. During the fight a jet came along and killed me. So I left the fight with him to get a jet and go after the jet guy. Right away this guy started with the jet pussy stuff. The second I got a jet he teleported to his apartment and for about half hour messaged me constantly how he was winning 12-7 and telling me what a pussy I was for getting in a jet. My responce is usually.."its not my fault you suck at flying, go practice".This pisses players off to no end because in most cases it is true. They end up spending their whole time in the lobby either in passive, or hiding somewhere till they eventually leave the lobby with their tail between their legs haha

Edited by StangOne50
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VanessaMagick

 

While I've got you all here, does the choice between a Hydra or Lazer matter as far as dogfighting is concerned? Is either one of them favoured?

Tha lazer is better for dogfighting imo. The hydra just doesnt have the speed or agility.

 

OT-Last night some guy was going on and on about how I was a jet pussy and I never even killed him in the jet lol

I was beating him 7-4 on foot though he insisted for some reason he was up on me 12-7. During the fight a jet came along and killed me. So I left the fight with him to get a jet and go after the jet guy. Right away this guy started with the jet pussy stuff. The second I got a jet he teleported to his apartment and for about half hour messaged me constantly how he was winning 12-7 and telling me what a pussy I was for getting in a jet. My responce is usually.."its not my fault you suck at flying, go practice".This pisses players off to no end because in most cases it is true. They up spending their whole time in the lobby either in passive, or hiding somewhere till they eventually leave the lobby with their tail between their legs haha

 

 

I've been told this a lot when I've made casual complaints about jet griefers and the like. They said that to effectively kill people in a jet takes a lot of skill and it's nowhere as easy as it looks. And I believed them. Made sense to me. 'til one stage, where I tried it out myself, and it's easy as hell. Fly up, nose-dive down, two missiles, cannon spray, level out, dodge missile, repeat. Over and over. Racked up like 20 kills before I hated myself too much and bailed.

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I think i should dust off my Besra and see how it fares against Hydras.

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Off topic I guess, but if you're one of those "all day in mah jet, go passive to get ANOTHER JET!" guys, what do you get out of it? Does seeing your k/d rise to impossible numbers give you a boner or something? The game is so much more fun when the experience is diverse.

I'm in the jet alot but it's definitely not all i do. On my main profile I'll almost always let the bereaved got a shot at revenge on the ground. It depends on the severity of the crew battle going on. I guess I'm halfway expected to be in a jet when crew beef starts up. Having air superiority makes for an easy ground shift.

 

 

Ahhh. Crew battles are a different story. I don't even think of that as griefing - once it is an open war between two sides of 4+ people, you just do whatever you can to win. If you don't, they will.

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Smooth Longsack

 

 

Off topic I guess, but if you're one of those "all day in mah jet, go passive to get ANOTHER JET!" guys, what do you get out of it? Does seeing your k/d rise to impossible numbers give you a boner or something? The game is so much more fun when the experience is diverse.

I'm in the jet alot but it's definitely not all i do. On my main profile I'll almost always let the bereaved got a shot at revenge on the ground. It depends on the severity of the crew battle going on. I guess I'm halfway expected to be in a jet when crew beef starts up. Having air superiority makes for an easy ground shift.

 

Ahhh. Crew battles are a different story. I don't even think of that as griefing - once it is an open war between two sides of 4+ people, you just do whatever you can to win. If you don't, they will.

Ikr! Being in a good/active crew makes all the difference in this game.

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While I've got you all here, does the choice between a Hydra or Lazer matter as far as dogfighting is concerned? Is either one of them favoured?

Tha lazer is better for dogfighting imo. The hydra just doesnt have the speed or agility.

 

OT-Last night some guy was going on and on about how I was a jet pussy and I never even killed him in the jet lol

I was beating him 7-4 on foot though he insisted for some reason he was up on me 12-7. During the fight a jet came along and killed me. So I left the fight with him to get a jet and go after the jet guy. Right away this guy started with the jet pussy stuff. The second I got a jet he teleported to his apartment and for about half hour messaged me constantly how he was winning 12-7 and telling me what a pussy I was for getting in a jet. My responce is usually.."its not my fault you suck at flying, go practice".This pisses players off to no end because in most cases it is true. They up spending their whole time in the lobby either in passive, or hiding somewhere till they eventually leave the lobby with their tail between their legs haha

 

 

I've been told this a lot when I've made casual complaints about jet griefers and the like. They said that to effectively kill people in a jet takes a lot of skill and it's nowhere as easy as it looks. And I believed them. Made sense to me. 'til one stage, where I tried it out myself, and it's easy as hell. Fly up, nose-dive down, two missiles, cannon spray, level out, dodge missile, repeat. Over and over. Racked up like 20 kills before I hated myself too much and bailed.

 

 

You may have a natural inclination for it. It took me a fair amount of jet flying to "get gud." I used to crash a lot - for a long time it was hard to get close enough to the ground to use the guns without nose-diving into asphalt, and the missiles used to be basically worthless against players unless they were in aircraft (the lock onto player-driven cars is a recent addition which makes jet griefing a lot easier).

 

I'd say the main thing that takes some learning is how to target players on the ground if they're not in a car, or otherwise easy to spot (e.g. firing off flares, or more likely, homing rockets at you). Figuring out how to hit a target that you can't really see 90% of the time, based solely on the minimap, is definitely a skill. That's another thing that the car lock-on made easier - you can use the missiles just to identify which vehicle they're in, then switch to guns to take them out. That's easy compared to when you had to use the minimap and identity the car using nothing but your eyeballs.

Edited by Nutduster
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VanessaMagick

 

 

 

While I've got you all here, does the choice between a Hydra or Lazer matter as far as dogfighting is concerned? Is either one of them favoured?

Tha lazer is better for dogfighting imo. The hydra just doesnt have the speed or agility.

 

OT-Last night some guy was going on and on about how I was a jet pussy and I never even killed him in the jet lol

I was beating him 7-4 on foot though he insisted for some reason he was up on me 12-7. During the fight a jet came along and killed me. So I left the fight with him to get a jet and go after the jet guy. Right away this guy started with the jet pussy stuff. The second I got a jet he teleported to his apartment and for about half hour messaged me constantly how he was winning 12-7 and telling me what a pussy I was for getting in a jet. My responce is usually.."its not my fault you suck at flying, go practice".This pisses players off to no end because in most cases it is true. They up spending their whole time in the lobby either in passive, or hiding somewhere till they eventually leave the lobby with their tail between their legs haha

 

 

I've been told this a lot when I've made casual complaints about jet griefers and the like. They said that to effectively kill people in a jet takes a lot of skill and it's nowhere as easy as it looks. And I believed them. Made sense to me. 'til one stage, where I tried it out myself, and it's easy as hell. Fly up, nose-dive down, two missiles, cannon spray, level out, dodge missile, repeat. Over and over. Racked up like 20 kills before I hated myself too much and bailed.

 

 

You may have a natural inclination for it. It took me a fair amount of jet flying to "get gud." I used to crash a lot - for a long time it was hard to get close enough to the ground to use the guns without nose-diving into asphalt, and the missiles used to be basically worthless against players unless they were in aircraft (the lock onto player-driven cars is a recent addition which makes jet griefing a lot easier).

 

I'd say the main thing that takes some learning is how to target players on the ground if they're not in a car, or otherwise easy to spot (e.g. firing off flares, or more likely, homing rockets at you). Figuring out how to hit a target that you can't really see 90% of the time, based solely on the minimap, is definitely a skill. That's another thing that the car lock-on made easier - you can use the missiles just to identify which vehicle they're in, then switch to guns to take them out. That's easy compared to when you had to use the minimap and identity the car using nothing but your eyeballs.

 

 

I honestly don't see it. Even when they're standing in a wide open field or something I can almost always judge their exact spot just by the minimap alone. I'm not particularly perceptive and I've never been the best jet flier... I don't really think it's a natural talent.

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Sounds natural to me. Took me till rank 400 to get decent in the jet and im still learning lol

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I honestly don't see it. Even when they're standing in a wide open field or something I can almost always judge their exact spot just by the minimap alone. I'm not particularly perceptive and I've never been the best jet flier... I don't really think it's a natural talent.

 

 

Trust me - it's easy for you but the majority of people can't do it. I've had so many players (usually lower levels, 90 or below) try griefing me in jets and fail hard at it. They miss every strafe, even when I'm not moving, and usually crash after 3 or 4 passes. Hell, most pilots can't even stay airborne for more than a few minutes unless they stay up in the clouds.

 

Even among decent pilots, there's a skill curve present. Some people are just much better than others at lining you up and taking you out in jet vs. jet battles. I consider myself a pretty good pilot, now, but I've run across a few guys that I just could not seem to get the better of.

 

I guess what I'm saying is - the jet is definitely OP and I think it's a problem for the game, but that doesn't negate the fact that it does take some skill to use successfully, and there is a skill gap inherent in it as well.

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Can't say i've been taken out of the skies in a Laser yet (never been in a Hydra). Closest call was after id sniped 3 'bikers' since one of them ran me over and they proceeded to chase me up to Paleto where I stopped by the side of the road and picked them all off again. They then took it in turns to try and get into Zancudo which I had great fun in watching from a distance before eventually I had to roll off the mountain and get myself a jet to get one of them out of the sky, suffered a bent wing for my troubles.

 

I then took great pleasure in blowing the f*ck out of all 3 until they left.

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Smooth Longsack

 

 

I then took great pleasure in blowing the f*ck out of all 3 until they left.

U did wut, m8?!

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VanessaMagick

 

 

 

I then took great pleasure in blowing the f*ck out of all 3 until they left.

U did wut, m8?!

 

 

He took great pleasure in blowing the f*ck out of all 3 until they left.

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Crunch McThornbody

I think i should dust off my Besra and see how it fares against Hydras.

I managed to get two Lazer pilots to bail when chasing them in my Besra because they got so spooked how good I was at tailing them. But if they were any good with the cannon I'd have been shot down easy.

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While I've got you all here, does the choice between a Hydra or Lazer matter as far as dogfighting is concerned? Is either one of them favoured?

 

Lazer is better in most hands. Better initial acceleration (though the Hydra beats its top speed), and more maneuverable. Those dogfighting "circles of death" will usually favor the Lazer, unless the Hydra pilot is much better.

 

The Hydra does have one interesting advantage, but I almost never see people use it. You can switch into hover mode, spin around quickly, and fire in the opposite direction of your momentum. It seems like in some circumstances that might win you a dogfight. But your opponent would have to be in just the right place, and like I said, I can't remember ever seeing anyone take advantage of this. Most people fly a Hydra like a clumsier Lazer, or they hover too much and get shot down immediately. You'd really need to just go in and out of hover mode quickly and briefly.

 

 

My impression from videos of people doing this is that it's an immense risk to take. Succeed and you've pulled off something cool and flipped the table, fail and you lose all momentum and become a sitting duck waiting to explode.

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I'll start with the ever so popular, "get outta the jet, face me on foot". OMG, nobodies ever said THAT one before.

 

I always appreciate the funnier, more creative ones, and SOMETIMES, if someone can make me laugh, i might merc them a little less.

 

57242424.jpg

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A Madvillain

I Marksman Rifled a Hydra while he was in VTOL mode. I assumed the guy noticed he was under fire because he then changed to Jet Mode only for him to crash the building he was facing as a result of not pulling up in time. The killfeed says I killed him. I assumed he was German because of the in-game text message he sent, all I understood was the "!" at the end of his sentence and my response was simple. "Nein."

 

He left.

Edited by Zer0's n' 1nes
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I was in a jet the other night and this kid kept sending me messages cause I kept killing him and his friend at the airport

 

ypDIS8S.png?1

 

"cheater you f*ckEN cheaten pussy"

"no fight me like a man pussy"

"SUCK MY DICK f*ckER"

 

Then he started sending me voice messages and he sounded like a 12-year-old with mental deficits. Turns out he was 14. He went on to say that I was cheating, that I sucked, that I needed to "suck his balls" lmao. I invited him to our party and he kept talking sh*t. My friend said he would fist fight him and every time my friend won the fist fight he would play the f*cking John Cena song. I was dying and the kid had no idea what was going on. Just continued talking sh*t but I couldn't take anything he said seriously with the way he was talking.

 

When I crashed my jet I fought him and his friend on foot and the first time he killed me it was 1-22 and his friend was 2-17. Then he said he had to go to sleep and left. Funny that he continued to talk sh*t and was getting his ass whooped but wouldn't leave the party. It was too amusing to kick him from it. :)

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