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Stupid/funny things that non-technical people have said/done?


SarahPilko
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Inspired by http://gtaforums.com/topic/790972-dumbest-things-youve-heard-non-car-people-say/

 

---

 

Showing my mother something new I have bought in my office

 

"Sarah, how did you afford two computers?"

"No mum, it is one computer with two monitors..."

"How can you look at two monitors at once?"

This was not the first time she asked, like every time she comes to visit, she asks these kind of questions... :lol:

 

---

 

My friend wanted to try The Sims 4 before buying it so I took my game and went to her house and installed it on her laptop, even I know the specifications were bad enough, of course it failed to start

 

"Would it work if I went and buy the game myself?"

 

The same person who thinks HP Pavilion is the only brand that have good laptops.

 

No, I am not even kidding.

 

---

 

I walked into my father's bedroom writing everything in Polish on paper

 

"What are you doing, Dad?"

"Writing from English to Polish" *looking at google translate*

"You know you can copy and paste, right?"

 

---

 

I was in a public library as I wanted to print a document off and I could not login my account. I called a staff member over and asked her if the system was down and this random lady came over and tried to tell me to login with capital letters as username, I told her that it was not case sensitive, she looked at me like I was from a different planet. She was very adamant and tried over and over to login for me. After a good ten times of trying, she realised that the system was down.

 

---

 

My mother still thinks a good computer is based off the amount of RAM, basically the only thing she knows about, or thinks she knows about.

 

---

 

A few years when I was living at home, my mother went crazy when I installed Mozilla Firefox on the family computer. She thought it was a virus and tried to blame it for the reason why the computer was slow.

 

---

 

For Christmas like six years ago, I asked my father if he could get me a laptop for my college studies and that I pick the laptop. He went out and bought me a terrible pink laptop because he thought I like pink. Thankfully, I was grateful lol ,could be better, it struggled to run Photoshop, which I was working with at the time :p

 

---

 

When I was 8 years old in early 2001, I was out in town with my parents looking for a computer, I picked a computer simply because it had Pinball on it. A few years later, I discovered that Pinball was a game application on Windows.

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Found this on another forum :p

 

 

 

This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for 'Termination without Cause.'

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):

 

Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'

Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'

Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'

Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words

Went away.'

Operator: 'Went away?'

Caller: 'They disappeared'

Operator: 'Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?'

Caller: 'Nothing.'

Operator: 'Nothing??'

Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'

Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?'

Caller: 'How do I tell?'

Operator: 'Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen?'

Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'

Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'

Caller: 'There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I

type.'

Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator?'

Caller: 'What's a monitor?'

Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?'

Caller: 'I don't know.'

Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where

The power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'

Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'

Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's

Plugged into the wall.

Caller: 'Yes, it is.'

Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that

there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just

one? '

Caller: 'No.'

Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and

find the other cable.'

Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'

Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into

the back of your computer.'

Caller: 'I can't reach.'

Operator: 'OK. Well, can you see if it is?'

Caller: 'No.'

Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean

way over?'

Caller: 'Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's

because it's dark.'

Operator: 'Dark?'

Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is

coming in from the window.'

Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'

Caller: 'I can't.'

Operator: 'No? Why not?'

Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'

Operator: 'A power ... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your computer came in?'

Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'

Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'

Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'

Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'

Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?'

Operator: 'Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!'

 

 

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Found this on another forum :p

 

 

 

This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for 'Termination without Cause.'

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):

 

Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'

Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'

Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'

Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words

Went away.'

Operator: 'Went away?'

Caller: 'They disappeared'

Operator: 'Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?'

Caller: 'Nothing.'

Operator: 'Nothing??'

Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'

Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?'

Caller: 'How do I tell?'

Operator: 'Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen?'

Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'

Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'

Caller: 'There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I

type.'

Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator?'

Caller: 'What's a monitor?'

Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?'

Caller: 'I don't know.'

Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where

The power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'

Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'

Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's

Plugged into the wall.

Caller: 'Yes, it is.'

Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that

there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just

one? '

Caller: 'No.'

Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and

find the other cable.'

Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'

Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into

the back of your computer.'

Caller: 'I can't reach.'

Operator: 'OK. Well, can you see if it is?'

Caller: 'No.'

Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean

way over?'

Caller: 'Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's

because it's dark.'

Operator: 'Dark?'

Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is

coming in from the window.'

Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'

Caller: 'I can't.'

Operator: 'No? Why not?'

Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'

Operator: 'A power ... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your computer came in?'

Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'

Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'

Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'

Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'

Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?'

Operator: 'Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!'

 

 

In the original story the part beyond "there's a power outage" is just what he wishes he could say.

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-Bro,if I install Windows 10 32 bit two times will I get 64 bit ?

-Yeah,sure and you will get Windows 20 :p

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"Why would you even need a gaming PC? You have an iPad and a laptop, they're just as good."

Edited by Mr. Fahrenheit
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Me: Dude what are the specs of your PC?

Friend: How about yours?

Me: *tells him my PC specs*

Friend: That's one sh*t PC. It only has 4 GB RAM. I bet games lag on it.

Me: *wtf*

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Back in my school days I use to have to get out of my chair a lot and help the teachers use their computer because Windows XP and 7 Were too hard for them.

 

 

Teacher - So How Do I put Microsoft word in the background?

Me - Do you see that ( - ) Button? Click it

Teacher - What - button?

Me - Top right of your screen

Teacher Moves mouse over the Red X (Is this it?)

Me - Nope, move your mouse to the left a little bit

Teacher - Ah there we go

 

Old Friend of mine

Me - What's your internet speed?

Friend - 3 Megabytes

Me - Do you mean "Megabits"?

Friend - Nope, Definitely Megabytes, I can totally download a 3 megabyte file in 3 minuets".

 

Friend (Not So Technical)

Friend - What's this so called RAM? Do you own a ram now?

Me - No, You must be getting mixed up between an animal and a computer part

Friend - Last I checked Ram was a kind of animal. But can I put ram into my computer?

Me - Yes and no, It has to be a special kind of ram, not the live one as that definitely won't fit inside the computer.

Friend - Can I just go to a farm and bring a ram home and see if it will make my computer work?

 

At that point i stopped there and change conversation as it doesn't look like he was understanding my terms, I tried to not be technical either but that failed of course :/

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I've met too many people that buy "gaming" laptops and then are very disappointed with the results later on.. even with a warning, nothing helps.

 

"Gaming laptops are faster and have better cooling"

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  • 2 weeks later...

Was just at AT&T, while my sister and my mom were dealing with getting her new iPhone 6+ (bleh) I was looking at the s6 edge plus and note 5, as they are my dream phones, behind me was an older couple and they were discussing the woman's broken iPhone, I moved to look at the iPhones which were next to the gadgets and the couple came up and asked me what I was just looking at, I told them they are the new Samsung phones...

 

"Samsung makes phones?"

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So yeeeah this computer can absolutely high end games on Ultra settings...Your son will love it i promise...

 

Sales clerk @ Best Buy showing parents an all-in-one desktop as they were looking for a gaming computer to get their son for his birthday...

Edited by AiraCobra
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"The laptop isn't overheating because of the game, it's just the surface area. There's a cloth on the table."

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I don't blame him for believing that, though. Most workers at T-Mobile stores these days don't have a clue about the devices they're selling..

Edited by Android
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Granddad - "Can ye come oor son? Ah need yer help wi ma video player."

 

Me - "Aye, I'll be there in 5 minutes".

 

*Gets to granddads house*

 

Grandad - "See, am trying tae watch this film, but it's no workin when ah pit it in the player".

 

Me - "It's a DVD, a disk. It's not going to work in a VHS, those are for cassettes, you need a DVD player".

 

Granddad - "What's a DVD?"

 

I got him a DVD player as an early Christmas present that year.

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My dad when a USB stick for a Microsoft Word document.

 

"Son, I bought this USB stick to save my Word documents on it, is 16GB enough?"

"Yes, it's fine"

 

Me in my head: "LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL you can save FHD porn on it!!"

Edited by SilverRST
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So yeeeah this computer can absolutely high end games on Ultra settings...Your son will love it i promise...

 

Sales clerk @ Best Buy showing parents an all-in-one desktop as they were looking for a gaming computer to get their son for his birthday...

 

 

Best Buy don't train their employees for sh*t. lol

 

 

 

My brother and I was looking at their home entertainment receivers one time (probably August of last year). An employee came over to us and asked if we wanted some help. My brother asked if they're going to get in receivers with HDMI 2.0 ports (4k @60fps) and he goes on saying, "there won't be any." with a demanding tone. So my brother said, "ha, there will be for 4k streaming" and he goes on stating he bought a receiver that can already do that. Except he has no idea that 1.4 and older can only send 4k at 24fps compress. lmao, Then my brother 'pft' at him and just walked away saying, "yea I don't know about that..." Pretty sure we left him wondering wtf just happened and probably had to google it. lols

 

 

How can an employee working in the electronics department not know about the new technology coming???

 

Lo and behold, my brother didn't buy a receiver from there. :p

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So yeeeah this computer can absolutely high end games on Ultra settings...Your son will love it i promise...

 

Sales clerk @ Best Buy showing parents an all-in-one desktop as they were looking for a gaming computer to get their son for his birthday...

 

 

Best Buy don't train their employees for sh*t. lol

 

 

 

My brother and I was looking at their home entertainment receivers one time (probably August of last year). An employee came over to us and asked if we wanted some help. My brother asked if they're going to get in receivers with HDMI 2.0 ports (4k @60fps) and he goes on saying, "there won't be any." with a demanding tone. So my brother said, "ha, there will be for 4k streaming" and he goes on stating he bought a receiver that can already do that. Except he has no idea that 1.4 and older can only send 4k at 24fps compress. lmao, Then my brother 'pft' at him and just walked away saying, "yea I don't know about that..." Pretty sure we left him wondering wtf just happened and probably had to google it. lols

 

 

How can an employee working in the electronics department not know about the new technology coming???

 

Lo and behold, my brother didn't buy a receiver from there. :p

 

Funny thing is, Whenver i go into Best Buy and i'm greeted by a younger worker they don't have a clue what they're talking about but whenever i run into an older person in their 60+ they know what they're talking about and are actually helpful.

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  • 1 month later...

"Iphones are better than Androids cause they cost more"

 

"Piracy is a sin" according to some utter prick on the God Channel I was flicking past.

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