The Unofficial I Love Karen Daniels Thread

[ChromeAdderFTW]

uwotm8?

 

Niko has rekkd her with his Bellic...

[Mach1bud]

uwotm8?

 

Niko has rekkd her with his Bellic...

Good. I need a new bowling alley.

[slimeball supreme]

uwotm8?

 

Niko has rekkd her with his Bellic...

Ravaged her like no other.

It looked like she had been in a car crash.

 

 

Literally, her car smashed into a light pole.

[NEGAKOARL]

Sad thread

[LieutenantLoserz]

 

 

 

11 pages into this thread and nobody posted some 18+ fanfiction about her yet. WHY THE HELL NOT?!

Say no more

 

Karen crouched back into the shadows, planning her attack. The odds were 5 to 1 against her...just the way she liked it. As the heavily-armed mooks yammered on about their cars and their expensive suits and their cheap kills, she was reminded of an old quote, "So many guns in this town, so few brains..."

 

She hefted her flashlight in her hand, and tensed for action. In a few minutes, there would be a lot of screaming, and five fewer virgins in Los Santos.

 

As she sodomized them, a 6th one came, and he was masked, Karen went to finished the job, but then she heard him say "bitch" and she knew who it was. She put her flashlight down and unmasked him, seeing it was Niko. She felt so surprised to see Niko, but then she realized, Niko came here to kill her, she went for her flashlight, but it was too late, The flashlight was gone, and Niko was too, she stood there im horror knowing what was coming next. The camera panned away, and all you hear is a scream of pleasure and horror

After that Karen returned to sodomizing men, she vowed that one day, Niko will get his 18 inches of revenge, she went AWOL, and returned to Liberty City, searching for her rival

[saintsrow]

11 pages into this thread and nobody posted some 18+ fanfiction about her yet. WHY THE HELL NOT?!

[snip]

Now please write some erotic literature for me, if you would be so kind... *grabs popcorn*

OK. fanfiction


The Karen saga continues begins …

 

 

 

A Life of Danger

Starring Karen Daniels

Narrated by O. P. Lovelorn

 

 

 

CHAPTER 1: The Housesitting Gig

 

My name is O. P. Lovelorn, but that doesn’t matter. What matters is my story, the story of my brief encounter with the girl of my dreams. I don’t know her real name, but she told me to call her Karen.

It was two months ago. I was down on my luck. For a while, I was working a decent job as a stagehand at Richards Majestic studios. Long hours, but it paid well. Then one day, some asshole named Michael somebody shows up on set, acting like he owns the place, and I made the mistake of not kissing his ass. He punched me in the gut and told me he was my f*ckin’ boss, and to make sure I remember it. Well, I forgot it, and next day, I was on the street with no job, and my name at the top of the blacklist – the list titled, “You’ll never work in this town again.”

So I needed a place to crash, and to figure out how to get back on the gravy train. In this town, it’s all about the almighty dollar. I didn’t want to end up turning tricks in the restroom stalls at Cockatoo’s.

I logged onto LifeInvader and started looking for ads for roommates. I found one pretty quick, some hot-looking 30-something chick with the screen name StraightOuttaLibertyCity (man, you should see her bikini pix on her LifeInvader page – holy sh*t – I was already in love!!). Anyway, it was an even better deal than I expected – she just needed somebody to house-sit her place, since she did a lot of field work and only stopped in at the house once a week or so.

Karen's housesitting ad:

 

 

I met her there, that afternoon. It was a little bungalow on the canals at Vespucci Beach. She told me her name was Karen, but she said that it didn’t matter – it’s just a name. Anyway, she said all I had to do was get the groceries, take in the mail, keep a low profile, don’t make waves, don’t bring over any guests, and I could chill there. Score! And her voice, her demeanor, giving me orders with that clipped, authoritarian speech – damn! What a woman – talk about a ballbreaker – just the kind of woman I like.

 

The Vespucci canals bungalow:

 

 

Something about the way she described the job made me think this was some kind of safehouse or something; just that veiled hint of potential danger, but it didn’t matter to me. No way I was gonna lose this gig. I was hooked like a fish being reeled in at Pleasure Pier.

It almost went sideways. While she was handing me the key to the place, she saw me ogling her tits, my pupils fully dilated with unrestrained lust. Suddenly the full force was right there in my face. With a look that could crush granite, and a tone of voice that goosed my gonads like they’ve never been goosed before, she said, “Don’t get any ideas, you little prick. You think you’ve got a shot at me, you’ll find out the hard way that you’re sadly mistaken. You’ve got one job – keep this place ready for me, because when I get here, I don’t want any surprises, and I don’t want any lame-ass horn-dog jizzing on my sheets, or sniffing my panties in the dirty laundry basket.”

At this point I was so smitten, I was almost speechless. Karen was the woman of my dreams!

She reached over to the kitchen counter and grabbed a huge-ass cop-style flashlight standing there. She continued, “I’ll use this little toy to make you sorry you ever had a horny thought coursing through your involuntary nervous system. Don’t f*ck up on me, or you’ll end up in a wheelchair, sucking soup through a soda straw, for the rest of your life.”

Whoa. What a woman!

“Hey, no problemo,” I stammered. “I’m cool, got it covered. Keep the fridge filled, bring in the mail. I got it.” I gave her a big stupid smile, and accepted the house key with my shivering hand, and she put the flashlight in a tote bag on her shoulder. It took every ounce of willpower I had, not to fall to my knees and blurt out, right then, “I love you, Karen!!!”

 

So things went along fine for a couple of months. She only stopped in about four times, stayed a couple of nights each time, straight to her room with hardly a word, muffled conversations on radios and her cell phone, and then she was gone again, no word on where, or how long. Those nights when she was there, in her bed, mere feet away from me, through a closed (and locked) door, were torturous, as I tried unsuccessfully to sleep on the sofa, while I imagined her there in her bed sleeping, breathing, sweating into the sheets. I kept hoping, hoping, that housesitting would somehow turn into face-sitting. But no such luck.... Sighhhhh…

As soon as she was gone, of course, I slept in her bed, snuggled my face into her pillows and her sheets all night, fantasizing about her and whacking off, until I was exhausted. The next morning, I rubbed her dirty laundry all over my naked body in a paroxysm of love. But I took everything down to the laundromat and made it like new, as part of my housesitting routine, so she never gave me the flashlight treatment.

-- -- --

So now it’s another beautiful, warm afternoon in Los Santos, I’m just sitting here on the deck of her bungalow, lazily looking toward the bright sand of Vespucci Beach, dreaming lustfully and lovingly about Karen, and wondering when she will stop by again, and will I ever get a chance to see her in that bikini, down on the beach...

O. P.'s daydream of Karen... sigh ...

 

 

Suddenly, I hear tires screeching outside in the alley behind the bungalow. Karen comes running in, sweaty and in a big hurry, obviously having just run from some kind of dangerous situation. She’s wearing a brown leather jacket and some ass-hugging white jeans. Yeeeeeowww! And I’m thinking, she must have been running a while -- can you imagine how sexy her feet would be after running away like that? Whoa. I’m in love…

I get up to say, “Do you need some help?” but she ignores me completely and hauls ass into her bedroom, pulling a huge locked gun case from behind some fake drawers in the closet. I just stand there in the kitchen. I just want to help. She doesn’t even look at me. As she is wrestling around the gun case, she just mutters, “Those f*cking FIB clowns…I’ll deal with them later…I hope those fools got away with the key codes. Sh*t!”

Karen hauls the gun case out to the kitchen, and then she suddenly stops and opens the fridge, reaching for a beer. As she bends down, I notice her beautiful tight ass in those jeans, and I think about pounding her like a pile driver, as she cries out in ecstasy, one of the many thoughts that has obsessed me for the two months since I first saw and heard her. My heart flutters!!

By this time, my jaw has dropped to the floor, as she turns around to me and quickly chugs half the bottle of beer. "Ahhhhhhh..," she sighs. She hands the bottle to me, [to me !!!!] and I don’t waste a second – I take a swig, from the bottle that just touched her sweet, sweet lips – gasp – tasting her… I’m so in looooove!!!

Karen turns and opens a kitchen drawer, and grabs the keys to an SUV she has parked in the garage downstairs. Then, as she is headed out the door, lugging her gun case, she turns around to me and says, “You see that Panto in the alley? I had to jack it. All there were on the street were f*cking Pantos. God damn this town."

She goes on, “So now you’ve got a job to do. You can’t stay here. F*cking FIB will be closing in. I want you to drive that piece of sh*t Panto to Paleto Bay and ditch it. Drive it into the ocean, tonight, after dark. No lights. And then get out of it.” She pauses, “Obviously.”

 

 

The Panto that had to be ditched:

 

I can hardly speak, things are moving so fast. I don’t want her to go. A dry croak from my throat...I stammer, “But, but, where are you going? W-will I ever see you again?”

“Maybe. I’ll call you. I have another safehouse in Paleto Bay, but you can’t go there yet. We’ve got to lose the heat.” [she said “we !!!” She said “we !!!” Ahhhhhhhhh!!! I’m in looooove!!!] “Later, I’ll let you know where it is. I’m gonna have to use that Paleto safehouse soon, now that this one’s blown, so I still need your housesitting expertise. It’s hard to find good help these days.”

I’m overwhelmed. I’m dazed. She turns back to the door, her momentum building, and then she abruptly stops one more time. She turns, and everything stops, sudden silence, only the sound of seagulls cawing and squawking from the beach. We’re standing there in the sunlit kitchen, with the atmosphere between us pulled tight by her adrenaline and my white hot lust and love … and for just one short, fateful moment, her ice cold ballbreaker demeanor goes soft, and she looks me in the eye and says, “O.P., you’re OK." The words my heart has longed to hear....

She continues, "Good luck getting to Paleto. Be careful.” Then she tilts her head slightly and actually smiles, a beautiful, confident kind of a smirk, that lets me know that she is completely in charge, back on top, and she has it all figured out. She says softly, “Be seeing you, O. P.“

 

 

 

Stay tuned for Chapter 2 !

Edited December 21, 2017 by saintsrow

[Redwood Cigarettes]

Wait, this thread is deadly serious isn't it!?

 

Oh dear..

[slimeball supreme]

Wait, this thread is deadly serious isn't it!?

 

Oh dear..

Im not, thank god.

 

 

uwotm8?

Niko has rekkd her with his Bellic...

Good. I need a new bowling alley.

[nik_west]

This tread just good interesting. Thanks saintsrow

Edited August 19, 2015 by nik_west

[Nah nah nah Gta 6]

Me when I see this thread.

[CountySheriff]

This is the dumbest thread I think I've ever read on GTA FORUMS.

 

 

It needs a lock.

[Knight_Teutonic]

The ones bitching and whining about this thread should develop the habit of not clicking everything they see.

If you hate the karen fanfiction, what are you doing here?

[Nah nah nah Gta 6]

The ones bitching and whining about this thread should develop the habit of not clicking everything they see.

If you hate the karen fanfiction, what are you doing here?

We're not going to tolerate this crap, GTAF is not the place for this.

[Knight_Teutonic]

 

The ones bitching and whining about this thread should develop the habit of not clicking everything they see.

If you hate the karen fanfiction, what are you doing here?

We're not going to tolerate this crap, GTAF is not the place for this.

 

I shouldn't defend this thread so viciously, it's weird, but I see no shenanigans here.

 

But do you have mod powers to decide what should be locked and what should be not?

Otherwise you're just one of these bootlickers who worship mods with this holier-than-thou nonsense.

Edited August 19, 2015 by Knight_Teutonic

[nik_west]

The ones bitching and whining about this thread should develop the habit of not clicking everything they see.

If you hate the karen fanfiction, what are you doing here?

I agree. If you figured out, that this thread isn't for you, then why are you still coming back?

Yes, this is GTAF and this thread is about a GTA character and the fictional stories are set in Los Santos. It's not like we discuss COD or Battlefield over here.

 

Should this thread getting locked, then at least we had fun while it lasted...

[Mach1bud]

 

The ones bitching and whining about this thread should develop the habit of not clicking everything they see.

If you hate the karen fanfiction, what are you doing here?

We're not going to tolerate this crap, GTAF is not the place for this.

I believe a thread for the appreciation of a major GTA character certainly belongs here at GTAF over any other forums.

[Nah nah nah Gta 6]

 

 

The ones bitching and whining about this thread should develop the habit of not clicking everything they see.

If you hate the karen fanfiction, what are you doing here?

We're not going to tolerate this crap, GTAF is not the place for this.

I believe a thread for the appreciation of a major GTA character certainly belongs here at GTAF over any other forums.

 

True but this is just plain cringy and creepy.

 

I was thinking of DeviantART of fanfiction.net would be the place for this thread, forums aren't the only websites.

[Mach1bud]

 

 

 

The ones bitching and whining about this thread should develop the habit of not clicking everything they see.

If you hate the karen fanfiction, what are you doing here?

We're not going to tolerate this crap, GTAF is not the place for this.

I believe a thread for the appreciation of a major GTA character certainly belongs here at GTAF over any other forums.

 

True but this is just plain cringy and creepy.

 

I was thinking of DeviantART of fanfiction.net would be the place for this thread, forums aren't the only websites.

I don't believe you. GTAF and socialclub are the only websites that exist. Edited August 19, 2015 by Mach1bud

[.Vooodu.]

 

 

I'd f*ck her.

With what? Your pixel peepee?

Yes.

 

 

 

And i ain`t ashamed to get sloppy seconds either...lol

[PreciousWall]

She looks like Najwa Shihab a local TV presenter in my country tho

 

[LieutenantLoserz]

 

 

 

The ones bitching and whining about this thread should develop the habit of not clicking everything they see.

If you hate the karen fanfiction, what are you doing here?

We're not going to tolerate this crap, GTAF is not the place for this.

I believe a thread for the appreciation of a major GTA character certainly belongs here at GTAF over any other forums.

 

True but this is just plain cringy and creepy.

 

I was thinking of DeviantART of fanfiction.net would be the place for this thread, forums aren't the only websites.

Stop coming in the thread, it was weird from page 1 with OP, we are just making it weirder

[REXX]

Haha sh*t! The thread has been bumped

[Coleco]

Stop coming in the thread

 

Judging by the enthusiasm shown in this thread I think there are a few more people who might also need to be told this

 

[LieutenantLoserz]

 

Stop coming in the thread

Judging by the enthusiasm shown in this thread I think there are a few more people who might also need to be told this

 

It took me minute lol,

[Gutslab]

 

 

i stole ur gurl bro and she wants me

[saintsrow]

 

 

Stop coming in the thread

Judging by the enthusiasm shown in this thread I think there are a few more people who might also need to be told this

 

It took me minute lol,

 

Show Karen the love

 

Please come in our thread

[LieutenantLoserz]

 

 

i stole ur gurl bro and she wants me

Thats Lord Rajin's girl, I claim Amanda Townley

[saintsrow]

This tread just good interesting. Thanks saintsrow

Really, we have to thank Karen. She's the muse that inspires us.

 

And I have to say thanks to you nik, for suggesting it. Writing a bit of Karen fanfic was a much more fun way to spend a couple of hours, versus wasting another evening in the GTA Online clouds, getting disconnected from heists and dropped from lobbies back to single player. Really, GTA Online is essentially unplayable now.

 

The upside is that with the PC version of GTAV and all the mods, it's going to be a brave new world for taking pix of our dear Karen in the beautiful world of San Andreas See the thread by theNGclan

 

Edited September 18, 2015 by saintsrow

[nik_west]

And I have to say thanks to you nik, for suggesting it. Writing a bit of Karen fanfic was a much more fun way to spend a couple of hours, versus wasting another evening in the GTA Online clouds, getting disconnected from heists and dropped from lobbies back to single player. Really, GTA Online is essentially unplayable now.

No problem man. I would actually like to write something too, I'm just affraid my english is not good enough for that kind of stuff...

[JuanG12]

I don't understand mods sometimes, how they let this thread reach 13 pages is beyond me.