waxman. 2,234 Posted July 21, 2015 Share Posted July 21, 2015 Manic, but never a person without some wit Brushes softly in his mind - startles danger Tangles within a labyrinth of a loved one or a goon It's the brief eye contact with a total stranger. The basic elements to stew the pot of a nightmare Or the lifeless child at birth with a mother deceased It's the brain against the gravel or the teeth of an elder It's the eye contact with a total stranger, yet brief. A dreadful heart race in the moments just before death Or the scream of the sorrow of a soul that is freed It's the clearing of the smoke after death is called Into the streets to preach and teach, too late The child's at peace. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mokrie Dela 2,984 Posted July 21, 2015 Share Posted July 21, 2015 I do love short, snappy closing lines that tie things up or throw a twist. That last line seemed to add so much weight to this, and made me look at it in a different way. I'm not sure about the repeated line of "eye contact with a total stranger" but the second iteration seemed to have a different flavor, almost like regret over how fleeting it was, I dunno. I liked it, tbh 1 Link to post Share on other sites