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The GTA Online Americana Update Concept (Complete, feedback)


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Like a monster from a Lovecraft or Ligotti story I rise, returning to this forum to make my second concept thread. Seeing as my first concept is going to be a huge project that will likely not be finished (as most big fan projects and the like become vaporware), I figured I'd make a less absurdly huge idea instead of something to rival Ghetto Green and other popular threads. As the Fourth of July draws nears at this time of writing (6/17/2015), I thought this would be a decent time to post this. I can't use photoshop to save a life so all pics will be wiki pages, imgur, photobucket, etc. I hope someone here enjoys this.

Ah yes, America. The last superpower, and a great place for inventions, incorporating, and buying one's happiness. Celebrate the land of thick beef sandwiches, bread-wrapped penis metaphors, and owning needless military rifles with this new not-actually-an update. I may update this from time to time, but it's pretty much finished. Please give me feedback, and I'll tell other if I like their ideas. (Actually like half of it went away but I tried to re-add it, maybe with some descriptions changed. I hope it works this time!)


Revolver .500 - First there was .357 Mag. Then, .44 Magnum. Now, for real American excess, the .500 Magnum! This reproduction of a Wild West classic has been rechambered to .500 by the Amm-u-Nation gun techs. It's very handy if you want to your hunting sidearm to kill a bear and the second bear right behind it in one hit. Holds only 5 rounds per cylinder and is fed via speedloader. Costs $7500.

Vinatge Rifle - This IS your father's rifle. He then gave it to your weird uncle, who then sold it to a gun store to buy a new Assault Rifle so he can fight the evil commie aliens. While powerful with good range, it's reloaded cartridge-by-cartridge and has no attachments. It's power still makes it viable in a midrange fight however. Costs $12500.

Double Shotgun - Used in hunting birds, or chopped down and used to hunt people by evil bikers. It has two configurations, long-range and short-range. Long-range is stronger and has much higher range than most shotguns, but not very manuverable. Short-range, it has low range but high power with each hit, and it would be used in drivebys. It fires either slugs or buck. Tap trigger for single-shot, fire both by holding. Costs $7000.

Burst Rifle - The one good thing to come from 'Nam. It used to have a reputation for unreliability, but that changed when someone figured out that all guns, even military ones, need basic cleaning and repairs. Go back to simpler time, when killing didn't need 30 bullets (but one was too few) Fires three cartridges per burst. Costs $15000.

Additionally, new finishes or skins for existing guns. These new skins cost as much as the original gun (If the AK Assault Rifle is $1400, then so is the wood-finished AK Assault Rifle.)

AK Assault Rifle - Okay, it may be a Chinese copy of a Russian gun, but the AK has been in countless action films. Now get it in a classic finish!

Heavy Pistol - The Platinum Finish looks sort of like a regular 1911, but not quite. This is what a 1911 should be (unless you prefer other kinds, this is just my opinion).

Pump-Action/Sawnoff Shotgun - Classic American shotgun without a classic American finish? Preposterous! A wood and metal finish on the pump or sawnoff (second pic in thread, trying to avoid hotlinking) shotgun is what you need!

Sniper Rifle - Is the Arctic Warfare in GTA V giving you Counterstrike flashbacks? Well, have the Remington 700 with a box mag found in GTA IV!


Marksman Rifle - Who in R* is such a Mall Ninja that they include an M39 over an M14?

Pistol Scopes - The scope found on the Heavy Pistol can now be removed, and the Pistol, Combat Pistol, Heavy Pistol, Pistol .50, AP Pistol, and Revolver .500 can now mount one. The Heavy Pistol Scope is free to purchase or remove for all players that already own one.

Stungun is now online, as are handcuffs.


M65 Jacket, open or closed - In black, tan, olive drab, and Woodland ERDL or Tan Chocolate Chip camo. Get one today before they're all bought by guilt-suffering wife killers or crazy cabbies.

Leather Jackets - All leather jackets would be available zipped or unzipped. Additionally, Black, Lonewolf, Brown, and Red coats would be purchasable as in distressed finishes. Seriously, why no brown unzipped jacket R*?

Vests - Sweater Vests! And long-sleeved vest shirts.

Denim Jackets and Vests for Males - Similar to what the Lost or Trevor Wear. Colors are black, light blue, dark blue, olive, tan, and distressed versions of said jackets.. Good for wannabe bikers.

Sweaters - Turtleneck or henley style, short or long sleeve. In a variety of earth colors, as well as red, blue, green, orange, or navy.

T-Shirts - All Merrica' shirts from the 2014 Update for a limited time, and a collection of shirts featuring American icons, logos, and slogans, some distressed. Color refers to shirt color, not logo color. The slashes represent "or", denoting multiple colors. (Distressed) or (vintage logo) means in addition to good-condition shirts, there would also be old ones. Massive TL;DR list of theoretical shirts in a theoretical update that'll prolly never happen below.

(Distressed) White Vapid Logo Shirt, (Distressed) Declasse Logo Shirt, Black/White Mammoth Shirt, Distressed Red/White Imponte Logo Shirt

(Distressed)Green/Orange Hawk&Little Shirt, Black Vom Fuer Logo Shirt, Black/White Shrewsbury Shirt

(Vinage Logo and Distressed) Green Sprunk Shirt, (Vintage Logo and Distressed) eCola shirt, Distressed White/Red Redwood Tobacco Shirt, White/Yellow/Red Burger Shot Shirt, White Pisswasser Shirt, Orange Deutsche Gold Shirt

Black Richard's Production Shirt, (Vintage) Navy/Red/White Quincy Shirt, Brown "sh*t happens." shirt, Green Ben Franklin Shirt, Black/White "I DON'T CALL 911" Heavy Pistol/Revolver Shirt, White "I'm with Jock Cranley" and "Stand By Sue Murray" Shirts, White "We Are the People" shirt.


Button Shirts - Now, you can wear them over other clothes.

Accessory Pins - Under Accessories. Can be worn on jackets, shirts, or hats. Pins include I'm with Stupid, Jock Cranley/Sue Murray for Governor, sh*t Happens., WE DON'T CALL 911 with Heavy Pistol/Revolver, "We Are the People", "I'm walkin' over here!", "You talkin to me?", American Flag (like what politicians wear).




Vapid Classic Dominator - Your dad always wanted this car, and he always forced his desires onto you. Why shouldn't that extend to your taste in cars? Be the middle-aged man trying to recapture his youth you were always meant to be. Price is $61,000.


Convertable Doosey FK - Still beautiful in the 21st century, own the world's prettiest example of capatalist oppression! Channel your inner 1930s robber baron vainly trying to hold onto your fortune as you drive past the men and women starving on the sidewalks all around you. Top up, and top down. Price is $800,000


Schyster PMP 600 - Are you a drug dealer with a midlife crisis? This is the perfect car for you! The last Big American Sedan, this thing combines executive luxury with muscle car power, so that you can feel powerful and important before wrapping yourself around a tree. Costs $120,000.


Classique 84 - Confusingly named, this car is actually from the early Fifites. The first muscle car, it also inspired one of the first rock songs. Own a piece of history with no power steering, brakes, windows, doors, AC, or anything else, really. $200,000.


BF Bugger - Not everyone could afford a Tornado or Peyote back in the day, and so they got this thing. Now, it's mostly popular among hippies, hipsters, and poor people in Europe. Price is $8,000.


Canis Preta - Used in WWII, the world over uses this vehicle or a copy thereof. That might explain why we replaced it with a bunch of similar trucks that cost x100 as much and work half as well. Price is $30,000


Canis Hanuman - A military truck popular in Vietnam, it's become outdated because the bigwigs said so. Reduced in size with the guns stripped to become simply a big truck, it's now a personal vehicle for hipsters, workers, and rednecks nationwide. In various camo livery or regular paints. Price is $300,000.


Western Redskin - Hop on this classic 40's bike and feel the power people had back when casual racism against the people that found this place first was encouraged. Great for crashing Democrat rallies with its V8. Costs $50,000.


Western Model 69 Numbskull - The first modern chopper bike as we'd understand it today, meaning it controls horribly and is so loud it'll ruin your ears by being next to it. But man, will you get mad motorbike cred. Costs $60,000.


Volaju Recluse - When you spew motor oil all over legs for the first time you'll be thinking "dear God, why did I get this thing?" Before then, you'll be getting all the women to go with you on a very memorable drug-fueled cross country road trip. Costs $75,000.


Purchase the Tornado, Peyote, or Voodoo online! All cost $10,000 in good shape (Clean Voodoo!), $7,500 in poor shape (Dirty Peyote!).


Bumper Stickers - All pin designs would be available as bumper stickers on cars and bikes.


Other Stuff


Hunting - Animals will now appear in freeroam. Additionally, there will now be a hunting job. Simply shoot animals and get paid. When doing hunting as a separate activity lobby, one can only use the following weapons: Knife, Pistol .50, Heavy Pistol, Revolver .500, Sniper Rifle, Vintage Rifle, Pump Shotgun, Sawnoff Shotgun, Musket.


Freeroam random activities - Much like in single player, one can now do encounter random people in need of help. Do enough of these and then...


Vigilante - ...Lester will call, telling you that you can do vigilante activities. Arrest criminals using a stungun and handcuffs. Or, chase gangbangers, and be stealthy in your attempts to take out gang leaders. Or just straight up shoot criminals, but with weapon limitations (i.e only pistols in a gunfight, sniper rifles in assassinations, etc.).


All limited time content now would be available, like all Valentine Day Massacre and Independence Update content.

4 properties because 3 isn't enough for a true American.

Edited by NotAHipster
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Don't forget about these new hairstyles and beards:

And of course some new t-shirt and stickers:

Anywho, great concept. Love it!

Edited by HipsterHillbilly
  • Like 1


Get more cheese than Doritos, Cheetos or Fritos - MF DOOM

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Okay, now it's more-or-less done. Like I said, I might update it, add suggestions, or add/change pics, but it's about done. Thanks to anyone who actually reads this and especially if you give feedback. (UPDATE IT SEEMS TO HAVE DELETED LIKE HALF THE CONTENT WHY BUT I TRIED TO REPLACE IT SO HEY)

Edited by NotAHipster
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If anyone read this before it was done or after the text disappeared, I'm sorry. I tried to fix it by retyping it, but it could go away again. Still, I hope you enjoy the thread.

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Nice, but the PMP would be a Schyster, like the Fusilade ;)

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  • 1 month later...

YES! I was talking the other day on gta Online with people about how i wish in the camo section they included an option to make some of the guns adapted from older weapons look like classic variants rather than being all "tactical" which in my opinion looks stupid. All i want is a fricken' AK like the one in GTA IV.

I also like the mock patriotism and over the top "American"-esque writeups for all the new content. Good work.

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^Yaay, feedback! Thanks for bumping this man. If you have gun ideas or the like, put it here. I see you're new here, and I wish you the best of luck.

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Dude, I think every good 'Murican update should include at least one good wooden panel station wagon (especially if it based on the 70's GM or Ford platform).


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^Well, we already had the Regina, but if I actually updated this I would put the National Lampoon wagon in. I also thought about putting a Bronco in but nb4 someone said "we already have the Rancher". But, it's great to see people posting here.

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^Well, we already had the Regina, but if I actually updated this I would put the National Lampoon wagon in. I also thought about putting a Bronco in but nb4 someone said "we already have the Rancher". But, it's great to see people posting here.

Not the Two Door Rancher though.

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^I know, but I figured someone would complain if I did include it.

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