Jump to content
Search In
  • More options...
Find results that contain...
Find results in...
    1. Welcome to GTAForums!

    1. GTANet.com

    1. GTA Online

      1. The Cayo Perico Heist
      2. Find Lobbies & Players
      3. Guides & Strategies
      4. Vehicles
      5. Content Creator
      6. Help & Support
    2. Red Dead Online

      1. Frontier Pursuits
      2. Find Lobbies & Outlaws
      3. Help & Support
    3. Crews

    1. Red Dead Redemption 2

      1. PC
      2. Help & Support
    2. Red Dead Redemption

    1. Grand Theft Auto Series

    2. GTA VI

      1. St. Andrews Cathedral
    3. GTA V

      1. Guides & Strategies
      2. Help & Support
    4. GTA IV

      1. The Lost and Damned
      2. The Ballad of Gay Tony
      3. Guides & Strategies
      4. Help & Support
    5. GTA San Andreas

      1. Guides & Strategies
      2. Help & Support
    6. GTA Vice City

      1. Guides & Strategies
      2. Help & Support
    7. GTA III

      1. Guides & Strategies
      2. Help & Support
    8. Portable Games

      1. GTA Chinatown Wars
      2. GTA Vice City Stories
      3. GTA Liberty City Stories
    9. Top-Down Games

      1. GTA Advance
      2. GTA 2
      3. GTA
    1. GTA Mods

      1. GTA V
      2. GTA IV
      3. GTA III, VC & SA
      4. Tutorials
    2. Red Dead Mods

      1. Documentation
    3. Mod Showroom

      1. Scripts & Plugins
      2. Maps
      3. Total Conversions
      4. Vehicles
      5. Textures
      6. Characters
      7. Tools
      8. Other
      9. Workshop
    4. Featured Mods

      1. Design Your Own Mission
      2. OpenIV
      3. GTA: Underground
      4. GTA: Liberty City
      5. GTA: State of Liberty
    1. Rockstar Games

    2. Rockstar Collectors

    1. Off-Topic

      1. General Chat
      2. Gaming
      3. Technology
      4. Movies & TV
      5. Music
      6. Sports
      7. Vehicles
    2. Expression

      1. Graphics / Visual Arts
      2. GFX Requests & Tutorials
      3. Writers' Discussion
      4. Debates & Discussion
    3. Gangs

    1. Announcements

    2. Support

    3. Suggestions


Recommended Posts


So one day I got really really depressed and instead of cutting myself literally I thought I'd do it metaphorically so I wrote a bunch of stuff. Now I need you guys to take a dump on it because I'm not a regular to these forums.

Here you go.



How 'bout no?




It's obviously a flash-forward...

But seriously, I'd like some feedback or something to develop the chapters past this... Intro.

Edited by IDredMan
  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

It's a very cryptic opener, but seems to make sense to me. If you want to develop this, you have to ask yourself, what story are you telling us? What do you want this story to be about? Then just simply think of your singular character in this opener, and think about him. If you need help on plotting or character development on this, just PM me.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Mokrie Dela

I have to say, this has a style to it that I really like. The sort of self-questioning flow to it. Most stories give us the facts "A gun is in my hand" but the way yours is really feels like you're experiancing it via a sort of daze, out of body experiance, as though you're not in control. "What's that in my hand? A gun"


It reminds me of the narration in The Simpsons when Homer/Lisa hallucinate while in the sense-deprivation tanks.


I do think it needs a bit more to it though. It's a bit quick, and I'd like to see more tension built - take things slower, show us more detail.


But style-wise, you've got something good here imo

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • 2 Users Currently Viewing
    0 members, 0 Anonymous, 2 Guests

  • Create New...

Important Information

By using GTAForums.com, you agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.