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Invasion of privacy?


EphemeralStar
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EphemeralStar

Technology is everything nowadays and as such, that applies to relationships as well. So..what do you do when your significant other grabs your phone from you and starts looking through your messages?
Do you believe that when you are in a relationship with someone you should have privacy in terms of personal messages, social media, phone locks, etc? Or do you believe when you're in a relationship that there is no such thing as privacy and you allow your partner to be free to look through any of your messages and know all your passwords? Is there a problem with either approach? THOUGHTS PLEASE! :)

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dingodile_r89

Imo, it indicates some manner of distrust or insecurity when this happens. I definitely wouldn't like it.

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I knew a bunch of people who gave their FB passwords to their girlfriends and boyfriends. f*cked them right over after they broke up.

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Imo, it indicates some manner of distrust or insecurity when this happens. I definitely wouldn't like it.

 

This, more than anything.

In a relationship you're bound to lose a lot of privacy (with it comes intimacy) but I've always thought messages are for the sender and the receiver, and no one else. I've never allowed anyone to read any of my messages, scroll through my pictures, etc. Why the hell should they?

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Niko Montana

Even if there's nothing to hide, I never give any passwords/phones/details which contain personal information. Who knows what they could do with it.

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While both partners should respect each others privacy there must be zero hesitation when one wants to see the others phone/social media/etc. When you start to hide stuff from your significant other, then your relationship is bound to fail.

 

No normal partner will go snooping through your accounts without a valid reason anyway, and the best way to solve any conflict is to outright do what they want and erase any doubt

Edited by dice
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make total destroy

If you can't trust your partner without snooping through their sh*t, you probably shouldn't be in a relationship at all.

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Mr. Scratch

Some people like to keep certain things private, that doesn't indicate the fact that they're hiding something. I think it's up to both to decide.

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Fortunately, my partner is also into simple living. We both come from a humble background, being not so attached to all the socializing online thing and so invasion of privacy doesn't bother us to care about.

We don't have much use of the technology outside our requirements and knowledge related to our job life, nothing more.

 

E:typo

Edited by Osho
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Technology is everything nowadays and as such, that applies to relationships as well. So..what do you do when your significant other grabs your phone from you and starts looking through your messages?

Do you believe that when you are in a relationship with someone you should have privacy in terms of personal messages, social media, phone locks, etc? Or do you believe when you're in a relationship that there is no such thing as privacy and you allow your partner to be free to look through any of your messages and know all your passwords? Is there a problem with either approach? THOUGHTS PLEASE! :)

 

Things are different for every individual and couple, so I can only say what works for me/us; Privacy is key to healthy relationships. But, it should be voluntary, I mean, we agree not to pry too much but on occasion we mess around with each others phone. The key is that we really have nothing to hide, so no-one freaks out.

 

But it's rare and usually a joke, privacy is important to us. It's healthy, and also, how the hell are we supposed to ever to something nice, as a surprise, without it?

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Mr. Scratch

 

Technology is everything nowadays and as such, that applies to relationships as well. So..what do you do when your significant other grabs your phone from you and starts looking through your messages?

Do you believe that when you are in a relationship with someone you should have privacy in terms of personal messages, social media, phone locks, etc? Or do you believe when you're in a relationship that there is no such thing as privacy and you allow your partner to be free to look through any of your messages and know all your passwords? Is there a problem with either approach? THOUGHTS PLEASE! :)

 

How the hell are we supposed to ever to something nice, as a surprise, without it?

 

 

This, f*cking this!

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There is no technology privacy in this house. Then again there is also no invasion of personal crap either. It probably helps that our relationship was solid before the internet became a part of people's daily lives.

 

If I were a bit younger and not in a time tested relationship I would totally keep my internet access points private. For one there is the whole "trust thing" and the other part is just general privacy.

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my girlfriend and I have been living together for a few years now.

at no point during out relationship was it ever ok for one of us to just grab the cell phone out of the others hands or demand to start looking through each others messages.

 

you either trust the person you're with or you don't.

"privacy" has little to do with it. that's just a personal preference. I don't let anyone look through my phone because that's my sh/t, not because I'm hiding something, but if you think that I am then confront me; don't go snooping around behind my back.

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Privacy is there to be invaded.

 

anigif_enhanced-4259-1402410964-28.gif

 

 

 

Seriously though, that sh*t is not okay.

 

 

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Mr. Scratch

Privacy is there to be invaded.

 

anigif_enhanced-4259-1402410964-28.gif

 

 

 

Seriously though, that sh*t is not okay.

 

 

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It might be OK only "Sometimes", If you are married. But definitely not when you are just friends or Ex. Not even if its just your friend (Not GF).

 

They better know, what they should be doing. Even while communicating with people we all have our different zones of distance we keep. We should always make sure that they don't cross limits.

 

Relationships within Limits are always better and last long. Although we should be versatile sometimes for some kind of Pranks and other fun stuff but not all the time.

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I let her browse my stuff every once in a while if she feels like it, just not my bloody passwords. If youre an open book she will end up trusting you and not asking anymore.

Then again, i barely use my cellphone, i only have a Facebook account and i almost never use it, and i dont think she would be interested in my GTAF or Steam accounts lol..... (Or my Met-Art account but sshhhht; thats a secret).

 

Thats the thing with me, im just delivering my secrets anywhere, unless they have to be with someone else and that person wants privacy, youll end up knowing everything about me in no time, and if you dont like it, then why the hell are you with me?.

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We only share passwords for accessing our laptops and such, if I need to use her steam/e-mail, I ask her for access, it's that simple.

 

We like having our separate sh*t, both laptops have two accounts and all that fancy stuff.

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AboveAndBeyoncé

Ehh I say no because I should be able to trust you enough to know your not cheating or doing something stupid in terms of the relationship if that's what your referring to Ms.Ephemeral

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Theodore93

Privacy should always be respected. If there's no privacy, how can you have trust?

 

I wasn't aware that being in a relationship required the couple to share absolutely everything. Don't give passwords to anyone, keep your correspondences private and maintain some sort of minimum wall of privacy with everyone. To do otherwise is courting trouble.

 

While you're at it, get off social media and put the god damn phone down. It's bad for ya.

 

Trust is overrated though. Like, joint bank accounts, what's up with that widely accepted insanity?

 

Probably should wear a condom too. Never know...

 

LOL, slamman

Edited by Waldie
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Technology is everything nowadays and as such, that applies to relationships as well. So..what do you do when your significant other grabs your phone from you and starts looking through your messages?

Do you believe that when you are in a relationship with someone you should have privacy in terms of personal messages, social media, phone locks, etc? Or do you believe when you're in a relationship that there is no such thing as privacy and you allow your partner to be free to look through any of your messages and know all your passwords? Is there a problem with either approach? THOUGHTS PLEASE! :)

Never ever, no.

 

If there's ever a bigger sign of distrust, I don't know what it is. I've had friends who have told me about how their SOs have asked for their passwords to Skype, FB, etc. And gotten mad when none were given. There is absolutely no reason why you should have your SOs credentials to anything. Asking for them is trying to control them. And it also shows a serious lack of trust, which is, of course, essential in any relationship. Hell, I have some pretty bad trust issues in general, but I would never ask my hypothetical girlfriend for her passwords and sh*t. And if she asked me for them, I'd consider it a serious red flag.

 

Not entirely related, but at a get together a girl I know asked me for my phone, said she wanted to look at the music I have on it. Sure, whatever. 5 minutes later I see her starting to go through my gallery. Man, I was livid. I would've broken her f*cking hand in half if that had been necessary to get my phone back ((un?)fortunately, I pried it out easily enough), slightly because I had some sensitive pictures on there, more so because of principle. I f*cking hate that sh*t.

 

I'm curious as to what your opinion on this topic is, Lisa.

Edited by Edmachine
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We will be the arms that lift you up oqKntbC.gifWe will be the hand that strike you down

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PhillBellic

Invading your partners privacy is an early sign of Domestic Violence.

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EphemeralStar

 

Technology is everything nowadays and as such, that applies to relationships as well. So..what do you do when your significant other grabs your phone from you and starts looking through your messages?

Do you believe that when you are in a relationship with someone you should have privacy in terms of personal messages, social media, phone locks, etc? Or do you believe when you're in a relationship that there is no such thing as privacy and you allow your partner to be free to look through any of your messages and know all your passwords? Is there a problem with either approach? THOUGHTS PLEASE! :)

Never ever, no.

 

If there's ever a bigger sign of distrust, I don't know what it is. I've had friends who have told me about how their SOs have asked for their passwords to Skype, FB, etc. And gotten mad when none were given. There is absolutely no reason why you should have your SOs credentials to anything. Asking for them is trying to control them. And it also shows a serious lack of trust, which is, of course, essential in any relationship. Hell, I have some pretty bad trust issues in general, but I would never ask my hypothetical girlfriend for her passwords and sh*t. And if she asked me for them, I'd consider it a serious red flag.

 

Not entirely related, but at a get together a girl I know asked me for my phone, said she wanted to look at the music I have on it. Sure, whatever. 5 minutes later I see her starting to go through my gallery. Man, I was livid. I would've broken her f*cking hand in half if that had been necessary to get my phone back ((un?)fortunately, I pried it out easily enough), slightly because I had some sensitive pictures on there, more so because of principle. I f*cking hate that sh*t.

 

I'm curious as to what your opinion on this topic is, Lisa.

 

 

I'm really surprised most people have voiced that they do value privacy in a relationship because I agree 100%.

I used to be in a 4-5 yr relationship where there was no privacy between us in terms of our cellphones and social media passwords. It was a huge mistake! It led to fights, assumptions, accusations and unnecessary jealousy on both sides. It harbored mistrust and once you allow your significant other to do so there is no going back. Since then, I have dated two guys (one who I am still seeing) and I made it very clear to them that I am not OK with them going through my phone because both of them tried to do so early on in our relationships. From my viewpoint, if you give someone your complete trust to begin with in a relationship, it should never get to a point where you are even bothering to look through each others phone and messages. I love being an "us" or "we" but I still want things that are MINE.

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Technology is everything nowadays and as such, that applies to relationships as well. So..what do you do when your significant other grabs your phone from you and starts looking through your messages?

Do you believe that when you are in a relationship with someone you should have privacy in terms of personal messages, social media, phone locks, etc? Or do you believe when you're in a relationship that there is no such thing as privacy and you allow your partner to be free to look through any of your messages and know all your passwords? Is there a problem with either approach? THOUGHTS PLEASE! :)

Never ever, no.

 

If there's ever a bigger sign of distrust, I don't know what it is. I've had friends who have told me about how their SOs have asked for their passwords to Skype, FB, etc. And gotten mad when none were given. There is absolutely no reason why you should have your SOs credentials to anything. Asking for them is trying to control them. And it also shows a serious lack of trust, which is, of course, essential in any relationship. Hell, I have some pretty bad trust issues in general, but I would never ask my hypothetical girlfriend for her passwords and sh*t. And if she asked me for them, I'd consider it a serious red flag.

 

Not entirely related, but at a get together a girl I know asked me for my phone, said she wanted to look at the music I have on it. Sure, whatever. 5 minutes later I see her starting to go through my gallery. Man, I was livid. I would've broken her f*cking hand in half if that had been necessary to get my phone back ((un?)fortunately, I pried it out easily enough), slightly because I had some sensitive pictures on there, more so because of principle. I f*cking hate that sh*t.

 

I'm curious as to what your opinion on this topic is, Lisa.

 

I'm really surprised most people have voiced that they do value privacy in a relationship because I agree 100%.

I used to be in a 4-5 yr relationship where there was no privacy between us in terms of our cellphones and social media passwords. It was a huge mistake! It led to fights, assumptions, accusations and unnecessary jealousy on both sides. It harbored mistrust and once you allow your significant other to do so there is no going back. Since then, I have dated two guys (one who I am still seeing) and I made it very clear to them that I am not OK with them going through my phone because both of them tried to do so early on in our relationships. From my viewpoint, if you give someone your complete trust to begin with in a relationship, it should never get to a point where you are even bothering to look through each others phone and messages. I love being an "us" or "we" but I still want things that are MINE.

 

Yeah, being an "us" or "we" does not in any way, shape or form imply that there is no privacy between the two. And I hate that some people don't understand that. The funny thing is that when an SO asks for credentials and none are given, they say that the SO doesn't trust them, but the truth is, the SO needs his/her privacy, yet the one who asks for it is the one without the trust, because why would you need to know what your SO is doing when they're not looking if you trust them?

 

The whole idea of "give me your FB deets, because I love you" is so stupid and backwards.

Edited by Edmachine
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muddeprived

For me, I don't care what my lady (of 15 years) goes through. She can snoop on my PC all she wants or take a peek inside my wallet....or pants. I haven't owned a stinkin awareness-sapping phone in over 6 years so I have no issues with phones and privacy. I also don't deal with any of that boring social media crap.

Edited by muddeprived
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I don't see any problem with sharing passwords and stuff. I guess I wouldn't give her the password to my PayPal account or the PIN for my debit card unless we were either married or in a relationship for a long time. I wouldn't bother to check her messages but sharing passwords can actually indicate that you trust your partner. It shows them that you have nothing to hide. Of course, if you obsessively read the other person's messages all the time then that says something bad about you and I personally wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone like that.

 

I don't understand the whole privacy argument unless you haven't been in a relationship with your partner long enough to trust them with this kind of stuff.

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Unless you have something to hide there shouldn't be an issue. If you have nothing to hide your significant other won't have the desire to need to read all your messages. People complain about privacy, but since computers and cellphones were invented, privacy within them has NEVER existed.

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I've been married for a long time and I only request privacy from my significant other when I take a dump. Other than that, she sees everything else because I have nothing to hide.

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