Favorite lines, quotes, and jokes from the heists

[thegrac]

Im talking about things the boss or supporting character says during cutscenes or gameplay. Like Lester's"mind blowing orgies!", Agent 14's"its a two horse race, the ass and the head" and more. What are your favorites.

[Turkish Turketarian]

None. I've heard them so many times, they all just sound cheesy. Nothing more annoying than having the assholes talk over my radio on the way to the destination lol.

[Ezekeil2Ofive17]

Heist dialogue needs to change to phone call once you do them a certain amount of times, or there should be ways to avoid it like in signal at least with that one you don't have to put up with lester spouting nonsense about cannibals and androids

[rrs]

Most of the lines try too hard to be edgy and funny and I get tired of hearing it about the 5th time I play scope out

[thegrac]

Most of the lines try too hard to be edgy and funny and I get tired of hearing it about the 5th time I play scope out

they are only meant to be funny the first or second time u hear them

[Dan30Cal]

"You have to be pretty fu**ing dumb to let the cops catch you in one of those" - Lester Crest

 

Everytime the cops corner a random in his kuruma, and kill him...

[saintsrow]

Most of the lines try too hard to be edgy and funny and I get tired of hearing it about the 5th time I play scope out

Yeah, I agree, some of them are so try-hard edgy, it almost sounds like Lazlow wrote them

 

Months ago I turned down the radio because it was so repetitive, it was driving me nuts. But there's no way to turn off that heist radio. Last night I heard the heist radio soundtrack feeding back into somebody's mic and making an echo - at least that was a bit entertaining

[Elder Maxson]

[_Pythonomorpha_]

Agent 14s lines are pretty funny, especially how he tries to convince us that hes a criminal.

 

"Not that I want to dismantle any criminal networks, as you know, Im a criminal myself."

 

"Yeah, I got a degree. In prison."

 

"You know how in video games, someone pulls out a rocket launcher and people go Where was he keeping that? That was so unrealistic! Well I tell them youve clearly not spent much time in the US prison system."

 

The lines itself are average, but the way the voice actor delivers them is perfect.

[Red Lynx 23]

Lester and Paige while planning the Fleeca heist. "Respect! Ain't that right Paige?". "Blow me.".

 

Trevor, Ron, and Chef busting into the heist leader's apartment at the beginning of Series A. And Trevor's outline of the setups. Also hitting on the heist leader wether male or female.

 

And Lester before the Pacific Standard finale. *GASP!* "It's the drugs!".

[Xion Hunter]

Agent 14s lines are pretty funny, especially how he tries to convince us that hes a criminal.

 

"Not that I want to dismantle any criminal networks, as you know, Im a criminal myself."

 

"Yeah, I got a degree. In prison."

 

"You know how in video games, someone pulls out a rocket launcher and people go Where was he keeping that? That was so unrealistic! Well I tell them youve clearly not spent much time in the US prison system."

 

The lines itself are average, but the way the voice actor delivers them is perfect.

Agent 14 is my favorite new character. He's just hilarious.

 

The rocket launcher line killed me first time...man was it amazing xD

[DarkSavageDeathlyCloud]

"you look like a tranny......"

 

seriously, some of the enemy npc lines....i wonder what they smoked at rockstar office when they made those up sometimes

[CrysisAverted]

[CarimboHanky]

*mind blowing orgies*

 

was fun a bit, but got old really fast...

[Taylor]

"MENDOZAS BEEN HIT. MENDOZAS BEEN FKING HIT"

[RyanEsau]

Michelle or whatever at the end of the Humane Labs when she popped out the grenade the first time I thought "Woah wait! She gonna blow us up? Knock us out?! Can that happen in online..?" then she said "I hope your professional enough to get rid of the evidence" I was like Oh.. lol. My favorite first time around is the initial setup cutscence for Series A Funding with Trevor.

[AllNighter1]

I love Lester and Paige's dialog. I find it genuinely funny every time I play through the Fleeca job.

 

Agent 14 also has great ones.

 

Trevor is just awesome though.

 

I hope the devs keep adding hilarious quips to the online characters, makes em much more likable IMO.

[Sky_Light12]

agent 14 referencing how are we able to keep a rocket launcher on our pocket

lester said that pacific boss and mayor are about tear chief of police's ass

agent 14 said " hey , careful with that thing " after turn around quickly and saw 2 of his men accidentally drop the EMP

one of online character shown with money gesture

trevor said " but hey it's your flaming carcass , not mine "

[God-eater]

"I know you've been complaining, but you weren't ready". R* gold - and so true, as anyone who heists with randoms can tell you.

 

"If they were offended, they would have said something". Love all the 'PC's don't talk' jokes.

 

Trevor's insinuation that he helped end Ron's marriage by "finding a use" for Ron. Trevor Phillips, omnisexual.

 

The hostage at Pacific Bank who wets himself. I always make scaring him a priority.

[_Pythonomorpha_]

"If they were offended, they would have said something". Love all the 'PC's don't talk' jokes.

 

Heh, those are also good. It's amazing how many references they make to us not talking.

 

"Maybe I'd use your ass for an ashtray, or cut off your tongue. Not that you use your tongue. The next pair of mutes I try to involve in crime, I'll make sure I threaten."

 

"I'm guessing you're more of a cerebral crew, otherwise this whole 'not talking' deal kind of puts you off."

 

And my personal favorite, because it's so true:

 

"You don't talk much; probably don't listen either."

[thegrac]

i forgot about this one, the one where lester makes not so threatening threats"i would probably refuse to uh, speak to you for a week and then spread nasty rumours behind your back, and maybe set up a lifeinvader page about what a creep you are!"XD

Edited May 25, 2015 by thegrac

[Furry_Monkey]

 

 

 

Orgies is plural. He's doing it wrong.

 

 

 

My favourite line is in the Prison Break one where Agent 14 is going on about smuggling stuff into prison and explains how computer games where you can just pull a rocket launcher out of your butt aren't unrealistic.

Edited May 25, 2015 by Furry_Monkey

[paperbagdude]

 

 

Orgies is plural. He's doing it wrong.

 

 

 

 

 

Best one. ever.

Edited May 25, 2015 by paperbagdude

[SJH1991]

Agent 114 playing with his hand and making explosion noises and then hears the door and stops in the cutscene before the prison break heist is funny

[Scuba 21]

The random NPC in PS finale that can be heard shouting "Where are the Ballas when you need them" while you're on crowd control.

14 pausing before saying "rad" as your heist crew gives no response during his Rachovsky diatribe.

[Solid Scorpion]

Orgies is plural. He's doing it wrong.

 

 

^ /Thread Winner!

This was posted 4hours ago, why is this thread still open? No one can compete with that.

[Red Lynx 23]

Also, Agent 14's description of Don Percival. "A right wing douchebag with all the subtlety of a red dildo. I've had experience with them...right wing douchebags, not red dildos.".