Share Your Feelings

[IveGotNoValues]

My feelings right now...unsure

 

So my friend texted me a little while ago. Hes this hardcore raver guy, and obviously he has alot of experience with drugs (he takes a "molly" before school almost every day, along with who knows what else). Well anyway, I live close to Six Flags and me, him and my other friend go there pretty often cause we have passes. Well last time we went there he was talking about how he went to EDC and tripped hard and stuff,and I told him I'd be interested in trying acid at some point out of curiosity. So anyway, he texted me during my last period at school asking if I wanted to trip with him at Six Flags tonight. I guess he has some "pure" acid...Now as tempted as I am, I know it would probably not be a good idea at all. He has a ton of experience with tripping, and the only drug experience I have is with weed and alcohol. I could see myself having a horrible trip and freaking out, with all those giant hoards of people at the park and my extreme social anxiety. Also he said only I could come, and our other friend that usually hangs with us "isnt allowed", so I kinda don't agree with excluding him. Plus I don't know how tripping effects depressed people like myself and I don't intend on "discovering myself" at Six Flags...not the ideal place to be tripping.

 

So yeah, as much as I'd like to try it, I think I'm gonna tell him I cant. Too many things that could go wrong, and I want my first experience to be in a nice comfortable place with 1 or 2 very close friends and no one else. I don't wanna be surrounded by towering roller coasters and thousands of tourists, that's a recipe for disaster.

Edited August 22, 2014 by IveGotNoValues

[universetwisters]

I got my dad's old train diorama set up and I'm happy

 

[Payne Killer]

I got my dad's old train diorama set up and I'm happy

 

I love model trains.

[universetwisters]

^ what's your collection like?

[Payne Killer]

^ what's your collection like?

I have no model trains at the moment but( painful childhood moment incoming) when I was 4 I had a model train and it broke, I loved that thing. ( it was a steam train by the way).

[Cripto136]

I seem to keep having dreams where I'm having a nice conversation with a girl then I wake up. f*ck you brain!!!

[Judicious 7]

I don't know how I feel. Last night I was almost about to cry and feel waves of depression. Today when I woke up, I was energetic and content. As in the words of Niko Bellic replying to Roman's optimism, "I don't get it!".

 

I'm trying to go clean from PMO (google it, I'm not telling you what it means), and I'm on like, Day 3. This sucks, because I've spent so many years relapsing and suppressing my feelings that I don't know how I feel. For instance, last night, I felt depressed because of this PMO cycle. It usually begins when I sometimes have feelings. No, not sexual arousal, but general feelings that we all feel (ie, sadness, awkwardness etc..). So, instead of feeling them and embracing them, I freak out and resort to relapsing. The overwhelming depression afterward provides a blanket of numbness. It sucks to be depressed, but in order to escape depression, I.... well you know. The cycle.

 

I'm clean today, and I wanna remain clean. God knows I wanna be normal again and be a healthy 19 year old. *sigh* I have no clue how I feel.

 

--

 

In other feeling news, I've recently been taking a journey into Psychedelic Rock & Folk. Pretty cool stuff from the 60s. I'm staying away from the obvious songs about drug usage and other 'iffy' material, but the genre is amazing IMO. However, there's been this particular song stuck in my head. It's from this group that consists of a husband and wife (Euphoria - There Is Now). They both sound great on the song, but I've read their wiki and saw how long they've been married. Instantly, a wave of feelings came upon me. Resentment, isolation, uneasiness, worthlessness, and a tinge of depression. *sigh* the genre is about relaxing and making your mind drift with the music, but here I am feeling sad or..... I don't know what else.

 

Moments like these would normally cause me to relapse. I kinda wanna shed a tear or two. But no, I have to be strong. I have to be strong. "Come on Roman. Positive mental attitude."

[Xavierr]

Kinda sad that some of my attractive female co-workers are leaving for school. They helped me evolve out of that shy awkward guy thing and got me used to talking to attractive women , but soon they'll be gone

[Payne Killer]

Kinda sad that some of my attractive female co-workers are leaving for school. They helped me evolve out of that shy awkward guy thing and got me used to talking to attractive women , but soon they'll be gone

Get their number or email them.

[Xavierr]

I'm not that comfortable around them...

 

But I'll see if I can get around to it.

Edited August 23, 2014 by Xavierr

[krashr]

 

Kinda sad that some of my attractive female co-workers are leaving for school. They helped me evolve out of that shy awkward guy thing and got me used to talking to attractive women , but soon they'll be gone

Get their number or email them.

 

 

or use your new found skills to meet some more attractive women. the world is your oyster

[Payne Killer]

I'm not that comfortable around them...

 

But I'll see if I can get around to it.

Confidence is all you need brother. Works for me.(well most of the time at least).

[dudclub55]

I don't know how I feel. Last night I was almost about to cry and feel waves of depression. Today when I woke up, I was energetic and content. As in the words of Niko Bellic replying to Roman's optimism, "I don't get it!".

 

I'm trying to go clean from PMO (google it, I'm not telling you what it means), and I'm on like, Day 3. This sucks, because I've spent so many years relapsing and suppressing my feelings that I don't know how I feel. For instance, last night, I felt depressed because of this PMO cycle. It usually begins when I sometimes have feelings. No, not sexual arousal, but general feelings that we all feel (ie, sadness, awkwardness etc..). So, instead of feeling them and embracing them, I freak out and resort to relapsing. The overwhelming depression afterward provides a blanket of numbness. It sucks to be depressed, but in order to escape depression, I.... well you know. The cycle.

 

I'm clean today, and I wanna remain clean. God knows I wanna be normal again and be a healthy 19 year old. *sigh* I have no clue how I feel.

 

--

 

In other feeling news, I've recently been taking a journey into Psychedelic Rock & Folk. Pretty cool stuff from the 60s. I'm staying away from the obvious songs about drug usage and other 'iffy' material, but the genre is amazing IMO. However, there's been this particular song stuck in my head. It's from this group that consists of a husband and wife (Euphoria - There Is Now). They both sound great on the song, but I've read their wiki and saw how long they've been married. Instantly, a wave of feelings came upon me. Resentment, isolation, uneasiness, worthlessness, and a tinge of depression. *sigh* the genre is about relaxing and making your mind drift with the music, but here I am feeling sad or..... I don't know what else.

 

Moments like these would normally cause me to relapse. I kinda wanna shed a tear or two. But no, I have to be strong. I have to be strong. "Come on Roman. Positive mental attitude."

 

What exactly is the point of 'no PMO'?

Porn isn't bad, so long as you don't watch too much of it. Likewise for masturbation.

[Payne Killer]

I don't know how I feel. Last night I was almost about to cry and feel waves of depression. Today when I woke up, I was energetic and content. As in the words of Niko Bellic replying to Roman's optimism, "I don't get it!".

 

I'm trying to go clean from PMO (google it, I'm not telling you what it means), and I'm on like, Day 3. This sucks, because I've spent so many years relapsing and suppressing my feelings that I don't know how I feel. For instance, last night, I felt depressed because of this PMO cycle. It usually begins when I sometimes have feelings. No, not sexual arousal, but general feelings that we all feel (ie, sadness, awkwardness etc..). So, instead of feeling them and embracing them, I freak out and resort to relapsing. The overwhelming depression afterward provides a blanket of numbness. It sucks to be depressed, but in order to escape depression, I.... well you know. The cycle.

 

I'm clean today, and I wanna remain clean. God knows I wanna be normal again and be a healthy 19 year old. *sigh* I have no clue how I feel.

 

--

 

In other feeling news, I've recently been taking a journey into Psychedelic Rock & Folk. Pretty cool stuff from the 60s. I'm staying away from the obvious songs about drug usage and other 'iffy' material, but the genre is amazing IMO. However, there's been this particular song stuck in my head. It's from this group that consists of a husband and wife (Euphoria - There Is Now). They both sound great on the song, but I've read their wiki and saw how long they've been married. Instantly, a wave of feelings came upon me. Resentment, isolation, uneasiness, worthlessness, and a tinge of depression. *sigh* the genre is about relaxing and making your mind drift with the music, but here I am feeling sad or..... I don't know what else.

 

Moments like these would normally cause me to relapse. I kinda wanna shed a tear or two. But no, I have to be strong. I have to be strong. "Come on Roman. Positive mental attitude."

No need to be ashamed of pmo.

[dudclub55]

Masturbation is love, masturbation is life.

Seriously, all those stupid old wives' tales piss me off, it's been scientifically proved that masturbation can't harm you provided it's done in moderation.

[Payne Killer]

Masturbation is love, masturbation is life.

Seriously, all those stupid old wives' tales piss me off, it's been scientifically proved that masturbation can't harm you provided it's done in moderation.

Doesn't it make you longer, or is that a myth.

[dudclub55]

lol that's a myth.

It doesn't make anything longer or shorter.

Besides your sex drive of course.

[Payne Killer]

^alright then

[Judicious 7]

 

 

What exactly is the point of 'no PMO'?

Porn isn't bad, so long as you don't watch too much of it. Likewise for masturbation.

 

The point is to rewire your brain and be normal. Sadly, I've developed an addiction to it. My brain is damaged by years of manipulating dopamine and decision pathways in my mind. Masturbation just reaffirms the addiction for me. It's like, having a glass of wine for an alcoholic. I'm addicted, and it sucks.

[LOES]

 

What exactly is the point of 'no PMO'?

Porn isn't bad, so long as you don't watch too much of it. Likewise for masturbation.

 

The point is to rewire your brain and be normal. Sadly, I've developed an addiction to it. My brain is damaged by years of manipulating dopamine and decision pathways in my mind. Masturbation just reaffirms the addiction for me. It's like, having a glass of wine for an alcoholic. I'm addicted, and it sucks.

I suggest nofap on reddit, or post here, that subreddit kinda makes people accountable for this situation and have milestones or relapses, etc.

[Judicious 7]

I suggest nofap on reddit, or post here, that subreddit kinda makes people accountable for this situation and have milestones or relapses, etc.

 

Yeah, I've been debating about whether to post there. The site is just so expansive and there's so much to say that I'm not sure where to begin. But I understand what you're saying. I really shouldn't be posting that stuff here.

[LOES]

 

I suggest nofap on reddit, or post here, that subreddit kinda makes people accountable for this situation and have milestones or relapses, etc.

 

Yeah, I've been debating about whether to post there. The site is just so expansive and there's so much to say that I'm not sure where to begin. But I understand what you're saying. I really shouldn't be posting that stuff here.

I get what you mean I just lurk on reddit, why don't you go ahead and make a topic, I'm sure it's not just you here with that problem. I've been where you are and it's hard especially when relapsing.

[Judicious 7]

I get what you mean I just lurk on reddit, why don't you go ahead and make a topic, I'm sure it's not just you here with that problem. I've been where you are and it's hard especially when relapsing.

 

I could, but there's been a few necro'd threads about porn addiction and no fap challenges and stuff. I'm kinda nervous about making a brand new topic about it due to the ridicule and mods locking the topic based on the title alone. I'll think about it.

[dudclub55]

 

 

 

 

What exactly is the point of 'no PMO'?

Porn isn't bad, so long as you don't watch too much of it. Likewise for masturbation.

 

The point is to rewire your brain and be normal. Sadly, I've developed an addiction to it. My brain is damaged by years of manipulating dopamine and decision pathways in my mind. Masturbation just reaffirms the addiction for me. It's like, having a glass of wine for an alcoholic. I'm addicted, and it sucks.

You're 19, man. There's nothing wrong with having sexual thoughts. No need to punish yourself.

But eey, you do as you please.

[Affalterbach]

f*ck that sh*t, use that right hand.

[LightningLord]

1. I'm so happy I did this in GTA Online:

 

 

 

2. I've been sick for the past day or two and it's not good. It's feels like I'm always hot, my throat keeps getting sore/dry and painful, my nose sometimes feels like it's burning, plus it feels like there's a gallon of mucus inside my nose, and I'm having stomach/abdominal pain. (Pain around my stomach and intestine area)

 

I'm starting to feel better now. Just relaxing now that I finally did the GTA Online flight school thing lol. Going to get a drink, hopefully that will calm me down.

 

3. I've been having negative thoughts again. Not the suicidal thoughts. Just something bad that's messing with my mind again. I don't like it. It makes me sad.

[Aby]

I'm annoyed that I saw GtaFiveLs post under some dude named Phoenix something, and I thought it was a double-post because their avatars are so similar .-.

 

GtaFiveLs, change your damn avatar or something

[Affalterbach]

I'm annoyed that I saw GtaFiveLs post under some dude named Phoenix something, and I thought it was a double-post because their avatars are so similar .-.

 

GtaFiveLs, change your damn avatar or something

You are not the only one that gets confused because of our avatars lol. I'll change it when i find a new avatar .

[tokyocean]

Not sure if this is a good or bad habit, but I'm extremely indecisive. If I see something I like, I'll take way too much time and effort thinking about whether or not I should buy it. I'm being completely honest. I do a lot of online browsing for clothing and other various items, and if I see something I'm interested in, I think so much about it. I often end up refraining from buying it because I'd find something about it that I dislike, which ends up saving me money. The downside's that it occupies quite a bit of my time and energy, and I should be using that time and energy for other tasks. It's annoying. I feel as if it's some sort of psychological issue I'm dealing with. I don't take decisions lightly. I know that the smallest decisions have the most drastic effects, so I'm going to think long and hard about minuscule sh*t that doesn't seem like it matters. It could even be the decision between McDonald's or Burger King. I'm indecisive, and I absolutely hate it.

[IveGotNoValues]

Does anyone else ever sort of fantasize about death and your own funeral? Like I would never actually have the balls to kill myself or anything, but I often find myself just sitting in my room listening to music and imagining all the ways I could possibly kill myself. Then I think about how certain people would react to my death and if they would even go to my funeral. Would people really give a sh*t (besides my family, I know I'm loved by them). Like this girl from my school that got hit by a car and died this past week, she was some super popular chick and everyone at school was crying all week and her name was all over the news. Honestly if I died I don't think people would have the same reaction. No one really knows me. I have like 2 friends and that's it...I know they'd care, but I'm kind of just a ghost around school, no one else really gives a sh*t about me. Oh well, I'd be dead anyway so I wouldn't care wither way.