The Retail Ladies of LS Appreciation

[fw3]

All of the primary in-game characters are flawed males. Martin, with his quirky, violent impatience. Lamar with his laid back swagger. Brucie with his... uh, neurotic psychotic insistence? And of course, Lester. <sigh>

The only females we get to encounter in this game are Merryweather lady and Mors Mutual mama, whom we never see.

Other than that, we get the occasional real-life female player and a whole bunch of creepy young men dressed up as female players.

So, I think it's time that as a collective of both boys and girls, men and women, we shine some of the appreciation for the ladies who work tirelessly to ensure that the shelves are stocked, the inventory is organized, and that we, the players, traverse the LS universe looking good.

The Retail Ladies of LS.

Who gets your vote for Best Overall?

Consider the factors:
• helpful
• knowledgeable
• attractiveness
• attitude

Here's four candidates from my perspective. Please feel free to add more:

1. Lydia at Ponsonby's
She's a handsome, older lady with years of experience. She's divorced, with two kids in middle school and lives adjacent to Michael, often spending time at his house, consoling his wife of her life challenges. Although she takes Wellbutrin, daily, she loves red wine and lobster. Stylish and smart, she's there to help find the ideal corporate identity for us all.


2. Deanna at Suburban (uptown)
She's a single lady who enjoys a mix of weeknight clubs and weekend at home with her two cats, Fiesta and Siesta, watching 80's movies. She's not defined by any clique or genre, but most would call her Alternative. She knows her business, but she's got her eyes on something bigger for a career. Don't push this sassy brassy, or you'll likely end up with case of cat scratch fever.


3. Claudia Belik at Binco
Claudia is the younger sister of Roman Belik, who moved to LS a few years after Roman's first heart attack at a local Bleeder Burger. Her thick, East European accent is a positive offset to her ability to host long, creepy stares without blinking. She enjoys Industrial music and Fusion jazz, and has a real knack for Bowling. To her, however, working at Binco is just a job. She'd rather be poolside with a frozen mudslide.


4. Allison at Suburban (downtown)
Don't let her modelesque, girl-next-door good looks fool you. This smart lady graduated at the top of her class from Syracuse in Environmental Law and is currently pursuing her Masters in Corporate Litigation. She works at Suburban part-time, but works at a local bank part-time, as well. On weekends, instead of partying hearty, she can be found either studying at the library or working the day shift at the Bean Machine coffee house. She's currently reading the 12 Goals of Epsilon, and has attended several free Kifflom breakfast meets.

Remember this is all in fun, and though none of these ladies are real, please exhibit respect. Cheers!

Edited May 3, 2015 by fw3

[Retired Mafia]

i would go for Lydia. she looks like an old sock but is the only one that doesn't offend me when i enter the shop. beside that she reminds me of breaking bad.

[TheGoodSgtScooter]

I'd also have to put my vote for Lydia. Either her or Deanna.

[fw3]

I have to admit, Lydia is about my age and I bet would be a hoot to hang out with, as long as she doesn't drone about her ex and alimony!

I gotta put my money on Allison. She's got a good head on her shoulders, though I don't know if I'd be able to keep up with her A-type personality.

I just don't have that kind of energy anymore! lol!

[G o d]

Allison can get it

[Turkish Turketarian]

Lydia is an old bitch who always claims I can't afford to shop there. If only you could see my bank account you old bat.

 

Claudia.. her vocabulary is too small "um... whuuut?" "Huuuuh?" every time I enter.

 

Alison complains about her job too much, just quit already.

 

The other one I don't even recognize lol. Not sure if the dialogue is a coincidence, but the chick at the Suburban near Sandy Shores is always cheery to me Honestly, they all end up dead when I come around anyway.

[Chloroform]

Is it bad that I always take a peek at Allison ass when I look for pants.

[Catlas Se7en]

Is it bad that I always take a peek at Allison ass when I look for pants.

No. No it is not

[Chloroform]

 

 

Is it bad that I always take a peek at Allison ass when I look for pants.

No. No it is not

She has an ass you can bounce a quarter off of.

[Catlas Se7en]

 

 

Is it bad that I always take a peek at Allison ass when I look for pants.

No. No it is not

She has an ass you can bounce a quarter off of.

 

Which one is she at. I've never seen her.

[Eggobites90]

Deanna and Allison : )

[Pete4000uk]

Allison every time

[JON22]

But....but......pixels! They're pixels?!?¿¡⸮

[Catlas Se7en]

But....but......pixels! They're pixels?!?¿¡⸮

Shhh, let us dream

[Chloroform]

But....but......pixels! They're pixels?!?¿¡⸮

So is the porn we watch or the girl (or guy) magazines we read but I get what you're saying.

Edited May 3, 2015 by Chloroform

[Mr. Scratch]

What the f*ck is going on in here?

[Cutter De Blanc]

Claudia is always so polite when I rob her store and shoot her in the head!

[Chloroform]

What the f*ck is going on in here?

Oh you know

[Catlas Se7en]

 

What the f*ck is going on in here?

Oh you know

 

Just discussing ladies

[Mr. Scratch]

 

What the f*ck is going on in here?

Oh you know

I'd rather not.

[MayoChiki]

Lydia is an old bitch who always claims I can't afford to shop there. If only you could see my bank account you old bat.

 

Claudia.. her vocabulary is too small "um... whuuut?" "Huuuuh?" every time I enter.

 

Alison complains about her job too much, just quit already.

 

The other one I don't even recognize lol. Not sure if the dialogue is a coincidence, but the chick at the Suburban near Sandy Shores is always cheery to me Honestly, they all end up dead when I come around anyway.

 

[Turkish Turketarian]

 

 

Lydia is an old bitch who always claims I can't afford to shop there. If only you could see my bank account you old bat.

 

Claudia.. her vocabulary is too small "um... whuuut?" "Huuuuh?" every time I enter.

 

Alison complains about her job too much, just quit already.

 

The other one I don't even recognize lol. Not sure if the dialogue is a coincidence, but the chick at the Suburban near Sandy Shores is always cheery to me Honestly, they all end up dead when I come around anyway.

 

 

Lmao that's hilarious xD

[fw3]

What the f*ck is going on in here?

 

What in here, the f**k is going on.

 

Yes, you have just been Yoda'd on May 4th.

 

 

[gear999]

What about the uhh... uh... Pegasus lady? The one that likes to torment you by placing your aircraft at the "nearest" airfield at an absurd cost of 200$...

[Bxx]

Lydia is the best worker, she keeps it on a calm tone and try to be helpful while the other ladies at S

 

 

Lydia is an old bitch who always claims I can't afford to shop there. If only you could see my bank account you old bat.

Claudia.. her vocabulary is too small "um... whuuut?" "Huuuuh?" every time I enter.

Alison complains about her job too much, just quit already.

The other one I don't even recognize lol. Not sure if the dialogue is a coincidence, but the chick at the Suburban near Sandy Shores is always cheery to me Honestly, they all end up dead when I come around anyway.

 

 

I like how 25% of the video is just stupid intros with awful music.

10/10, would watch again.

[fw3]

Lydia is the best worker, she keeps it on a calm tone and try to be helpful while the other ladies at S

 

 

Lydia is an old bitch who always claims I can't afford to shop there. If only you could see my bank account you old bat.

 

Claudia.. her vocabulary is too small "um... whuuut?" "Huuuuh?" every time I enter.

 

Alison complains about her job too much, just quit already.

 

The other one I don't even recognize lol. Not sure if the dialogue is a coincidence, but the chick at the Suburban near Sandy Shores is always cheery to me Honestly, they all end up dead when I come around anyway.

 

 

I like how 25% of the video is just stupid intros with awful music.

10/10, would watch again.

 

I just noticed the Epsilon logo on his shirt. lol!! Keeping it GTAV relevant!

 

Edited May 5, 2015 by fw3

[saintsrow]

 

 

Is it bad that I always take a peek at Allison ass when I look for pants.

No. No it is not

She has an ass you can bounce a quarter off of.

 

Now, you see, THIS is the kind of RAGE engine physics we need

[Spaghetti Cat]

Deanna: Even though it's 90 degrees outside she still keeps it hipsterish by wearing a scarf and leather jacket. Plus she's a freak between the sheets!

[Catlas Se7en]

Deanna: Even though it's 90 degrees outside she still keeps it hipsterish by wearing a scarf and leather jacket. Plus she's a freak between the sheets!

How do you know?