Heist failure stories

[Super Grunt 281]

A Pacific Standard finale that would have been a first try if that wasn't for me screwing up the jump from the mountain, I decided to do it on foot like the last time, at the same spot but didn't went far enough, presumably from the vest.

 

There was a retry but host died during the getaway, me screwing up doomed that attempt.

 

I went from feeling like the ultimate badass by using using the minigun between the bank and the bikes to a fool, I was pissed and I felt bad.

 

I rejoined the host with different randoms (the previous 2 did nothing wrong at all by the way) and we did it after multiple restarts, ended up escaping with a Police Riot and plowing through cops, I still used the minigun so in the end I felt better.

 

EDIT : okay the heist still had a chance to fail but I had faith with a rank 14, 80 and about 74 (NOOSE not called) .

Edited November 21, 2022 by Super Grunt 281

[Exsanguination]

On 11/20/2022 at 4:10 PM, Exsanguination said:

Been playing Cayo with randoms… repeated failures due to players doing way more shooting than necessary, and why attack the juggernaut? 
 

 

Should update and say I’ve had a couple good ones today. One with a 1300+ player as host… I just followed him and grabbed gold. Easy

 

just finished another with a random as host and we did awesome as well and finished with elite challenge … 

 

these are going on call via job menu and playing others heists btw

Edited November 22, 2022 by Exsanguination

[Giantsgiants]

Joined a random heist earlier and it was the Pacific Standard Finale. I was thinking "Jackpot!". The cuts were 55-15-15-15. I took it since I just wanted the sweater. We got to the clothes selection screen and then I got booted to the clouds. I had no idea why, the notification message popped for only a millisecond.

 

Another guy and I joined an in-progress heist through Reddit just now. We got through Hack and Convoy. Host sent me an invite but I got a message saying "Invites are disabled for this session". Huh? I've never seen that message before. I couldn't get in but the other guy did. He told me that it wasn't a Pacific Standard setup they did. Everyone in the party spontaneously left after that. Now I have to leave for work.

 

FUUUUU- I just want the sweater.

Edited November 23, 2022 by Giantsgiants

[hugh750]

4 hours ago, Giantsgiants said:

 I just want the sweater.

me too besides the cash.

tonight i was hosting pac standard on hard.

i had 3 randoms join, one was a level 54.

we kept failing because two of the randoms kept getting killed, me and the level 54  died the least, i restarted the heist at least 4 times because i swear we kept getting randoms that weren't good.

plus it didn't help when the randoms kept killng the hostages (why do they do that)?

[Exsanguination]

Solo Cayo heist, I’m moving around like I know what I’m doing and go to pick the first guard off and BANG! I forgot suppressors 

 

minor set back

[Lance Mayhem]

34 minutes ago, Exsanguination said:

Solo Cayo heist, I’m moving around like I know what I’m doing and go to pick the first guard off and BANG! I forgot suppressors 

 

minor set back

Reminds me of how I did several heists with the Velum / airstrip approach, then finally got around to some Kosatka and Longfin infiltrations. 

 

After several of these water approaches, I went back to a Velum at the airstrip strategy...and totally forgot about the weapons stash. 

 

 

I was the randumb in a solo mission. 

[Giantsgiants]

Managed to get the Pacific Standard sweater for both characters. On my second character, every high level that joined insisted on taking a car and it always ended in the cops shooting out our tires, boxing us in, and lighting us up. I've had a higher success rate with randoms sticking to the bikes. You're a smaller target on the bikes so it's harder for cops to shoot your tires, ram you, or box you in. Furthermore, the bikes have better off road traction than a traffic car. All the car fails came when we got to the canyon and the car just struggled on the narrow dirt roads.

 

I know The Professional likes to use a car for this heist but I can't seem to make it work. Anyone know how the car method is done?

[ajalkane]

On 11/21/2022 at 2:36 AM, Super Grunt 281 said:

A Pacific Standard finale that would have been a first try if that wasn't for me screwing up the jump from the mountain, I decided to do it on foot like the last time, at the same spot but didn't went far enough, presumably from the vest.

 

There was a retry but host died during the getaway, me screwing up doomed that attempt.

 

I went from feeling like the ultimate badass by using using the minigun between the bank and the bikes to a fool, I was pissed and I felt bad.

 

I rejoined the host with different randoms (the previous 2 did nothing wrong at all by the way) and we did it after multiple restarts, ended up escaping with a Police Riot and plowing through cops, I still used the minigun so in the end I felt better.

 

EDIT : okay the heist still had a chance to fail but I had faith with a rank 14, 80 and about 74 (NOOSE not called) .

 

Brother my utmost respects to you. There's nothing wrong in failing. But the will to persevere and learn through them and get the job done, that is what I appreciate.

On 11/23/2022 at 6:28 AM, hugh750 said:

plus it didn't help when the randoms kept killng the hostages (why do they do that)?

 

Killing hostages gets you the police armored van. And it's easy after that.

 

[Super Grunt 281]

6 hours ago, ajalkane said:

 

Brother my utmost respects to you. There's nothing wrong in failing. But the will to persevere and learn through them and get the job done, that is what I appreciate.

 

Killing hostages gets you the police armored van. And it's easy after that.

 

The jump to my death must have looked like a very dumb move since I rushed (I didn't think much the last time either) , it's mostly embarrassing but it's also not going to incentive people to invite me (not that I'm worried, there are randoms everywhere) .

 

That aside, I don't leave during a heist unless maybe it's doomed by stupid bugs (like the invisble hangar door but I might not join the host again for various reasons should something happen to the lobby.

 

Also another failure : mid-air collision at the end of act III (no yolo helicopter, my fault) but at least we got the annoying hacking behind us, it would have been a single try on hard without this.

[God-eater]

11 hours ago, Giantsgiants said:

Managed to get the Pacific Standard sweater for both characters. On my second character, every high level that joined insisted on taking a car and it always ended in the cops shooting out our tires, boxing us in, and lighting us up. I've had a higher success rate with randoms sticking to the bikes. You're a smaller target on the bikes so it's harder for cops to shoot your tires, ram you, or box you in. Furthermore, the bikes have better off road traction than a traffic car. All the car fails came when we got to the canyon and the car just struggled on the narrow dirt roads.

 

I know The Professional likes to use a car for this heist but I can't seem to make it work. Anyone know how the car method is done?

 

Unless you've got some particular reason to use a car (like you've set yourself the challenge or something), I wouldn't bother with a car at all. As you say, too easy to get boxed in by cops and cars struggle at Chiliad - not to mention 4 people parachuting out of a car at the exact same time is asking for trouble. The only reason you'd use a car is so you can't get knocked flying like you can on bikes.  

 

The best way with randoms is still the NOOSE Van. Problem there, of course, is the randoms. Rarely do hosts even put Player Saved Outfits on, even more rarely do they know aboutvthe NOOSE Van, and even even more rarely do they know about the bike checkpoint teleport.  And since they're randoms, trying to explain any of this to them is like herding cats, since they won't listen, try to listen but still f*ck it up no matter how simply you put it, or (my favorite) do the exact opposite of what you said because they absolutely refuse to do what someone tells them. 

 

So, to recap: with 3 friends, do it any way you like and it will work; with randoms who listen (1% of playerbase), NOOSE van and it will work; Standard Issue Randoms, same ridiculous crapshoot as always, 90% failure rate, even if you do succeed it'll be after many restarts and losing a significant percentage of the take.

 

And you'll never work so hard for a sweater in your life.

 

 

[Paerindal]

1 hour ago, God-eater said:

The best way with randoms is still the NOOSE Van.

What about chopper of Vespucci Police Station?

[Rotorhead359]

14 hours ago, Giantsgiants said:

Managed to get the Pacific Standard sweater for both characters. On my second character, every high level that joined insisted on taking a car and it always ended in the cops shooting out our tires, boxing us in, and lighting us up. I've had a higher success rate with randoms sticking to the bikes. You're a smaller target on the bikes so it's harder for cops to shoot your tires, ram you, or box you in. Furthermore, the bikes have better off road traction than a traffic car. All the car fails came when we got to the canyon and the car just struggled on the narrow dirt roads.

 

I know The Professional likes to use a car for this heist but I can't seem to make it work. Anyone know how the car method is done?

Don't the bikes actually have bulletproof tyres?

24 minutes ago, Paerindal said:

What about chopper of Vespucci Police Station?

Same as with the Noose van, except with added cheat accusations, and possible quitting / trolling.

Edited November 26, 2022 by Rotorhead359

[God-eater]

46 minutes ago, Paerindal said:

What about chopper of Vespucci Police Station?

Ahhh-hahahahaha that's adorable. 

 

Randoms who start shooting everything in sight the microsecond they have any downtime and you think they'll sit still while you set up the chopper? We're talking about people who don't even know to equip an RPG to control the crowd. The chopper is a myth to these people.

 

@Rotorhead359 yes, they definitely are. Why the name change, btw? 

Edited November 26, 2022 by God-eater

[Nerfgoth]

2 hours ago, God-eater said:

not to mention 4 people parachuting out of a car at the exact same time is asking for trouble.

 

You don´t! You just drive of the cliff while taking care not to bounce all ove the place and then just drive to the dingy.....

 

31 minutes ago, Rotorhead359 said:

Don't the bikes actually have bulletproof tyres?

 

I think so in Pac Stan

[Paerindal]

On 11/26/2022 at 5:02 PM, God-eater said:

Randoms who start shooting everything in sight the microsecond they have any downtime and you think they'll sit still while you set up the chopper?

Well, it's already a challenge to dissuade them from opening the back doors of the stockade brickade to play with guns. So, why not the helicopter? The only risk is that one of them has the idea to jump and crash to the ground just to see what it feels.

Edited November 27, 2022 by Paerindal

[krotex]

14 hours ago, ajalkane said:

Killing hostages gets you the police armored van. And it's easy after that.

Is it easy to make your way through a lot of police cars in a clumsy van with punched wheels?  Usually this option ends with restart.

No guys, the easiest option is to calmly sit on motorcycles and calmly ride. Without raising the alarm and without firing on the road. Over-anxiety and panic are killing you. I've already done this route so many times... You don't even need to use acceleration or lift the front wheel. Just driving calmly and calmly avoiding police cars. In fact, there are not many of them and they are slightly lethargic and predictable.

[SpaceBeagle]

16 hours ago, Exsanguination said:

Solo Cayo heist, I’m moving around like I know what I’m doing and go to pick the first guard off and BANG! I forgot suppressors 

 

minor set back

 

LOL, this is something like the other day when I was in guards disguise on main docks - as I play in first person I shoot one guard & camera, pick up loot, and then I run behind other guard to smack him on head with gun... and after pressing smacking button I see my FIST going up and 'bonk' him on top of head  ... that run didn't go well, but it was funny standing there confused with empty hands  

[God-eater]

51 minutes ago, Nerfgoth said:

 

You don´t! You just drive of the cliff while taking care not to bounce all ove the place and then just drive to the dingy.....

I distinctly recall several fails where someone blew up the car and all the money inside it by going that way. 

 

Using a car is the worst possible escape besides the bikes. Even the bikes arn't really that bad - just that everyone insists on gluing themselves to the GPS and staying on roads. 

 

Here's an ancient bike pro-tip that is essentially forgotten - besides having one guy carry all the cash, let that same guy have a decent headstart - that way they get the easiest ride. But, again, randoms would bowl over their own mothers rather than let someone else get somewhere first, so there's another winning strategy randoms ignore (because, and I can't stress this enough, randoms in GTA are the single most useless, stupid, brain-damaged, short-sighted, lazy, greedy, toxic asshat collective in the entire history of the human race). 

[God-eater]

37 minutes ago, Paerindal said:

Well, it's already a challenge to dissuade them from opening the back doors of the stockade to play with guns. So, why not the helicopter? The only risk is that one of them has the idea to jump and crash to the ground just to see what it feels.

 

You must meet different randoms than I do. Dissuade them from opening the doors? Dude, I can't even get them to get in the van in the first place. 

 

@krotex the key to the NOOSE Van is momentum - basically, don't crash or stop - then your tires remain intact and it's just a drive up the freeway. Obviously, not killing cops is equally important so they don't go beast mode. In other words, if your NOOSE Van is getting all 4 tires shot out and you're getting dogpiled by cops, you're doing it wrong.

 

If keeping as much money as possible is your goal, NOOSE Van is the only choice (that doesn't involve cheating - like it or not, the chopper is an exploit and thus is cheating).

[Paerindal]

53 minutes ago, God-eater said:

If keeping as much money as possible is your goal, NOOSE Van is the only choice (that doesn't involve cheating - like it or not, the chopper is an exploit and thus is cheating).

If involve chopper is cheating how do you complete Elite challenge?

[hugh750]

1 hour ago, krotex said:

Is it easy to make your way through a lot of police cars in a clumsy van with punched wheels?  Usually this option ends with restart.

No guys, the easiest option is to calmly sit on motorcycles and calmly ride. Without raising the alarm and without firing on the road. Over-anxiety and panic are killing you. I've already done this route so many times... You don't even need to use acceleration or lift the front wheel. Just driving calmly and calmly avoiding police cars. In fact, there are not many of them and they are slightly lethargic and predictable.

the way we made it to the boat was one of the randoms pretty much used a variation of an old trick i used to do in 2015.

instead of using the apartment near the bikes to use an armored kuruma, the random used a noose van and took the ocean highway to the long bridge that crosses the marsh, before you drive on to the bridge there's a small opening between the bridge and guardrail.

just go through the opening and down a small cliff you can make it to the boat.

[Nerfgoth]

5 hours ago, God-eater said:

I distinctly recall several fails where someone blew up the car and all the money inside it by going that way.

 

There is a sweet spot after the last yellow checkpoint to drive down....

[God-eater]

5 hours ago, Nerfgoth said:

 

There is a sweet spot after the last yellow checkpoint to drive down....

Yes, I'm well aware. The point I'm trying to make is that most randoms are incapable of deviating from the method the game tells them to use.

 

For example, a Pac Standard I was on, I was in the van with one of the crew. We were on our 4th or so restart, and my bladder was about to explode, so I had to give up the driver's seat. I get us onto the freeway, find a lull between cop swarms, pull over, jump out, hop I into the back and dead sprint for the bathroom. Power hosed the toilet and bolted back to my controller, figuring I'll be back in plenty of time to transfer to the boat. Ah-ha-ha, fool that I am...

 

To my chagrin (but not surprise), the dipsh*t who took over is now meandering through Senora because they're following the GPS which is taking them to the bridge jump. So now there's no way we'll beat the timer. Incidentally, this was the same run where I had been sitting in the boat 2 or 3 times before someone failed, and two of those fails were from blowing up a car as they came off the bridge. 

 

You can know every trick in the book, but it doesn't matter because the randoms don't. They don't know, you can't tell them because they simply won't listen, and they won't learn on their own because lateral thinking is utterly beyond them.

 

@Paerindal you don't. If you're using the chopper then you've done a restart, so no Elite challenge. Unless you mean go for the chopper after the heist, in which case you're dealing with the random spawn at Vespucci and the fact that you're trying to get up there while being swarmed by cops, meaning lost money, lost lives and lost time. But yeah, I feel ya - Elite challenges on OG Heists pretty much require throwing the rulebook out of the window (or executing the mission at Olympic gold medal levels of perfection - famously, even the devs couldn't get Fleeca elite). 

 

 

 

[God-eater]

10 hours ago, hugh750 said:

the way we made it to the boat was one of the randoms pretty much used a variation of an old trick i used to do in 2015.

instead of using the apartment near the bikes to use an armored kuruma, the random used a noose van and took the ocean highway to the long bridge that crosses the marsh, before you drive on to the bridge there's a small opening between the bridge and guardrail.

just go through the opening and down a small cliff you can make it to the boat.

 

 Yes, this is what we mean by "NOOSE Van escape". It is indeed the replacement for the old Kuruma trick. Gotta say, I'm little surprised you didn't get what we've been talking about. 

 

Just in case anyone else isn't clear:

 

Pac Standard NOOSE Van escape:

 

Choose player saved outfits, then select the outfit with the Heavy Utility Vest that you already have saved

Hacker takes all of the cash.

Crowd control wastes hostages to trigger the alarm & summon NOOSE.

At the breakout, Hacker waits at the bank, while the other(s) bolt for the bikes.

• Pro tip: do not get bogged down fighting cops. You've got the Heavy Vest so just ignore the cops in the alley. Kill anyone in your way but skirt around the main path - from the top of the alley, duck right, over the fence, shoot the cop that spawns in front of you, run to wall, jump over. If you need to snack up, do it here. Hit checkpoint but then double back around the north side of the building, RPG the sh*t out of anything in the street & the two choppers, head for the bikes.

At the bikes, blow them up then kill yourself.

Restart, respawn at bikes. 

Get on bikes, follow the GPS - about a block & a half down Spanish Avenue (right outside the Ammu-nation) there is the ramp that everyone uses; right next to that there is a NOOSE Van you can take. Do that.

Drive west to the freeway, take the freeway all the way to Raton Canyon, go offroad at the start of the bridge and get to the dinghy.

Drive straight into the water, transfer to the dinghy sharpish, sail into victory & piles of money.

 

 

[Snakeywakey389]

If you follow the route and are alone, the cops won't be that aggressive. If I see an Infernus, I will take it since it is faster and can handle offroad just fine.

[Nerfgoth]

6 hours ago, God-eater said:

Elite challenges on OG Heists pretty much require throwing the rulebook out of the window (or executing the mission at Olympic gold medal levels of perfection - famously, even the devs couldn't get Fleeca elite). 

 

Huh what? It is the heist where there is no room for errors. It is all down to owning the right apartment. Same with Series A, Humane and Pacific Standard.

 

Throwing out the rule book was the first thing that surprised when I started doing the elite.

[Snakeywakey389]

1 hour ago, Nerfgoth said:

 

Huh what? It is the heist where there is no room for errors. It is all down to owning the right apartment. Same with Series A, Humane and Pacific Standard.

 

Throwing out the rule book was the first thing that surprised when I started doing the elite.

This is horrible game design right here.

[Exsanguination]

Fleeca scope out, lvl 33 joins…. No prob easy mission… we get almost out to the bank and they get bored and start shooting NPC cars…. Wanted level obtained, setup failed 

 

cmon guys 

[Rotorhead359]

I just had a spectacular fail in the Cayo Perico heist, because one player decided not to listen. I would post his name here if naming & shaming wasn't against the forum rules.

 

I joined a random Cayo Perico heist on call, and there were 4 players. We took the standard Kosatka + Drainage approach.

Surprisingly, we managed to get through the compound undetected. (except no full bags because there wasn't enough loot for us all, only 5 gold, 1 cash, and no painting)

 

We were still well on track for the elite challenge, so we decided to get some more loot from the main docks. And then it went all to hell.

 

We accidentally set off the alarm on our way. By that time, we still had not voided the elite challenge, so we pushed through to the main docks to get full loot bags.

I got killed first, because as I came out of the storage, finally with a full bag, El Rubio himself gunned me down immediately.

At that point, the sensible random called for a restart (because dead players reduces the loot, and it does void elite)

 

The other players had jumped in the water, and only one was still alive. Main loot had been dropped, and the take was reduced to one bag of gold.

While me, the host, and the third random were spectating, and calling to quick restart, the 4th player decided to play deaf, and crossed the finish line with minimum take.

That was a good heist setup wasted for a silly final take of less than a quarter of a million.

 

In hindsight, we should have foregone the elite challenge, and just taken the swim off with 3.5 loot bags, and not risk exactly what had just happened.

 

I have always thought the Pacific Standard heist was bad, but I need to reconsider after this. At least on Pacific Standard, money loss is capped at ~50%, so your actual take will always be 50%.

On Cayo Perico, your actual take can be zero, if the surviving players have empty loot bags and the main target was dropped.

Edited November 27, 2022 by Rotorhead359

[BJBooBoo]

Tldr leader somehow blows self up on the boat.