Heist failure stories

[Anthropomorphic]

I was playing the Labs Raid with a couple of random guys and I was one of the ground team. When we had finally completed our mission after around five tries and was waiting for the helicopter to pick us up on the beach, the pilot had a hard time landing and I ended up being killed by the rotor blades.

 

After we had restarted, I got a text from him saying "sorry"

Edited March 18, 2015 by Anthropomorphic

[Jehannum]

While driving along a narrow pass two of my cats made a play for my dinner plate. In shooing them off I span off the road and ended up upside down in a river. Rocking the joystick had no effect - the car was wedged in the narrow riverbed.

 

It didn't fail the heist but did delay it a bit while I went up to the highway and tried to steal another car, which was an achingly slow station wagon.

[AGNT009]

Human labs finale has the BIGGEST sand trap of all time. Was on the ground crew for the finale this time. Same result. I was the only one with a working mic. Pilot set down with tail in water, I started yelling GET THE TAIL ROTAR OUT OF THE WATER! I think he heard me because he quickly tried to ascend but it was too late. Heist fail. At least I dont feel as bad that Im not the only one making this mistake.

[WhiteFishyStick]

Just tried Prison Heist for 100th time. Mind you, I completed them all and just join random Heists now, it jist seems that 90% still play or prefer to play Prison Heist. So I've done every role, basically can do it with my eyes closed with one hand behind the back.

Unfortunately today the game decides to screw me big time. Everything goes well, all in plane (me pilot), taking off, BAM, "cops won't disappear" glitch. You know the one where they won't loose sight whatever you do, and the only way to fix it, is for everyone to exit the vehicle? Unfortunately you can't exit velum. 2nd try, all in plane, same glitch, 3rd same glitch. All the while receiving WTF messages from teammates, as apparently no one uses mic nor listens to what I'm saying. Have to write to each member a text so they understand what's going on. Text the host to start over and switch the roles, makes himself pilot, again all in plane, taking off... Same glitch. F you game, F you rockstar, F you, F you...

[Pedinhuh]

Prison heist.

After 40 minutes stuck inside that slow ass plane trying to evade the magical cops, we made it to the corona and jump to the beach, I land just but my two retarded friends manages to commit suicide for opening the chute on time....

 

I was the host and righteously LIVID!

[Blankerz]

Fleeca - My role was to hold the staff/customers at gunpoint, top left tip box appeared saying I can point my gun at people or shout at them to intimidate and stupidly I thought "Oooo we have a 'shout' button now?!" so I started hitting all the buttons (hit left on the d-pad) only to throw a grenade right at the feet of the customers... you can guess the rest lol, I am a spoon.

[roboticsuperman]

The bus driver ran over a guard. Come on!

[CarnageRacing00]

Just tried Prison Heist for 100th time. Mind you, I completed them all and just join random Heists now, it jist seems that 90% still play or prefer to play Prison Heist. So I've done every role, basically can do it with my eyes closed with one hand behind the back.

Unfortunately today the game decides to screw me big time. Everything goes well, all in plane (me pilot), taking off, BAM, "cops won't disappear" glitch. You know the one where they won't loose sight whatever you do, and the only way to fix it, is for everyone to exit the vehicle? Unfortunately you can't exit velum. 2nd try, all in plane, same glitch, 3rd same glitch. All the while receiving WTF messages from teammates, as apparently no one uses mic nor listens to what I'm saying. Have to write to each member a text so they understand what's going on. Text the host to start over and switch the roles, makes himself pilot, again all in plane, taking off... Same glitch. F you game, F you rockstar, F you, F you...

You're supposed to keep someone in the Buzzard to fight off the police choppers, Velum loses its wanted level, then Buzzard makes its escape.

[jobnocky71]

Fleeca - My role was to hold the staff/customers at gunpoint, top left tip box appeared saying I can point my gun at people or shout at them to intimidate and stupidly I thought "Oooo we have a 'shout' button now?!" so I started hitting all the buttons (hit left on the d-pad) only to throw a grenade right at the feet of the customers... you can guess the rest lol, I am a spoon.

lol brilliant

[Hit by Lightning]

Hilarious stories

[HirsuteDave]

 

Just tried Prison Heist for 100th time. Mind you, I completed them all and just join random Heists now, it jist seems that 90% still play or prefer to play Prison Heist. So I've done every role, basically can do it with my eyes closed with one hand behind the back.

Unfortunately today the game decides to screw me big time. Everything goes well, all in plane (me pilot), taking off, BAM, "cops won't disappear" glitch. You know the one where they won't loose sight whatever you do, and the only way to fix it, is for everyone to exit the vehicle? Unfortunately you can't exit velum. 2nd try, all in plane, same glitch, 3rd same glitch. All the while receiving WTF messages from teammates, as apparently no one uses mic nor listens to what I'm saying. Have to write to each member a text so they understand what's going on. Text the host to start over and switch the roles, makes himself pilot, again all in plane, taking off... Same glitch. F you game, F you rockstar, F you, F you...

You're supposed to keep someone in the Buzzard to fight off the police choppers, Velum loses its wanted level, then Buzzard makes its escape.

 

But that's the problem - you can never break contact with the cops even when there's no helicopters anywhere near you.

[DMCDante1987]

The Pacific Standard, if you suck at driving a bike please quit GTA. I can't believe how many people fail consistently at the bike chase. It blows my mind how terrible the average GTA random I get is.

[patrizl001]

Prison break-Station.

 

i thought you had to use the crane and jump off it with a parachute in order to get on the cargo ship. I climb onto he middle part in order to jump. I move forward but instead, i move backwards and fall. My head hits the edge of the crane, and i fall and go splat right on the ship.

Edited March 18, 2015 by patrizl001

[Soran Is On]

Prison break finale - Police chopper rams velum, kills everyone. Restart. I shoot down a police chopper as the velum is taking off... the wreckage lands on the plane and destroys it.

[WhiteFishyStick]

 

 

Just tried Prison Heist for 100th time. Mind you, I completed them all and just join random Heists now, it jist seems that 90% still play or prefer to play Prison Heist. So I've done every role, basically can do it with my eyes closed with one hand behind the back.

Unfortunately today the game decides to screw me big time. Everything goes well, all in plane (me pilot), taking off, BAM, "cops won't disappear" glitch. You know the one where they won't loose sight whatever you do, and the only way to fix it, is for everyone to exit the vehicle? Unfortunately you can't exit velum. 2nd try, all in plane, same glitch, 3rd same glitch. All the while receiving WTF messages from teammates, as apparently no one uses mic nor listens to what I'm saying. Have to write to each member a text so they understand what's going on. Text the host to start over and switch the roles, makes himself pilot, again all in plane, taking off... Same glitch. F you game, F you rockstar, F you, F you...

You're supposed to keep someone in the Buzzard to fight off the police choppers, Velum loses its wanted level, then Buzzard makes its escape.

 

But that's the problem - you can never break contact with the cops even when there's no helicopters anywhere near you.

 

 

What HirsuteDave said.

 

Anyway here's one that almost made me throw the game disc in the trash can:

 

Pacific standard, 11-13 year old host, slightly annoying, but he did good, so no problems here. Another 12 year old demands 25%. Host 12 year old rightfully says "Are u mad? You didn't do any setups etc." Guest 12 year old starts screamin' and kickin'. I get tired and raise my voice, tell them to kindly shut up and host to give 20% each 40% for himself (my reasoning: I'm more than capable, having done all heists a couple of times and I gotta have some incentive to stay, as there will most definitely be lots of restarting and very high probability of someone giving up and leaving, so a PROSPECT of 20% is a suitable compensation for lost time and braincells), everyone agreed and started the job.

 

So far so good, crowd control even managed NOT to kill hostages (very very surprised), so no NOOSE. An older south European guy who took the liberty of leading as through the alley with his funny accent and the demanding 12 year old died in the alley, so restarted, no biggie, got to the bikes with about 900k (normal). Needless to say it took a few tries as both 12 year olds died a few times (expected). Finally we all (as we thought) get to the mountain and to the jump. South European guy, capable 12 year old host and I all make it to the boat only to hear that the demanding 12 year old first: "My bike is not moving", then "I lost the bike", "I'm stuck, can't get out", "I'm running", then apparently he found a vehicle as his blip started moving fast on the map... too fast in fact, "I've fallen", "I'm running", "I'm running"... He faceplanted on the boat with the timer showing 00:01... and then 00:00.

 

Restart, hear his mom screaming, says "ok, can you guys give me a ride? I have to AFK", I tell him to jump on my bike, he jumps on another 12 year old's bike and they drive off. We are screwed now... They crush in the first 20sec, the AFK 12 year old obviously unable to jump back on the bike, causing host 12 year old to scream and kick this time, they die, everyone leaves in restart screen, but the AFK kid... "Hello? I'm back"

 

2nd try with the same host kid, and 2 other randoms imbaciles from his open IGN crew. Host kid (silent this time, probably got his mom angered screaming "fuk dis! fuk dis!" at the end of last try) gave me 20% right away this time, but decided to leave his "crew members" with 15 each, all agreed. One imbecile decides to get to the bank on a bicycle... the other one on a 6 wheel Dubsta decides to smash the guy on the bicycle. Miraculously, bicycle dude survives. Dubsta dude proceeds to fails the mission, because he decides to shoot a few civilians on the way. Restart by the bank, both dudes get brutally smashed by incoming traffic when they try to cross the street. Miraculously, they survive.

In the bank. Tell them politelly "Whatever you do, please don't shoot the hostages, okay?", in a few seconds they respond to my request by blowing hostages with granades... :I Thank you, I appreciate your cooperation. After 5 restarts on the bikes with these two randoms dying, host kid left.

 

Joined him 3rd time, he kicked me, because you know, it was all MY fault

[pandasarerad]

Did the Prison Break quite well, and jumped out of the plane with everyone celebrating. Apparently I didn't open the parachute early enough, 'cause I f*cking ate it SO HARD.

[Daemian]

Humane raid, Deliver EMP, everything has gone perfectly and we were leaving in the van, only to find that all 4 tires had gone flat somehow (we silently killed everyone, no stray bullets), and couldn't make it up the hill to leave, time ran out and we failed.

You don't need to go to the hill if you're in the humane van near the garage, just follow the route and you shouldn't raise suspicion if you don't engage the convoy.

[STARLORD-1480]

Final part of the final heist. Me and 2 friends waiting for a random to fill the 4th spot.

We wait for about 10 mins, just chatting between ourselves to pass the time, when suddenly we snag one. Only a level 45 but better than nothing.

 

For future reference, part of this guys name was Warden so this is what I'll call him.

 

Attempt #1: Warden gets killed by a security guard within seconds of arriving at the bank.

 

Attempt #2: Warden makes it out of the bank, gets killed by police in the street.

 

Attempt #3: Warden makes it into the alleyway, doesn't see the guy hiding on the left. Warden dies.

 

Attempt #4: Warden makes it to the bikes, immediately rides into the side of a car. Warden dies.

 

Attempt #5 - #10: Warden dies at various points on the bike journey.

 

Attempt #11: Warden makes it to the point where you parachute from your bike. All is well...

 

... Warden hits a tree. Warden dies.

 

Attempt #12: We make it to the bikes once more. Warden leaves the game.

 

 

Therefore, since then, whenever we meet a terrible player, they get referred to as Warden. Further more, I propose that the GTAO forum members add "WARDEN" to the lexicon of slang for the meaning of a crap player.

[ScooterEightyTwo]

I have one more story to tell of Prison Break, & this may be the most annoying. The Prisoner (I was the Officer) smashes in a window on the bus as we pull up to the "Park the Prison Bus" corona. This would be ok if it hadn't resulted in the guards shooting & killing us DURING the 'getting-off-the-bus' cutscene. I rage quit after this as I had been trying for over an hour to get this done.

 

Egh...

Edited March 18, 2015 by Scooter8299

[ChaosSoul288]

After at least 50 attempts at my Pacific standard heist (im so serious) we all finally made it off the cliff, nobody rolling down the mountain, nobody hit a tree, nobody just flat out didnt pull their chute (all happend on previous attempts) it was perfect i was so happy that we were finally done and since my buddy joe got there first he took over the boat "alright llets finish this" he says, lester is even like hell yeah you did it, then he proceeds to go full speed at like the only turn possible hit a rock and get the boat stuck on a big patch of land and since the dinghy cant be pushed we could only sit there looking for cars while the others tried kicking the boat until it blew itself up...

[Ash'R9k.]

Prep mission for the Humane Labs raid : Deliver EMP (on hard).

I'm rocking my good old Daemon for the first time in a while. My route-planning-on-the-go and my riding are both on point, I arrive at the Alamo Sea far before any of my teammates in Lime Green Turismos who followed their GPS and crashed in about every wall/traffic they could find (as shown by the spinning blips on the map and the state of their headlights later on). About 2/3 turns before the insurgent location the first Turismo catches up (my Daemon can only go so fast) and rams me intentionnaly, I lose all of my armor and my Daemon keeps going straight into the water, I think to myself : "Stealth mission with these guys ??? Forget it, I may as well leave already." But the second puke-worthy Turismo comes in and finishes me off right as I get on my feet. What a savior, I didn't have to leave a single prep/heist mission so far ! And this guy kept me from having to !

Oh well, I suppose they didn't enjoy being beaten by a Daemon while driving Supercars

Edited March 18, 2015 by Ash'R9k.

[CrazyLemon]

On the Pacific Standard heist, with randoms:

Made it all the way 'till the end with over 800 000 in the bag. Everything seems wonderfull - The only thing we have to

do, to complete it, is to drive the boat the last little trip. Douche (the player with the lowest lvl), has obviously forgot to
charge his ps3-controller, so the boat ends up sliding gently on to the shore - What follows next, is me and two others

players desperately trying to push a big ass boat, back into the river...

 

Of course the thing blows up, and we're back to square one... Finnished it, though, but the douche kept dying so much

we only ended up with 550 000...

[DanDud88]

I was on a team that failed because some 12 year old kid, had to go for his tea in the middle of heist and instead of turning off his console he just went away from it and when i messaged him the next day he said "I didn't know I was going for my tea".

 

So a tip from me never start a heist near meal time or when you know your going to go out. Oh and the obvious don't play with 12 year olds.

[Turkish Turketarian]

What the hell is with all of the idiots who throw you out of the objective vehicles on heists? Every time that sh*t happens to me, I ruin the heist setup/heist, period. Play like a f*cking teammate or get out.

Edited March 18, 2015 by CP27

[The Ost]

Pacific Standard - Signal

 

Arrive at Seashark. Pick closest one. Heist leader throws me off it. Whatever. Ride to island. Wait 25 seconds for others to catch up.

Start shooting the cops. I end up closest to hut when cut scene plays. This means I have to drive the police boat on the way out. Heist leader and buddy get upset and quits. (If it meant that much why not a) say something or b) fail mission so we can restart)

[Revenge of the Donut]

Was right at the end of the prison break one and the guy flying the plane flew it into the sea.

 

Me and 2 others reached the boat at the end of the Pacific Standard job only for the 4th guy to to get himself killed right near the end, it said he committed suicide so presumably he went off one of the cliffs on chilliad.

 

A lot of the most frustrating f*** ups happen right at the end.

[LazerGunFunk]

Doing the prison heist everything went smooth despite 2 randoms get to the end everyone jumps from the plane

 

"Mission failed Rashkovsky has been killed"

 

cool...

[Giantsgiants]

I was doing the Prison Break heist with a friend, and when we were taking off in the Velum near the end, a police helicopter kamikazed into it. My friend couldn't resist recording it.

 

I was doing the Hydra setup in the Humane Labs heist with some randoms. We were flying the planes to Sandy Shores Airfield. I had landed my Lazer and the guy with the Hydra was positioning it to go inside the hangar. I strayed off the runway a little bit and hit what looked like a small rock that even a lowrider could go over, and my Lazer blew up.

Edited March 18, 2015 by Giantsgiants

[DMCDante1987]

I remember The Prison Break, especially because I have had 2 tries that failed at the beach landing. How do you manage not to open your parachute? lol The freaking game even tells you how in the top left corner.

[The Leprechaun]

Pac Stnd heist

 

A guy spends most of the 2+ hours and 3 restarts yelling about I cannot drive, yet I only die twice due trying out the leader's strategy to keep over a million (which worked) or an idiot in a Dominator hitting me into a car barrier, where as he frequently falls off his bike dying no less than 7 times (probably over 12 times). Also uses a kinect mic, which makes it hard to hear him, and almost runs out of batteries.